Response from Mrs. Janet Waugh – District 1 – Received 6/25/05
From: JWaugh1052@[xxxxxxx]
To: bobby.henderson@gmail.com
Date: Jun 25, 2005 6:34 AM
Subject: Response from a member of the Kansas Board of Education
Thanks for your comments about the Flying Spaghetti Monster and all the supporters who have sent their support to members of the Kansas Board of Education. I am supporting the recommendations of the science committee and am currently in the minority. I think your theory is wonderful and possibly some of the majority members will be willing to support it.
Thanks again,
Janet Waugh District 1
Response from Mrs. Sue Gamble – District 2 – Received 6/26/05
From: msgamble@[xxxxxxxxx]
To: bobby.henderson@gmail.com
Date: Jun 26, 2005 6:34 PM
Subject: Reply
Dear Mr. Henderson, Thanks for your message. Thanks for the laugh. Your web site is fascinating. I will add your theory to a long list of alternative theories I intend to introduce when it is appropriate. I am practicing how to do this with a straight face which is difficult since it’s such a ridiculous subject; it is also very sad that we are even having the discussion.
I will be one of the four member minority who will be voting against the flawed science standards currently being proposed by the six member majority.
Sincerely,
Sue Gamble
Response from Mrs. Carol Rupe – District 8 – Received 8/16/05
From: Carol Rupe
To: bobby.henderson@gmail.com
Date: Aug 16, 2005 8:19 AM
Subject: Kansas State Board of Education
Dear Mr. Henderson,
In the midst of the sad circumstances of having our science standards lowered, you and your legion of fellow FSM followers have offered wonderful comic relief. Rather than the form letters which we often receive on other topics, each FSM letter has been clever and unique. I responded to several at first, but now there have just been too many. I am a member of the Kansas State Board of Education and have voted repeatedly to maintain excellent science standards. Last week was the vote to send a new draft (written by the 6 conservative members) out for external review. The four of us on the board who are moderates were in the minority on the vote. The group of science teachers and university professors who had written the original standards (before they were changed) have now asked that their names be withdrawn from the document. The new version changes the very definition of science from “seeking natural explanations” to “seeking logical explanations”. That is why I think FSMism is able to be included. It is as “logical” as any other theory.
The final vote on the standards will be in October. We will be in Lawrence, Kansas for that meeting. Those of us who are moderates on the board are trying to have the meeting in the Natural History Museum at the University of Kansas. We think that would be an appropriate setting for the occasion. We welcome you to be in attendance.
We have received thousands of emails from scientists around the world. At first, they all tried to explain good science to us. After the vote last week, however, they have resorted to calling us hillbillies and morons. And those are the nice letters!
Thank you for adding levity to this situation. You have developed quite a following. I was wondering if we could reverse the effects of global warming if we started breeding pirates.
Sincerely,
Carol Rupe
P.S. I ordered a Kansas Museum of Science t-shirt. I may just have to wear it to a board meeting.
From: Mrs. Kathy Martin, District 6
“It is a serious offense to mock God.”
YOU christians are mocking the FSM!!! shame on you!!
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Dear Mrs. Kathy Martin, District 6,
yarrrrr!!
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Dear Kathy Martin,
I’m not into you
Love,
Me
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Ms. Kathy Martin,
I seriously doubt that you will read this, but I’m going to throw it out there anyway.
If it is truly an offense to mock this “God” character of which you speak, why hasn’t Mr. Henderson been charged with anything yet? If Bobby has actually broken a law, especially one that you claim is serious, I expect him to be prosecuted for it. I’m certain that he would expect this too. Murder, rape, and treason are “serious offenses”. Blasphemy is just plain fun!
All Hail Our Noodly Master,
Paul R. Welke
Edmonton, Canada
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this is why things were so bad before imperailism, no pirates = bad!
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If the schools refuse to teach theology in a respectable fashion, the only course of action left is to teach it in as silly of a manner as you can manage.
All hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
“HAIL!”
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Although I’m an atheist, in my (metaphorical) book it is you who is mocking God, Mrs Martin, when you conspire to belittle the vast and unimaginably majestic Creation around you by attempting to foist your non-sensical, inconsistent views, which you dress up as ’science’, onto the young and impressionable.
