738 Responses to “Frequently Asked Questions”

1. 101 - October 10th, 2006 at - One Eyed Jack Says:
   
   

   OMFSM! (Oh My Flying Spaghetti Monster) Thank-you for the great laugh, One Crying. :)
   /
   I love people like you! Being a good person and doing good works will never get you into heaven. You can be the kindest, most loving person, but if you don’t buy into the resurrection, you are going to burn in a pit of flames for all eternity.
   /
   On the other hand, you can be the meanest, nastiest, no-good piece of excriment on the planet… you could be Hitler, Manson, Bundy, and Dahmer all roled into one, but if you accept the resurrection you can go to heaven.
   /
   It’s more important to believe in a god that refuses to give evidence of his existence than it is to actually be a good person. It never fails to fascinate me.
   /
   RAmen.

2. 102 - October 10th, 2006 at - The Aussie Says:
   
   

   To the SaucyWench, absolutely nothing. We need someone to balance the piratey men in heavan.
   .
   Gill, they cant prove it. They cant prove anything. Unfortunately, by the same token we cant disprove god. Thankfully, the burden of proof is on them, so its up to them to prove it, rather than us to disprove.
   .
   It all comes down to Hume’s dictum*, which outlines the basic concept that no philosphical idea can be proven by occurences in the real world, and conversly, no real concept can be proven by a philosphical argument. It goes on to mention that it is impossible to prove real life events, bcause nothing is absolute in our universe.
   .
   As a result, we have to rely on philosophical arguments to contend with god, (which is basically an idea, i might add) my favourite being the existence of evil;
   .
   Logical problem of evil**
   .
   Of course, all this wont stop me railing against any evidence that they claim is proof of god.
   .
   Finally, to One Crying, the “resurrection” can be explained by many theories. However the simplest by far, (which takes into account the average individual’s wealth of the time, and does not call upon some untestable, unproveable, and above all, illogical, being to explain it) is grave robbers or defilers. By Occam’s razor***, the simplest is the best. Hence, the “resurrection” is best explained by… grave robbers.

   *http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hume%27s_dictum
   **http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Problem_of_evil
   ***http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occam%27s_razor

3. 103 - October 10th, 2006 at - The Aussie Says:
   
   

   okay.. my “comment is awaiting moderation”… what the?

4. 104 - October 10th, 2006 at - Stevee Says:
   
   

   nyx - If the bible is not historical, but alloagorical, why is it taken so literaly by the christian church.
   /
   Noah’s flood has all sorts of messages attached to it, and didn’t biblical scholars spend fortunes looking for the boat
   on Mt Ararat in the 80’s?
   /
   Science has gone on a pace in the last 2,000 years, just look at the 20th century science gave us Flying, TV, Motor Cars, computers, the internet etc. all of these came about by trial and error of provable things i.e you can fly and you can sit in your living room and watch someone fly thousands of miles away proof.
   /
   According to the bible God spent thousands of years speaking to people directly or via messaengers ya know burning bushes, angels and such like. Then the bible and since not a word, this despite millons of the devout, and of diffrent faiths, praying, asking BEGGING but know nothing you would have thought he would have done something.
   /
   If you think this is “fictional” perhaps more of it is made up - you think?

5. 105 - October 10th, 2006 at - Christian Says:
   
   

   Dear One Eyed Jack,
   I’m not suggesting that you should believe everything the bible says just because it contains some things that are confirmed in other sources. Rather, I’m suggesting that it is evidence, and that a particularly crucial piece of evidence that it contains is the eyewitness testimony of Paul. For my part, I’m willing to concede that the Pastafarians also have evidence, in the form of reported sightings of the FSM. But I think we can legitimately make rational, albeit personal, judgments about whether the evidence for Christianity is better than the evidence for Pastafarianism. In making these judgments, I ask myself questions like: Does Paul appear to be joking? Does Bobby H? Does Paul appear to have an ulterior motive for claiming that he met and spoke with the risen Jesus? Do the witnesses who sighted the FSM appear to have an ulterior motive? .
   .
   Dear nyx,
   You suggested most if not all of the bible was never intended to be read as history. People have to make those kinds of judgments about any text. I can’t prove, for example, that Richard Dawkin’s books are intended to be taken seriously, and are not in fact, intended to satirise atheism. But there are various reasons why I believe Dawkins sincerely believed what he wrote. Similarly with Paul’s letters, and other parts of the bible.

