i dont get it

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i once believed in scientology, but now….

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Your credentials are as good as any prophet’s have ever been, and better than most.

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As an avid traveller and theologist, I find the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to be a resreshing break from the contradictions of todays mainstream religions. In fact I would argue that ANY intelligent design theory should only be presented alongside the teachings of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It is also my hope that we will eventually see education institutions founded and conducted by the Church of the FSM. Thank You Bobby Henderson for helping so many others to see the light, this page and all the lives that have been changed by it is testimony to the fact that your Physics Degree has not been wasted.

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wow… ithink im going to convert. i have seen the light, or should i say his “noodly appendage”

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Hi

I am glad I stumble upon your site. You see I have been searching for a new religion on which to base my beliefs.

You almost had a convert. There I was, gazing into the steaming hot bowl of spaghetti and meatballs, preparing myself to dive in ….

But then a nagging snigglet from somewhere down deep crystallized into a thought.

The problem I was having is that if you want to actually follow and practice the fundamental beliefs of most of the really popular religions (notably the big five), you can’t honestly use them as justification for being truly horrid to other people, particularly those of the same faith.

So I have been investigating the many smaller, newer, some would say “fringe” religions and sects. Those would, at least mathematically, provide a larger group of non-believers to persecute.

What is the terrible tribulation from which this faith sprang?

Where is the history of being persecuted and persecution?

Where is the history of violence?

Where is bloodshed?

… the countless thousands of senseless deaths of unbelievers?

But apparently this is part of what sets Pastafarianism apart, and I seen it as a weakness in the claim that the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has true “religion” status.

I was about to move on to the Moonies, but then I had another thought (yes two in one day, I must have been trulu inspired)…

It’s a young religion; those days are yet to come.

Then inspiration!

Maybe I have come here for some predetermined purpose. Perhaps to help write that history. To help take Pastafariaqnism to the next logical step. To give the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster the psychological weight of bloodshed and murder to it’s C.V.

A purpose! (Joy!)

Now I am kind of squeamish about actual blood and guts and stuff like that. I’m more of an ideas person, preferring to leave the actual doing to others, but I do need a little more specific inspiration. Tell me of how it will all conclude. Surely there will someday come a tumultuous battle between the forces of good and evil, a final great conflagration, a great battle of Parmesan.

P.s. is it a safe assumption that martyrs will be rewarded in the afterlife with jobs as quality control inspectors at the stripper factory?

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Hey Bobby, can you make a new version of the book? A real bible/gospel looking text would be awesome.

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I agree that a real bible-looking text (instead of a flimsy paperback with a picture of a bible on the cover) would be awesome. I think that if there was enough interest, they might put one out. I’ll see what I can do.

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Bobby, I’d totally buy a bible-looking version of The Gospel. No questions asked. Put a section on the site, and give a general price amount, and take a poll. I’m sure you’ll find there’s MORE than enough interest.

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Bobby,

As a devout pastafarian I have to challenge you on this:

“Religion, itself, isn’t bad. But it isn’t necessarily good, either. There are plenty of good Christians (and Muslims, and Buddhists, and Hindus), and plenty of bad ones.”

One cannot be a “good” Christian because:

1) If one is a “good Christian” because one is particulary adherent to the Bible, one would be murdering everyone who worked on Sundays, torturing, raping, etc. as Christian God instructs.

2) If one is a “good Christian” because one takes a very liberal interpretation of the Bible and is generally an OK person, one is living a total contradiction by not standing up for what their Bible says, and one is also fostering a culture where it is taboo to question religion.

There is nothing good about religion – positive morals/values can be found through reason and are more compelling that way.

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Bobby- first of all, love the church, religion, website. It rocks! I have been converted. Could you please tell me if the Kansas School board is still keeping up this farce? i don’t want to send angry letters if they realized thier mistake. And whose the 4th minority person?I only saw three reply letters. I won’t pester the people on our side. I plan to put up posters in my school and hand out pamphlets, as soon as the office lets me. I am an avid pursuer of the sciences, and fully hate ID. Please reply, but I’ll understand if you don’t have time.Keep up the good work and Raamen!

Anna
P.S.- This Sept, 19th is national talk like a pirate day, in case you didn’t know

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Arrrr..
Telling folks at work about national talk like a pirate day (which we’ve been observing for years) is how we found FSM :)
I’m checking at my B&N store for the gospel today, I imagine I’ll end up having to order it.

I just came across a giggle. I now have a religious reason for continuing my low-carb lifestyle!!!!! I can curb my carbs out of respect for our starch-based deity ;) That’ll add a great opportunity for spreading the word, as people ask me about my diet all the time.

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how do u know god isnt a giant beer bottle

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Why did the beacon of Pastafarianism move to Arizona? Doesn’t FSM get all hard and brittle in that arid climate? That’s why no pirates, signs of life, or decent football teams have ever been found there.

Come back to Oregon, and continue receiving enlightenment from FSM when he is saturated and dripping it everywhere.

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You might want to emphasize the issue of ID (intelligent design) being considered in science classes. It is not an issue of the ideas presented by ID, it is in the authoritative stance of the idea-presenters and their relation to the rest of society. It’s not god or the spaghetti monster – it’s about fundamentalism vs empiricism. My suggestion (based upon the hate mail) is that you make that clear in some way on the site, to reduce philisophical banter on the issue.

i apologize for my unclear phrasings- if you have any questions feel free to email me back.

i really love what you did here by the way

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Does the Flying Spaghetti Monster play dice with the universe? and if so, is that game of craps happen near the beer volcano or the stripper factory?

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Its great that someone avtually came up with an Intelligent design theory that alows its followers to think about the religon they are following and not what the religon thinks they should be thinking.

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Chris, you are obviously well educated on Christian beliefs, being that you wrote absolutely nothing true about Christian beliefs in your blog. You did, however, account for Judaic, pre-Christian beliefs. Good job…

Bobby, your site is amusing, and I can agree that ID does not belong in science classes. However, I also believe that Evolution does not belong in science classes for much the same reason. Let’s stick to chemistry, physics and biology based on the scientific theory.

Good luck with the site.

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As a devoted pyrate, a long time have we been vexed upon by the “official” navies of the world and thought of as moderatly lax in our morals. Although most of we pirates know that we’ve been “touched by gods,” recognizing the height-discouraging push of HIS appendage has been a graceful brush by a quite-saucy god.

We at The Pyrates Way try to do our part in passing on the word next issue (Winter) when we print interviews of Pastafarians and show pirates on this earth that they can come out of the seachest and expose their slops for all to see.

If you are interested in helping us bring the world temperature down while giving rise to the pirate population, please join us at http://www.pyratesway.com.

Yours with a side-salad, rich in Italian dressing,

Steve “The Black Fox” Kimball
Publisher, The Pyrates Way

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I think Talk Like A Pirate Day should be secondary holiday. So when is the offical day to celebrate the Flying Spagetti Monster? If there isn’t already a set date, I’d like to suggest the date of the original letter.
Thanks!
Keebler

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I totally beleive in the flying spaghetti monster, but he totally messed up on the design of the human body. Why else would he put man’s balls in such an easy place to kick, rather than encasing them in bone for protection like our brains? Thus, proof of hte FSM!!!!

Preventerwind

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i almost forgot FUCK THIS SO CALLED SPEGETTI MONSTER. I hope that every single one of you can find faith in Jesus.

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If a Pastafarian bible has no spelling or grammar mistakes whatsoever and doesn’t contradict itself, it’s a whole lot better than the bible.
I actually have a question to ask to the Almighty One, namely: Why is it mandatory in American Court to swear upon a fictional book, sometimes refered to as the bible, while the country in question has a law on the separation between church and state?
If you could respond to aid me in my search for understanding, I will be eternally greatful to the Flying Spaghetti Monster and spread his word.

A(n almost) faithful believer

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“Why is it mandatory in American Court to swear upon a fictional book, sometimes refered to as the bible, while the country in question has a law on the separation between church and state?”
I totally agree with you on this one, elmon. But consider that the church and the state aren’t really separate in the United States (George W. Bush Jr., anyone? The Religious Right?)
For a totally satirised view of the Bush Administration, check out: http://www.whitehouse.org (by the almighty FSM it’s hilarious!). This is a bit off topic, I know, but I’m sure the Flying Spaghetti Monster will forgive me. (Note: SPAGHETTI, not SPEGETTI (where did you learn to spell, zach? And by the way, what a very witty retort:
“i almost forgot FUCK THIS SO CALLED SPEGETTI MONSTER. I hope that every single one of you can find faith in Jesus.”
Nice to see studing the Bible has given you such an intimate understanding of the English language and it’s intricacies (like capital letters and punctuation) And it’s FLYING Spaghetti Monster).

All praise our Noodly lord and master!!!

P.S. Am I allowed to revere Foamy the Squirrel as my secular lord, or will this bring our beloved FSM’s wrath down upon me? (If so, I can change!)

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How did a link to this get on my myspace in the book section, and an add you to friends request at the top of my profile? WTF.

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“i almost forgot FUCK THIS SO CALLED SPEGETTI MONSTER. I hope that every single one of you can find faith in Jesus.”

Thank you Zach. You have completely convinced me that everyone should convert to Christianity…

May He forgive me even mentioning such words of blasphemy (even if it is rather sarcastic). Please allow me to be touched by your noodly appendage!

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Just wondering here, is it possible that Great Sleeping Cthulhu and The Flying Spaghetti Monster are really one and the same and Mr Lovecraft just wasn’t wearing his glasses when he was inspired?

I’d like to think so, it’d help combine my vast love of The FSM who created us all and Sleeping Cthulhu who will inevitably realize his mistake and squish us later. :D Squishy parts!!

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I think you’ll appreciate the shirt that I wore on September 16, 2006, for the Northshore Inline Marathon up in Duluth, MN.

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v249/Mock26/FSMDuluth.jpg[/IMG]

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v249/Mock26/?action=view&current=FSMDuluth.jpg&refPage=&imgAnch=imgAnch1

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Thank you for proving that closed-mindedness and collective ignorance is still alive and well in today’s society.

P.S.
My girlfriend has converted to pastafarianism thanks to you. Rock on!

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My friend showed me the book and I read the website and all I can say is….ITS IN-FREAKING-CREDIBLE, I love it, I made a Myspace Group of it and I’m looking for all of my friends and theirs and so on and so forth to join, to read, and to help, this stuff is Hilarious and should be taught in all Science Classes, even if its just for the Hell of it . Wea re all currently writing to the board of education in every Distric of Florida, New York, Texas, and even Puerto Rico.

Ruben A. Sola
P.S.= May the Flying Spaghetti Monster touch you with His Noodle Appendage.
Ramen

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Bobby, the only thing to keep in mind with the Bible-looking text is that since all the major Holy books are compilations, the FSM Holy book should probably be a compilation as well. Perhaps have verses dedicated to scientists, school teachers, and the infamous Kansas School Board… or at least the ones who voted against ID in the science class.

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Will any of this be funny when we are all 90 yrs old with a few years left to live? How funny will things be then?

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Death–very funny, I should think. Provided we’re sane enough at 90 to remember the whole thing in the first place.

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I would really like to understand where your coming from and while, to you this is no joke, to me it sure seems that way, but if you could explain your religion to me i would really apprecite a better understanding of it because from my current perspective thier sure does seem to be some serious logical fallacies in the whole thing.

sincerely

geo

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Geo,
The board is self explanatory really. Most of the people on this board are of a sceptical opinion. While no one puts down the right to faith, we do not feel that any person of a religious bent has the right to grievously inflict it on anyone. Enter the Kansas City school board, who wish to teach intelligent design as a science in direct opposition to the THEORY of evolution. As there is no basis in fact for ID to be taught as a science and is entirely based on faith, blind faith at that, Bobby Henderson told the Kansas school board about the FSM again an entity based entirely on faith and he also proved using faith based articles that as global warming increased that Pirates decreased, however I digress, Bobby stated quite rightly that as the FSM was based on “facts” in line with ID that it should be taught in school also. This has made Christians the world over in turn angry and perplexed.

They have shown all the facets of Christianity, with a few exceptions, by damming everyone and promising all sorts of dire punishments from their kind and loving god, thereby showing a basic lack of understanding of their own religion and lining themselves up roughly to the right of Muslim fundamentalists.

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“Bobby, your site is amusing, and I can agree that ID does not belong in science classes. However, I also believe that Evolution does not belong in science classes for much the same reason. Let’s stick to chemistry, physics and biology based on the scientific theory.”

I think you meant scientific method, not scientific theory. But that is sort of the point. Evolution IS a biology theory based on the scientific method. Intelligent Design, on the other hand, is not. Therefore ID has no place in science class, and even though a school board can change the definition of ’science’ in their district in order to allow the supernatural to be taught if they want, it does not change what science actually is. It just makes the rest of the world laugh at them for being ignorant fools who obvioulsy failed science class when they were in school.

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Can I be a pastafarian, if I dont wear pirate clothes?

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My comment is in response to Dave:

“Dave
Sep 19th, 2006 at 11:10 pm
Bobby, your site is amusing, and I can agree that ID does not belong in science
classes. However, I also believe that Evolution does not belong in science classes
for much the same reason. Let’s stick to chemistry, physics and biology based
on the scientific theory.”

I think you may be confused on the definition of a theory. A bunch of statements proposing an explanation for some occurance (a hypothesis, if you will) without any evidence to back it up is just a possible explanation. For something to be a theory, it must be supported by evidence.

