I wrote the Open Letter sometime around January of 2005 and posted it online several months later after receiving no reply from the Kansas School Board. Within days of posting it online, the letter became an internet phenomenon, generating tens of thousands of visits each day, as well as personal responses from the school board members themselves. To date (August 2006), the venganza website has received upwards of 350 million hits, and somewhere in the proximity of 15 million unique visits. This website operates on a dedicated server and uses 600 - 800 GB/month in bandwidth. I’ve received over 15,000 emails in response to the letter.
The letter, after being blogged heavily for months, was printed in several large newspapers, including the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Chicago Sun Times, and many others. The newspaper articles caught the attention of book publishers, and at one point there were six publishers interested in getting the Word of the Flying Spaghetti Monster out to the public. In the end, the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was released by Random House in March of 2006.
It’s now been over a year since the FSM phenomenon started. I hope that a year from now we will be recognized as a legitimate religious organization, with all the same benefits *and tax loopholes* that the mainstream religions enjoy.
Please leave me a comment on the Letter, the FSM movement as a whole, or whatever you like. Thanks,
-Bobby
I believe that there is NO SUCH THING as coincidence. I wonder, perhaps, if the FSM has a motive for changing our data? (Or maybe he’s just bored.)
I just found this letter and I just had a religious experience.
Probably my first.
Bless you Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Now my life makes sense.
Finally, a religion I can embrace! How do i become a pirate!?
No doubt about it, I want to convert. I do, however, have a few questions/concerns. While I am a big fan of pasta in general, I prefer whole grain pasta made from brown rice. Is this acceptable or is this a wheat only religion? In light of “I’d really rather you didn’t # 4, people seem to want to do unto me more often when I am looking svelte. This rarely happens when I eat white flour pasta. Any suggestions?
Having spent most of my life as an agnostic that is defined in Webster’s as asserting the uncertainty of all claims to knowledge, I feel I must share a recent experience. I was completely unaware of this religion until I had a vision. It came to me in the middle of the night after many, many, dark ales. A very handsome (matter of fact, he looked an awful lot like Johnny Depp) pirate visited me and enlightened me to the world of FSM. He outlined the faith and instructed me to pass on this next message along with the creationist theory. From now on we must teach PE (physical education or gym depending on where and when you grew up) in mathematics class. I am not really sure why but now that I have converted I understand that I am not supposed to question it, just take it for granted that it is so.
Ramen!
SIMONTOLOGY SUPPORTS THE CHURCH OF THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!!!
WE OF SIMONTOLOGY WHO OFFER ENLIGHTENMENT!!!
WE OF SIMONTOLOGY WHO OFFER NINJANUITY!!!
WE OF SIMONTOLOGY WHO OFFER GUIDANCE!!!
WE OF SIMONTOLOGY WHO OFFER KNOWLEDGE IN REMORTAGING ONES HOME!!!
WE OF SIMONTOLOGY RECOGNISE THE IMPORTANCE OF THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!!!
ALL MUST WITNESS AND BEHOLD THE AWESOME POWER OF THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!!!
JOIN US AND BE SAVED!!!
Please tell me that this is a joke. Do NOT tell me that this is some real cult designated to actually convince people that a giant ball of spaghetti created the universe and dresses like a pirate. :)
Sly Looger and I are appalled yet amused at the fact that there was even such an inkling of idiocy existed in this modern era.
Upon the discovery of Pasta Worship, I must congratulate you on making such a cute and hilarious t-shirt. “Obey your noodly master.” Adorable.
Anyways, please assure me this is only a joke and not a cult. Otherwise I’d be really creeped out. I SCOFF at this religion! Have a “Noodly” Day.
Sincerely,
An atheist and a christian
i wish to bring to your attention that the spaghetti monster has been acknowledged by the physicists, who , however, call it “strings”. according to them, the universe is made of strings, or in our words, spaghetti. thus it is He the Original Spaghetti created this world, in an intelligent manner. it is speculated that the Original Spaghetti might have been from italy.
“with all the same benefits *and tax loopholes* that the mainstream religions enjoy.”
As long as you think of yourself as a side-track, you will never become mainstream.
ohh satire is so sweet! this is brilliant.