6. 106 - October 10th, 2006 at - SaucyWench Says:
   
   

   One-eyed Jack, Thanks. The FSM brings out the inner wench in me!

7. 107 - October 10th, 2006 at - The Aussie Says:
   
   

   Interesting note on the whole burning bush… there is a plant called dictamnus albus, that in the summer months covers itself with flammable oil, and can often ignite. It grows in Southern Europe, Central Asia, and *GASP* North Africa.
   .
   It’s called the burning bush as a reference to the biblical times, but maybe moses on the mount was just an incidence of natural bush burning?

8. 108 - October 10th, 2006 at - nyx Says:
   
   

   @Stevee
   “If the bible is not historical, but alloagorical, why is it taken so literaly by the christian church.”
   Because fundies are crazy, silly.
   But seriously, it only takes a few charismatic nutjobs to take something potentially good, make it ridiculous and get millions of people to run with it.
   RAmen

9. 109 - October 12th, 2006 at - Sousui Says:
   
   

   Hey, Bob!
   I had a question for you, but I cannot use my email right now due to a problem with my cookies..
   Anyhow!
   I’m proud to say that I was one of your first few hundred (or thousand, whatever) member to your Church of FSM!! But I do know when first word of this religion came out there was a website that you had posted your religion on– and it’s like, the site to make religions I suppose.. Anyway, I dont have the website URL anymore because it’s been too long, and I have a religion of my own newly created about two years ago and I wanted to see if I could enter it……. It’s not a crappy religion, I swear! It’s the beliefe that all religions- are right and wrong. A teaching of the power of your mind, ect, ect, and how religions are really all the same, just all scrambled up by the idiotic “tellephone” game of man’s speaking.. Oh, and immagination! That helped allot to…
   Um, do you mind giving me that URL if you still have it?
   If you could, that would mean allot to me, thanks!

10. 110 - October 13th, 2006 at - PastaEnthusiast Says:
    
    

    Is it allowed to draw the Flying Spaghetti Monster? What would the Flying Spaghetti Monster say about it?
    Some religions endorse fighting if anybody would do..

11. 111 - October 13th, 2006 at - devoted pastafarian Says:
    
    

    Christian,
    Sincerity is the most important thing in life. Once you can fake sincerity, you’ve got it made.
    May the FSM touch you with his noodly appendage.
    DP

12. 112 - October 16th, 2006 at - Bob Green Says:
    
    

    As a recent UK convert to the ways of the Flying Spaghetti Monster I am much concerned that schism may soon result here if Pastafarians are led from the true path to Spaghetti towards the alternative joys of Penne , Macaroni , Linguini etc which heretics claim to have seen and tasted.

    Is it really possible that they are all of the same devine essence , something like the Trinity but edible (at least with rich satanic sauces etc)?

    Please help your unworthy UK Pastafarian brothers and sisters to understand.

    Also do you have a creed that we can all chant together at supper? It may be our last.

13. 113 - October 16th, 2006 at - Davey Says:
    
    

    Bob, I think you already know the answer to your question - the use of the words “alternative joys” sounds like sin to me!
    .
    However, I think this is a good opportunity to tell you about my own research which, although un-published, un-verified, un-written and, in point of fact, un-existing (but no less valid for all of that!), suggests very VERY strongly that the original Mountain, Trees and Midgit of His Noodly Creation are in fact slap in the middle of the Lake District, therefore making England (as it was always going to be) God’s Very Own Chosen Country.
    .
    Tea, sticky bun, schism, anyone?

14. 114 - October 16th, 2006 at - Michael Jirka Says:
    
    

    Umm, another “alternate” church. I am the grand PooBah of the Church of the Bovine Scatology.

    My church also has scientific proof that you are a member.

    So go sit on your throne and do my churches bidding

    RESISTENCE IS FUTILE!!