Evolution is indeed a theory with evidence behind it:
- there are fossil records that change progressively through geological layers
- changes have been created in domestic plants and animals through selective breeding (evolution in action!)
- molecular and physical similarities among living species (including genetic)
- molecular timelines constructed using error rates of mitochondrial DNA
- recent observations of species evolving in the wild (smaller mammals and invertebrates)

I believe that evolution should be taught in science classes. Although the theory may not be perfect at this point, most science taught in schools is only the best theory available at the moment and (most) will change as science progresses. In order for the “chemistry, physics and biology based on the scientific theory” you believe should be taught to flourish as discliplines, people have to learn the (sometimes incorrect) theories so they can test and improve them.

ps. evolution is biology (and chemistry)

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I saw the last 10 minutes of an English Comedy featuring computer nerds who have a ‘rough’ drawing on a pin up board of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. See link to web page.

http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/tv/microsites/I/itcrowd

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The source of “RAmen”
In the beginning, when He descended upon the universe as we know it, He began to create that which He deemed well and good. After He created the trees, the mountians, and the midgits, He decided in his Semolinian goodness to allow the midgits to reproduce. WHen they bore forth many offspring (known as Primavarians), the number if prayer requests began to outnumber the Noodly Appendages He had. SO He created Emmisaries in his image. To the far east of the earth, he created the Underwater Rice Ball. The Rice Ball grew underwater in an area that became know to all as the Patties, an obvious translation of Pasta in the Asian toungues. In the asian people’s early attempt to purify their souls, a sect created believed in their hearts that the life blood of their religion, the red sauce of their souls, was to be found in another creation of His Noodleness, the Ramen Fairies. These fairies, they believed, were so numerous (in order to be accessible to the growin number of asian peoples), that they were to become packaged in $0.12 packages, and flavored in a myriad of styles. When later the Supreme leader of Fork-Twirling masses, the Holy leader of all that is Alfredo, the FSM revealed Himself as the fairies themselves, the sect had a change of heart. They saw the error of their ways and began again to worship the FSM throught His emmisary, The Underwater Rice Ball. To this day, Pastafarians world wide show their surrneder from other false religions by adding a “RAmen” to end of their prayers.

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fafnjdskalfdnasjkga

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^ the new language of the almighty noodle

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Is it whole wheat spaghetti, or the usual “white” spaghetti? Or maybe the red or green kind you see sometimes? I am trying to worship at home and I don’t want to get the ritual wrong. It could be very dangerous.

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it doesnt really matter, as our noodley guide is a benevolent creature. however, if this is not enough for you, try the picture of the FSM up the top of the website for inspiration :p

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You make me really angry making fun of God like that.I know that the Christian story is false,but ya’ll anger me alot putting a Spehgetti Monster where God connected with man.How dare you do that.I ain’t religious nor do i understand the divine God at all.I just say that ya’ll are making a mockery of something no one can’t understand.Prayer is n’t necesary,nor is prayer,but this is one of the worst things to any relgioion or any person to do is make God look this way especially when no opne understands the being not even i do,but why put an image in front of something who we are not worthy call anything at all and we aren’t meant to pray,man tuaght us that which was good in some cases,but why get us worrying over stuff we don’t even understand.Men and women are here to live,have sex,enjoy life,fulfill their destinys and die or maybe not just depending on how healthy they are and can they live and not die.We all are given a choice in life to do right or messup it’s all up to us humans to research and not go ahead and sya this and that when we indeed don’t know God personally and say we did it’s wrong to say false stuff and not indeed know beings.I am not in any religion and never will be espeically this false religion claiming to be true come on.Ya’ll are a joke.Give me a break.Christianity isn’t real and saying this stuff will just get people mad why don’t ya’ll send the right message so people will understand what’s right from wrong instead of misleading many.

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Jray – y’all wanna git yersel back n’ git some skoolin, ‘fore ya start tryin’ ritin like ‘em smart folks.

We be talkin’ like pirates, not Wild West frontier gibberish.

Arrr.

Pete Yellowbeard

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wow… “Prayer is n’t necesary,nor is prayer…”
couldnt agree more, nor could I agree more

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FSM was mentioned by Richard Dawkins (Ph.D.)when he was interview by Jeremy Paxman on Newsnight Book Club (BBC, 22SEP06)about his book The God Delusion.

Paxman: I was struck by one sentence in your book, in the middle of it, “God almost certainly does not exist”. You are leaving open the possibility that he does.

Dawkins: Of course, any scientist will leave open that possibility. You can’t absolutely disprove the existance of anything. Just as we can’t disprove the existance of Bobby Henderson’s The Flying Speghetti Monster. We can’t be dogmatic and say for for certain God doesn’t exist, but it is just as unlikely as Thor with his hammer.

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Christianity is bunk because it can produce no better evidence than Pastafarianism. This claim might seem to need to be substantiated by a comparison of the evidence presented in favour of each. However, it doesn’t.

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For my part, my Christian beliefs are almost entirely based on the eyewitness testimony of Paul the apostle. Why do I believe him? Well, for one thing – and it’s only one of my reasons – he seems sincere. And that’s something I can’t say about Pastafarians; they most certainly do not seem sincere. I know you won’t like that kind of evidence – eyewitness testimony I mean – because it demands a subjective judgment and is not easily amenable to scientific investigation. You can’t quantify sincerity. But we do make many important decisions based on this kind of evidence – whether to buy a certain product, who to vote for and who to trust. Members of a jury make life and death decisions based on such evidence. So it’s a kind of evidence we have to take seriously. Furthermore, the fact that Paul was killed because of the things he claimed to have seen seems to at least rule out the possibility that he was joking. So that’s some supporting evidence, again of a kind that Pastafarianism doesn’t have.

So I really can’t identify with people who see faith and evidence as opposites. For me, faith is not about believing something in the absence of evidence. Rather, it’s the judgment you make about the evidence you do have. It’s the risk you take after you’ve considered that evidence.

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For my part, my Christian beliefs are almost entirely based on the eyewitness testimony of Paul the apostle. Why do I believe him? Well, for one thing – and it’s only one of my reasons – he seems sincere. And that’s something I can’t say about Pastafarians; they most certainly do not seem sincere. I know you won’t like that kind of evidence – eyewitness testimony I mean – because it demands a subjective judgment and is not easily amenable to scientific investigation. You can’t quantify sincerity. But we do make many important decisions based on this kind of evidence – whether to buy a certain product, who to vote for and who to trust. Members of a jury make life and death decisions based on such evidence. So it’s a kind of evidence we have to take seriously. Furthermore, the fact that Paul was killed because of the things he claimed to have seen seems to at least rule out the possibility that he was joking. So that’s some supporting evidence, again of a kind that Pastafarianism doesn’t have.

So I really can’t identify with people who see faith and evidence as opposites. For me, faith is not about believing something in the absence of evidence. Rather, it’s the judgment you make about the evidence you do have. It’s the risk you take after you’ve considered that evidence.

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Christian, I am very sincere. I believe in an omnipotent, onmiscient pasta-dish Deity with all my heart. At least I can say this: I believe it more than I ever have believed the creation myth of the Christians. Really. You can say I’m whacked-out if you must, but please don’t doubt my sincerity. I have finally found a place where others think as I do, as I have for all my life, and I’m happy to place my faith in His Noodliness.
RAmen.

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OK, do you think that if I convert that my union will accept the fact that it is a religon that does not believe in Union dues? If so, I’m there, because unless I can find a religon that doesn’t allow union dues to be taken out of my check then I have to keep paying them no matter how rotten the representation is. This could work….

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hey, im wondering… why do they make you swear, on the bible, to tell the truth, the whole truth, etc, on the bible?
what if you are atheist? isnt that just an incentive to lie? and if you believe in our noodely creator?
.
im not promoting perjury, but it makes you think…

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I have been thinking that your religion matches my belief system better than other religions I have tun into, but still have some lingering questions.
1. What is the official church position on sauce? Do you allow pesto?
2. How do you feel about whole wheat pasta, and is there a rice noodle sect in South East Asia.

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@A Christian : Paul was not an apostle, at least he was not one of the 12 who, according to the Bible, walked with Jesus of Nazareth. He came on the scene after the crucifixion as Saul of Tarsus (Acts 7:58), a persecutor of the apostles, and was converted on the road to Damascus (Acts 9:3). Therefore, he was not an “eyewitness”. The New Testament does not record his death, though Christian _tradition_ holds that he was beheaded by Nero. There is no historical evidence for this, however, neither is there evidence that he died for his beliefs. He argued with the other apostles (notably Peter – the “Incident at Antioch”) and boasted to the Galatians that he had received no teaching from them but that his ‘knowledge’ came directly from God. Jim Jones said much the same, and I’m sure Adolf Hitler was also sincere. READ your bible, if you believe in it – don’t just parrot your pastor.

@ The Aussie : Under New Zealand law (I can’t speak for other jurisdictions), you can swear an oath or make an affirmation without religious props when called upon. It’s the law that compels the truth, not the oath – that’s just a signal that you accept that your actions and words will be measured by a stronger means than in everyday life.

May you all be touched by His Noodly Appendage. Arrrrrrr!!

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Dear djjack,

Thanks for your comment. I won’t try to argue that you’re not sincere and Paul was, because that’s a subjective judgment I’ve made based on unquantifiable things like tone and motive. It’s a rational judgment all the same, of a kind that we’ve all made at one time or another.

There’s a risk involved in believing eyewitness testimony, I acknowledge that. But we have to make these kind of judgments – as consumers, as voters, as jurors and in religion.

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cannibilly sent me here, and i think he is on crack!

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Dear nzlemming,

Thanks also for your comments. Paul called himself ‘the least of the apostles’ in 1 Cor 15:9, although he adds that he doesn’t deserve to be called an apostle because he persecuted the church. I don’t want to quarrel about this point, as I’m only referring to him as an apostle so that you know which Paul I mean. I’ll call him Paul of Tarsus, or just Paul, if you prefer.

I also acknowledge that I can’t prove Paul was beheaded by Nero. There’s subjective judgment involved there too. I would count church tradition as historical evidence. There’s also plenty of non-Christian evidence that Nero did persecute and kill Christians, so it’s not implausible that Paul was one of them.

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@ Christian
The significant thing is that we only have Paul’s word for all of this. As he wasn’t present during the life of Jesus (according to the Gospels, and I think they would have mentioned it, if he was even the ‘least of the apostles’), that is not “eyewitness testimony” i.e. he NEVER spoke to Jesus the man during his lifetime. It may well be ‘faith-based testimony’, but that just means you believe it because you want to believe it, not because it is worthy of belief.

You wouldn’t take a salesman’s word for the attributes of a car you want to buy, yet you would hand over your soul because someone sounded sincere?

As to the plausibility argument – I fear logic will have no impact on you so I’ll leave you to your beliefs.

Good luck to you and may His Noodly Appendages wave over you

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Dear nzlemming,

Paul claimed to have met Jesus after the ressurection – that’s the eyewitness testimony I was referring to. As you say, we only have his word for it, but that’s a common characteristic of eyewitness testimony. It doesn’t mean that you can’t trust an eyewitness.
I have bought cars in the past. It was a risk, and my judgment about the sincerity of the salesman was a factor in my decision to take that risk.
You seem to think that I’m advocating you should believe anyone who sounds sincere. I’m not. I’m saying that a judgment about their sincerity is a factor in deciding whether to believe them.
As to whether logic would have any impact on me – I believe that it would. Is it so illogical to trust another human being?

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Oops, mixed up my pseudonyms.

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Okay, does anyone, I mean anyone see that the ‘christian’s’ argument is ALWAYS the same? ‘Well, I can only say that this is what I choose to believe, or what I think might have most probably likely happened when these things were or weren’t recorded based on some random writer’s testimony that has no definite….blahblahblahblah’ I’m paraphrasing, surely, but you get my point. Oh, by the way (no, not ‘by jesus’) I like the Flying Spaghetti Monster religion better…so I choose to believe that one over christianity…so far there haven’t been any brutal or life stealing wars based on their beliefs, or slavery for that matter. What is it, ‘may he noodly appendage touch you’? BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Mear

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Dear Ryan Mear,
I do choose to believe, but that choice wasn’t made without some evidence. I also believe what I think most probably happened. Is that wrong?
I’m used to hearing people say that Christians aren’t interested in evidence. It doesn’t offend me, but it would be nice if people acknowledged that eyewitness testimony counts as evidence. I wouldn’t have thought that was controversial, in fact.

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Is it such a strange thing that I’m saying here? We all regularly make decisions about who to trust and who not to trust. And we typically have only limited evidence to guide us in making those decisions. The evidence may influence our decisions, but there’s still a risk, a choice. If that’s irrational, then we’re all irrational.

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I’m just curious,is FSM an actual religion.sorry but i thought it was just a joke.maybe thats what i get for doing something i’m not used to doing.

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Jimmy, it all depends on how you define religion. The American Heritage Dictionary defines religion as: re·li·gion (r-ljn) n.
1. Belief in and reverence for a supernatural power or powers regarded as creator and governor of the universe.
2. A personal or institutionalized system grounded in such belief and worship.
3. The life or condition of a person in a religious order.
4. A set of beliefs, values, and practices based on the teachings of a spiritual leader.
5. A cause, principle, or activity pursued with zeal or conscientious devotion.

I suppose by this definition, yes, it is a real religion. That is exactly the point of the Church of the FSM. It doesn’t matter that others find it difficult to believe. All that matters is what we believe.

As an aside, I really like the pronounciation key for religion: r-ljn. Maybe I’ll put it on my license plate when I have to register my car next time. Although, people might think I’m a religious crackpot.

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It’s claimed on this site that the evidence for Christianity is no better than the evidence for Pastafarianism. But does that claim stand up to a comparison of the evidence for each? The early Christians could point to two facts that their contemporaries could not deny, and could check for themselves. One was that Jesus had been publically executed. Another was that the tomb where his body had been placed was empty. Does Pastafarianism have any evidence comparable to this?

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You’re mostly missing the point, as this website (and religion) was created to prove how UNprovable any religion was. You can’t take religion A and prove that it’s realer then religion B because you can’t prove that a faith is right or wrong. (hence the word ‘faith’)

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I’m confused where can i find the teachings?? i have know clue what the teachings of this religion are.

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This is all very amusing.

I am sure that you and I have all been smiled upon and touched by His noodley appendage for realizing that it really doesn’t matter what shape or form He takes, His teachings are still the same.