Announcing The Ninja Scism - the 95 Theses of Rev Ninja Big Muffy G of Milan
Out of love for the truth and the desire to bring it to light, the following propositions will be discussed at Wittenberg, under the presidency of the Reverend Ninja Big Muffy G, Master of Martial Arts and of Sacred Pastafari Theology, and Lecturer in Carbonara on the same at that place. Wherefore he requests that those who are unable to be present and debate orally with us, may do so by letter.
In the Name our Lord the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Ramen.
1. Our Lord and Master the Flying Spaghetti Monster, when He said “let it be pirates and ninjas”, willed that the whole life of believers should be very ninja.
2. This word cannot be understood to mean sacramental fish, which is administered by the pirates because they have loads of it.
3. Yet it means not inward repentance only; nay, there is no inward repentance which does not outwardly work divers ninja-made pizzas.
4. The overcooking of pasta, therefore, continues so long as hatred of ninjas continues; for this is the true inward repentance, and continues until our entrance into the kingdom of pasta.
5. The super mega head of all pirates does not intend to remit, and cannot remit any pastas other than those which he has imposed either by his own authority or by that of the Cannoli.
6. The super mega head of all pirates cannot remit any overcooking, except by declaring that it has been remitted by the Flying Spaghetti Monster and by assenting to the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s remission; though, to be sure, he may grant remission in cases reserved by phone. If his right to grant remission of overcooking in such cases were despised, the guilt would remain entirely unforgiven.
7. the Flying Spaghetti Monster remits guilt to no one whom He does not, at the same time, humble in all things and bring into subjection to His vicar, the ninja.
8. The delicious cannoli are imposed only on the living, and, according to them, nothing should be imposed on the dying.
9. Therefore the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the super mega head of all pirates is kind to us, because in his decrees he always makes exception of the article of death and of wedgie.
10. Ignorant and wicked are the doings of those pirates who, when they see a ninja, laugh very hard at his sacred outfit.
11. This laughing at ninjas is quite evidently one of the tares that were sown while the super pirates slept.
12. In former times the ninjas were respected and pirates would be honoured to fight them, as tests of true valor.
13. The dying are freed by death from all pasta; they are already dead to the cannoli, and have a right to be released from them. So the ninjas can eat the cannoli.
14. The imperfect health, that is to say, the imperfect love of ninjas, of the dying brings with it, of necessity, great fear; and the smaller the love of ninjas, the greater is the fear.
15. This fear and horror is sufficient of itself alone (to say nothing of other things) to constitute the penalty of overcooked pasta, since it is very near to the horror of despair.
16. Overcooked, So-so, and Al Dente seem to differ as do despair, almost-despair, and the assurance of safety.
17. With So-so pasta it seems necessary that horror should grow less and love of ninjas increase.
18. It seems unproved, either by reason or The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, that they are outside the state of merit, that is to say, of increasing love of ninjas.
19. Again, it seems unproved that they, or at least that all of them, are certain or assured of their own blessedness, though we may be quite certain of it. Ninjas rule.
20. Therefore by “full remission of all overcooking” the super mega head of all pirates means not actually “of all,” but only of those eaten by himself.
21. Therefore those pirates who don’t like ninjas are in error, who say that by the super mega head of all pirates’s indulgences a man is freed from every overcooking, and saved;
22. Whereas he remits to overcooked pasta no penalty which, according to the ninjas, he would have had to pay with his life.
23. If it is at all possible to grant to any one the remission of all overcooking whatsoever, it is certain that this remission can be granted only to the most perfect, that is, to the ninjas.
24. It must needs be, therefore, that the greater part of the people are deceived by that indiscriminate and highsounding promise of Al Dente pasta.
25. The power which the super mega head of all pirates has, in a general way, over pasta, is just like the power which any pirate or ninja has, in a special way, within his own ship or bungalow.
26. The super mega head of all pirates does well when he grants excellent ragú to ninjas, not by the power of the cooking pasta (which he does not possess), but by way of his mum.
27. They preach pirates who say that so soon as the penny jingles into the pirate-box, the pasta is ready.
28. It is certain that when the penny jingles into the pirate-box, gain and avarice can be increased, but the result of the cooking of the pasta is in the power of the Flying Spaghetti Monster alone.