May you feel the blessed moistness of His appendage on the nape of your neck as He reminds you that the Bible is just a recently compiled heap of bronze-age mythology. May he whisper his tomato-fetid breath into your ear, telling you that the universe itself, and the spirit of human enquiry, not to mention humour, which it has thrown up in the most incredibly unlikely fashion on this minute dew-drop of a planet, had existed for so long before your beloved parochial middle-eastern hocum arose as to make it laughable. The universe itself mocks your God, Mrs Martin.
Blessed be the fork-twiddlers. Aaar!
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Blasphemy is only an offense if you are talking religion; science has no equivelant. How can an omnipotent creator of everything be bothered by the words of mere humans? Seems a little silly, doesn’t it?
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Fsshhlppt!
(The sound made when partaking of the noodly one)
RAmen.
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The letter sent to the Kansas School Board regarding the FSM was not meant to mock “God.” A person in your position surely must be intelligent enough to realize that? The intent was to mock, well among other people, you. The idea that Intelligent Design is a scientific theory is what is being mocked, and those who believe that ID is a valid scientific theory and should be taught in science class are being mocked. The letter attempts to show that if Intelignent Desing actually does meet the standard for being taught as science, then based upon those standards, there is no reason why FSM should not be taught as an alternate theory as well.
At issue isn’t yours or anyone elses belief in God. At issue is why should students be taught about God in the guise of science? I prefer my religion to be taught to me by someone who actually knows and understands the material, someone who can help guide me when I have a question, someone like, oh I don’t know, a Priest or Pastor? (or whatever title is used in your religion…) Wouldn’t that be more appropriate than say an overworked underpaid public school science teacher who has not studied religion as a major field of study? I think we can all agree that you would not want to have someone teaching nuclear physics who isn’t say a nuclear physicist? Right?
Science takes a look at the available evidence and tries to come up with the best possible explanation that fits the facts. When more evidence becomes available, past conclusions are re-examined to see if it still makes sense with the new data. Things like “the world is flat,” or “the Earth is the center of the solar System and the sun revolves around the Earth,” were believed to be accurate, and were taught as fact. Eventually evidence came along that proved that the world was not flat and the Earth in fact revolved around the Sun (not the other way as was once believed…) Science can correct itself based upon new findings and new evidence.
Science answers “how.” how does this work, how did it happen etc… By gathering evidence and obseving how things work now, you make theories on how they might have worked before or how other similar things work. In science there is a mechanism that allows errors to be corrected. That mechanism is called “The Scientific Method.”
Religion answers the question “why.” It does so by the use of Dogma. Why should I not “Covet my neigbors wife?” Because God told you so. Why shouldn’t I “Use the lords name in vain?” Because God told you so. Dogma does not have a mechanism like the Scientific Method to validate its teachings. Dogma by definition needs no validating. Therefore it is not and can never be consdiered science. You have a problem with one of Gods rules? Then it’s tough to be you I guess, because that rule ain’t gonna change. Why? Because it is dogma.
Dogma is not science. Religion is not science. The FSM site and the letter sent to the Kansas School Board was not intended to mock God. It was intended to mock those idiots at the Kansas School Board who think that teaching religious dogma disguised as science (Intelligent Design) sounds like a good idea. I am going to guess that God is smart enough to understand that He (or She) was not being mocked by this site or that letter, it’s a shame that you couldn’t see that, Mrs. Kathy Martin.
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Dear Kathy,
Do not mock the mocking, or the sacred semolina of His body will be upon you, and low, it shall be moist and starchy (if not properly rinsed). The coldness of his shoulder-like meat-ball will chill your shaky-cheese until it no longer shakes appropriately. I fear for your immortal sauce!
Repent…repe-ent……re-epe-e-ent!
Cam
Toronto, Ontaro
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I’m from Britain, so I’m not entirely sure how it works in the United States, but in Britain we have ‘Religious Education’ lessons, where ideas such as ID and deities can be discussed and argued rationally and coherently. Does America have such a thing? And if so, why don’t you teach Creationism in these lessons? At least with this, religion does not need to be couched in pseudo-scientific terms and taught as fact with ‘collaborating evidence’.
Come to your senses and remove ID from science lessons and back to Theology where it belongs. At least then you won’t have to have evidence for your delusional rantings! I mean, surely all rational people know that the great FSM created all things! I pray that you will one day be touched by His Noodly Appendage, so that you too may come to know the glory that is the Flying Spaghetti Monster!