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Dear gill,

I don’t think I am missing the point. I agree that you can’t prove any religion. But I dispute the claim that faith is formed in the absence of evidence. I also dispute the claim that the evidence for Christianity is no better than the evidence for Pastafarianism. I don’t see how such claims can be substantiated without actually examining the evidence. Let’s get the evidence on the table, and then decide whether the evidence for one is better than the evidence for the other.

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Right you go first wheres your evidence for God, remember no anecdotal or written anecdotal evidence is allowed.

Off you go.

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Hi,

is there a directory of european FSM communities? I’d really like to organize a pastafari somwhere at a university or something, but not alone…

Moritz

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I don’t know if anyone’s been following my posts, but if you have I’ve started discussing these issues under the Richard Dawkins post.
Cheers

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I think it will help us all find inner peace and common understanding if we share a silent prayer. Jray .. try to read this without moving your lips. I’ve added notes so it’s all proper and intellectual and not just made up or nuffin’ and actually the word of the FSM himself. Possibly.

Our Noodleness, who art in Heavenly sauce
Harrow is in Essex (0)
Thy Kingdom come (1)
You will be done (2)
And served on earthenware or bone china.
Give us this day our daily breadstick (3)
Forgive us our trespasses (4)
As we keel-haul those who trespass against us (5)
Lead us not into temptation (6)
But deliver us from vile (7)
For thine is the wine
The beer and the grubby (8)
For ever and ever (9)
Etc

(0) empirically irrefutable. One-Nil to the Pastafarians.
(1) pretty soon, actually, if all the other religions keeping flinging rockets at each other
(2) after 7 minutes, regular gas, slightly al dente
(3) ooo .. have you got any olives? But not those ones with the bit of red stuff in the middle .. yech!
(4) hang on .. we’re pirates .. we’re supposed to trespass
(5) Yarrrr!
(6) oh, go on then!
(7) sic
(8) strippers!! Yay!
(9) except Holy Fridays, Duvet Days, and early closing on Wednesday for staff training

That’s better. I was worried that all the chat and no worship was going to bring down wrath and smiting and whatnot. Truly we have been blessed. Ok .. back to testifying the crap out of each other.

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” he seems sincere. And that’s something I can’t say about Pastafarians; they most certainly do not seem sincere.”

Why should we be sincere to others not sincere to us? You follow examples set not reset set examples. It’s just how things work, it’s like the whole basis of why “Treat others how you want to be treated” doesn’t work, Your cruel to someone else there either to apathetic to care or are cruel back. I am a very sincere person if you get to know me, but if the jack ass uneducated “Christians” are going to send hate mail about something that can be just as well true if not more true then there supposed god then why should I be nice and sincere about it? Just think about that. RAmen.

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@ Christian–So, out of curiosity….what evidence do you have, anyways? (The bible doesn’t count, as that’d just start off a whole ‘nother debate over whether the bible was correct or not.)

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Dear gill,
The Bible is the main evidence for Christianity, or at any rate it’s the main evidence that has influenced my Christian beliefs. I don’t mind if that starts another debate. There are two passages that have been particularly influential on me: Gal 1:11-24 and 1 Cor 15:3-8. Both of these contain first-hand eyewitness testimony by St. Paul, and in them he claims to have personally met the resurrected Jesus and received his gospel and commision directly from him. If Paul is not telling the truth, he’s either lying or delusional. I don’t find either of the latter two explanations plausible, given judgments I’ve made about his integrity, intelligence and sanity. The 1 Cor passage also contains a list of the other eyewitnesses to the resurrection, most of whom were still alive at the time he was writing, and thus able to be consulted for confirmation.
.
There is also some evidence from non-Christian sources that corroborates some details of the gospels. I’ve given one example under the Richard Dawkin’s post. Then there’s the empty tomb, which indicates that Jesus either rose from the dead or else the disciples stole and concealed his body. Again the latter explanation is inconsistent with judgments I’ve made about their characters. There’s the fact that James – the brother of Jesus – was one of the early Christian leaders in Jerusalem. This fact is corroborated by non-Christian sources. How does a man become convinced that his brother is the Son of God? Again I don’t find it plausible that James was lying. There’s the fact that so many of the early Christians were willing to die for their beliefs in Nero’s purge in AD 64. People today are willing to die for their faith, but usually with whole societies and 1000’s of years of history lending strength to their convictions. These were first generation Christians. What gave them such strong convictions?
.
Finally, there are some other reasons that have influenced me to believe in God, though not necessarily the Christian God. But what I’ve already said is more than enough to start half a dozen discussions, so I’ll stop here.

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“If Paul is not telling the truth, he’s either lying or delusional. I don’t find either of the latter two explanations plausible, given judgments I’ve made about his integrity, intelligence and sanity.”
.
Oh? And how did you make those judgements? Did you know Paul personally?

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So you proof is abig a big empty roon with no Jesus inside? Seems dumb to me. There rooms in my house that dont contain Mr T dose that make him a god?(obvioslys notlet me be touched by his noodley apedege.

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@ Christian–
Interesting. Problem is, you take the bible as evidence–which is fine–while others, myself included, don’t. As for the empty tomb thing, I was debating that in some other thread before…..not saying it happened for sure, but I could easily some tomb rader bursting in. They ransacked the pyrimades, after all. I think what I’m trying to say is that in the end, evidence for religion is in the eye of the beholder, depending on what one is or isn’t willing to accept.

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To nyx,
My judgments about Paul’s character are based on the content of his letters and on the accounts of his life in the book of Acts. For one thing, he stood to gain nothing from his preaching. In 2 Cor 11:23-33 he describes some of the extreme suffering he endured for the sake of the gospel. In 1 Cor 9:11-18 he points out that he always preached the gospel free of charge. (I’ve provided web addresses for these passages at the end of this mail.) It’s difficult to believe he would do this for the sake of a lie he had made up himself, and later be put to death for this lie.
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2 Cor 11:23-33
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Cor%2011:23-33;&version=31;
.
1 Cor 9:11-18
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Cor%209:11-18;&version=31;

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Dear gill,
I wonder if I could convince you to take the bible as evidence. Perhaps I could point out that historians consider it as such. Much of the evidence that forms the source material of History is in the form of written documents. Admitting that the bible constitutes evidence doesn’t mean that you read it uncritically. Historians make judgments about written documents, including the bible, taking into consideration the probable biases and motives of the authors.
.
For example, the Wikipedia article on Paul (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_of_Tarsus) is a balanced summary of numerous perspectives on Paul. It confirms that historians take Paul at his word at numerous points. It also confirms historians are generally agreed that Paul was probably beheaded during Nero’s persecution, and that his claims in Gal 1:11-24 and 1 Cor 15:3-8 are almost certainly genuine first-hand eyewitness testimony. If you’re interested, you can inspect these passages at:
.
Gal 1:11-24
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Gal%201:11-24;&version=31;
.
1 Cor 15:3-8
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Cor%2015:3-8&version=31

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Found this on the net and thought it might amuse fellow pastafarians

Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality, who dispenses advice to people who call in to her Radio show. On her radio show recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination, according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any
circumstance.

The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s very thought-provoking and funny (#7 & #9).

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination…End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness -Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.
Your adoring fan,

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The Holy Bible? $6.99.
/
Internet access? $20/month.
/
Throwing thier own words back in their sanctimonious faces? Priceless.
/
For everything else there’s Mastercard.

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Christian– “historians consider it as such”–do they really? So, the Great Flood with Noah is considered true because the bible says it is (’gives evidence to the claim’)? The ‘fact’ that the world was created in 7 days is concidered true now, because of the evidence given by the bible? The bible is as hard to prove as god him/her/itself. Yes, certain thing have been more or less proven–that a guy named Jesus walked around a few thousand years ago, that the Romans killed him, so on so forth….I’m sure Paul really did get his head chopped off, like you said.
-
But a LOT of the stuff in there is not considered evidence and probably never will be.(after all, if the entire bible was evidence, then wouldn’t the entire world have to accept in Jesus as the son of god?) The bible is not considered evidence when it comes to Jesus rising from the dead, right? (meaning, some people BELIEVE it’s evidence, but others believe it’s a nice fairy tale and don’t think it’s evidence at all.) Also, jsyk, I take anything I read off wiki with a grain of salt, as anyone with two brain cells and a keyboard can change/post whatever they want up there.
-
Nice try tho. I’m just very anti-believing-in-a-book-written-a-kabillion-years-before-I-was-born-that-tells-me-I’m-off-to-hell-for-not-believing-in-said-book. ^^

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Dear gill,
It’s not a controversial statement to say that historians consider the bible as evidence. The NT is the primary source of evidence regarding first century Christian belief and practice, and the OT is an important source regarding ancient Hebrew belief and practice. This does not mean that historians accept every claim in the bible uncritically, merely that they take it into account in forming their judgments. For example, an overwhelming majority of historians accept that Paul wrote certain key letters attributed to him, that they can be dated to about 50-60 AD, that a fairly accurate reconstruction of his travels after his conversion can be made based on his letters and the book of Acts, that he preached the ressurection of Jesus, and so on. I’m saying that Paul’s letters, and Acts to a lesser extent, are the evidence on which I base my judgments about his character, and thus my decision to trust his eyewitness testimony.
.
You mentioned Noah’s flood – can I just seize the opportunity to point out that I, and many other Christians and Jews, believe this story was never intended to be read as history. It’s a fictional narrative written to make a range of theological points. Perhaps a good modern parallel for this kind of literature would be the Narnia Chronicles of CS Lewis.

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Folks might be interested in this quote from St Augustine (AD 354-430). I have it from an online essay at:
http://www.asa3.org/ASA/topics/Bible-Science/PSCF3-88Young.html
.
“Usually, even a non-Christian knows something about the earth, the heavens, and the other elements of this world, about the motion and orbit of the stars and even their size and relative positions, about the predictable eclipses of the sun and moon, the cycles of the years and seasons, about the kinds of animals, shrubs, stones, and so forth, and this knowledge he holds to as being certain from reason and experience. Now, it is a disgraceful and dangerous thing for an infidel to hear a Christian, presumably giving the meaning of Holy Scripture, talking nonsense on these topics; and we should take all means to prevent such an embarrassing situation, in which people show up vast ignorance in a Christian and laugh it to scorn. The shame is not so much that an ignorant individual is derided, but that people outside the household of the faith think our sacred writers held such opinions, and, to the great loss of those for whose salvation we toil, the writers of our Scripture are criticized and rejected as unlearned men…. Reckless and incompetent expounders of Holy Scripture bring untold trouble and sorrow on their wiser brethren when they are caught in one of their mischievous false opinions and are taken to task by these who are not bound by the authority of our sacred books. For then, to defend their utterly foolish and obviously untrue statements, they will try to call upon Holy Scripture for proof and even recite from memory many passages which they think support their position, although they understand neither what they say nor the things about which they make assertion.”

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@ Christian–Oh, don’t get me wrong, there are many things in the bible that can, as you said, be proven; I’m not about to argue that. And as for the Noah’s flood thing, I’ll just say that while I also agree there, I’m far more used on this site to coming across people who take it literally, so I assmued. My bad.

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I love it when bible-thumpers agrue that the Bible contains provable historical events. Of course it does.
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If we are going to say that a few facts validate the entire book, then I have to ask… why are you not muslim? The Koran (Qur’an) also contains verifiable historical facts. Muhammad and his sons were real people.
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You are not muslim because you were born into a christian family. Funny how salvation is hereditary.
/
Thumper One to Mission Control … come in mission control! … we’ve lost power … faith engines failing … we’re going down ….. ssccrkkkkkkttttt!… Mission Control to Thumper One … switch to auxilary power … ignore reality … deny … deny … deny …!
/
May His Noodly Appendage bless and keep you. RAmen.

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Yea, but Muhammad and his sons are in a graves somewhere in the Middle East. But Lord Jesus is sitting at the right hand of God Almighty…that is the difference. The resurrection is why he is God and his death even allows for you (a sinner) to be reconciled to God. The word Christian is a religion, being saved by Jesus is not a religion. Being saved by Jesus is Grace through Faith unto Good Works. Never put your trust in men, because you will be let down every time. Good works of men will not get you to the resurrection. There is ONLY One-Way to get to Heaven and that is by acknowledging with your mouth that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, died on the Cross for your Sins, rose from the dead and now sits at the right hand of God Almighty and believing this with your heart. Once you realize that following Christian religions will not get you there the better off you will be. That’s what I like, all the experts talking about the Word of God and they have never even read it, but they can sure comment on it. I pray the Holy Spirit brings the Word of Truth to your hearts for all that see this message.

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OneCrying, my husband, who is sitting next to me reading your post, wants me to say he thinks you’re a “friggin’ whacko.” He also wants you to know that’s he’s a recovering Catholic. I guess he isn’t typing it because he isn’t a fully-converted Pastafarian. He think’s I’m nuts too, by the way, for reading these posts all the time. I don’t believe what you say, and it frightens me that people out there believe the fundamentalist propaganda. That’s what you’re spouting, it seems to me. Not only do I not realize that following Christian religions per se will not get me into heaven, but I also emphatically will not acknowledge Jesus Christ as my Savior. How dare you insist that what you believe is right for me also. Word of Truth? I’ve got your word right here, baby.

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“That’s what I like, all the experts talking about the Word of God and they have never even read it, but they can sure comment on it.”—Is that not what you’re doing? Has it ever crossed your mind that some of us would rather trust in our own god/ess(s) rather then have faith in something that means nothing to us? As SaucyWench said, I’ll never accept Christ in my savior, nor any religon that shuts people out because of what/who they prey to. Sorry to burst your bubble and all.
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“Lord Jesus is sitting at the right hand of God Almighty”–prove it. And then prove that Muhammed is not running heaven. And THEN prove that the Wiccan gods/esses aren’t real, and that Jesus really is the messiah, as us Jews don’t believe. While you’re at it, why not prove that the Hindu gods aren’t real? Can you? Somehow I doubt it…..if you could, the entire world would be Christian.

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as my, not in my. Oops.

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“You mentioned Noah’s flood – can I just seize the opportunity to point out that I, and many other Christians and Jews, believe this story was never intended to be read as history. It’s a fictional narrative written to make a range of theological points. Perhaps a good modern parallel for this kind of literature would be the Narnia Chronicles of CS Lewis.”
.
have you ever considered that maybe most if not all of the bible was never intended to be read as a history?

