By far the most wonderful letter ever written. Ever. That is all.
Great letter. I wonder if the recipients had a laugh about it – in private, of course.
Dear Pastafarian People. have you ever learned anything about the scientific method? i am not saying that you are ignorant, but it sure seems to me that you are deluded. here are the scientific facts for you to consider:
1. wheat is needed to make spaghetti
2. wheat was domesticated from grasses by our human ancestors about 10,000 years ago, before that it did not even exist
3. so, if humans made wheat, and wheat is used to make spaghetti…
4. then, humans must pre-date wheat, spaghetti, and even your spaghetti monster.
There is absolutely no way that your spaghetti monster could have created humans, in order for humans to create the spaghetti monster because that would be a circular argument, just like in an Excel Spreadsheet that does not compute.
Please see your beliefs for what they are which is pure delusion.
The Christian Scientist
Dear Christian Science Teacher,
Please check the “about” tab.
You’re kidding, right?
Finally, we get one of the nutjobs that believe man rode on dinosaurs 2000 years ago, and that God incubated plants in heaven then transplanted them on earth and you have the hide to call us deluded?
Mate, we are only joking. As Insightful Ape suggests, you should read the about tab. You are actually stupid enough to believe your rubbish. I suggest you go back to school, enrol yourself in science classes and learn something about the scientific method.
So what are you saying? that the Noodle just swoops down and changes all scientific data right on the spot? come on you guys are more delusion than i first thought. next you are going to say the great Noodle created humans in his own likeness or something equally delusional. come on folks. scientific facts are facts and you can’t argue with a fact.
Have you read the About tab yet? Or are you just a troll?
I will assume you are ignorant and go with the first. You are right; scientific facts are facts, and they indicate that creationism is rubbish. Had you read the About tab as IA advised you to do, you would have a clear understanding of our viewpoint.
But I won’t let facts get in the way of a good fantasy story. Our fantasy story is better than yours, we get strippers and beer when we die, you get boring old harps. And we challenge you to prove that the great Noodle actually didn’t come down and create humans in his likeness, instead of the arrogant arsehole of a god you believe actually did.
I’d love to see how you go teaching the facts to the kids in your class yet have to explain how this fits in with the fairy tale swimming around in your deluded mind.
I tried to read up on “Christian Science” but I’m blowed if I can make sense of it. Seems to have been invented by a Mary Baker Eddy in 1866 after she was healed of something or other. She sounds a bit giddy to me. Perhaps it was a religion founded on a post American Civil War stress disorder.
So what are you saying? A god created itself out of nothing? YOU are more delusional than we thought, and I really hope that you aren’t actually a teacher… If you are, FSM help your students.
Of course you can’t argue with a fact. You can, however, argue with a Christian Sciance Teacher – but only if you don’t mind wasting your time; theological-style disputation has always been a waste of time. 1., 2., 3., 4., …. are supposed to be unassailable – and relevant, just like: 1., “God” (MY God) is omnipotent, omniscient, etc., 2., “God” (MY God) has ALWAYS existed, blah, blah, et cet. As far as the conflict between religion and scientific data, Christian Science pretty well epitomises that: Almighty God swoops down and (in response to directives from the worlds CST’s) cures those upon whom mere medical science has given up? (Sorry, couldn’t avoid the ending preposition….)
That’s exactly what we’re saying.
You just try to prove us wrong.
PS, just how cloesly related were your parents?
Christian Science Teacher,
I have a few questions/statements,
1. If i answer god did it to all questions i technically cant be wrong?
2. What degree does this study go towards?
3. Yes we are kidding, close but no cigar.
The whole FSM doesnt exist argument hey, well i have 2 questions for you.
1. Can your god do anything?
2. Can he make a rock so big he can’t lift it?
Hope to hear from you
If ‘Christian Science” was an actual science it would not need the ‘Christian’ prefix. You will have a hard time teaching me anything since you cannot see beyond the folly you call faith.
You worship a zombie on a stick and a god that is his own father from a book of talking snakes, violence, and hatred that was written a century after the people who supposedly wrote it died. Yet what you believe is not pure delusion? I think you need to discover what true science is about, and I pray to the FSM for your students. Especially since the point of all this just went over your head.
Piont, Drained. The word is ‘piont’, remember. And I guess it is a ‘fucking piont’.
You are right Specile Sicentis… I forgot! My apologies :)
Oh, so the FSM couldn’t have existed millenia ago because there was no wheat, but Yahweh lived in a vacuum, made of human flesh? We Pastafarians will play the same Magic card as the Christians. Your turn.