15. 115 - October 16th, 2006 at - One Eyed Jack Says:
    
    

    Davey writes, “the original Mountain, Trees and Midgit of His Noodly Creation are in fact slap in the middle of the Lake District”.
    .
    Come now. Let’s not be silly. His Noodly Mountain is located in Los Angeles. Certainly you’ve heard of Six Flags Magic Mountain? I mean, come on… it’s “magic”! Any diety that loves beer and strippers must love roller coasters too.
    .
    I highly recommend “Superman the Escape” for sheer speed factor. I hear good things about Tatsu, the inverted, flying roller coaster, but haven’t experienced it myself.
    .
    Oh, and steer clear of the Ninja. Pirates and nijas just don’t mix.
    .
    RAmen.

16. 116 - October 16th, 2006 at - Davey Says:
    
    

    I thought you had “to be this tall to ride”? Why would He, in His infinite Noodly Wisdom, create a midgit next to a bunch of roller coasters that said midgit can’t ride? That’s just plain cruel, and He is a Just Flying Spaghetti Monster. I mean, He’d have to be, what with the Stripper Factories and the Beer Volcanoes and all - sounds pretty damn Just to me!
    .
    You’re right about the Ninjas, though. Avast!

17. 117 - October 17th, 2006 at - Bob Green Says:
    
    

    Davey ,

    Although I believe you speak true , like any infidel come to the true path I am much confused by your reply.

    Although UFO’s and other strange things have been seen over the Lake District none have reportedly been in the holy form of the Noodly One. And its a bit far from any Pirate hangouts.

    Can this be this just part of the magic?

    Surely a believer needs to sift through these confusing holy utterances and place the ones he likes in a proper compendium of holy works?

    It could be called something like the “Dribble” or the “Moron” but I suppose in time it could be used as the basis on which to kill lots of other people.

    On second thoughts perhaps the Church of the FSM should not go that way.

    P.S Can I get a FSM bib to catch the holy drips as I partake of his flesh each Friday?

18. 118 - October 17th, 2006 at - Ryan Mear Says:
    
    

    Uhm, I haven’t been on for awhile and was checking out some posts, and…..christian, at one point you were mentioning (in response to someone elses post) that the story of Noah’s Ark was not to be meant as history. That - ” It’s a fictional narrative written to make a range of theological points.” I think that pretty much might explain the Holy Bible in it’s entirety. A lot of good points, and a LOT of bad, (the stonings, slave owning, selling of daughters to slavery, homosexuality is wrong and unexcusable, you cuss you go to hell, tattooed you go to hell, different belief, you go to hell, humans and dinosaurs lived together on earth ((all animals were created at the same time….and it was good)), ETC. Where was I? Oh yeah. Doesn’t it seem plausible that most of the unbelievable things in the bible might be unbelievable for a reason. Why are there no world wide acts of god anymore? Surely there is enough shit goin on in the world to warrant a good ol’ act of god? Look at that stupid bastard that’s the Pres. of the USA. The wars, the RELIGIOUS wars. Come on God, Jesus, Holy Ghost…all of you, just you, end all this pointless fighting and killing…..the sad thing is, if you are right, and you pray tonight for all the war and fighting to end. It won’t. If you get your whole family to pray for the war and fighting to end, it won’t. You could get your whole town to do the same, and it won’t stop. That means if you’re right, God doesn’t care. What kind of god is that….not one I’d want to follow, or believe in. With all the lessons and physical phenomina that happened waaaay back when, you’d think he’d lift a holy finger to show us what was up now. Isn’t there enough sin in the world to warrant that? Answer me that Christian. Isn’t there enough sin in the world to warrant an act of God? How much is enough? When we kill ourselves in nuclear fallout, is that going to be the act of god or just humans going too far. Remember, if it’s not good it’s not a miracle, and if it’s caused by humans, it ain’t an act of god. Ryan Mear

19. 119 - October 17th, 2006 at - Ryan Mear Says:
    
    

    I must apologize, Christian did not make the Noah’s referance, it was nyx.

20. 120 - October 17th, 2006 at - sofia Best Says:
    
    

    Hi.
    we think that FSM is really great.
    We are a bunch of college students (of sciences the most of us)and We would like to make a pastafranian church here (in mexico)so we need to know what do we have to do to get yous faboulous church here.
    I will really appreciate your answer al my mail address

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