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I was wondering if you knew a place to get a really good pirate costume? I figured it was the most respectful thing I could dress as for Halloween, but all the outfits for women are “wench wear”. I want a male pirate costume that would fit a size 2 girl. Any suggestions? Thanks!

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nyx -
How about the bible as a historical account of Man’s evolution (ooh, ooh, dirty word) of spiritual awareness and his concept of “God?” The bible shows an account of Man’s belief in a diety and how that relationship changed over a few thousand years. Compare the God of the Old Testament to the God of the New. Not nearly as nasty and vendictive. Spiritual awareness can parallel scientific knowlege in the fact that both change with the influx of new information. Two different fields of study that have a shallow common ground, but in my opinion, need to remain seperate entities. Man’s concept of his world has alway been through the lens of his intellect. When a lot of the bible was written, you could have been a God yourself had you gone back in time and taken your IPod. Sound, pictures, movies, all on a little rectangular thing? They’d thrown those stone tablets away in a heartbeat.

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What’s wrong with being a wench?

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Wenches kick ass!

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OMFSM! (Oh My Flying Spaghetti Monster) Thank-you for the great laugh, One Crying. :)
/
I love people like you! Being a good person and doing good works will never get you into heaven. You can be the kindest, most loving person, but if you don’t buy into the resurrection, you are going to burn in a pit of flames for all eternity.
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On the other hand, you can be the meanest, nastiest, no-good piece of excriment on the planet… you could be Hitler, Manson, Bundy, and Dahmer all roled into one, but if you accept the resurrection you can go to heaven.
/
It’s more important to believe in a god that refuses to give evidence of his existence than it is to actually be a good person. It never fails to fascinate me.
/
RAmen.

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To the SaucyWench, absolutely nothing. We need someone to balance the piratey men in heavan.
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Gill, they cant prove it. They cant prove anything. Unfortunately, by the same token we cant disprove god. Thankfully, the burden of proof is on them, so its up to them to prove it, rather than us to disprove.
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It all comes down to Hume’s dictum*, which outlines the basic concept that no philosphical idea can be proven by occurences in the real world, and conversly, no real concept can be proven by a philosphical argument. It goes on to mention that it is impossible to prove real life events, bcause nothing is absolute in our universe.
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As a result, we have to rely on philosophical arguments to contend with god, (which is basically an idea, i might add) my favourite being the existence of evil;
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Logical problem of evil**
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Of course, all this wont stop me railing against any evidence that they claim is proof of god.
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Finally, to One Crying, the “resurrection” can be explained by many theories. However the simplest by far, (which takes into account the average individual’s wealth of the time, and does not call upon some untestable, unproveable, and above all, illogical, being to explain it) is grave robbers or defilers. By Occam’s razor***, the simplest is the best. Hence, the “resurrection” is best explained by… grave robbers.

*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hume%27s_dictum
**http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Problem_of_evil
***http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occam%27s_razor

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okay.. my “comment is awaiting moderation”… what the?

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nyx – If the bible is not historical, but alloagorical, why is it taken so literaly by the christian church.
/
Noah’s flood has all sorts of messages attached to it, and didn’t biblical scholars spend fortunes looking for the boat
on Mt Ararat in the 80’s?
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Science has gone on a pace in the last 2,000 years, just look at the 20th century science gave us Flying, TV, Motor Cars, computers, the internet etc. all of these came about by trial and error of provable things i.e you can fly and you can sit in your living room and watch someone fly thousands of miles away proof.
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According to the bible God spent thousands of years speaking to people directly or via messaengers ya know burning bushes, angels and such like. Then the bible and since not a word, this despite millons of the devout, and of diffrent faiths, praying, asking BEGGING but know nothing you would have thought he would have done something.
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If you think this is “fictional” perhaps more of it is made up – you think?

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Dear One Eyed Jack,
I’m not suggesting that you should believe everything the bible says just because it contains some things that are confirmed in other sources. Rather, I’m suggesting that it is evidence, and that a particularly crucial piece of evidence that it contains is the eyewitness testimony of Paul. For my part, I’m willing to concede that the Pastafarians also have evidence, in the form of reported sightings of the FSM. But I think we can legitimately make rational, albeit personal, judgments about whether the evidence for Christianity is better than the evidence for Pastafarianism. In making these judgments, I ask myself questions like: Does Paul appear to be joking? Does Bobby H? Does Paul appear to have an ulterior motive for claiming that he met and spoke with the risen Jesus? Do the witnesses who sighted the FSM appear to have an ulterior motive? .
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Dear nyx,
You suggested most if not all of the bible was never intended to be read as history. People have to make those kinds of judgments about any text. I can’t prove, for example, that Richard Dawkin’s books are intended to be taken seriously, and are not in fact, intended to satirise atheism. But there are various reasons why I believe Dawkins sincerely believed what he wrote. Similarly with Paul’s letters, and other parts of the bible.

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One-eyed Jack, Thanks. The FSM brings out the inner wench in me!

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Interesting note on the whole burning bush… there is a plant called dictamnus albus, that in the summer months covers itself with flammable oil, and can often ignite. It grows in Southern Europe, Central Asia, and *GASP* North Africa.
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It’s called the burning bush as a reference to the biblical times, but maybe moses on the mount was just an incidence of natural bush burning?

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@Stevee
“If the bible is not historical, but alloagorical, why is it taken so literaly by the christian church.”
Because fundies are crazy, silly.
But seriously, it only takes a few charismatic nutjobs to take something potentially good, make it ridiculous and get millions of people to run with it.
RAmen

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Hey, Bob!
I had a question for you, but I cannot use my email right now due to a problem with my cookies..
Anyhow!
I’m proud to say that I was one of your first few hundred (or thousand, whatever) member to your Church of FSM!! But I do know when first word of this religion came out there was a website that you had posted your religion on– and it’s like, the site to make religions I suppose.. Anyway, I dont have the website URL anymore because it’s been too long, and I have a religion of my own newly created about two years ago and I wanted to see if I could enter it……. It’s not a crappy religion, I swear! It’s the beliefe that all religions- are right and wrong. A teaching of the power of your mind, ect, ect, and how religions are really all the same, just all scrambled up by the idiotic “tellephone” game of man’s speaking.. Oh, and immagination! That helped allot to…
Um, do you mind giving me that URL if you still have it?
If you could, that would mean allot to me, thanks!

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Is it allowed to draw the Flying Spaghetti Monster? What would the Flying Spaghetti Monster say about it?
Some religions endorse fighting if anybody would do..

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Christian,
Sincerity is the most important thing in life. Once you can fake sincerity, you’ve got it made.
May the FSM touch you with his noodly appendage.
DP

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As a recent UK convert to the ways of the Flying Spaghetti Monster I am much concerned that schism may soon result here if Pastafarians are led from the true path to Spaghetti towards the alternative joys of Penne , Macaroni , Linguini etc which heretics claim to have seen and tasted.

Is it really possible that they are all of the same devine essence , something like the Trinity but edible (at least with rich satanic sauces etc)?

Please help your unworthy UK Pastafarian brothers and sisters to understand.

Also do you have a creed that we can all chant together at supper? It may be our last.

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Bob, I think you already know the answer to your question – the use of the words “alternative joys” sounds like sin to me!
.
However, I think this is a good opportunity to tell you about my own research which, although un-published, un-verified, un-written and, in point of fact, un-existing (but no less valid for all of that!), suggests very VERY strongly that the original Mountain, Trees and Midgit of His Noodly Creation are in fact slap in the middle of the Lake District, therefore making England (as it was always going to be) God’s Very Own Chosen Country.
.
Tea, sticky bun, schism, anyone?

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Umm, another “alternate” church. I am the grand PooBah of the Church of the Bovine Scatology.

My church also has scientific proof that you are a member.

So go sit on your throne and do my churches bidding

RESISTENCE IS FUTILE!!

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Davey writes, “the original Mountain, Trees and Midgit of His Noodly Creation are in fact slap in the middle of the Lake District”.
.
Come now. Let’s not be silly. His Noodly Mountain is located in Los Angeles. Certainly you’ve heard of Six Flags Magic Mountain? I mean, come on… it’s “magic”! Any diety that loves beer and strippers must love roller coasters too.
.
I highly recommend “Superman the Escape” for sheer speed factor. I hear good things about Tatsu, the inverted, flying roller coaster, but haven’t experienced it myself.
.
Oh, and steer clear of the Ninja. Pirates and nijas just don’t mix.
.
RAmen.

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I thought you had “to be this tall to ride”? Why would He, in His infinite Noodly Wisdom, create a midgit next to a bunch of roller coasters that said midgit can’t ride? That’s just plain cruel, and He is a Just Flying Spaghetti Monster. I mean, He’d have to be, what with the Stripper Factories and the Beer Volcanoes and all – sounds pretty damn Just to me!
.
You’re right about the Ninjas, though. Avast!

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Davey ,

Although I believe you speak true , like any infidel come to the true path I am much confused by your reply.

Although UFO’s and other strange things have been seen over the Lake District none have reportedly been in the holy form of the Noodly One. And its a bit far from any Pirate hangouts.

Can this be this just part of the magic?

Surely a believer needs to sift through these confusing holy utterances and place the ones he likes in a proper compendium of holy works?

It could be called something like the “Dribble” or the “Moron” but I suppose in time it could be used as the basis on which to kill lots of other people.

On second thoughts perhaps the Church of the FSM should not go that way.

P.S Can I get a FSM bib to catch the holy drips as I partake of his flesh each Friday?

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Uhm, I haven’t been on for awhile and was checking out some posts, and…..christian, at one point you were mentioning (in response to someone elses post) that the story of Noah’s Ark was not to be meant as history. That – ” It’s a fictional narrative written to make a range of theological points.” I think that pretty much might explain the Holy Bible in it’s entirety. A lot of good points, and a LOT of bad, (the stonings, slave owning, selling of daughters to slavery, homosexuality is wrong and unexcusable, you cuss you go to hell, tattooed you go to hell, different belief, you go to hell, humans and dinosaurs lived together on earth ((all animals were created at the same time….and it was good)), ETC. Where was I? Oh yeah. Doesn’t it seem plausible that most of the unbelievable things in the bible might be unbelievable for a reason. Why are there no world wide acts of god anymore? Surely there is enough shit goin on in the world to warrant a good ol’ act of god? Look at that stupid bastard that’s the Pres. of the USA. The wars, the RELIGIOUS wars. Come on God, Jesus, Holy Ghost…all of you, just you, end all this pointless fighting and killing…..the sad thing is, if you are right, and you pray tonight for all the war and fighting to end. It won’t. If you get your whole family to pray for the war and fighting to end, it won’t. You could get your whole town to do the same, and it won’t stop. That means if you’re right, God doesn’t care. What kind of god is that….not one I’d want to follow, or believe in. With all the lessons and physical phenomina that happened waaaay back when, you’d think he’d lift a holy finger to show us what was up now. Isn’t there enough sin in the world to warrant that? Answer me that Christian. Isn’t there enough sin in the world to warrant an act of God? How much is enough? When we kill ourselves in nuclear fallout, is that going to be the act of god or just humans going too far. Remember, if it’s not good it’s not a miracle, and if it’s caused by humans, it ain’t an act of god. Ryan Mear

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I must apologize, Christian did not make the Noah’s referance, it was nyx.

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Hi.
we think that FSM is really great.
We are a bunch of college students (of sciences the most of us)and We would like to make a pastafranian church here (in mexico)so we need to know what do we have to do to get yous faboulous church here.
I will really appreciate your answer al my mail address

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I’ve been in court and had arguments ready to go for the swear on the bible part. But I never got to use em. That apparently only happens in the movies.

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Well I do beleive you have a new convert on your hands…makes more sense than scientology at least. More plausible than a bearded man on a cloud and a little red dude with a pitchfork, but it doesnt have 72 virgins…

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Who needs 72 virgins when you’ve got *factories* churning out *highly experienced* strippers? Them as disagree should be made t’swab the poop deck for all time, scurvy dogs that they be! Arrrrghh!

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Could someone please answer my questions about Sauce (above).
May His Noodley appendage touch you.
Brother Louis

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@Louis:
.
Now, I’m no expert (nor, indeed, edumacated hardly at all), but with regards to your sauce question, as I understand it, there’s no dogma about accompaniments, just so long as there’s pasta.
.
Of course, mate, I could be steering by a bad compass, and if such be true, I’m sure someone’ll be along to correct me, and force I to walk the gang-plank! Arrrgghhhhh!!

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What about Ninjas?
I personally spend as much time being as ninja as I do a pirate (which is actually considerable). I’m only a recent FSM devotee, but I would like to here the stance on this ancient conflict. I leed this dual life in hopes that understanding can bring even more radness into the world… think about a combined ninja-pirate front? Unstoppable!

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Is no-one going to help sofia? I’m fairly new here myself. Pasta taccos anyone.

sofia Best
……..know what do we have to do to get yous faboulous church here.
I will really appreciate your answer al my mail address…….
RAmen

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Sofia,
Your email address isn’t posted, with good reason, on the forum.
RAmen

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Ninjas and pirates don’t mix.
.
There is the Reformed Church of the FSM and all their silly hoo-hoo about Ninjas and alfredo sauce, but nobody really takes them seriously. They’re just a bunch of fringe lunatics. No serious theologian considers them more than a minor cult.
.
I strongly suspect they made the whole thing up.
.
RAmen

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WHOA!! I think I was just touched by his noodly appendage!!! X)

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I created this image and was later told my someone that I had created the FSM. See it here http://www.flickr.com/photos/81935338@N00/275027648/ It must have been divine FSM intervention that led me to create this image because I didn’t know where it was going when I started making it.

Rick

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The time will come when a great wind will break forth from the tableside, and the core of Him, the meatball, will tumble into the abyss, and roll out the door. Then shall He roll under the flaming Bush and become nothing but dirt. And on the fourth day, sprouts will form from His body, and the grain shall grow again. And the grain shall feed the bovine, and also be made into noodles, and He shall return. So it is written, so it shall be. Thus spoke the antipasto.