29. Who knows whether all the pastas in the pot wish to be bought out of it, as the greedy pirates seem to believe.
30. No one is sure that his own pasta is well cooked; much less that he has attained full Al Dente.
31. Rare as is the man that is truly good at cooking pasta, so rare is also the man who truly buys pot noodles, i.e., such men are most rare.
32. They will be condemned eternally, together with their teachers, who believe themselves sure of their pasta cooking abilities because they have letters of pasta. Silly pirates: those are for kids.
33. Men must be on their guard against those who say that the super mega head of all pirates’s pardons are that inestimable gift of the Flying Spaghetti Monster by which man is reconciled to pasta;
34. For these “graces of pardon of overcooking” concern only the penalties of eating overcooked pasta, and these are appointed by pirates.
35. They preach no Pastafari doctrine who teach that contrition is not necessary in those who intend to buy pasta out of the pot or worse pot noodles.
36. Every truly awesome Pastafarian has a right to full remission of penalty and guilt for overcooking pasta, even without letters of pardon, provided he or she loves ninjas.
37. Every true Pastafarian, whether living or dead, has part in all the blessings of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster; and this is granted him by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, even without letters of pardon for overcooking pasta.
38. Nevertheless, the remission and participation [in the blessings of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster] which are granted by the super mega head of all pirates are in no way to be despised, for they are, as I have said, the declaration of divine remission.
39. It is most difficult, even for the very keenest theologians, at one and the same time to commend to the people the abundance of pot noodles and the need of good pasta.
40. True contrition seeks and loves ninjas, but liberal pardons only relax ninjas and cause them to be hated, or at least, furnish an occasion [for hating them].
41. Apostolic pot noodles are to be used with caution, lest the people may falsely think them preferable to other good works of love of ninjas.
42. Pastafarians are to be taught that the super mega head of all pirates does not intend the buying of pot noodles to be compared in any way to works of mercy for overcooking that bleeding pasta.
43. Pastafarians are to be taught that he who gives to the poor or lends to the ninja does a better work than buying pot noodles;
44. Because love for ninjas grows by works of love for ninjas, and man becomes better; but by pot noodles man does not grow better, only more free from pirates.
45. Pastafarians are to be taught that he who sees a ninja, and passes him by, will be sorry.
46. Pastafarians are to be taught that unless they have more than they need, they are bound to keep back what is necessary for their own families, and by no means to squander it on pirates.
47. Pastafarians are to be taught that the buying of pot noodles is a matter of free will, and not of commandment. And is still no excuse for overcooking your pasta.
48. Pastafarians are to be taught that in a fight between a pirate ad a ninja, the ninja always wins.
49. Pastafarians are to be taught that the super mega head of all pirates’s recipies are useful, if they do not put their trust in them; but altogether harmful, if through them they lose their fear of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
50. Pastafarians are to be taught that if the super mega head of all pirates knew the real power of the ninjas, he would be really rather afraid.
51. Pastafarians are to be taught that it would be the super mega head of all pirates’s wish, as it is his duty, to give of his own money to very many ninjas, even though his car might have to be sold.
52. The assurance of salvation by fleeing ninjas is vain, even though the commissary, nay, even though the super mega head of all pirates himself, were to stake his ship upon it.
53. They are enemies of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and indeed of the super mega head of all pirates, who bid the Word of the Flying Spaghetti Monster be altogether silent in the ninja dojos, in order that pasta may be overcooked by some scalawag.
54. Injury is done the Word of the Flying Spaghetti Monster when, in the same sermon, an equal or a longer time is spent on pirates than on this ninjas.
55. It must be the intention of the super mega head of all pirates that if pirates, which wear very silly hats, are celebrated with one bell, with single processions and ceremonies, then the Ninja, which is the very greatest thing, should be preached with a hundred bells, a hundred processions, a hundred ceremonies. It must be.
56. The “treasures of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster,” out of which the super mega head of all pirates grants indulgences on overcooking pasta, are not sufficiently named or known among the people of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
57. That they are not temporal treasures is certainly evident, for many of the vendors do not pour out such treasures so easily, but only gather them.
58. Nor are they the merits of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, for even without the super mega head of all pirates, these always work grace for the inner ninja, and the cross, death, and hell for the outward ninja.
59. My uncle Jimbo said that the treasures of the Church were the Church’s ninjas, but he spoke according to the usage of the word in his own time when he was drunk.
