2675 Responses to “Comment on the Open Letter”

1. 2521 - October 14th, 2008 at - Jaxon Says:
   
   

   Hahahahahaha this church is out of control funny. I just spent the last 20 minutes laughing my balls off at what you are about. I would like some facts though (you know, to keep on making fun of you)so if you would mind lettin me in on what you think. Peace, you spaghetti loving fools you.

2. 2522 - October 14th, 2008 at - fsm humble follower Says:
   
   

   You are amazing. Thank you sincerly for opening my mind to see the truth behind the creation of the universe and our only purpouse here, to serve Flying Spaghetti Monster.

   but really thank you for showing the school board how important it is to teach alternate theorys other than creationism.

3. 2523 - October 14th, 2008 at - Chad Says:
   
   

   As your newest convert, I intend to throw myself headlong into the faith. I will defend Monsterism with the zeal of a Spanish Inquisitor. I will be His Muhamed; His Malcolm X; His Jerry Falwell. I will noodle my way into homes and minds across the world to spread the word. I vow to punish all heretics. Blood will flow if necessary. Please, I must know. How do I become a prophet priest in the Church of the FSM. My life is empty. I must fill it with the suffering of others.

   -Chad (Soon to be known as Chad The Great Evangelical by converts everywhere and Chad the Impaler by skeptics)

4. 2524 - October 15th, 2008 at - scimmia Says:
   
   

   Hello Chad POST 2522 - October 14th
   Much as I admire the enthusiastic spirit behind your crusading zeal, I feel I ought to point out that impaling your enemies and punishing all heretics and bathing in rivers of their blood isn’t really what Pastafarianism is all about (maybe you should become a Muslim if you’re into all that medieval crap… they still seem to enjoy it… I read in yesterday’s paper that in Arab countries they still decapitate people for blasphemy!!! I’m afraid they closed the Spanish Inquisition down a few years ago so Islam is your only remaining option if you wanna fill your life with the suffering of others!)
   Pastafarianism is ACTUALLY all about defeating your opponents in debate, making heretics and the humourless look ridiculous and bathing your pasta in yummy rivers of tomato sauce!
   (but I think you know that already!!)

5. 2525 - October 15th, 2008 at - scimmia Says:
   
   

   Sorry I sent the same Post twice (2505 - October 11th and 2519 - October 14th), but as you can see they are 3 days apart and since the first hadn’t been posted 3 days after sending it I thought it had been lost in the internet-aether or blocked by the evil forces of the Roman-Catholc church… so I sent it again! Anyway, as someone else said: “repetita iuvat”!

6. 2526 - October 15th, 2008 at - tris Says:
   
   

   I’ll just give a quick prayer of thanks to the web moderators for finally bringing us out of the long dark night of the soul. The FSM has risen again and shown us all his divine power and the light of his ineffable divinity and delicious noodliness is shining forth in all its wondrous slendour once more… I’m all aglow!
   (I know I’m repeating myself, but that’s what prayers are all for!):

   Our monster so great, such art in the plate
   Hallowed be thy scrummy yummy juicy sauces
   Thy kingdom come some day, but not too late:
   Before we move onto our second courses!

   Give us this day our daily pasta
   And forgive us if we sometimes overcook it
   As we forgive those who eat it much faster
   (The important thing is not to overlook it!)

   And lead us not into false consummation
   Of dire dodgy dishes: nasty noodles or ramen
   For thine is the source of the saucy sensation:
   Forever and ever, spaghetti monster amen!

7. 2527 - October 16th, 2008 at - Josh Says:
   
   

   The ‘big bang’ theory was actually the combination of a pot of boiling water filled with spaghetti and the saucepan next to it with meatballs colliding in what would become the universe. I am hungry…

8. 2528 - October 16th, 2008 at - Kimberly Says:
   
   

   Wow!!! Okay where do I begin? Although I think the letter was a little on the weird side, I understand where the author is coming from. His views are similar to how others may view the Intelligent Design, we don’t have any evidence that it, the higher power or creator, truly existed and we were not around to see it happen, but we all know it happened. As with any other beliefs, facts, or theories, the author provided evidence to support his claim. Of course we know this is not credible but it makes since. When we choose to believe in something or someone, to us, it is a fact no matter how ridiculous it may sound. As the author stated, if you teach one view of evolution, you should teach them all no matter how crazy they sound. Bobby Henderson makes a good point even though he sound ludicrous speaking of a Flying Spaghetti Monster creating the Universe.