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You have been touched, Rick.

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Dear Epistemologists (those interested in how we know things) everywhere,
it is interesting to note that there is such a strong following for FSM. It is particularly interesting because of the very interesting way in which those who do follow FSM regard knowledge. I am in fact a strong advocate of what I believe as being true, as I would assume most of you are. I guess the difference comes from what we in fact belive. I have noticed that those who follow the church of the FSM wish for equal rank in schools with both evolution and inteligent design. I have guessed (although perhaps erroniously) that this stems from a deep-seeded distrust of inteligent design, in particular, as an unfounded and religiously motivated augmentation of the scietific community (or perhaps the non-scientific community). I may well be wrong and very biased about what I will attempt to convey to the reader next, but I will attempt it nontheless.
You are very correct in assuming that the decision to put ID into Kansas school curiculum was religiously motivated. However the science is not neccesairly similarly motivated. I am aware that many of the readers of this will dissagree with me, but let me probe a little further. It seems that there is a general toffery around your particular scientific view. As I am also a scietifically minded person I am a little shocked at your ignorence to general scientific epistomology. Many times one view has been claimed as THE worldview only to be superseded by a more ‘real’ view. To take a case from your dicipline, physics, einstien and reletivity. Reletivity was heralded as THE way we view the universe. however Heisenberg, Bohr and all their co-horts come along and disrupt einstien’s cosy classical view for quantum indeterminacy. Einstien himself, who was a greater mind than you or me, could not accept indeterminacy simply on his preconceptions of what sort of universe this one is, yet today it is taught as fact and is in fact behind many of our everyday conveniences.
Now it may well be fun to make a little joke about the quaint little Christians down in Kansas, but it is another thing altogether to claim intelectual superiority when in fact we may never know if there is, was or could be some sort of designer for this great mess we call the universe. As for the ‘facts’ which I am sure you cling to for you sure footing in this difficult world, I would encourage you to reserve your judgement on others and instead try to understand all the views before dicounting them.
I Hope I have been both ballanced and clear in my statements. I know that you will not all agree with me, but that is surely what makes this wold so interesting. Thankyou for reading. Sincerly
Epistemologically concerned

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Verbose!
“quaint little Christians down in Kansas”
Now there’s a desriptiion which my imagination had not previously concieved.
How quaint!

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Pompous.

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LONG POST
.
Dear Epistemologically Concerned,
.
Thanks for joining the debate.
.
It’s worth noting that you feel the need to write:
.
‘I am in fact a strong advocate of what I believe as being true, as I would assume most of you are.’
.
This looks like tautology: if we believe something, then we don’t need additionally to state that we think it is true – that’s what we mean by stating that we believe it. But I think the fact that you feel obliged to support the word ‘believe’ in this way indicates something quite true and sort of fascinating. ‘Belief’ has become a rather weird, woolly, undefined thing. A lot people today genuinely seem to regard themselves as believing something that actually conflicts with their operational understanding of reality.
.
This is what drives people like Richard Dawkins to complete bafflement: clear-minded, rational-thinking, educated individuals who happily accept the advances of science but who nevertheless strongly hold beliefs that, were they to reason them out, would utterly contradict the secular knowledge that they take for granted.
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I used to be such a person myself. I believed in god but I also read popular science, pursued a non-religious degree course and, like most, allowed my first-hand experiences to inform my actions in the world.
.
Particular aspects of my religion, as they were preached to me, occasionally caused me mild alarm, by bringing into view the places where doctrine did not uphold the kind of secular reason or humanistic morality that I had built up through my life.
.
I accepted this for some time. It’s largely possible to hold religion and reality in different parts of the mind, benefiting from the psychological support offered by faith whilst continuing to live on essentially humanistic principles. But the conflicts are there, and it was only a matter of time before I got around to addressing them. The result is that I am no longer a Christian.
.
I wonder how many people are actually operating this kind of science/faith doublethink, in which belief offers emotional strength and plugs the otherwise nagging need to answer some big existential questions. How many people would find themselves in an untenable position of self contradiction if they actually pursued the implications of their dual beliefs? On the purely anecdotal evidence of talking to people I know and have known, it’s a *lot* of people.
.
On the subject of Intelligent Design and whether the ‘science’ behind it is religiously motivated, I’ll just offer up two links. These have both been placed here by other visitors to this site (Mike Meier for the latter one) and I have them to thank for my being able to now recommend them to you. (Because long web addresses sometimes prevent posts from passing through moderation, I will remove ‘http://www/’ from the front of the addresses.)
.
.newyorker.com/fact/content/articles/050530fa_fact
.
.csicop.org/intelligentdesignwatch/dover.html
.
Both of these might be of interest to you in thinking about ‘Intelligent Design’ and both are well worth reading fully.
.
Then you say this:
.
‘Many times one view has been claimed as THE worldview only to be superseded by a more ‘real’ view. To take a case from your dicipline, physics, einstien and reletivity. Reletivity was heralded as THE way we view the universe. however Heisenberg, Bohr and all their co-horts come along and disrupt einstien’s cosy classical view for quantum indeterminacy.’
.
Yes, it’s true. Scientists don’t stop doing science every time a new answer comes along. They pick at it, work from it and, if what they later find undermines the original idea, then the original idea is modified – or ditched. After all, the best scientific explanation for life that we used to be able to manage was ‘God did it’. Now we have evolution. God was heralded as THE way we view the universe. However Darwin, Dawkins and all their cohorts came along and obliterated the cosy Christian view of creation.
.
Scientists don’t pretend to be infallible. Nor would they reject a more convincing scientific argument than their current ones on the origins of life, and of the universe. ID is rejected because it is demonstrably incoherent, unscientific rubbish. When Christian scientists come up with something better than a restatement of their religious assumptions strung together with unjustified assertions, dysfunctional mathematics and scientific language, maybe they’ll do a little better.
.
No, we will never know for sure that there is no designer, you are absolutely right. Even if the scientists eventually, one day in the distant future, hang up their white coats and report that they have fully explained absolutely everything, the religiously minded will still be able to say: ‘But there *could* be an invisible, incorporeal being who secretly does it all and just makes it look this, couldn’t there? And you can’t stop me believing in him if I want to!’. And here is exactly the point of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. If it makes you happy to imagine that it’s all the work of some inaccessible, unique, unproveable being, then you’re probably just going to go on believing it even if everything we know from observing our world suggests that the chances of such a thing existing are too small to comprehend.
.
But don’t go pulling the ‘tolerate our religion’ card on me. When Christians can reign in their outspoken preachers who spread anti-humanistic ethics and anti-educational scepticism about the possibility of understanding without god – then, maybe, I’ll allow them to cuddle themselves up in their warm and fuzzy superstitions in the privacy of their own homes. Until then, even though I sympathise with you, you worry me.
.
It’s true, all these beliefs do make the world interesting. The sad thing is, when you find out a bit about the world (as you must have, with your reference to quantum mechanics) it’s actually amazingly, amazingly, amazingly interesting. Blocking out all that amazement with a ‘Here Be God’ is a crying shame.
.
Thanks for listening.
.
PS – By the way, you might find a friend over on the ‘for my part, my christian beliefs’ thread’. A debate not unlike this one (or at least one that has included the world ‘epistemology) has been going on for some time.

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Dear J
Thankyou very much for your well thought out answer. I relieves me greatly to know that there are people who understand the debate first hand, because not all of the posts here gave that impression. You may have guessed I am in fact a Chrsitian, but that should not make you assume certain things about either my faith or my worldview. The main reason why I wrote the above post is to safe-gaurd (I know it is not my task but sometimes I can’t help my self, sorry) against more people developing a fundementalist mindset. I deal with Christian fundementalists on a daily basis and it brings me no end of frustration, as I sure some of you can understand. However my view of what is frustrating is in fact their mindset is so very closed to other people’s ‘truth,’ so to speak. I thought (wrongly or rightly) when I read some of the posts on this site that I detected a little of the same mindset. This is why I am glad to see your post J as you clearly not fitting into that category. As for tollerence, I can understand, as an intelligent and thinking Christian I find no end of shame with other Christians, who are either doing wrong in the name of God (never a good idea), or just not thinking about what they are saying. Once again thankyou for your thoughtful respose, and sorry if I took up too much of your time. Sincerly
Epistemologically concerned

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hello i am nathan henley and i am one of fsm supporters’ in utah. I have recently bought a fsm shirt and now am spreading the gospel to my school. they all find it interesting and funny. The fsm story was told to me by my dad while he was drunk and it was the best story i have ever heard so ill keep supporting what your doing and yeah.

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“The fsm story was told to me by my dad while he was drunk ”
.
Mormons have clean cut teenagers in suits to spread their religion. We have drunken “fathers”. I love it!
.
OEJ

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Thank you Pastaman, now I have NO HOPE,

Just when I thought a nation that thought Baseball interesting, believe that Smackdown and Raw are real, and could put Bush into office not once but twice could sink no lower I discover your website. I am left with no alternative other than believe that there are actually people out there that think you are being serious. We think the Irish are thick and the Germans have no sense of humour but hey c,mon people, get a grip. O.k we have little old ladies that send get well cards to charachters on soaps when they not well but they are harmless and don’t keep invading other countries.
FSM save us all, God certainly won’t.

Or are FSM, God and Allah the real Holly Trinity!!!
What the fuck was that!!!!!!!
Shit that Lightening Bolt came close!

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Wow, I think Malc here has taken hate mail to the “HNL.” Not only does he insult our religion, but the country that gave it birth. Is this one of those “your momma” things?

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Can you translate into English please Princess? What is HNL and your momma things? Us Brits don’t understand! Well I don’t anyway, not that i’m typical. Luv ‘n’ kisses Princess M. Aemrica! Princess? Something not quite right about those 2 words!

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To malc, at least he has his opinions of Bush straight, I have to give him props for that on the other hand while on the topic of countries, what is England doing helping Bush?

Anyways this post is a question about the official religion status of CoftheFSM. Now despite separation of church and state, churches get all sorts of benefits like not paying taxes, or backing up people in conciencious objector (CO) status (like the UU’s). So I was wondering if Prophet Henderson had looked into these possibilities.

This question occured to me about taxes first, see in Alaska (excellent state that it is) the government is obscenely corrupt, and the largest church in town (Anchorage Baptist Temple) claims a rediculous number of properties for tax exempt status (things like the Janitors house, and the Preachers house with his 14 car garage) this was pointed out by some concerned citizens, when it was denied they threatend legal action, at which time the state passed a new law to make what ABT had been doing legal, and that was that. Ouch. So if CotFSM had religion status we could set up houses of worship all over the country, we need only define what exactly worship was; i think pirate parties on friday nights would be one example, but we need not feel restricted to orthodoxy, I would say Ultimate frisbee might be found appealing by his noodlyness due to the flying object, and flying people with extended limbs (for he is the perfect being, so we should strive to be more like him yes?)

Second seeking CO status. CO status is not always easy to obtain (Muhammed Ali) but it helps your chances tremendously if you have a history of being a conciencious objector, and you belong to social/family groups of conciencious objectors. Rational moral reasons for not wishing to sew murder and mayhem are acceptable reasons, but your case can be streangthend by religiously reinforced beliefs. The UU’s take letters from their members, archive them, and have an officially religious person write their support of the CO. So I think that everyone who does not want to go killing people when the draft comes back should post to one of these boards declaring themselves a conciencious objector.

I apologize if I am twisting this faith from its ID roots, but I feel that this faith has so much potential it would really be wasteful (and un-religionlike) to stop at one issue.

Drew Cason
(Dread Pirate Drew)

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I for one am in agreement with brother Drew. We should try and obtain official religion status. But that is not what I am here to ask about.

My question concerns the great Noodely One and and his Two Balls. What is the official statement of the CoftheFSM concerning this. Are his noodles and balls three seperate entities or one?

“In the unity of his Noodelyness there are three Persons, the Noodle, the Polpette, and the Swedish Meatball, these Three Persons being truly distinct from one another. Thus, in the words of the Parmesean Creed: “The Noodle is God, the Polpette is God, and the Swedish Meatball is God, and yet they are not three Flying Spaghetti Monsters, but one Flying Spaghetti Monster.”

Now this has led me to some curiousity regarding the true nature of the Trinity of the his Noodelyness. Can anyone point out to me whether He is actually three beings or one?

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Ink,
.
Do not ponder the nature of the FSM. We are but simple mortals and cannot know his true nature. Any decent religion understands that knowledge is dangerous. Have some pasta. Be happy. See you at the beer volcano.
.
OEJ, aspiring FSM Theologian

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Thank you brother Jack. Just this very morning I witnessed the power of the great Noodely One. For as I prepared my breakfast of spaghetti, my roomates came bursting through the door screaming “Free beer!” Truly blessed are his children. RAmen

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“Trinity” is the delicious black-clad hottie character from the “Matrix” movies, whereas the FSM is the delicious all-powerfully, noodly creator of everything. Hope this helps.

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HNL=Horny Nuns Leauge

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Here’s a question I frequently ask: What’s the deal with scientology? I’ve gone to lots of sites on it but they are all too long and boring and I’m way too lazy to read them, HELP ME PLEASE!!!!

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My husband just recently found a site exposing the b.s. behind scientology. Something about how only the enlightened members are allowed to understand how some alien guy (Xenu I think is his name) came to earth, dropped off a buncha people around volcanos, and then he blew them all up. I don’t remember what happens then.

From what I understand, L. Ron Hubbard started it as a joke, or maybe not as a joke, but tongue in cheek, at least, and then when he realized that people actually took it seriously and that he could make some serious money off of these idiots, well, he just went with it.

Reckon that means we gotta keep a real close eye on Bobby Henderson, eh?

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L Ron Hubbard is actually quoted in saying that the best way to make money in this world would be to start your own religion.

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What gives with volcanos, do you suppose?

Bobby, did you take that from Scientology, or is it just a weird coincidence?