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I second the breeding of pirates (only if all parties are willing of course! otherwise that would be violating #4 of the ‘Things I’d Rather You Didn’t)!!!
And Miss Kathy… For shame… for shame…
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The similarities between “It is a serious offense to mock God†and the recent puerile insecurities displayed by some muslims over what the pope had quoted are striking. Why does god, in all of its omnipotence, benevolence, and omniscience, need one puny Kathy Martin to defend it? Why? Isn’t it just a little presumptuous, if not down right arrogant for you to be offended in god’s stead?
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My dear Kathy,
Don’t you see the hypocracy of it all? Your little sentence was a powerful comment, especially because you suggest that we are mocking God. Do you hate terrorists, mrs. Martin? Because the terrorists kill in the name of your God. Christianity, Judaism, and Islam all worship the same God.
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Dear Kathy,
You say that it is a serious offense to mock god, but do you not mock our great, pasta-based creator by your insulting his teachings? You are willing to believe the bible, a book that has been altered so many times that we might as well get rid of the whole thing, but you are not willing to even take into consideration that maybe, you are wrong, and that our creator was in fact a spaghetti monster not a man. You are hypocritical and rather simple minded.
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Yaar!
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Xaos, in the US, they are thinking of changing biology and the like with religion (both being accepted as the “truth”), you are thinking of Religion classes. Two completely different things.
I will mock God as much as I can, being Sargoth-Kuul and all. You get what you deserve. FSM is the true diety. Awe our lord and midgit-maker. RAmen.
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To the Three Ladies on the School Board, who are not brain dead, may you have many blessings from his Noodlesness. May you Chianti be dry and your parmesian tasty. May we all meet in the Olive Garden in the Sky.
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I am a Christain and belive in Jesus Christ and all that the Bible has to say, but I have to agree with Bobby’s point of view. The idea of bringing ID into a science class is absurd. There is no way to decide which would be the right theory to present, and there is no way you could teach them all.
However, I think that the whole idea of Evolution on a grand scale (such as from amino acids to man) is kinda’ goofy. The findings of Pasteur seem to discredit the whole idea of spontaneous generation.
But, remember, the idea of the world being flat was completely accepted by the scientific communities long ago, and has since been disproven. I think that the same will happen with evolution over time.
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It’s a strange thing that only people who believe in God in a some what fundamentalist way seem to have problem with evolution? The scientits who are trying to prove evolution wrong with thease ID-theories and such are also christian. Doesn’t it strike to you more a thing to do with God and a desperate need to prove his existanc in fundamental rather than an actual flaw in the evolution theory. Besides, as I understand ID has been proven false. The supporters of evolution theory aren’t biased against God or anything, because most of them aren’t biased to any direction in the matter, most the believe in God propably, so in that way of course. Unlike, the people who try to prove evolution wrong, who definately have more at stake here and are willing cut corners to achieve their goals, so I’d much rather believe the people who aren’t so desperate proove their views right.
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All written theology has a form of the Golden Rule . ” Bibles” were all written ” after the fact” by humans . They set guide lines to keep people in line . If a creator exists, FSM is just as good a name as God,Allah,etc.If a creator created life on our remote sphere ; then part of the humanoids body included a brain to reason with . These ” guide books ” eliminate the need to think for ones self .
There are more important things to argue or discuss than how things came to be and why?
WHO cares! The important thing is that we’re here; no matter how it came about.
Meanwhile,back at the ranch, the human species keeps over-populating and devouring the artificial means that provide for its’existance.
Kansas & DC aren’t the only places exhibiting the phenomina of brain freeze.
ARRRRRG !
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Dear Miss Kathy,
I am rather surprised by the fact that an educator, rather that any educated person, such as yourself could fail to see the humour in the FSM.
I am even more stunned by the fact that you could consider creationism a tangent of science. The fact that the bible exists does not prove the existance of an almighty being. The fact that the bible exists proves nothing more than the bible does indeed exist. It is a story, rather an anthology that was written by mortal hands and has been followed by those not intelligent enough to distinguise fiction from fact.
The fact is that the study of science is and will remain a respectable practice, if individuals such as yourself mature and realized that your views are not only illogical, but rather pathetic. For example, your christian faith follows that leadership of a Pope, whom you believe is a figure head whom Christ willed to be in charge of his church, when, in fact, the pope was a figure head created by the Franks in the early 700’s to help link the clergy to the crown.
