“My friend and I noticed your plea for endorsements from individuals who share both an academic background and faith in the FSM. I’m an academic, but not a scientist, while he is a scientist, but not an academic. We both, however, feel strongly that denying children an education regarding what we know to be the true, noodly nature of the universe is a travesty of human progress. It is apparent to my friend that, from a scientific perspective, no other explanation of existence is conceivable. And he converted to FSMism from atheism. It is apparent to me, as an educator, that to not teach this truth alongside other “theories” of our universe’s creation will cause irreparable harm to our children, escalating to the point at which an entire generation will be ignorant to the noodly appendage operating all around them, inevitably plunging the world and all those upon it into a new dark age. Thank you, Bobby Henderson, for offering an alternative to that horrible fate to which the Kansas State Board of Education would subject our society. Thank you, Bobby Henderson, for saving the world.”
– Matthew L. Scully, aerospace engineer
– Daniel M. Gallagher, M.A., educator
“If intelligent design (ID) is based on science, not faith, then it should fulfill the same criteria as any other scientific theory. One of the most important of these is Occam’s Razor, the principle that the best explanation for a given phenomenon is the one which is simplest, or to put it another way, raises the least new questions. Most ID theories fail the test of Occam’s Razor, because they do not define what entity is doing the designing, or they imply that some sort of god is responsible, which raises the question of whether this god actually exists. However, Flying Spaghetti Monsterism explains clearly who the intelligent designer is, and furthermore, unlike the case for god, there is ample experimental proof that spaghetti does actually exist. I therefore recommend that if ID is to be taught in schools, it should be made clear to students that FSM is by far the most plausible of the many competing ID theories. RAmen.“
– S. Bilson-Thompson, PhD (Australia)
“I applaud Mr. Henderson for finally coming forward with a public acknowledgement of our fine religion. Many of you doubt our sincerity and legitimacy and many of you are often unaware of your inadvertant worship. Our most reverend of hymns, “On Top of Spaghetti” is ritualistucally sung by over 75% of the youth of America. Most of these children willingly take of the sacraments of spaghettios. Look into their eyes and you will see the truth. Many have been turned from the true way but He is willing to bring them back into His noodly embrace. As a Doctrate of Comparative Religions, I find it appauling that a small-minded minority is promoting their theories over older more proven scientific principals. May He forgive you for your insolance.“
– Gwendolynn Sue Daniels, PhD.
“As an orientalist trained in anthropology, I can assure you that the Flying Spaghetti Monster-theory is by no means ridiculous. It is, in fact, as solid as Genesis, the Aztec legends or Far Eastern stories about the creation of the world, and it is not more absurd.
It’s important that this’ll be included in the upcoming new school curriculum – the Flying Spaghetti Monster theory could well incite people to think about the discrepancies of other models. I am surprised people can even think of advocating ID – how will we raise the next generations’ scientists without any basical knowledge of facts and theories? Your demand to include the Flying Spaghetti Monster in school curricula is reasonable, not insulting and completely legitimate. FSM-ism would do no harm, and be a tasty alternative for fanatic Christianism.“
– Simon Harrison Chen, Lic. (London, UK)
“Thank you for enlightening the world about the true creator of the universe and everything in it. As a person with a doctorate in Molecular Biophysics and Biochemistry from Yale University (1974) and, thus, a better than average understanding of evolution and Darwinism, I would like to endorse, wholeheartedly, your efforts to get schools to include the REAL truth about ID and about the intelligent designer, none other than the FSM, when they teach ID in their science classes. RAMEN, “
–Ann M. Körner Ph.D.
“I am not only a Ph.D. holder and mathematics professor, but also a practicing Hindu, long time Christian, devotee of FSM, and wine connoiseur, but also a part – time crab pot pirate practicing off Vashon Island, WA., primarily in July.
I can attest that since I have begun my work there the mean temperature has declined most pleasantly.”