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Now I have another question, this one posed by a friend of mine.

We all know that Chef Boyardee is a false profit and therefore is blasphemous to eat a resemblance of his great noodleyness in canned form. But are Spaghetti O’s ok? They technically are not entirely resemblant of his noodlyness.

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What do you say we go for official non-profit religious organization status, it doesnt look that hard and I think that the hubub generated if we were granted it would be a most excellent means of spreading the Word. I posted a link in the FAQ section to a guide on setting up your own 501c3

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WHAT!!! Blowing people up? how is that a good thing? Is this guy also responsible for loosening Tom Cruise’s screws? May the FSM smite his ass with a wet noodle .

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He seems much better after getting fired though,don’t ya think?

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Dude, if there’s beer volcanoes and stripper factories awaiting me when I’m dead, my soul (or whatever His Noodliness requires of me) is YOURS. Where do i send money?

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I am in full support of requesting official non-profit religious organization status. You say you posted the link in the FAQ section? Isn’t that where we are?

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Yeah I screwed up, Its in the comment on open letter section, I was posting to both and got confused. Thanks for the support.

DP Drew

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You should make a translation in finnish too! I have taken spreading the word of His Noodly Appendage here in Finland.

May The Great Noodle come to us all.
Ramen.

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I have taken spreading the word of His Noodly Appendage here in Finland *AS MY LIFE’S WORK* forgive for me for my lack of concentration.

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Is this for real? I mean is this an actual religion or just a clever way to poke fun at religion because frankly im becoming concerned as i read these comments.

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“Is this for real?”
.
Why do people keep asking that?
.
In case you are wondering, this site is satirical in nature. So, yes it is a clever way to poke fun at religion.
.
However, it is also the faith of many pirates out there… you only need look at some of our more devout members. One Eyed Jack, for example, swears by a good bit of pasta alongside his plundering.

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Tia,
.
Why don’t you try our religion for a while, we have this great 30 day offer “if you are not happy after 30 days with our religion you can go back to your old religion”
.
You will be very happy as a pastaferian, each time you eat a bowl of pasta you too can rejoice in the noodlie love of the FSM.
.
Our religion is now one of if not the fastest growing religion at the present. Be one of the first to spread the word! What other religion can boast that there supreme being wants you to learn about evolution and big bang theory as well as other religions as then you will know the truth. Christianity for example wants you to blindly follow has that never struck you as suspicious?

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Tia, I can see why you’re concerned. It DOES sound too good to be true, doesn’t it. But from my own experience I can tell you that the FSM is real, and like Nowtheworldhasmeaning said, you can take our 30 day offer. We’re sure you’ll be glad you did. So, of course we’re serious, and we really like midgets.

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What kind of Physics degree ,Bobby?

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“In case you are wondering, this site is satirical in nature. So, yes it is a clever way to poke fun at religion.”

Satire, maybe. Clever, no. It just pokes fun. It ridicules. It is ridiculous.

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“Satire, maybe. Clever, no. It just pokes fun. It ridicules. It is ridiculous.”
.
Whether or not a thing can be classed as clever is entirely dependant on its (its’? it’s? I’m soooo confused!!!) perception by the society is within.
.
You may not hold that it is clever; however, by the standards of numerous posters on this site, it is clever. From the testimonials of numerous academics, it would seem that it is regarded as clever by those best positioned to judge.
.
One last point, that FSMism is ridiculous. Yes, of course it is ridiculous. That is the mechanism of the form of satire being used. It is ridiculous, but no more ridiculous than any religion.
.
That you would feel that it is a detrimental mark against our faith is, in itself, utterly ridiculous.

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@Cunnilingus Rice
.
“Satire, maybe. Clever, no. It just pokes fun. It ridicules. It is ridiculous.”
.
I see you understand. Religion is ridiculous. Another lost pirate brought back to the volcano.
.
RAmen

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@Cunnilingus Rice. I think that somebody needs to take their Happy Pills.

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To Drew

Fuck knows what us Brits are doing supporting Bush in Iraq. Some bizaar twist of that thing called democracy. You get 20% of the electorate voting for you and you got absolute power. Not sure I fully understand you’re system but at least you got one safeguard. No idiot can be boss for more than 8 years. Mind you in some cases that can be 8 years too long.

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Absolutely love this whole concept!

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wow man, im a 16 year old kid and i must say it is quite comforting to find a site like this. respect for your brains.

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Bobby, is there anthing that can be done about the miles of spam pouring into the “retarded” thread. The page is taking ages to load because of it. I mean 10,000 repeats of the same words gets a bit boring in the middle of a conversation.
from nikkiee
RAmen

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from what i could gather this religion focuses more on science, right? well what evidence; scientific evidence that is, do you have for the claim that humans evolve from pirates?

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We share almost ALL of our genes with that of Pirates. we found several 1756 pirates frozen in a glacier in the south pole. carbon dating proved when they froze, and genetical comparisons showed us how closely we were related. also, we took several pirate converts and ran the same genetic testing. they showed to be slowly reverting to dna almost completely identical to the pirate’s.
clear and concise proof!
RAmen

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FSM is great and powerful. Since I know for a fact that we are here only because we are here… that’s good enough for me. I’m sick of people who think they know there is a god and will kill for it. Organized religion (except for FSM) is what is wrong with our world. If you are silly enought to have faith in something you cannot prove, that’s OK. But I will think you are stupid, and I’ll be right.

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Having read over your letter and after talking with other people about it, FSM is easily a great, if not the greatest religion. It is not a religion that goes crazy over people not believing in it. It backs things up with proof, and I think that is one of the great things about it. Not only that, but due to the ever-changing results of science, who is to prove whether the FSM really does or doesn’t exist. Anyone who tries will be wrong, unless they prove he does exist, which will probably be based off of wrong information. Anyway, I think this is an excellent religion, and I support it fully.

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And, we have a graph!

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And beer and strippers!

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Beer and Strippers!
Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about!

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This is an excellent site and a great bit of satire. Keep up the good work!

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I dont get this at all. Plus pirates were humans. And this is just really weird to me

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HA HA HA HA

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Thank you tommy, I haven’t laughed so hard since I fell off my dinosaur! / end sarcasm.

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Brilliant website. I am Brit having recently seen a very scary TV program about the Design Institute and Intelligent Design. Did I understand correctly that 50% of Americans do not believe in evolution? (including your idiot president – you should insist on 3 digit IQ’s for future candidates). Its such a relief to see some sensible religious beliefs still exist in the most powerful country in the world.

Anyway, as a noobie convert, are there any noodley FSM commandments I should be following? Can’t see any published on the site.

All the best

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This site is great, and is VERY refreshing compared to the other religious sites that I have had the displeasure of browsing through. You have successfully converted my partner, who was once an avid enemy of religion in general. Thank you for providing him with spiritual direction, and I am off now to learn more about His Noodleness~

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RAmen;>

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JIM,-Thou shall not slop sauce on thy T-shirt.

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Thats a tough one. I love slurping up spaghetti. Need to invest in a plastic coat

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i don’t think there are any commandments, but there are a few “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts”. perhaps one of the longer-serving pastafarians here could recite them.

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@JIM
Reguarding our commandments (or condiments), here you go:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of_the_Flying_Spaghetti_Monster#Captain_Mosey_and_the_Eight_.22I.27d_Really_Rather_You_Didn.27ts.22
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There is also some other background info there as well.
RAmen

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I am so proud of my tommy. See how he spelt HA right every time. Next we are going to learn T and practice HAT.
jeebus love you tommy

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Does Pastafarianism include the belief of an afterlife?
Are there requirements to it?
If so, wouldn’t have been hard for people living before this letter to have gone to the afterlife?

I’ve been looking for truth and this may be the answer I needed.

Thanks,
Merfy

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An interesting concept… a Flying Spaghetti Monster… makes as much – if not more – than most other religions. I would like to say that I’ve been converted by the letter to the Kansas school board, but sadly… no. I am willing to “believe”, but I would like some more “evidence” (by the way, it’s brilliant) before *cough* seriously considering this religion. Also, I am currently an unlicensed and practicing pirate, and appreciate the attention. Keep up the good work,
Regards – _Triso_

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Triso

The Church of the Flting Spaghetti Monster has a thirty day trial period. If at the end of that period you do not feel the warmth of His Noodly Goodness in your belly, then you are welcome to choose another course to sail. Pastafarians believe that to warm the heart you must first warm the belly. Help yourself to the buffet table…mmm…fresh garlic bread…next to the keg of beer. Arrrgh!!!

Smite them with the cutlass of kindness

RAmen and pass the Parmesan

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@Merfy Nov 28th, 2006 at 5:21 pm
“Does Pastafarianism include the belief of an afterlife?”
.
Yes Merfy the two most talked about rewards of our glorious FSM heaven are the fabled beer volcanos and the beautiful strippers.
“If so, wouldn’t have been hard for people living before this letter to have gone to the afterlife?”
The letter was merely the uncloseting of the Pastafarian religion, for our religion always has been and His Noodleyness has always been there to guide worthy Pirates and Pastafarians unto His most generous afterlife.
RAmen and welcome

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@Triso
“….I am willing to “believe”, but I would like some more “evidence”…”
.
Have you not seen our graph or the the Great FSM captured on video?

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Brilliant site. Reading the various hate-mail from the religious morons that have ZERO sense of humor, it proves that they are as stupid as what the general population believe them to be. Muppets. If there is “Intelligent Design” then it must have missed them when they were made; God must be laughing His ass off at them. At the end of the day any religious fundaMENTALists are as bad as each other. Christian, Muslim, Jew, Sikh, Hindu whatever.

To any sane-minded person, it is obvious that the teachings of the Bible are a metaphor and not literal. The idea of ID and its buddy creationism are a complete cop-out. So we don’t understand something straight away, so what? We (i.e. human understanding) will figure it out eventually, we always do.

Hail to the FSM! I’m off the celebrate my enlightenment with bowl full of pasta and a pirates documentary!

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Yay! More converts. Welcome. Join in. Have fun.

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I have known of the spaghetti monster for nigh on three score and ten and feel blessed his spaghettiness is being worshipped. May his gangly edible limbs caress the lands below….and would someone stop turning up the heat. Theres not many of us left you know. Ah…pasta time

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i may be in a position to shed some light on the afterlife debate – and the tidings are glad – yes, there is a an afterlife for pastafarians, i am there, and it’s called . . . pudding

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I’m sure Ernie would agree! – sorry,bert(old buddy,old pal) I just couldn’t resist;>

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Keee-Keee-Keee-Keee

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I go now……..and find my rubber ducky.

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damn dude this is some tight shit. im converted. fuck my old religion

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Tight shit got ya down? One word: BRAN- good for what ails ya!

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I would like to know the views of The Church of FSM on vidio piracy.

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The Feathered Bastard is a seeker of truth, and truth it has found in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Therefore, the Feathered Bastard would like to be considered for the position of Bishop or Cardinal in the Church of the FSM. Please consult my recent post in my Feathered Bastard blog with the Phoenix New Times messing with some Christakooks here in Phoenix, AZ.

I once was agnostic. But if I can be a bishop or a cardinal with a way-wikkid mitre, I will bow down and worship FSM.

Thank you berry mucho,

Feathered Bastard
http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com

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Inspired – I wish it had been my idea :)

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Two questions:
First, do the pirate songs of Flogging Molly and Jimmy Buffett count as gospal music?
Also, is the difference schism between the main church and the Reformed Church of Alfredo, with their regard of ninjas, by any means permanant?

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Oh dear…..they sound like questions for OEJ (Pastafarian Theologian)
No doubt he will answer them for you.
RAmen

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Although the sea shanty “It’s a pirates life for me” is the supreme noodley song, any piratical tune is welcome.
.
Regarding the split, while there are still some radical elements, for the most part, we have put aside our differences to revel in noodely goodness. I myself am a reformed – Carbonarist (an offshoot of the Alfredoists).
.
Since rejoining the mainstream faith though, I have learnt to balance the red sauces with white, to acheive a greater understanding of the pastary goodness, as well as gaining the true knowledge of ninja’s as stealthy land pirates.

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Finally I understand the meaning of life. I can’t imagine I missed the real facts when they where right under my nose. Oh well, is there anyway I can sign up to become a real pastafarian?

/Bronson

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Bronson
“is there anyway I can sign up to become a real pastafarian?”
You just have! Welcome aboard.
RAmen

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Bronson
You might like to wikipedia the “Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster” if you haven’t done so already, but it is not compulsory. (just educational re Pastafarianism)
RAmen

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I remember reading your letter to your school board on Wikipedia, maybe two years ago – it went around the office, and we all shared a laugh. Now I recently discovered your site, and it just gets funnier. Unforteanately, I am becoming concerned with somthing which isn’t quite funny, as it becomes less than clear what you faithful, and much more public “pirates” are focused on achieving from here.

You have skewered all arguments supporting any bible-based god – way to go, and those of us who never were or are no longer swayed by religious doctrine appreciate it greatly. But argument evolves at a rate faster than the viruses which cause disease (maybe that’s why Dawkins used that analogy in his documentary “The Virus of Faith”), so argument alone will never defeat the religious plague which motivates people to hate, alienate, and kill each other.

I know it may seem silly to talk about how we represent FSM, and the story certainly wouldn’t be as funny without stripper factories and beer volcanoes. But if your pirates fail to present something better than their “I don’t care” message to the world when they take to the streets, then you lose the ultimate argument with the Crossies – that there can be no virtue without faith in god, from which all things holy proceed.

Those of us who are ex-Christians understand that all faith experiences are made effective to the believer by the social communion between people who treat each other according to a shared moral code, and constantly reaffirm each other’s faith until it becomes real. The power of that faith is in fact real (if only because it makes you feel more powerful), but the real source is much more likely from the merging of human souls (eternal or not) than their biblegod. So, faith does indeed seem to be the power behind altruism, love, and happiness. Well, suppose that everyone in their churches, synagogues, mosques, and zendos accross the world could accept the humanism of their religious activities, with the understanding that their (mostly) common moral codes are influenced by their genes? If there is anything in the bible or quran which is in conflict with the conscience of most, than it would (as it shoud) be disregarded. The world’s children would not be circumcised without scientific medical cause, and middle-east girls would not be mutilated by their parents. We don’t need any religous tenet other than this one, The Golden Rule. The only “unbelievers” which would remain are the sociopaths.

