You become a Pastafarian by declaring that you accept the eight “I’d really rather you didn’ts”*, that you become educated in real world subjects, and that you will join us aboard to celebrate life as it really is. YO-HO-HO is just another dialect, and it is acceptable. The precise uniform of a pirate is variable and acceptable, so long as it is clear where your allegiance lies.

Welcome aboard.

RAmen

*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of_the_Flying_Spaghetti_Monster#Captain_Mosey_and_the_Eight_.22I.27d_Really_Rather_You_Didn.27ts.22

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And, can I wear a kerchiefs? No more pirate hat in the shops until next Carnival!
Last, the sword, is it fine if made of cardboard?

Thanks, and Ramen.

renato

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Stacey,

His Noodliness does not require you to partake of any food stuffs that go against your ethics. Eat what you will and enjoy.

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Dear FSM site,

I discovered your site by accident today.

I find it absolutely hilarious! And that was before I read the ‘hate mail’. I don’t know what is wrong with these people but they obviously feel terribly threatened to have written such evil shit – and they are supposed god fearing citizens ;-)

Anyway – I just wanted to say thank you for cheering me up – I think you have made a VERY good point and in a humorous way.

I will now check out your site periodically.

Have a great weekend and don’t eat to many meatballs ;-)

Best wishes,

Stacey

p.s. how do I eat the body of FSM if I am a vegetarian? ;-)

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Matey,
While I believe that your exclusion of South Pacific gun-toters and Internet song-downloaders is defensible, the criterion by which you exclude them is less so: surely the piratical sine qua non is not the cutlass but the “Argh!” Long John Silver himself carried nothing more formidable than a dagger, and that only rarely: held between the teeth, it impeded a full-throated “Argh!” At the very least, your graph–yes, yes, you may use whatever data points you wish but fair is fair–should bear the caviat: “(except on International Talk Like a Pirate Day).” Of course, this doesn’t contradict your brilliant discovery–but it does refine your argh!ument.

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As a proud Pastafarian, I like to do my part to not only aid myself and those around me, but the world in general.

This is why I have registered as a P.I.T. (Pirate In Training). If we have a surplus of pirates this should theoretically put a damper on, if not end entirely, the global warming issue.

There is no evidence disproving my theory, therefore I shall continue my training. I believe that the better a pirate one is, the bigger the hit on global warming shall be.

Please aid me in saving the world, for our future generations.

RAmen.

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Epic. Thank you.

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@ 856 – Holli -,

I’m sorry that I didn’t include this question in my last response to your post, but you didn’t specify which god I needed. Which of these equally improbable gods would you recommend for me?

If you feel that the Church of FSM is neither violent nor hateful enough for you, then maybe you’ll find something more to your taste here…

Godchecker – your Guide to the Gods
We have more Gods than you can shake a stick at. Godchecker’s Mythology Encyclopedia currently features over 2,850 deities.
Browse the pantheons of the world, explore ancient myths, and discover Gods of everything from Fertility to Fluff with the fully searchable Holy Database Of All Known Gods.

http://www.godchecker.com/

Hope this helps.

RAmen

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Hi Holli

If you want to see something really ‘CRAZY’ you should try reading the bible that’s full of wacky stuff, in one part there is this geezer who gets killed and comes back to life (I think as some sort of zombie). The worse thing is they teach this to kids (who are innocent & trusting) as fact, I know it’s bad, they even push it in schools even though they don’t have anything to back up their claims!!

See there really is even more ‘CRAZY’ shit out there on that interweb thing!

To JOE H

Try not just randomly hitting the keyboard mate!

Thanks
G

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@ 856 – Holli – ,

You too seem pretty frightened. It’ scary when you begin to realize that what you’ve been hearing from the pulpit makes no sense in the real world. It’s even worse when you realize that all of the authority figures in your life have been lying to you all these years. Who can you trust now?

As believers feel free to make claims about the way the universe works, then they should be challenged on it. That’s what happens when you make truth claims. That your claims are hard to back up is unfortunate. You’re free to believe that the moon is made out of green cheese, but being free to believe that, doesn’t require that other people coddle that delusion.

You and your fictitious god and your book that you can’t read or understand, seriously overestimate your ability to frighten me.

Your delusions are not ours to defend, and you do not have the power to force everyone to stop laughing at you, as much as you’d like to be able to do that. And isn’t that what this is really about? That churches want to be able to punish you for disrespecting their sacred craziness?

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Would “Pirate Captain” be a proper term for a Pastafarian who performs marriages? Captains traditionally perform marriages. Someone ought to perform Pastafarian marriages, and a title of sorts would be nice. Pastafarian Pirate Captains could then register in some states to perform marriages.

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Ya know…I was just thinking the other day,

In certain denominations of Christianity, they “drink the blood of Jesus and eat his body” as in wine and those dry wafer crackers…

Perhaps we are all performing a religious rite at dinner time when we scarf down a nice big plate of spaghetti, in His image.

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This stuff is hilarious! I’m Pastafarian on my Facebook.

And you make a VERY good point Alec (861).

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Hey just wanted to say that I love this stuff. I was raised catholic, but over the past few years Ive revaluated my religious views. I dont see this as an affront to God, Nor do I see it as a completley ridicoulous “theory”. All your points are valid, even the Pirate Graph. Thanks for finnaly stepping up to the plate and showing those idiots who think that they can teach intelligent design in the science classroom a thing or two.

Ps. Anybody who uses God to back up there arguments is a douche. You dont know what he wants, nor what his opinion on this theory his. So shut up you stupid Bible thumpers and go back to church and whine about abortions and preach about forgivness, which is kind of contradictory since you people cant seem to stand having somebody contradict your own views, and yet you do the same thing here. So BUGGER OFF.

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@ Holi (856) and Joe (857):
1. Caps lock is NOT cruise control for cool nor does it prove your “arguments” to be right.
2. English is not my native language. I’ve never even had english courses at school. (So sorry for my errors :)) But even I can see you two should better be learning English in stead of sharing your opinions in such an uncomprehensable manner…

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Its pretty funny that Bobby states that he has no problem with religion and yet there are all kinds of hate mail. I’m a christian and I think that this is funny.

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