–Roy Smith Ph.D
“As a biodiversity researcher, it has long been clear to me that there must have been something transcending mere variation, heritability, time and differential survival behind all these different sorts of animals and plants – why this ridiculous redundancy? But your revelation of a noodly appendage guiding all things has supplied the missing recipe for truly understanding this interwoven chaos of diversity. What could be plainer, once one has gazed on one of His manifestations, gilded with ground Parmesan, bathed in the blood of tomatoes, hallowed with the incense of basil and oregano, than the conclusion that only a transcendent being such as He could have conceived of the profoundly tangled connections that are revealed by researches into ecology and evolution. A personal relationship with Pasta should not be an option – it should be mandated, and be available on special Friday and Saturday nights.“ –Dr Mark Hutchinson (Adelaide, South Australia)
“As geneticist, my personal belief in the creator of everything was so far, that he resembles a pink invisible flying rabbit circling the earth just opposite the sun, and soundlessly squeaking “42″. In consequence, this creature is undetectable even by the most advanced human techniques. Furthermore, the ability of being pink and invisible at the same time provides proof for real allmightyness. However, Pastafarianism seems to be much more substantiated, and is not violating Occam’s razor (see comment of S. Bilson-Thompson), and follows pure philosophical logic, as colleague Brian D. Rabern has pointed out previously. Therefore, I am sure that the members of the Kansas Board of Education, who gave logic a particular importance, will honor these undisputable facts by including FSM in their curriculum, thereby setting highest educational standards also for non-US countries. – Additionally, the invisible pink rabbit hypothesis might be discussed if there could be some time spared in the pupil’s schedule. RAmen “ –Jobst Meyer, PhD, Professor of Behavioral Genetics
“Just to add my endorsement of Pastafarianism as a nutritious and delicious alternative to ID and other forms of creationism. While I myself would prefer to keep all such religious views out of the classroom, if I am forced to teach one as an alternative to evolution, I will certainly choose Pastafarianism.“
–Gerard S. Harbison, Professor of Chemistry, UNL, Lincoln, Nebraska
“If intelligent design (one of my favourite oxymorons after military intelligence and friendly fire) is to be taught in biology lessons, then such crossover of subjects should be expanded! Haiku should be taught in motor mechanics, the making of dovetail joints should be taught in mathematics and cell structure and function in French classes. All of this is as equally logical as the teaching of things written down in a book by Middle Eastern asylum seekers in North Africa thousands of years ago in Biology.
Until today when I read your site I was an unworthy atheist who believed in nothing but reason and evidence based theory but now I understand that this was now just part of the FSM’s plan for me! I now pledge my research from this day hence to understanding the deeper mysteries of the FSM’s creation.“
РSi̫n R.Wall PhD, Cardiff, Wales
“The first bottle of Lambrusco I chugged in High School some 30 years ago washed my full immersion baptism into the Baptist faith away. The second bottle I chugged that night resulted in a pasta “vision” that, sadly, I was too blind and covered in noodles to understand. Now, after a long career as a Biologist and educator, I see the light. If you form a curriculum committee, keep me in mind.”
– Jeff Young, Ph.D.
“As a regular contributor to the scientific literature in the area of Industrial and Organizational Psychology and Associate Editor of one of the top 10 journals in the field, it seems that many of the most important contributions to science involve unification of seemingly discrepant theoretical positions and bodies of data into larger, more unified “Big Picture†theories. We have witnessed this kind of scientific progress in physics for decades and now we are faced with similar promising prospects of an integrative perspective that links biology, metaphysics, and the culinary arts into one overarching theory of how everything got to be the way it is. The theory of evolution (the biological contribution) is a widely accepted and scientifically grounded explanation of the Earth’s current biodiversity, yet it falls short of an explanation of how everything got started in the first place. Intelligent Design (ID, the metaphysical contribution) argues convincingly that things are just too complicated for things to have started themselves and effectively argues that, therefore, there must have been a designer. Unfortunately, ID falls sadly short of identifying the designer him- or herself. The Theory of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism (the Pastafarian contribution from the culinary arts) presents a very convincing and parsimonious account of the identity and nature of the Intelligent Designer himself and, I think, creates an exciting potential for a Unified Theory of It All. Needless to say, any public school curriculum would be negligently incomplete and shamelessly biased if it did not present a fair and balanced treatment of the three intellectual pillars represented by Evolution, Intelligent Design, and Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.”