9. 2529 - October 16th, 2008 at - flyingwhat? Says:
   
   

   LOL, thats the funniest thing I have ever read! I think its a spoof and someone probably wrote that letter as a joke. I mean, seriously, a ‘Noodly Appendage’? LOL, some cynical, sarcastic and ultimately witty person wanted to mess with someone’s head and there you have it. The religion of the flying spaghetti monster. Blasphemy…LOL…I swear to gosh I have read it all now. You all are funny.:-)

10. 2530 - October 16th, 2008 at - Chad Says:
    
    

    Hello Scimmia of POST 2523

    I appreciated your reply. I totally understand that the inquisition is over; however, each church in its own way perpetrates acts of extreme cruelty or callousness. The catholics hide and shield their child molesting priests from prosecution and set them up in new parishes where they are allowed to repeat their crimes. Certain mormon chapters ritualistically rape their underage female congregants. muslims beat and sell their women and are perhaps the single greatest misogynistic culture ever in all of history.

    Clearly every great religion must have its dark side where atrocious acts are committed in the name of advancing the religion or in order to maintain the status quo with respect to a set of religious memes/values. I fear that if FSM remains a purely pacifist religion that it will not be taken seriously and will sputter and die. I intend to give FSM a viscous bite that cannot be ignored.

    But have no fear, little trooper. I fully recognize that not all members of the FSM will follow the bloody swath I intend to cut. Again, all great churches must suffer a schism. The politics of power demand it. Some will come my way. And some will remain behind with you.

    Oh pastafarians, Drop your butter knives and forks. Pick up your meat balls and embrace the dark side of your pasta plate. The FSM has saucy red meaty balls for a reason. He is easily angered by those who do not support his piratey ways. The way of the FSM is not pacifism. It is activism. Extreme activism against those who do not support pirates.

    Is it not clear! We must become pirates and embrace their raping and pillaging ways. We must kill and steal and kill some more: and preferably with cutlasses. If we do not act soon we will incur his wrath. He will send the Carbogeddon and the end of days (or is it dinner). Oh you have been fooled by false prophets and preachers, pastafarians. I denounce Bobby Henderson as a fake. He has lost the way and is leading you all astray. Join me. Kill a landlubber today!

    Chad the Impaler

11. 2531 - October 16th, 2008 at - scotty Says:
    
    

    how many days did it take his noodeleyness to make the mountains the trees and the migdets so i can compare him to god?

12. 2532 - October 17th, 2008 at - Myriade Says:
    
    

    Hello!
    I am totally amazed! I mean - I always knew there was something wrong, but now I realised how easy the solution was. The existence of Flying Spaghetti Monster made everything clear to me! Now I finally have something reasonable to believe in.
    Seriously - your idea is brilliant (astute, I should say), His Noodeleyness himself must have led your hand when you were writing the letter.
    I’m gonna tell all my friends about this website!

13. 2533 - October 17th, 2008 at - Meeba Says:
    
    

    The same amount of time it takes pasta to cook. About 8 minutes.

14. 2534 - October 17th, 2008 at - Wench Nikkiee Says:
    
    

    #2528 flyingwhat? Says:

    “LOL, thats the funniest thing I have ever read! I think its a spoof and someone probably wrote that letter as a joke.”
    .
    Careful there with your blasphemy flyingwhat, lest you be damned by the Noodly One to an eternity of flat, stale beer and ugly strippers!
    I suggest you immediately consume a large bowl of righteous spaghetti and meatballs to redeem yourself.

15. 2535 - October 17th, 2008 at - Vik Says:
    
    

    @Scotty of Post #2530

    He boiled the Earth for 15-20 minutes at medium heat, added salt for flavor.

16. 2536 - October 18th, 2008 at - Zane Says:
    
    

    @Chad - Post 2530

    It may be true that most religions have been cause of bloody confrontations from those of their faith killing those who do not share their beliefs, but true Pastafarians are those who will not do this. There can be no schism in the faith over the matter of using violence against people who do not believe in the FSM as His word is clear.

    I quote the first two ‘I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts’:

    “1. I’d really rather you didn’t act like a sanctimonious, holier-than-thou ass when describing My Noodly Goodness. If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I’m not that vain. Besides, this isn’t about them so don’t change the subject.”

    “2. I’d really rather you didn’t use My existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don’t require sacrifices and purity is for drinking water, not people.”

    So you see He doesn’t want us to go around hurting people for not believing. Our goal is to convince them to believe by showing them the logic of our religion. And if they still don’t believe then that’s fine because they have the right to believe in any other god(s) they choose to.