If this sounds like a crazy dream, it probably is. But if it’s just a dream, I believe it’s the dream of humanistic leaders like Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris to rid the world of religion for it’s improvement, not its plunder (ye pirates!). I just learned that hundreds of local low-to-middle income office workers were laid off – it came with no warning, no severence pay, and, without notice time for which they could seach for jobs elsewhere. They were all out on the street at Christmas, not knowing how they would pay the bills. The CEO responsible for this extremely selfish and cruel deed refused comment other than to state that he felt no need to defend himself! While these are the ethics which I hope you pirates do not share, I’m interested in knowing what kind of people are on this blog, and making those street videos. What I hope is that you who fight religious indoctrination for FSM aren’t trust-fund-riding party animals. How would you define a hard day’s work? How do you treat your neighbors (who may be ill, or struggling through a painful phase of life) when you come in at 3am? Do you consider that they are as much entitled to their peace as you are to having a good time, or do you judge them for not being like you? If your girlfreind got pregnant by some accident, would you help her take care of the baby?

The reason I ask is because it is people who feel no social responsibility for their actions who have taken my country, the US, and humped it into the third-world socio-economic jungle which it now is. Millions of people lose their jobs after decades of commitment to an employer, and few ever find equivalent employment, as the the cost of re-education escalates. My country, the US, once at the top of the world in education and industry, is now just an underachiever with a big army, as the gap between rich and poor approaches the opposing coastlines on each side. This is what happens when godless greed becomes more powerful than the faith in humanity which is needed to fuel the altruism and love, which is in turn needed to stop humanity from feeding on itself.

Anyway, this site makes a great laugh, and by the time it’s novelty wears maybe you will have found a job. If, on the other hand, you truly are interested in bringing down the religious nonsense in our education system, there really is a way. Knowing how religious authority is immune to science and rhetoric, it may seem impossible, but that’s only as impossible as it is for all ye pirates to be like ET – good! This itself may require some degree of religious (Pastafarian?) humanism, I’m not sure since I haven’t read the book yet. But it’s definitely the only way to get people to give up their silly doctrines and stop empowering the preachers of such garbage with their money!

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thepicker is my hero.
may we all be blessed with the noodliness of kindness to others (except during our plundering, yarrr). and may we never find our delicious pasta defiled with the moldy sauce of blind mythology. altho magic is cool…
speaking of magic, are the devout pirates capable of any super-human feats as a result of their devotion to the FSM? can they turn water into beer?

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I think you guys are great, from now on im gonna be a pirate, in fact, im gonna make people into belivers

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@FSM BELIVER
OK..good …..now see that little lever there?….. the one that says ‘FSM Worship’ …..yeah?….excellent……ok now just pull it back towards yourself a little. With a bit of practice, you’ll soon get the feel of it.
RAmen

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Sweet Stuff

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Is there a place i can download a FSM stencil

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@Daniel unicycle man
Click on the materials link at the top of this page. Heaps of good stuff there, for download.
RAmen

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What about ninjas? I get the whole Pirates and global warming thing, but would it be okay if I were a ninja, or would that just defeat the whole point?

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Gee Oreeyo, there have been quite a few past discussions reguarding the Pirates and the ninjas. I’m sure someone will be able to help you on that one. I believe at one stage there was a Pastafarian splinter group of ninjas (don’t take my word for it though).
RAmen

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Lets face it. Ninjas are cool and all that.
But the babes want PIRATES!!! It’s that whole bad boy image me thinks!
Not to discredit ninjas at all, but come on now… Let us compare the two…
Pirates vs Ninjas… Huummmm? Crap I be drunk tonite!
Ramen

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Yes, the Church of the Reformed Alfredoists declared Chef Boyardee and his pirates as heretics, with their tomato based sauces, leading to the great church schism that haunts us to this day.

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I thought I read somewhere recently, Jingles, that there had been kissing and making up over that feud?

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Well, I’m not entirely certain if kissing was in fact mentioned.

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Well… I myself come from the carbonarist branch of the alfredoists, but I have come to realise that the great fsm does not care whether your sauce is creamy white or blood red.
.
Many like me have made peace with our wayward brothers and sisters, but there will always be those poor fanatical devotees.

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I hate people who try to pray in our schools. We don’t teach in their churches.

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@Alan
‘We don’t teach in their churches.’
.
Would that we could!
RAmen

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Cheesits H. Cripsy Crackers and Mother of whole grains protect us. Is raving better than ranting? Is proving you have no appreciation of the absurd)better than rejoicing in silliness? Behold the sacred clown HONK

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Ohh… don’t let Penne hear that…
.
She doesn’t like clowns very much…

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Speaking of Penne, not heard from her in quite some time now. Hope she is well.

RAmen

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Mmm… maybe the clowns have gotten her?

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i like how a lot of the frequently asked questions are statements haha

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In light of the information below, shouldn’t we Pastafarians be demanding a room in the Pentagon and access to general officers?

—–

Thomas D. Williams | Generals Promote Christianity Inside the Pentagon

Generals Promote Christianity Inside the Pentagon
By Thomas D. Williams

Tuesday 26 December 2006

It’s a delicate and controversial question. Where does freedom to practice religion inside Pentagon offices with high-ranking Defense Department officers, congressmen and other ranking federal officials stop?

Can Army generals in uniform gather with congressmen and federal agency officials to promote the Christian faith in uniform inside the Pentagon while being videotaped by a high-powered religious organization? Can the easily accessible tape, as well as military Christian web sites, be misconstrued by Islamic extremists during wartime?

The videotape was pulled off the internet recently, after a complaint that it violated federal regulations and the US Constitution by using governmental officials to promote Christianity. It is not the only web site heralding Christians in the military.

The complaint against the video is in the hands of Thomas F. Gimble, acting Department of Defense inspector general. Mikey Weinstein, president and founder of the Military Religious Freedom Foundation, in Albuquerque, NM, made the accusations December 11 against the Christian Embassy in Washington, DC. Simultaneously, Weinstein filed a detailed freedom of information request, asking the Pentagon for any documents or other material related to the origins of the video.

Department of Defense regulations say: “Community relations activities shall not support, or appear to support, any event that provides a selective benefit to any individual, group, or organization, including any religious or sectarian organization, ideological movement, political campaign or organization or commercial enterprise. When DOD support is provided to one non-federal entity, the DOD component commands or organizations providing such support must be able and willing to provide similar support to comparable events sponsored by similar non-federal entities.”

The Embassy’s web site says it, as a non-denominational Christian ministry, has sought for three decades “to help diplomats, government leaders and military officers find real and lasting purpose through faith and encouragement.” On the other hand, Weinstein’s more recently created foundation says it has become a “national movement to restore the obliterated wall separating church and state in the most technologically lethal organization ever created by humankind: the United States armed forces.” He charges that widespread military promotions of Christianity risk claims by Iraqi insurgents and Islamic terrorists that the US is, in part, conducting violent crusades against them.

The Department of Defense’s own web site contains references to a DOD conference with senators three years ago, in which a high-ranking general, who is still active, is quoted as suggesting the Iraq War is a religious war. Senator Mitch McConnell, a Kentucky Republican and majority whip, is quoted as saying: “[The general] speaks of Muslims. He says, quote, ‘They’re after us because we are a Christian nation.’ He speaks about his conversations with other … with Muslims, and he speaks of one where he says, quote, ‘I knew that my God was bigger than his. I knew that my God was a real God, and his was an idol.’ And he also says, quote, ‘God, not the voters, chose President Bush.’”

Weinstein claims military organizations have become highly promotional of Christianity, with military arm patches suggesting crusades, a biblical quotation posted over the door of a military classroom, evangelical organizations pushing members to propagandize service members, and the wholesale use of military e-mail to send religious messages.

Despite his complaints against the military, Weinstein is no military outsider. He describes his and his family’s background this way: As a 1977 honor graduate of the United States Air Force Academy, Weinstein spent 10 years in the Air force as a “JAG” or military attorney serving, as both a federal prosecutor and a criminal defense attorney. His oldest son and daughter-in-law are 2004 Air Force Academy graduates, and Weinstein’s youngest son is currently a first classman (senior) at the Academy and is the sixth member of the Weinstein family to attend the institution. Weinstein’s father is a distinguished graduate of the United States Naval Academy.

In the video, Weinstein attacks – as a blatant example of an illegal Pentagon religious promotion – the statement of an unidentified narrator: “The Christian Embassy comes alongside presidential appointees serving in the White House and federal agencies to help direct their focus on Jesus Christ.” The session was held originally inside the Pentagon in February 2004, and it included brief interviews with seven high-ranking military officers dressed in uniform, five congressmen, two foreign ambassadors, and four ranking federal officials.

President Bush, commander-in-chief of the armed forces, who styles himself as a man of deep Christian faith, has warned the public and officials about promoting a particular religious faith on government time. On the White House web site, discussing religious funding, he sets out this rule: “If someone asks you about your personal faith while you are providing a government-funded service, you may answer briefly. But if you wish to have a longer discussion on matters of faith, you should set up a time to speak with that person later. In this way, you avoid using government funds for what might be taken to be an inherently religious activity, and the program is kept on track. But you also have an opportunity later to share your faith and explain why you do what you do.”

One of the video’s participants, Judy Guenther, a Pentagon senior executive, gives an emotional description of her participation in the Christian group, according to a transcription of her remarks. She says: “Through my relationship with the Christian Embassy, my eyes were opened to the fact that even though I was a sinner, Jesus Christ is a very forgiving God, and all I have to do is accept him as my savior, and he died on the cross for me, personally, … he paid my debt in full, and it, um, makes me cry.”

Earlier this month, Dr. Robert Varney, executive director of the Christian Embassy, said he pulled the video off the Internet “out of respect for the people in the video because of the (IG) investigation. We expect they need to check out the facts and prove the innocence of the people involved in the allegations.”

“I am not a lawyer,” he explained when asked about military regulations on religious gatherings in government offices. “I am not equipped to interpret the regulations. But we got permission from the Pentagon, so I don’t believe people there would violate the regulations. The people in the video were speaking personally for themselves about how the Christian Embassy has helped them. We do live in a world of religious freedom. The Pentagon is helping us, as it does help people of different faiths, [to] worship as they choose.”

A spokeswoman for the Pentagon chaplaincy office, Cynthia Smith, said: “The Department of Defense does not endorse any one religion or religious organization. The DOD provides free access of religion for all members of the military services.” The department has received the complaint, she added, but will not speculate on its outcome, and doesn’t confirm ongoing investigations.

——–

Thomas “Dennie” Williams is a former state and federal court reporter, specializing in investigations, for the Hartford Courant for over three decades. Since the end of the Persian Gulf War in 1991, he has written hundreds of articles on wartime hazardous exposures such as depleted-uranium munitions; the controversial anthrax vaccine, and the consistent failures of the federal government to assist sick veterans of the wars in Iraq, Afghanistan and the Balkans.

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All we need are a few generals who belong to the CoFSM and we are in.

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i love you.

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Erin Dec 30th, 2006 at 9:01 pm

i love you.
.
The FSM, loves you too!
Keep the faith, and Happy New Year!
Ramen

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Hello.
I’m very much interested in joining a new religious cult, since I quit the one with which I was raised (they called themselves The Baptists). However I would like to know about the FSM views of women. I couldn’t find it on the website (because I’m too lazy to look). The Baptists are very strict about Their womens. For instance, a good woman should wear closed toe pump heels, with tan stockings, long denim skirts onry & XXL turtle neck sweaters with alot of sequence. Also, I really hate to cook and clean and tithe…… and I’m belligerent, lazy & fond of tequila & men. Furthermore, baptist men are less than “giving” during marital intercourse (if’n you know what I mean). What improvements could a woman expect from FSM?

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WOMANS IS FOR FUCKING!!!!!!!

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@cail
“Also, I really hate to cook and clean and tithe…… and I’m belligerent, lazy & fond of tequila & men. Furthermore, baptist men are less than “giving” during marital intercourse (if’n you know what I mean). What improvements could a woman expect from FSM?”

Hi cail. Welcome to the CoFSM.
The church warmly welcomes new wenches and you sound like you have all the admirable attributes to become a true Pastafarian wench. His Noodleyness does not differentiate His blessing between genders. This evidenced by the provision of male strippers in Pastafarian Heaven. Alcoholic beverages other than those which gush forth from the beer volcanoes are also available.
The Pastafarian Commandments will inform you a little more.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of_the_Flying_Spaghetti_Monster#The_Eight_.22I.27d_Really_Rather_You_Didn.27ts.22
Welcome
RAmen

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you sound perfect!

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Arrrgh it does my loins good to hear from such fine Wenches. All be welcome aboard this pirate’s vessel.

arrrgghh @ Wendy –
I must buy that board game you posted awhile back. Did you buy it?

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The Lair has a place in it’s heart for the CoFSM. http://lairofdisconcertment.com/blog/cofsm-open-letter-to-ks/

I have included a file which people may download that contains the open letter. It is in .doc format. Please send notice to LoD Admin if you wish this file to be removed.

May His Noodly Appendage save us all,

Zhaar

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As I am the author of the two books Dr. Ouellette’s Pain Relief Manual and it’s companion volume, Cheating on the Pain Relief Diet, I would suggest that recommending rice pasta to people when celebrating religious rituals would go a long way toward eliminating back pain and other pains caused by gluten.

I would like to point out to your readers that rice pasta is a more healthy meal than wheat pasta for a lot of people. Rice pasta does not have gluten in it like wheat, rye, and barley. I would think that the Flying Pasta Monster would have known this and have fashioned itself out of the more digestible rice rather than the more common but deadly, (for many people) wheat.