– Charles E. Lance, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology
“I wish to thank you for opening my eyes (and for making my mouth water). I have already referred to our leader the FSM in both my classes this quarter–Theories of Crime and Deviance & Capital Punishment–as the role of religion (not the roll of garlic) is paramount in explaining crime and punishment. I look forward to further developments in the liturgy in time for my Law & Society course (not the antipasto course). I wish to alert you to today’s class discussion, we we briefly considered both the FSM and yesterday’s article in the Journal of Religion and Society. There appears to be a strong direct correlation between a nation’s belief in “A Creator” and very high levels of social pathologies. Either belief in a creator is dangerous to a society’s health, or we have just been following false creators. Therefore, it is even more crucial to teach Pastafarianism along w/ ID. The ramifications reach all the way to the Social Problem of Order, not just the elimination of doctors from Kansas, Dover PA, & Cobb County GA.”
–Tom Durkin, PhD
“As a life-long subscriber to the scientific method, I find myself astonished at your succinctly unifying theory of the origins of matter and life in the Universe. I find myself unable to express the depths of my admiration and beg to offer you my accolades for your unequaled contribution to the field of general knowledge. That which eluded the greatest minds of humanity, the grand unifying theory of _everything_, is now laid bare for all to acknowledge; its brilliant simplicity far surpassing the inelegance of the Standard Model, the tacked-on nature of the Cosmological Constant, the inobsevability of M-branes and the obviousness of Quantum Gravity. It is perfectly derivable that the FSM is the duality of, on one hand, the driving force behind the imaginary-to-real temporal transition (falsely referred to as the Big Bang), and on the other hand, the impetus behind the universal entropy reduction (falsely referred to as Evolution).
It is my sincere hope however, that you may acknowledge that the images of Him, are mere projections onto our consciousness of the rapturous and divine cross-dimensional entity that He must represent. It is highly unlikely, and strikes this writer as somewhat jejune that His true image would be not dissimilar to that of a $5.95 lunch special at Belinda’s.
Thank you for restoring one man’s faith in science, organized religion and the general superiority of the Italian cuisine in a single afternoon.”
– Dmitry Kaplan, PhD
“I am a university researcher and lecturer in Sweden, which is a frighteningly secularised society. The need for the restoration of faith is particularly acute here. Amongst the religious minority, many cling to the exultant euphoria and collective catharses of pentacostal ritual. This fulfils a important need in this country’s emotionally and socially inhibited society. Many others uphold the imported religions of their immigrant backgrounds, which adds welcome variation to the palette of human beliefs and dogma. In Sweden there are strong inverse statistical correlations between drug abuse, youth delinquency and crime when plotted against the number of church goers. It is common for students to point out what to them are an obvious causal effects when presented with such data. I find myself standing before a clawing need for a faith based, postconstructive curriculum as an alternative to the secular and scientific programmes that totally dominate this countries universities.
The Kansas School Board’s embracing of the intelligent design constitutes a step into the abyss of rhetorical fallacy, a step that I believe would be embraced by a the majority of pupils if impressed upon them in a sufficiently charismatic and ebullient fashion. It seems to me though that the board have overestimated the abilities of science teachers to dupe and cajole pupils into accepting the content of their curriculum, and that intelligent design would more efficiently be forced on innocent minds through the use of professional sales personal, spin doctors, Hollywood writers, politicians or priests.
I myself have looked into a number of belief systems in an attempt to find a candidate for fulfilling students’ clawing need for simple answers that explain the complexity of the world. I find none as delightfully absurd and blatantly simplistic as Pastafarianism. It is clear that this is what I shall be teaching my students when they draw simplistic, uncritical, fact denying, authoritarian, dogmatic, or contradictory conclusions from incomplete knowledge. Pastafarianism beautifully illustrates how easily and arbitrarily specious truth can be constructed and it is the perfect complement to the stolid scientific approach.