Was there rice? becuz, pasta can successfully made from rice, corn, potato (ever hear of gnocchi) & without wheat flour neccessarily (wild rice is technically not a grain but a grass)…so, the fsm could still exist in absentia wheat…good 2 kno in event of wheat blight or shortage, or for celiacs…amarranth, quinoa, pea protein, all can contribute 2 a healthy, well textured pasta…that hopefully does not offend wheateaters sensibilities. bon appetit.
& in urliest stages, the fsm could have existed in unrefined format. ..not yet honed into finished product. man DOMESTICATED & CULTIVATED variety of items, refined etc but, not create d per se.
FSM created himself! He did not need pasta to form himself for he created all things! You know… the same way god was created…
Do not forget: The FSM is always there, altering scientific results with its Noodly Appendages to make things look different from what they actually are. Thus, wheat might not have evolved from grass but put into this world by HIM just after after mountain and midgit.
Foolish teacher. What if the FSM created wheat/pasta in its image, as God supposedly made man?
sorry, i didnt meant to say “in his own likeness” what i really meant is that we obviously dont look like a noodle, just as the True God does not look like a noodle.
A lot of the people on here are scientists, that’s why it’s funny.
How do you know? Can ya prove it, Sherlock?
Do you understand it is equally absurd to claim the creator of the universe (in case such a thing exists )is looks like a human being or has a human son, as it is to say it is made of noodles?
String theory, which is gaining a lot of traction – says everything is made of “strings”. They look suspiciously like noodles to me.
I didn’t realize that you had the inside scoop on what the “REAL” god looks like! So you’ve seen him? Is he hot? And while we are at it science person… Where is your proof and evidence of such a god? You have yet to present any of that. As a true science teacher, you should be able to argue with facts. So, your evidence that a) a god even exists… and b) how you know what it looks like.
“Is he hot”
Maybe life is a video game and god just no lifes it…
And looks like a super ugley nerd in the christian religion….
Not all nerds are ugly, but maybe there is a reason he doesn’t show his face.
Presumably the further back in time we go the more apelike this god becomes: unless, of course, we were to subscribe to the so-called “young earth” notion. In that case we should all remember what Java Man looked like (and no, I don’t mean the coffee guy from Mad TV).
speaking of apes an activity not involving computers 4 kids of any age:
i reccomend this as i just found out what the made in CHINA logo actually stands 4 on the back of device boxes of majority of electronics equipment we use…it equates 2 human rights abuses very often.
I do not kno if this is made in CHINA & dont expect u can type with it but i wish id thought of it during a relativs dexterity therapy…
U obviously have not seen my hair. It looks just like fusilli when i allow it 2 air dry…if i knew how 2 upload a pic id show u…
So technically, w/o realizing it, in his image…
°°°°°°° ; )
Christian “Science” Teacher, perhaps you are used to voicing your beliefs unquestioned but, do you have to use the term “True God” to describe your god? Are you unaware of the blantantly inflammatory nature of such an assertion or do you just like provoking a response from us? Whenever someone makes that assertion we always ask the same question, “How is your God the True God?”, and the response is invariablely the same- silence. You have very little evidence to make such a claim, in the markscheme of life you’ve lost half marks by not providing a justification supported by evidence. Markscheme guidance: ignore phrases such as “because he is.”. Where is the gathering data, testing hypotheses, publishing results? Oh! wait, there is no data, no evidence, your beliefs are just beliefs- you can wish them to be true as much as you like but that is not how the universe works (as far as we know) . Anyway we do have evidence for the existance of the FSM, the Holy Book written by the Prophet Bobby, because it says so it must be true! I find free thought such a challenge so I’m glad that there’s somebody who can manufacture “evidence” so we can all live in a happy, fantastical fairy world where we can frolic with unicorns and fairies all day! Of course all those who question our beliefs must DIE AND BURN IN HELL!! RAARGH!!! CAPS MEAN DOOOOOOM!!!!! That way we don’t hurt our little heads by worrying about things like “bias”,”proof”, “accuracy”, “validity” or “evidence”. Yay, suppression of logical and free thought FTW!!!( Those Puritans must be damn proud of us, seeinh how “far” we’ve come)
Speaking of evidence. Since i began posting here, some1 HACKED our device & removed evidence of abusive treatment (by police). 4 the record. I strongly suspect not all here r in agreement on things as it appears…no offense. I ought have expected as much by this point…
Note: seeing not “seeinh”- Damn you sausage fingers!!!!!
All my life I have walked in the wilderness.
Now He has touched me with His Noodly Appendage.
What do I do now?
May the Sauce be with you.
All hail his noodley appendege, that touches us all! We would love if this was taught at our school… but they haven’t tried to teach intelegent design yet… :'( Carl is an Athiest and I am a Wiccan, but we totaly worship the FSM. Thank you for the epic letter to bring up the case ever arises.
Carl and Brandon. I am delighted that they haven’t tried to teach creationism in your school. Let us hope things stay that way for you.
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