All the best in the new year.
Dr. Victor Jean Ouellette, DC, MS
http://www.PainReliefDiet.com

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Hmmm…rice noodles, my favourite. All those asian dishes….hmmm…yummm.
Dinner time :)

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Rice noodles go great with beer!
If we don’t get some fundies in here ASAP!
I don’t know what I’ll do?

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I was turned on to your site when my friend and chef Harry O made a sauce that made me see Jesus Christ when it dawned upon me that Jesus appeared because the pasta that was awaiting the sauce was actually his father, God. Your site makes a world of sense and I will forever be a follower of the flying Spaghetti Monster. Just a questions though, would ziti be considered a “saint” of sorts? Saint Ziti, Saint Rigatoni, etc.

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Welcome Pat B,
Please do stick around!
And may you be forever touched!
Ramen

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Im sorry for pointing this out but one of the fundamental beliefs of pastafarianism contradicts the evidence provided with this letter. If fsm changes results and data how can you use a graph which shows data for numbers of pirates and global temperature as any sort of evidence. The whole idea of fsm is totally dismissable as a pile of balls because he was apparently there changing the results as that data was collected therefore it cannot be used as true evidence because the results have been changed. Any sort of explanation to this is welcome i will find a way to dismiss everything you throw my way. Oh btw how does it feel to be outsmarted by a 19 year old boy. I know that fsm was only created as a way to put money in your pocket through sales of the gospel and other fsm merchandise. “pastafarians” are nothing more than a bunch of fools who fell for your joke.

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Millsy. Hmmm, your tone and content appears somewhat familiar! Interesting that you see the need to include your age. “A cunning ploy, Watson?” … “No shit, Sherlock!”
Looks like a Daffodil! Smells like a Daffodil! Could it be?

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alchemist …..that still explains nothing

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unless you are actually saying that it is all a pile of balls…..

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It means that you sound like a precocious, conceited little prick that goes by the name TheLaughingMan. He thinks he’s very wise and oh so much more intelligent than us thickos!
If that isn’t you, then be sure to stop by later, say 1800GMT, when a few more people are posting. You could be entertaining – in a christians / lions kind of way.

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“Millsy” is nothing more than a fool who fell for our joke.

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okay will do

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damn it! The new post thing says the precious little flower posted after me but I don’t see it!

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Welcome Millsy, 19 eh’, That’s cool.
I hope you find what you are looking for at the CoFSM, we’re a friendly lot, and we will help you to overcome your problems.
Peace, Love,
Ramen

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No sign of Einstein yet?

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how disappointing!

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Not half Beastly, been looking forward to being edumacated by a person who will “dismiss everything you throw my way”. Mayhap he doesn’t understand the time of the Greenwich meridian? Just watch him turn up at 1800EST

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“Just watch him turn up at 1800EST”
.
Would that be in the AM or in the PM?

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“Just watch him turn up at 1800EST”
.
Would that be in the AM or in the PM?
.
Hahahahaha – he probably thinks we spelled east wrong. At this very moment he’s trying to find 1800 on a compass.

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hahahahaha

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Peter, meant to ask this a bit ago, short term memory can get a ….whatever.
What do you do during the winter months. If I’ve got it right you’re pretty on a similar latitude to Spain. What’s the grape season like? You see, it’s not just Americans who have a poor idea about the rest of the world (no offense), we Brits are pretty poor too.

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Alchemist Jan 10th, 2007 at 12:56 pm

Peter, meant to ask this a bit ago, short term memory can get a ….whatever.
What do you do during the winter months. If I’ve got it right you’re pretty on a similar latitude to Spain. What’s the grape season like? You see, it’s not just Americans who have a poor idea about the rest of the world (no offense), we Brits are pretty poor too.
.
What do we do in the winter months? We freeze our arses off is what we do!
Just kidding, the grapes are done for now. Picking, tying and pruning the vines, is pretty much done by mid Nov.
Skiing is a big attraction here. We have the Lake Erie shoreline, to our north.
And the Allegany mountains to our south.
So we get a fair share of lake produced snow, (cold air, warm water mix) with some big ol’ hills to ski down.
A lot of the local economy relies on tourism/recreational income.
.
However, and this is no joke. The lack of pirates has caused an extremely warm season this year, with almost no snowfall to date. The chalets are hurting for lack of business.
We only hope that the weather will take a sharp turn ASAP.
There used to be steel and auto industries here, (I’m 80 miles from Buffalo NY).
But the global ecomomy has taken care of that. So people have adapted to new ways of making money, relying on the weather is tough for some.
Of course Healthcare is at an all time high. People are sicker now, more then ever before! heh heh
At any rate, I hope I answered the question? Without to much ramble.
.
PS Wanna buy some Miracle water? haha

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Thanks Peter. Your not wrong about the weather. I found mushrooms on the back lawn last week (not the good ones, mores the pity) and the Campanula were still flowering well into late December.
.
Yup, the global market has f***** us up too. Used to be a thriving mining, textile and chemical industry. All gone. The last one was my bread and butter. I’ve had to diversify into other areas. I work for myself as a specialist consultant ( what do you do for a living? Well, I tell people what they already know, charge a fortune and try to justify my fees :))
Don’t start me on health care, by the time these bastards have finished we won’t have a National Health Service. I’ve had a private dentist for ten years. Yet still I pay a stupid amount of National Insurance for the privilege of having to pay again if I want to be seen within a year. I’m thinking of private health insurance too, but I really don’t want to go that way. The NHS was a wonderful idea, why do we screw with things that work.
.
Could probably use the Miracle Water – cheaper than Alzheimer’s drugs!

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Maybe some of our visitors would prefer something a little more showy to give them a little more status. Miracle water is good Peter, but it doesn’t really say ” look I’m special”
I have a super lovely range bridges and towers for sale at present. All of which are available at incredibly low post xmas prices. Personal name inscription included free.
Many also include written verification of a religious history. Get yours now before they all walk out the door! Extra special prices for YECs.

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“Alchemist Jan 10th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
I’ve had to diversify into other areas. I work for myself as a specialist consultant ( what do you do for a living? Well, I tell people what they already know, charge a fortune and try to justify my fees :))”
.
Haha, I think we just may be twins!
The wife and I have a small company, which is a Consulting firm.
We teach/show Small Businesses, how to maintain/grow, with whatever it is they do.
We sketch up marketing plans, help with tax filing. Teach/show them what their overhead vs income is. Basic Business, common sense 101, but we charge a ridiculous fee for our service. And they like it! :)

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Way cool Nikkiee!
But do you have a link…
http://www.peterpopoff.org/
heh heh heh

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Not yet Peter. Only ste up shop this morning. Have a completely new range available as of half an hour ago ( don’t those Egyptians just love to haggle over prices!) here are some pics. Note these items have not been priced for sale as of yet. Will supply documentation to verify that they were built by Jeesus.
http://www.pyramidcam.com/gallery/gallery.php

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Err I meant “Jesus”. Damn.. I’ll have to have all those certificates reprinted!

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Alchemist – don’t even go there bitching about the NHS – that is MY job! And I hope I still have one by next year! At the moment I am having to write 16 “reflective pieces of work” which justify what I have learned in the last year in order to keep my job – we used to get study days to learn things, but now they won’t pay for them so we have to use our own time to bullshit in order not to have our jobs disappear under us.
Welcome to the Brave New World.
Sorry about your job too – hope the new one goes well for you.

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I considered going into snake oil sales. However after seeing the number of salesmen on other forums, selling that product already, I figured the profits would be better with these bigger ticket items.

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“Wench Nikkiee Jan 10th, 2007 at 2:42 pm

Not yet Peter. Only ste up shop this morning. Have a completely new range available as of half an hour ago ( don’t those Egyptians just love to haggle over prices!) here are some pics. Note these items have not been priced for sale as of yet. Will supply documentation to verify that they were built by Jeesus.
http://www.pyramidcam.com/gallery/gallery.php”
.
Good show! haha!
Don’t forget, if there is anything I can help you out with there, just let me know.
I do what I can for my friends!
Ramen

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Alchemist, Booty and all you other UK residents.
I’m currently looking to set up franchises in the UK. I figure if Truth in Science can sell a product there, which basically consists of air, my merchandise shoud sell like hotcakes.
Now there’s a thought Peter, have you thought about diversifying into selling Miracle Air, to compliment your miracle, mighty mighty miracle water?

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Miracle Air could also be used as a guitar or for mime ect ect.

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“Miracle Air”
Now I like that idea!
The thing is how to market it? Should it be air that was only exhaled by monks…
thus being holy, or something? This requires much thought!
Ramen

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BTW
This is a bad chat thread.

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today 15.00.20 is pretty.

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Hi Nikkiee!
Yeah, why not? We have all sorts of crap on sale over here, and we are quite used to paying much more than any other country for stuff too, so price is not a problem – just tell us it is only 3 times as much as they are spending on it in Europe and the USA and it will fly off the shelf!

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Wench Nikkiee Jan 10th, 2007 at 3:15 pm

BTW
This is a bad chat thread.
.
Is that good or bad?

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Then there is Miracle Beer
http://www.jesusoftheweek.com/jesii/421/index.html

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Wench Nikkiee Jan 10th, 2007 at 3:37 pm

Then there is Miracle Beer
http://www.jesusoftheweek.com/jesii/421/index.html
.
hahaha, Most excellent!!!

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Catch up time. Booty, thanks, it’s going ok at the moment. I have the EU to thank for that. Lots and lots of silly regulations that go against the spirit of our Health and Safety at Work etc Act. KerChing.
.
I love the NHS, my dad worked for it all his life, believed in it with all his heart – he was a District General Administrator (hiss) – gave him a heart attack at 54. Survived but never went back to work. Mum was an Assistant Matron at 32, Ophthalmology.
You should hear them. A close friend died recently, a Consultant Ophthalmologist (he was 96 and quite ready to bugger off) – the conditions he had to endure! Well, I’m sure you can guess what the folks felt.
It really does break my heart when I see the conditions that exist for staff and patients. I briefly worked as a Chemist (not Pharmacist) for them in the early 90s. I loved it.
.
Peter – spooky or what. I just tell people how not to kill their employees. It ain’t rocket science (note to any prospective clients – It’s very, very hard. I mean, really hard). It’s more like “er, don’t you think the potassium cyanide should be in a locked cabinet and not, for example, stood on your desk with the top open?”
.
Nikkiee – bad as in to long to load or depressing?

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@Peter Popoff Jan 10th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
“This is a bad chat thread.
Is that good or bad?”
*Shrug* Long load! All those HA and FSM repeats remind me of retard thread.

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This doesn’t have anything to do with the discussion at hand; I just wanted to let people know that there are Flying Spaghetti Monster silicone bracelets for sale on eBay! Spread the word!

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@Alchemist
“It’s more like “er, don’t you think the potassium cyanide should be in a locked cabinet and not, for example, stood on your desk with the top open?””
.
Do you tell them to advise their employees not to lick the spoon?

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@Peter Popoff,
If you thought miracle air and miracle beer were great, wait till you see this great invention… MIRACLE STICKS!!! That’s right, inhale the miracle gas from these sticks and feel great about yourself*SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: MIRACLE STICKS, WHILE HAVING NO RELATION TO CIGARRETES ARE SURPRISINGLY ALMOST IDENTICAL IN EVERY ASPECT, BUT CIGARRETES ARE BAD, MIRACEL STICKS ARE GOOD… VERY GOOD*

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hahaha. No, not quite that bad. I have had to advise a lab. manager (??) that mouth pipetting wasn’t really the done thing these days!

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I can safely say that this site has truly opened my eyes to the glory of Him of the easily digestible carbohydrates. And meatballs. O how I am changed.

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So Nikkiee,
You get this Biz up and running yet?

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Having a little trouble with shipping on those latest Egyptian orders Peter. You know where I can hire an Ark, maybe?

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Morning Alchemist! Your name makes a lot more sense now!
Your folks sound like good people, my mum was a neonatal intensive care nurse – always wanted to be a midwife but having four children herself she never got round to it!
Tell your folks there are still a lot of nurses and doctors out there who really care that it is all going down the tubes and we are doing our best to look after the poor patients while it is all going tits up – I know an awful lot of people who just shrug and get on with doing what they’ve always done, because it is all they know how too and they just need to be there trying to help.
The new business sounds frustrating! People are so stupid! I spend half my life moving catheter bags down and trying to explain to people that water doesn’t flow uphill!
Morning Nikkiee and Peter (or whatever it is where you are!) Good luck with the shipping – wasn’t it Mount Ararat where the Ark was left – might still be there, worth a look! Still, from what I remember it wasn’t very big…..
I had a dream last night that my little boy (age 4) was smoking a joint – must have been one of your Miracle Sticks Peter!

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Hi Booty :)
Not sure if you are still around. We’re having serious problems in Queensland with our health system as well. I won’t go into it, but no doubt similar. Two places govts seem to put the least amount of money into, that need it the most….health and education!
My niece is a nurse. She’s one of those that will cover others shifts plus, she wouldn’t leave her old job at a nursing home for a few months when she started work at the hospital as they were very short staffed and kept telling her how much they needed her!
With too small children as well, most of us were a little worried about her really running herself into the ground! Governments know too, that most teachers and health workers are masochists for their jobs!

@Pint ‘o Harveys Jan 10th, 2007 at 4:25 pm
“I can safely say that this site has truly opened my eyes to the glory of Him of the easily digestible carbohydrates. And meatballs. O how I am changed.”

Hi there :) welcome aboard this mighty, mighty, (as mighty as Peter’s miracle water), ship.

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Hi Nikkiee!
I am on a day off today :)
But I have my 4 year old with me, so it is a bit hectic!
I will try and get on for a few minutes here and there.
We are not going out today as it is gale force winds and teeming rain out there!
It is 10:30 am here and Isaac is still in his PJ’s!
I got dressed, but only because I wanted to wash my PJ’s!
Working in the health service sucks in lots of ways, but it is so satisfying when you help someone feel that bit better, they have you over a barrel too because you don’t want to leave your friends in the shit (literally!)
Ho hum! I will get my reward in heaven – by the beer volcano!
Got to go –