Until such time as a new era of human enlightenment under a new prophet transfixes my attention, Pastafarianism will become a lecture hall word — a word through which I can offer those clawing students the sense of security and faith in the ridiculous that they need in order to revert to the path of rationality, uncertainty and the systematic search for truth.
To this end, there is also a place in the scientific curriculum for intelligent design, it’s just that Pastafarianism fulfils that role so much better.”
–Guy Davies Ph.D. Computer Science. Royal Institute of Technology
My motto will be “Pirates against global warming”
“Registered Nurses are trained to be respectful and supportive of their patients’ various cultural and religious beliefs and practices. In my practice, I care for the elderly, typically in the few remaining days of their lives. I have seen, first hand, everything from Voodoo death rituals to the classic Catholic prayer hoping for a miracle. I may well offend ALL faiths, but let me speak of religious diversity and miracles.
I know this is not scientific, but I can conclude, based upon massive first hand anecdotal evidence, that these many religions and faiths, despite their seemingly different dogmas, all worship the same God. If all of humanity could see my patients fully exercising their faiths as I have, it would lead them to that same conclusion, even though it is only based on “wimpy” anecdotal evidence, and not on a double-blind clinical trial that would satisfy scientific rigor. On the topic of miracles, any soccer mom who had to feed the whole team will tell you, Jesus could not have fed the masses with a single fish. It makes more sense that he accomplished that miracle with a giant, steaming bowl of spaghetti. I’ll bet if we examine other miracles, we will often find a noodly appendage invoking His influence.
So, I wholeheartedly support the concept of equal time for all divine theories in the classroom, especially FSMism. If we, as a species, could finally realize that all forms of God are one and the same God, perhaps religious wars would end, and we could truly love one another as most religions indicate. Your demand for equal presentation of FSMism in schools appears, on the surface, to be self serving for Pastafarians. However, you are really helping mankind in ways you may not be aware of.
Andrew D Pohlman, RN“
What about freaturing the evidence provided by the Raman Noodle Contest held last year. Who ever won that? I think it was Science Creative Quarterly or somthing that was sponsoring it. Rather than an endorsement we could have real science proof presented.
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A delightfully ironic rebuttal of ID by reductio absurdum hurrah!!! To my mind the real strength (and this leads me to believe in the literal truth of Pastafarianism) is its implicit prediction of super-string (or more accurately noodle) theory, where we before us a divine image of the great ones influence on our cosmos manifest in its true glory. I look forward to the time (surely imminent) when great minds like Ed Witten will succeed in unifying noodle theory with the “meatbally/pasta source†aspect of the larger scale universe often referred to as general relativity.
I bow down before his noodly appendages (N Hodges PhD etc)
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There are several scientific proofs that Darwinism is seriously flawed theory. There is no proof of evolution! Why evolution does not exist?
Facts:
- I do not believe in it.
- Nobody has been able to explain Darwinism and evolution to me (and books about it are too long).
- I am an idiot, my parents were idiots, my children are the same idiots, too. No evolution is observed.
These undeniable facts lead to two rock solid conclusions:
- There is no evolution at all.
- So FSM created man in His own image. So FSM is idiot, too. So ID is not Intelligent Design, but Idiots Design.
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Is it acceptable to regurgitate noodles or indeed pasta of any kind ?
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Would someone kindly answer my question. Is it acceptable to regurgitate noodles or not? I am greatly troubled .
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The fact is…not one of you knows, how dissapointing.
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AAlleengoou – what ever turns you on,
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The FSM has not told us that it is not allowed therefore one can only assume it is.
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In my Research Methods in Education class, I always make note of the sticker placed inside biology textbooks in Cobb County, GA, by their Board of Education. These stickers warn that evolution is “only” a theory. I warn students that people who don’t know the difference between a theory, a hypothesis, and a wild ass guess shouldn’t be entrusted with the education of our children.
I’ve always felt that it would be an ironic miracle if teachers were actually forced to “teach the controversy” and did so by teaching Darwin, then ID, then the Navaho creation story, then the Hindu creation story, then the Inuit creation story, then…well, you get the idea. I am pleased to say that the FSM version of creation is as scientific as any of them, with the exception of Darwin. I plan on pointing out Pastaism as an excellent example of faith in the absence of evidence, just like Christianity and Judiasm.