However, I assume as an educated individual, you are aware of this and have cleverly chosen to follow his leadership. I ask, where is the science in that?
Channing
Lethbridge, AB CA
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Dear Miss Kathy,
If you truly belive in God, why would you try to spread your belief in disguise of science, instead of preaching fair? Do you have something to hide? Are you ashamed to spread the words of your God for some reason to the extent that you have no choice but to disguise? If I were your God and saw somebody like you demeaning me in the way you are doing, you should be truly afraid of my wrath.
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hehehehe… religion is never open to question… remember that… and pirates are a direct result of the myth that everything used to be better…
hope you all get educated and realise how little you really know…
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In reference to the last response from Kathy Martin: “It is a serious offense to mock God.”
One of the biggest problems in the world today is that people think that just because they believe something without proof (i.e. on faith), others have to take it seriously. If you have a problem with the Flying Spaghetti Monster to the point where you react as such, you shouldn’t have any problem with the Middle East’s reaction to the Pope’s recent comments.
Everyone has the right to have faith. But, somewhere, someone is going to think it’s silly if you don’t have real (scientific) proof.
If you can’t handle that, you’re faith is simply not sincere nor real.
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I think it is a lot harder to mock God than we think. If God didn’t have a sense of humour, we’d all be dead by now.
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when did it get to the point that we need to put others beliefs down to justify our own..?
wait….IT’S ALWAYS BEEN THAT WAY!!!! Kathy, if you would just pull your head out from under the rock, you would see that Not only FSM, but all religion teaches compassion and tolerance. The thought of having religion in public schools is dated, that’s why we got rid of it in the first place. We have religious schools in Canada, where people can choose to learn ID. Perhaps we should open an FSM school to teach the future generations the doctorine.
and to you Kathy….. ARRRRRR!
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clearly there aren’t enough pirates in the world
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Have other work to do – so enjoy this monster paragraph:
As a science teacher of the gifted and talented, I find the whole argument to be somewhat useless in regards to what we need to teach our children in public schools. Perhaps we can instead focus on how to properly aim and fund the science education that will inspire our children and allow them to think for themselves as they mature into the next generation of adults. With the math and English focus of the NCLB act, science education is falling behind and we will ultimately reap what we sew – an even more scientifically illiterate group of adults than we currenly have in the US. We graduate masses of students who have no employability skills and need significant additional (and expensive) education in order to have half a shot at a 1st job, after which most can expect to have many more – good luck at finding a lengthy career anywhere without becoming a lifelong student. When my students speak of this creationism vs. evolution argument, the ones that can think for themselves can’t understand what all of the fuss is about – the former is a topic for home and religious institutions and the latter belongs in PUBLIC schools. The private schools in which I taught had no dilemma with this – both could be spoken of in any classes – and as Miroslav wrote above – science answered “how,” religion “why.” If I am allowed to finish with my naive and idyllic rant: Let’s spend our time focusing on the science that will occupy the other 99% of our students’ time in PUBLIC schools.
Wish I had time to be more coherent, but lesson planning beckons . . .
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I don’t think Pastifarians are taking a strong enough stance on this issue. I am the religous leader for my fellow pastifarians at my private catholic middle school. We believe that FSMisn should be taught in schools. Every bit of “learning” that is done in my school has a large amount of biblical “history” and “propoganda” in it. We must take this strong stance to oppose the extremly one sided teaching that is insued here.
AARRRGGG
RAmen
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Ah, my dearest children,
I do believe that the Beatles had it right when they said,
“All you need is love.”
I suggest you all take up meditation. When you then merge with the infinite and realize that this entire universe lives inside of you, you will relax. You can then sit back and enjoy the whole drama as I do. Your sense of humor will return and all relalities will be seen with their own inherent validities. Learn to love the drama and each of the players. It is all you really have until you merge back into the infinite.
Love and kisses,
Your Own Divine Mother
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thank you kathy
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Science:
To find the truth in nature and everything around us- creatures, plants, fungus, rock, metal, air, fire, water, earth and space.
Religion:
To look up “truth” in the wrong dictionary. And then hear voices.
“What is the difference between the eccentric artist, the religious and a madman? The artist has a berret, the religious a bible and the madman a straitjacket.”
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Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster!
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Sorry Kathy, it is you who is being mocked, not your god.
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Yar yar!
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As one great Pirate (if he wasnt he should have been!) once said…
“good people do good things”,
“bad people do bad things”,
“when good people do bad things – they call it religion!”