17. 2537 - October 18th, 2008 at - scimmia Says:
    
    

    Hello Chad (the impaler? come on… we both know the last thing you impaled was a meatball on your fork!) POST 2529 - October 16th

    Thanks for your reply too… It sounds like you’ve been overcooking your pasta and it’s become a nasty undigested sludge in the pit of your stomach, whose evil vapours are rising into your brain and causing vicious and violent thoughts of crusade and jihad! Or maybe you’ve just had an unpleasant argument with a girlfriend or someone you care about and it’s left you seriously pissed off! In fact I myself am in this kind of state right now, having this very evening told someone I cared about (note the past tense!) that it looked like she didn’t give a damn about me since she hadn’t been answering my calls or calling me back when she had said she would (etc. etc. the usual Italian girl thing!). When people treat you like that (as if you counted for nothing or you didn’t exist) for a long period you really build up a heavy Gordian knot of anger and resentment inside you, and sooner or later you have to cut through it to free your forces and they have to come out… but I don’t think killing the believers of other religions is the way to resolve it and liberate your oppressed energies… It’s best to tell her what you think, and if she tells you to fuck off (that’s basically what my lady did!) then you can start your life afresh, a sadder and a wiser man, but more free to act because you are unburdened by uncertainty and a tiring emotional link to someone who will never reciprocate your attentions and affections! Phew! I feel better after that liberating tirade!

    But, seriously, without projecting any more of my own sad problems onto you, I can fully understand your rage and resentment at 2000 years of monotheistic oppression and institutionalised brainwashing and the consequent weight of false beliefs that we still have to bear. Nevertheless most of it is old water under the bridge and (as someone once said) you should try to forgive them, for they do not knew what they did! As the great W. Blake said: “the road to Hell is paved with good intentions!” so maybe they thought they were doing the right thing for their fellow people, it’s just that the evils of brainwashing ran so deep that they inevitably perpetuated them! I said “forgive”, but not “forget”, for we need to stop making the same old mistakes and adopt a new “religion”… but this means an ironic, joyful, joking religion of non-belief (or pretend-belief)… not just another religion of oppression and hate (there are enough of them already and it’s time to dump ‘em or stick ‘em in a museum for atrocity and mental deviancy!).

    It’s true that there’s still a lot of “bad shit going down” even now and I agree that “each church in its own way perpetrates acts of extreme cruelty or callousness”, but this does not necessarily mean that “every great religion MUST have its dark side where atrocious acts are committed in the name of advancing the religion” as you claim. Why MUST religions be like that??? It’s true that they often do end up like that, due to mechanisms of power and control, but it ain’t necessarily so! In my post #2477 in this section of the site I mention the highly advanced moral philosophy of Buddhism and Taoism, which have always respected not just people but also animals and nature… this is probably due to the fact that they don’t have an absolutist law-giving god as such (but rather an abstract cosmic principle or force):
    “If we had been Buddhists instead of Christians, capitalists and colonialists we probably wouldn’t have fucked up the whole planet with pollution or destroyed rain forests or invented atom bombs and killed millions of people in the name of faith or opening new markets… Buddhists and Taoists have never done that altho’ they managed to develop the martial arts to the highest levels of perfection, sublimating our animalistic violent urges into a form of personal transformation, respect for others and personal responsibility for one’s actions… an incredible spiritual achievement when you think about it!” (I admit that the samurai often indulged in chopping their enemies up, but they didn’t do it in the name of their faith, to punish others for not believing in their philosophy or so as to convert anybody!)
    So maybe you should try to sublimate your anger through Kung Fu (even boxing or capoeira or something like that would probably be good for you… you’ll lose your pasta-belly pretty quick too and maybe find a worthier girlfriend… if that’s what you need!)

    You say you fear that if FSM remains purely pacifist it will not be taken seriously and will sputter and die, but it isn’t being taken seriously by the false believers anyway, and it is raking in new converts all the time… I don’t think it would be so popular if it was based on killing and stealing and raping and pillaging and impaling, as you advocate! There is a dark side of the pasta plate, as you say, but we must understand it and sublimate it… I agree with activism but that doesn’t mean forcing our pasta down other people’s throats… when they see how tasty it is they’ll soon join the banquet, and if they don’t, well….. fuck ‘em!

18. 2538 - October 18th, 2008 at - tris Says:
    
    

    Have you noticed how this site has become infested by viruses (Trojan horses and worms) lately?
    I hope you’ve managed to clear up this assault from the evil forces of darkness in their malicious intention of infecting and freezing this site with their usual obscurantistic fury? Maybe that’s what caused the long dark night of the soul a few days ago?? (see my previous posts).
    Fingers crossed!