Steve Cramer, Ph.D.
College of Education
University of Georgia
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Wow, I never realised how much true evidence there is to support this theory of FSM.
In my time as a science teacher in England, evolution has to be taught, which I have no objection to, but the second we have to start talking about ID I shall put this case forward nd I’m sure my head will jump at the chance for us to teach it alongside evolution and ID.
Just one thing I’m not sure about – does this mean we cant eat spaghetti anymore (or is it like eating bread and being told it’s actually the body of Christ? Does this mean that their God is actually a cake?)
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Sur Oaf BSc,
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Of course you can eat spaghetti. Partaking of His Noodly Goodness is a basic pillar of our faith.
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OEJ
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Sur Oaf BSC
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‘Does this mean that their God is actually a cake?’
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Ah, you’re clearly referring to the reclusive Paraguyan Bun Worshipping tribes. Yes, it does.
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And eating spaghetti is *strongly* to be recommended to Pastafarians. After all, You Are What You Eat…
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Thank you One Eye Jack and J, I shall enjoy my spag bol even more now knowing it the rightious food.
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wo wo wow, what hell? are you seriously believing in this bull crap it’s not a religion ( loved the new york dolls video awesome) but that vidoe of the show. all the people there had something in commin…………………………………………………………………………………………they were drunk off there ass. I support you on that you speak the truth when it comes to creationism, and intellegent design, But really do people belive in this; seriously im clueless on how people believe in a flying spaghetti monster? please answer in a comment, and no im not single sorry lol.
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@the manwcih
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i know there isn’t a FSM. the reason i say there is for satire. some of the main reasons i’m here is for the humor and to speak against ID and creation. the FSM is a parody of the arguments put out by those silly creationists.
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thanks for the support for going against intelligent design and creationism. those kind of people are the only people i truly will say i hate.
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thanks jesus christ you answered my question gracias, and yes i dont like intellegent design being taught in scinece
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@the manwich
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glad to be of help
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:P go to evedence 1 go see the truth about people who are serious about this site
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Peng missed an important point when stating darwinism’s inherent flaws. The essential flaw of Darwinism is that Darwin didn’t die for our sins. If he had, he might very well have risen to the heights of popularity as the venerable Jesus Christ, or greater still, Elvis Presly.
An interesting side-observation: Elvis and Jesus, the only two historical figures to have had followers claim first-hand witnesses of their trancendence of death and subsequent resurrection.
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@macafeek
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why would darwin need to die for our sins, he was just a biologist. not everybody is in the world is interested in biology (even though i am) so he wouldn’t need to die for anybody who was suffering. trust me, i don’t see why he what makes people even view him as a religious figure, he was just a very important scientist. but i don’t know what your position is so i won’t say much more unless you post again.
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if someone is just a biologist who laid the cornerstone for a groundbreaking discover in science, how is that creating a religion. anyone who says that evolution is a religion (lets refrain from saying darwinism) must also think that gravity is a religion too, for that’s a theory too.
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@macafeek
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nevermind, you were referring to peng, a previous post. i kind of misread your comments. i’ve been doing that a lot lately.
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i’ve just never been on this post, never got to read everybodies thouoghts
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the elvis comparison is funny. maybe elvis is jesus. after all, he was king
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man, i have to read comments better before posting on anything
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There there Jesus…
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People have been doing it with what you said for the last 2000 years. Hell, they think you said celibate instead of celebrate. Poor fools.
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@jingles
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so true
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whatever happened to those sexy missionaries?
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I don’t know, but here’s some other ones.
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http://www.venganza.org/spread-the-word/halloween_2006/
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Unfortunately, they already seem to have found their pirates… :( oh well.
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You guys are nuts – cool though
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As a father of an 8 year old, university instructor, and elementary school psychologist I too agree that the FSM theory is just as valid as ID. My only complain about the FSM theory as presented is that I have seen no mention of his mother the Virgin (olive oil) Marinara.