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Yaharg Lassie! Ye be insultin’ ma’ Faith!?
Death comes for ye!
And Pirates.
Love,
Gerald Jenkins Pirate Apprentice
How am I doing?
1-800-258-0855 Ask for Gerald Jenkins
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Dear Mrs. Kathy Martin, District 6, its a serious offense to mock FSM, and i’m not just speaking to you i’m also speaking to the other repliers from the Kansas State Board of Education.
>:P
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Dear Ms.kathy…MyMyMy…and when did we get the great position of speaking for God?And which one are we speaking for????Mine says They never made that arrangement with you…soooo as a new High Pasta-ness of this great order I say to you….May His Noodley Appendage Come down from Above and Slap Thee Right on Top of Thy Pointiness of thy Little Head and shaketh thy small under cooked noodle. May The Great One take pity on thy undercookedness……and make of thee a great Udon ..Her High Pasta-ness..MamaVoodoo
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Poor Poor Kathy, obviously you have not partaken of the saucy sacrament from his high Noodliness. Pastafarianism is a quiet quaint communion of all strands of holiness into ones body. May his Angel Hair entwine thee to thy reconcilliation meant to save thee from the evil Fra Diabla who digests within thee.
Come forth from your box and be fully immersed in the waters of redemption upon the holy alter of Stove, that you may be reborn and rinsed of your starchiness.
Say 25 ‘Hail Marinaras’ and 10 ‘Oh my Meatballs’ to save thyself from your stiff and boxed ways.
*Ramen*
His High Sauciness,
Al Dente Paladin d’Tortellini
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Kathy, your well argued and carefully thought out stanza has rid me of my foul urges toward the noodly one. Clearly, when one has such a grasp and intuitive understanding of our place in the universe as you it is pointless to argue. Which God is the right one again? I get a little confused, and I’d hate to screw up again at this point. I love you.
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I’ve read a lot of (but not all) the response/ comments/ hate mail etc sent in by “Christians” and have a question or 2/ 3: According to gospel/ scripture/ the bible (insert name of religious text here) you fabulous people aren’t very “Christian”, now are you? I ask this because in one of the insane hate mail messages the author basically says he can’t wait to see Mary/ Jesus/ Diety of your choice kicking Bob’s but and that it’ll be the best moment of his life when Bob burns in everlasting hell fire (ya’ll) etc. Really? No matter what Bob or anyone says/ or does, do you think God would want you to be thinking like that? Hmmm… maybe you just human after all? Or are you just hypocrites? (I’m not a Christian by the way), but all relgions/ faiths preach the same basic message: LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR, BE TOLERANT etc etc etc… Where did all that go? How did the Right Wing Christian fundamentalists manage to forget the main message of Christianity. It isn’t “DO WHAT I SAY SO YOU CAN GET TO HEAVEN” that’s for sure and screw anyone who thinks differently (or in some cases, is capable of thinking at all). xz
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Kathy, I repent my starchy ways. Thank you for showing me the light, I will now make jihad against all Pastafarians in the name of OUR GOD!
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At least Kathy will have to agree that it would be fair to teach the kids that one theory claims that earth is flat and one theory claims that earth is round. Just saying that the earth is round would be to mock god wouldnt it?
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Dear Mrs. Kathy Martin;
I cannot begin to tell you how terribly glad I am that you have been chosen as God’s assistant. To have the power to speak for Him, be offended for Him, and in all regards give us an up-to-date report containing His opinion on everything, that is truly a great boon! I personally would love to have these abilities, and if you ever have a free moment I simply must request that you tell us all in great detail how you obtained such an amazingly extraordinary position.
Many thanks in advance,
pure.Caprice
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it is funny how you can say such things kathy, when you speak for your god but what what god is it have you spoken to all gods from satan of fire or mother earth of wicca and most of all how dare you speak for his greatness may he slam you into the infernal pot for your ignorness- with gothic love soilder of blood lust for wrath iron JAX
p.s people like you made calumbine happen lol
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Wait…I thought the flying spaghetti monster WAS God… no?
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wait…
assuming god created everything
and god is invisible
and god is all knowing and all seeing
and god is everywhere.
isn’t the only difference between god and the flying spaghetti monster the fact that god made us in his own image.
is it possible that the flying spaghetti monster is god and he just didn’t make us in his own image?
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