From a Pastafarian in Britain (thatâ€™s the little country thats government is stupid enough to support Bush over Iraq) where the FSMâ€™s influence is badly needed.
â€œCome over to Macedonia and help usâ€ Acts of the Apostles Chap 16, verse 9:
first recorded excuse for American Military Intervention (circa 60 Al Dente)
There are a large number of Pirates still living in Cornwall (which is the extreme South Western tip of Britain); however they are heretic Pirates because a) they are not really Pirates but the descendents of â€œwreckersâ€ which is a land based form of Piracy involving luring ships on to rocks and plundering their cargoes which isnâ€™t at all FSMist as people got killed and b) they canâ€™t spell Pasta. The local dish is called a â€œPastyâ€; this is clearly the result of someone who couldnâ€™t read too well and anyway the local people had probably never heard of Pasta because most of the men were either away at sea fishing or working down the tin mines whilst their wives stayed at home making the Pasty (or committing adultery with the men who had the good sense not to go off to sea or down the mines).
Also the ones who call themselves Pirates these days are the supporters of the local Rugby team. (Rugby is like American football but played by people whose IQ is in three figures and who slap each other manfully on the back when they score a touchdown rather than jumping around dementedly in the end zone as if theyâ€™d got a scorpion down their pants and pointing at a non-existent being in the sky or kneeling down and touching their faces and shoulders just to see whether the players on defense have managed to pull any of their limbs off).
Incidentally these so-called Pirates arenâ€™t even descended from the Wreckers on the whole but are rich city types whoâ€™ve downsized into the country where thereâ€™s less crime, noise, pollution etc, consequently driving up real estate prices so that the local people have had to move to the cities where there is more crime, noise, pollution etc. Ah, the joys of the free market economy!!
Anyway these heretics badly need to be touched by His Noodley Appendage and brought back to true understanding.
@Bob from England
Well, you know what to do then, good luck to you! I’d start with wearing the FSM T-shirts: I just got mine, and I LOVE them! Plenty of funny campaign, I’d say.
@Bob from England
Hi Bob and welcome. I’m an Aussie so I’ll try not to mention cricket to you OK :)
We do have quite a few English Pastafarians who seem to be around in the morning (yours not mine) No doubt you’ll run into them sooner or later. Look out fot Booty, Alchemist, Beastly Rich, Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA and co.
I’ve just read a few more posts from this thread: I’d like to buy the gospel, but in a real nice, clothbound (leather?) edition. I think the whole FSM idea is worth it. Maybe it could help to get it into the “Religion” and/or “Philosophy” shelves, too. Actually, our prophet could first add some of the best, nicest, funniest statements made by Pastafarians worldwide, and the most blatant examples of hatemail too! An idea for the first lustrum of twentyfirst century Pastafarianism?
I’d love to see a tome of our best hate mail, with a few choice comments, as well.
actually, i’d love to see a hatemail anthology too.
Hey, you’re concentrating on the hate mail, and I was trying to congratulate the Pastafarians for their constructive thinking! AAAARGH!
Hi Bob from England,
We have Pastafarians from other parts of Brittain as well. I’m doing a mild bit of FSM evangelical work here in Belfast (although I’m not originally from GB). I think this place needs to lighten up about religion more than any other part of the UK. The church where Ian Paisley sometimes preaches is probably within a mile from my house. Barely enough distance not to be awoken by his Sunday morning thunderings.
Mail (will not be published) (required)