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As a vegetarian I feel insulted by the blasphemous concept that the FSM “meatballs” are made of animal protein, if this is so then FSMism promotes violence to animals… unless of course the “meatballs” are made of soy protein.
Can somebody enlighten me on this important matter?
Confused
PS: I could understand if the meat is Kosher.
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Just use the soya!
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Hey
You guyz ever worry that in 1000 years, there will be people who will take the teaching the wrong way.
Not eat pasta, have splits over whether meatballs are holier than spaggetti itself, etc.
I worry
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I also worry about sectarian violence concerning pastafarianism. Already, the Ramenists are trying to force their false Ramen prophet over the one true Flying Spaghetti Monster. Seriously, who ever heard of Ramen and Meatballs?
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Behzad Feb 6th, 2007 at 2:49 pm
Hey
You guyz ever worry that in 1000 years, there will be people who will take the teaching the wrong way.
Not eat pasta, have splits over whether meatballs are holier than spaggetti itself, etc.
I worry
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Yep! I’m right there with you on this on Behzad.
I’ve lost sleep worrying about this!
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‘And God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Pasta, that all who should believe in Him and should savor his Pasta should not hunger after Fast Food but shall enjoy everlasting Spaghetti and Ravioli and Lasagna, yea, even unto the seventeenth generation shall they clamor ‘Oh, God, thou art good, and may we all please have a second serving. Amen and Amen.’ Separate checks, please.
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“He gave His only begotten Pasta”
That was Cheesus.
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Christianity isn’t a theory, not a religion, it’s a myth!
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As a new convert to the Church of the FSM (praise ye all His Noodly Appendage), I was struck by the revelation that, external appearances aside, we truly are Created in His Image.
For what else do our nerves, blood vessels, and intestines most resemble, if not His Holy Noodles? Our brain and spinal cord, a beautiful mass of spaghetti lovingly bathed in salinous cerebrospinal fluid, like the Salted Cooking Water in His Cosmic Pasta Pot. Our most vital organs, our hearts and gonads, by which His Noodliness allows us to sustain and propagate life, are but imitations of His Glorious Meatballs. Our life’s blood, coursing through us like His Magnificent Marinara – every red blood cell a tomato in miniature, each white blood cell a microscopic sprinkle of parmesan, and platelets scattered throughout like flecks of oregano and basil.
What this reveals, aside from DIRECT and INDISPUTABLE EVIDENCE of His Intelligent Design, is that bigotry and racial prejudice are truly antithetical to His Divine Plan. We all carry a bit of the FSM within us – not the like nonsensical claims of some invisible “god†living “in our hearts†– but in the real and observable structures of our very bodies.
I am sure these concepts are adequately covered in the Gospel of the FSM, but I have yet to read it and cannot constrain my exuberance at this time. But really, since when does a lack of knowledge and research preclude having strong opinions about the nature of the cosmos, anyway?
RAmen,
Spaghetti Jeanette-i
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Not to discredit anything on here …. i’m sure it could be possible … after all, anything seems to be nowadays ..
Just … with evidence … shudn’t it be backed up with hard evidence? Not just a bunch of quotes from people?
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RAmen.
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Academic Endorsements P. 4.
Nice choice JCarr. Haven’t been back here for ages.
Don’t go for the showy pages, pick something worthwhile out.
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I had a biology teacher, Miss Jane Carr. You wouldn’t possibly be her would you?
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You’d be about 78 or so.
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Liz,
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We have all the hard evidence you need. Absolutely stacks of it. Too much to simply dump on a website without overloading you. It will take years, possibly centuries to sift through it all and present a thorough case.
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These endorsements the peer review of the work in progress.
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Look, Love. Evolution is getting by on a similar wicket, so go figure.
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RAmen.
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After hearing various references to FSMism on facebook, I decided to finally check it out for myself. I have to say, I’m really excited to show this all to my crazy uber-Christian friends who constantly try to “save” me (until now I was an athiest jew) Instead, let them “savour”…spaghetti, and eat that which is in His image. RAmen
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Finally a God that I can eat his body and it goes down great with wine. – I’m saved – I LOVE IT
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Mark,
You have been touched by his noodley appendage.