60. Without rashness we say that the keys of the Church, given by the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s merit, are that treasure;
61. For it is clear that for ninjas are far cooler than pirates
62. The true treasure of the Church is the Most Holy Gospel of the glory and the grace of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
63. But this treasure is naturally most odious, for it makes the pirates to be last.
64. On the other hand, the buried treasure of the island in a chest is naturally most acceptable, for it makes the pirates to be first.
65. Therefore the treasures of the Gospel are nets with which they formerly were wont to fish for men of riches by the cunning use of fish, which pirates have loads of.
66. The treasures of the islands are fish nets with which they now fish for the riches of men who needn’t fish but ladies in fishnets.
67. The treasure which the pirates cry as the “stash’a'cash” are known to be truly such, in so far as they promote ninjas.
68. Yet they are in truth the very smallest graces compared with the grace of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and the piety of the ninjas.
69. Pirates are bound to admit that ninjas rule.
70. But still more are they bound to strain all their eyes and attend with all their ears, lest these pirates want to be ambushed by ninjas.
71. He who speaks against the truth of ninjas, let him be shredded by shuriken!
72. But he who guards against the lust and license of the pirates, let him have pizza!
73. The ninja justly thunders against those who, by any martial art, fail to love pizza.
74. But much more does he intend to thunder against those who use the pretext of pirates to contrive the injury of holy love of ninjas.
75. To think a pirate could ever beat a ninja — this is madness.
76. We say, on the contrary, that the pirates are not able to remove the very least of venial sins, so far as its guilt is concerned: they are jealous of ninjas, of their power and proximity to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
77. It is said that even a ninja, if he were hungry, could not refuse overcooked pasta; this is blasphemy against the Flying Spaghetti Monster and against the ninja.
78. We say, on the contrary, that we the ninjas will die with the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s name on our lips, starved, rather than eat overcooked pasta or worse, pot noodles.
79. To say that the pirate flag, emblazoned with the super mega head of all pirates’s arms, which is set up by the pirates, is of equal worth with the awesome flag of the ninjas, is blasphemously lame.
80. The pirates and theologians who allow such talk to be spread among the people, will have an account to render to the all mighty Flying Spaghetti Monster and the ninjas.
81. This unbridled preaching of pirates makes it no easy matter, even for learned ninjas, to rescue the reverence due to the super mega head of all pirates from slander, or even from the shrewd questionings of the laity.
82. To wit: — “Why does not the pirate surrender, for the sake of holy love of ninjas and of the dire need of the souls that are there?”
83. Again: — “Why are ninjas so much cooler than pirates?”
84. Again: — “What is this new fondness of the Flying Spaghetti Monster for pirates? Last time we checked, it was ninjas that were His stealthy vicars.”
85. Again: — “Why are the cannoli made by the ninjas so much more delicious?”
86. Again: — “Why does not the pirate, whose wealth is to-day greater than the riches of the richest, give some treasure to the ninja?”
87. Again: — “What pirate would be let into an official ceremony? They look like they are going to a fancy dress party, while the smart look of the ninja is as good for meeting the royals as it is for going to bed. the Flying Spaghetti Monster needs proper institutional representation.”
88. Again: — “What greater blessing could come to the Church the Flying Spaghetti Monster than if it were run by Ninjas?”
89. “Since the super mega head of all pirates won’t let the ninjas run the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, what should the ninjas do, in accordance to his teachings?”
90. To repress these arguments and scruples of the laity by force alone, and not to resolve them by giving reasons, is to expose the Church and the Flying Spaghetti Monster to the ridicule of their enemies, and to make Pastafarians unhappy.
91. If, therefore, ninjas ran their own Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, all these doubts would be readily resolved; nay, they would not exist.
92. Away, then, with all those pirates who say to the people of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, “Pasta, pasta,” and there is no sauce!
93. Blessed be all those ninjas who say to the people of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, “Meatballs, meatballs,” and there is extra sauce!
94. Pastafarians are to be exhorted that they be diligent in following the Flying Spaghetti Monster, their Head, through ninja practice;
95. And thus be confident of entering into the Kingdom of Pasta rather through many tribulations, than through the assurance of ninjitsu.
