Echoing the sentiments of justin Daniel, yes, I too agree. You are an utter genius. I too am currently a Pastafarian.
Forever and ever, RAmen.
All Hail our God and founder of Pastafarianism. Indeed the Monster works in mysterious ways. As a Prophet of the Noodley One and Bishop of our Mother Church I can speak with confidence that the Noodley one who cannot be named will smite, smote, and otherwise boil the named school board for the heinous and blasphemous sin of promoting intelligent design fully knowing the fact that the only intelligent being in the universe is our lord and savior who boiled for our sins- the great, the benificient, may the sauce be upon him- FSM
Your Eminence, May Sauce be Upon You.
I’m down here with some apastates cast aside by Jehovah. I’m happy enough with my new boss and job but, is there any hope for their redemption? Is there a Holy Certificate of De-Excommunication, available from the One True Church, as an Indulgence for such sinners?
I can’t stand their gnashing of teeth and want to get shot of them. Aaaaaargh…
Io sono pollini le foto fatte ai miei amici gigantografia mie e di bonzo molto particolare ferraris piu omeno cordo srgenteria ah ok cone che si chiamava argenteria
All is revealed.
His Noodliness miraculously found me in Far North Queensland. I instantly saw the light and He solved all of my spiritual concerns. Now, I sit on deck, marvel at the stars and feel at one with the Universe. All because His Noodliness smote away the corrupting, obsessive dogma that prevents us from being spiritual. The certain Knowledge of an afterlife, with a 30-day free trial period, is simply irresistible.
Anyone know if there are any FSM seminary vessels or other pirates in FNQ? I have many theopastalogical questions, but, I’m in dangerous waters. Aaaarghhhh
There use to be plenty of Pirates up there when Uncle Jo was in charge. unfortunately they were the ones that gave Pirates a bad name.
Keith: I facilitate a support group for excommunicated JWs. It is quite possible there may be a mass conversion.
I plan on entering a ‘life-size’ FSM in my outback village’s annual scarecrow competition. Is that sacrilege? I feel He would understand but, do the ends justify the means?
Are you familiar with the McGurk Effect? When I say the word: “Aaaarghhh”, to theohollics on my doorstep, they mistakenly hear the word(s):”Fuck off.” I feel that this biological phenomenon is evidence that SUPPORTS ID.
There be pirates in these waters than plunder people’s souls. Aaaaargh.
(Does Bobby do Certificates of Un-excommunication?)
I think that entering a scarecrow FSM is a good idea. It may result in less fundies knocking on your door.
McGURK EFFECT: ANY SOUND ENGINEERS OUT THERE?
From my experiments, I am convinced that, the sound:”Aaarghhh…”, if synchronised with video of mouthed:”Faaaaarrkf”", is ‘heard’ as:”Aaaarrghhh”, by True Believers and: “Fuck Off”, by fundies.
This isn’t in the book. Is this Divine Intervention? Aaaaarghhhh…
Sorry…. The Book.
THE BOOK GIVES ME NO GUIDANCE
When I put diverse, non-living, things into a large pan of boiling water, later, but before too long (about 4 days), LIFE emerges. Admittedly, it is very annoying and tries to suck my blood but, IT IS LIFE. (The Tropics helps). Left a little longer, noodly appendages creep from the Pastordial Soup. Is Evolution occurring before my eyes or, should I ignore the Signs and get on with washing up?
From a theological stance you are almost certainly wrong about the beer volcano! It is well known that pirates sanctified their holey pieces of eight with RUM! Beer does not come into it at all – especially American “beer” – which is an abomination in the sight of the FSM!
Also, I don’t like beer, but I do quite like rum – especially the dark Jamaican rum. If I become a Pasterfarian can I have rum instead?
Read the Scriptures lad, or be flogged with a wet noodle. The Volcano does ontological magic: even Jamaican White rum (far more flavoursome) can flow if you wish.
Roped and keelhauled through Fred Phelps butt-crack is the price paid on my ship. Rarely survived. Aaaaarghhhh….
Sorry Fred, I dropped your possessive apostrophe overboard. Aaaarghhhh…
Captain, while I respect your right to set your own standards of discipline on your ship, is there anything a crewman could do that is so horrific you’d want to do something that could cause Fred Phelps *pleasure*?
Aaaaarghh, Reverend, it is indeed a cruel and unusual punishment. I will REVERSE the roles and see if discipline remains strong on this ship.
Helppppp, my crew are revolting.
Yes, Captain Birdseye, I have seen your crew and they most certainly are revolting.
Aaaahahaaargh…..we’ve marooned the Captain and Phelps and taken the ship! Rum all round. Splice the main-brace…..or something….and weigh anchor me hearties.
Help. Get him off me. No……oooo, not again. I repent; I can change; I believe in FSM.
Save me…… Pleassssssse….
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Ignore the fool. He’ll never repent. Aaaaarghhhhh…..
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