19. 2539 - October 18th, 2008 at - scimmia Says:
    
    

    Hello Chad POST 2529 - October 16th,
    Thanks for your reply too… It sounds like you’ve been overcooking your pasta and it’s become a nasty undigested sludge in the pit of your stomach, whose evil vapours are rising into your brain and causing vicious and violent thoughts of crusade and jihad! Or maybe you’ve just had an unpleasant argument with a girlfriend or someone you care about and it’s left you seriously pissed off! In fact I myself am in this kind of state right now, having this very evening told someone I cared about (note the past tense!) that it looked like she didn’t give a damn about me since she hadn’t been answering my calls or calling me back when she had said she would (etc. etc. the usual Italian girl thing!). When people treat you like that (as if you counted for nothing or you didn’t exist) for a long period you really build up a heavy Gordian knot of anger and resentment inside you, and sooner or later you have to cut through it to free your forces and they have to come out… but I don’t think killing the believers of other religions is the way to resolve it and liberate your oppressed energies… It’s best to tell her what you think, and if she tells you to fuck off (that’s basically what my lady did!) then you can start your life afresh, a sadder and a wiser man, but more free to act because you are unburdened by uncertainty and a tiring emotional link to someone who will never reciprocate your attentions and affections! Phew! I feel better after that liberating tirade!

    But, seriously, without projecting any more of my own sad problems onto you, I can fully understand your rage and resentment at 2000 years of monotheistic oppression and institutionalised brainwashing and the consequent weight of false beliefs that we still have to bear. Nevertheless most of it is old water under the bridge and (as someone once said) you should try to forgive them, for they do not knew what they did! As the great W. Blake said: “the road to Hell is paved with good intentions!” so maybe they thought they were doing the right thing for their fellow people, it’s just that the evils of brainwashing ran so deep that they inevitably perpetuated them! I said “forgive”, but not “forget”, for we need to stop making the same old mistakes and adopt a new “religion”… but this means an ironic, joyful, joking religion of non-belief (or pretend-belief)… not just another religion of oppression and hate (there are enough of them already and it’s time to dump ‘em or stick ‘em in a museum for atrocity and mental deviancy!).

    It’s true that there’s still a lot of “bad shit going down” even now and I agree that “each church in its own way perpetrates acts of extreme cruelty or callousness”, but this does not necessarily mean that “every great religion MUST have its dark side where atrocious acts are committed in the name of advancing the religion” as you claim. Why MUST religions be like that??? It’s true that they often do end up like that, due to mechanisms of power and control, but it ain’t necessarily so! In my post #2477 in this section of the site I mention the highly advanced moral philosophy of Buddhism and Taoism, which have always respected not just people but also animals and nature… this is probably due to the fact that they don’t have an absolutist law-giving god as such (but rather an abstract cosmic principle or force):
    “If we had been Buddhists instead of Christians, capitalists and colonialists we probably wouldn’t have fucked up the whole planet with pollution or destroyed rain forests or invented atom bombs and killed millions of people in the name of faith or opening new markets… Buddhists and Taoists have never done that altho’ they managed to develop the martial arts to the highest levels of perfection, sublimating our animalistic violent urges into a form of personal transformation, respect for others and personal responsibility for one’s actions… an incredible spiritual achievement when you think about it!” (I admit that the samurai often indulged in chopping their enemies up, but they didn’t do it in the name of their faith, to punish others for not believing in their philosophy or so as to convert anybody!)
    So maybe you should try to sublimate your anger through Kung Fu (even boxing or capoeira or something like that would probably be good for you… you’ll lose your pasta-belly pretty quick too and maybe find a worthier girlfriend!)

    You say you fear that if FSM remains purely pacifist it will not be taken seriously and will sputter and die, but it isn’t being taken seriously by the false believers anyway, and it is raking in new converts all the time… I don’t think it would be so popular if it was based on killing and stealing and raping and pillaging and impaling, as you advocate! There is a dark side of the pasta plate, as you say, but we must understand it and sublimate it… I agree with activism but that doesn’t mean forcing our pasta down other people’s throats… when they see how tasty it is they’ll soon join the banquet, and if they don’t, well….. fuck ‘em!

20. 2540 - October 18th, 2008 at - Young Earth Pastafarian Says:
    
    

    Two posts stating creation at 8 or 15-20 minutes? Such heresy cannot be countenanced!

    The the earth is clearly al dente (chewing a rock will prove this to any doubters)and as such would have been boiled for 1.5-2 minutes.

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