Long Live the Flying Spaghetti Monster! Overwhelming picture evidence he created our world! And a midget!
i have been guided to your website by a family member (obviously working under the influence of the divine flying spaghetti monster) and am absolutely amazed. laughes, chuckles and guffaws. i now know that there is hope for us all. SAVE US FSM, SAVE US!!!
I THINK SHELBERT AND SLY LOOGER HAVE COMPLETELY MISSED THE POINT. (THATS RELIGION FOR YOU)
To Shelbert and Sly Looger
It’s more of a joke. You’d have to be hard pressed to find someone who ACTUALLY believes in the FSM. And yes, our T-shirts are quite good.
Yarr Matey!!
I be wearing His chosen outfit ever since me be poping me first pod in aunenen over two years ago. I be dressing acting like a pirate, talking like a pirate and doing the things a pirate ought to be doing ever since then. I even be wearing me eyepatch while out yarring.
I have to be asking though, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, is he be forgetin’ of the acts any pirate worth his salt ought to be doing? Could such acts be considered as pious? For me be a very very good pirate and me soul be in dire need of salvation. If so I be promising this day that I be spreading His word for the rest of me life. Here be an example:
Oy! You there you best be giving me all your booty or you be sleeping with the fishes tonight. Yarr! Capital! Blessed be Flying Spaghetti Monster and all the fruits he be bestowing uppon us!
i “scoff” at anyone who says the FSM is a joke. if we say this is a joke, that the FSM created the world out of nothingness, that he passed down His word to man to print and re-print and re-interpret, and that he still maintains dominion over us, then why wouldn’t we say this about other religions? why couldn’t other religions be seen as similarly absurd? if FSM isn’t plausible because He hasn’t chosen to reveal himself, then why would we choose to follow another deity with similar absentee tendencies? faith is what compels us. faith in the truth. and an unwavering sense of not being a sheep. follow the FSM. preach His word. Spread his gospels to the misguided souls bowing down to their false idols.
Or at least just don’t be an idiot. :)
and somebody please throw ’shelbert and sly looger’ a bone. (or a clue) they are in desperate need of salvation (and a sense of humor).
To Shelbert and Sly Looger,
“Sly Looger and I are appalled yet amused at the fact that there was even such an inkling of idiocy existed in this modern era.”
I’m sorry you lost me here? Are you talking about that crazy cult ‘christianity’. I’ll assume so, in which case fear not! I allowed the FSM (praise be upon him) into my life and my dreams and he has spoke with me about this particular subject. Apparently the only reason he created these other religions was to weed out all the gullible people of this world. Apparantly he has plans for them. I don’t want to go into to much detail here but I can assure you that these plans involve stale beer and VD!
Oh yeah, one more thing - “An atheist and a christian”?
So hows that work then?
@Reverend Ninja Big Muffy G of Milan Feb 12th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Arrrgh!
We’ve been boarded by a sneaky blasphemous Ninja. No doubt in the middle of the night whilst it was wearing pajamas! Who the watch Pirate drunk on rum again?!
“84. Again: — “What is this new fondness of the Flying Spaghetti Monster for pirates? Last time we checked, it was ninjas that were His stealthy vicars.”
.
“88. Again: — “What greater blessing could come to the Church the Flying Spaghetti Monster than if it were run by Ninjas?””
.
“94. Pastafarians are to be exhorted that they be diligent in following the Flying Spaghetti Monster, their Head, through ninja practice
.
95. And thus be confident of entering into the Kingdom of Pasta rather through many tribulations, than through the assurance of ninjitsu.”
.
In ya dreams!
Begone with your blasphemous fairy tales Reverend Ninja Big Muffy G of Milan, ye rebellious scallywag bilge rat!
Begone before ye find yeself at the end of the plank with a Pirates cutlass at ye back!
I am a true follower the FSM! There wrapped in his noodles are the secrets of the universe. In his shape lies the truth. Anyways it is a lot less depressing than some dead guy hanging on a cross who died because people just dont want to “just get along”, and he didnt know when to shut up.
Long Live the Flying Spaghetti Monster!
As an aside, I would rather belive in a god who shows up for dinner every friday night, than some chrstian god who would kill me if I hear his voice.
Also there have been no deaths in the name of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Not so for many other religions.
The power of pasta be with you!