RAmen.
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Dear Sirs
I have a confession to make. Upon descending mount Sinai I tripped over a suspiciously noodley appendage, fell and smashed one of the tablets in two.
Aware that I had already been gone some time (and concerned that Aaron may have finished off the SpagBol we were having for supper that evening) I decided to cut my losses and return to base camp with only half of the commandment intact.
Hence the opening commandment that read:
“I am the Lord your God” actually should have read “I am the Lord your God the Flying Spaghetti Monster”
I apologise for any confusion / secularism this may have caused over the past couple of thousand years. Hopefully Christians worldwide can now embrace once and for all what is the true lineage of their relgion with open arms.
Yours sincerely,
Moses
“The path of the righteous man is noodley on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of Curry Houses. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the pasta through the valley of curry, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost parmesan. And I will strike down upon thee with great noodley vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to overcook my meatballs. And you will know my name is the The Flying Spaghetti Monster when I lay my appendage upon thee.”
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again from pastaland, and answering to Dr Mark Hutchinson, i’d like to point my opinion that all the diversity in the universe may (or not, i don’t know) exist so that we believers can taste the holy food in many different and pleasing ways, according to our different and ever changing tastes.
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HIS tomatoey goodness drips across the linoleum floor of THE UNIVERSE!!!
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KNOW THE TRUE NOODLE MASTER!
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YAARRR!!!
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Good work.
Now all we have to image is what the universe would be like if we had an engaged supreme being. I bet the physical laws would be different. Entropy would be the first rule that would be different. Not to mention, the fact that human beings would have figured out how to get along millenia ago. Instead we have this chaotic world where we continue to extermiate each other.
I just find the fact that people have to explain the existence of a supreme being to one another to be quite telling of the whole quagmire we have embodied in our societal structure. A supreme being woulld be self evident. No other human being would need explain it. It would be subtle yet overwhelimg. In fact the mere attempt to explain the concept would tend to pollute the concept. Instead if their is a supreme being, it has shown itself to be very indifferent to humans and in general to all the life forms on the is planet in this solar system.
I am the supreme being over the animals at my domain and I treat them fairly and I never would let them hurt each other. In fact I bet I have rasied their concsciensenesses to higher levels than some of the posters in your hate mail. They are coo coo to argue about pirates, global warming, beer volcanoes etc.
The only thing I can say about the hate mail posters is that the majority of humans are sub conscience, as are some of the posters in the hate mail forum.
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حسبي الله ونعم الوكيل
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
{ اللّهُ لاَ إِلَهَ إِلاَّ هُوَ الْحَيُّ الْقَيُّومُ لاَ تَأْخُذُهُ سِنَةٌ وَلاَ نَوْمٌ لَّهُ مَا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الأَرْضِ مَن ذَا الَّذِي يَشْفَعُ عِنْدَهُ إِلاَّ بِإِذْنِهِ يَعْلَمُ مَا بَيْنَ أَيْدِيهِمْ وَمَا خَلْفَهُمْ وَلاَ يُحِيطُونَ بِشَيْءٍ مِّنْ عِلْمِهِ إِلاَّ بِمَا شَاء وَسِعَ كُرْسِيُّهُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالأَرْضَ وَلاَ يَؤُودُهُ حِفْظُهُمَا وَهُوَ الْعَلِيُّ الْعَظِيمُ } ( الاية رقم 255 من سور البقرة )
http://quran.al-islam.com
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
[1] Alif Lam Mim.
[2] This is the book; in it is guidance, sure, without doubt, to those who fear Allah;
[3] Who believe in the Unseen, are steadfast in prayer, and spend out of what We have provided for them;
[4] And who believe in the Revelation sent to thee, and sent before thy time, and (in their hearts) have the assurance of the Hereafter.
[5] They are on (true guidance), from their Lord, and it is these who will prosper.
http://quran.al-islam.com/Targama/dispTargam.asp?l=arb&t=eng&nType=1&nSora=2&nAya=1
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Hello again magdy helmy,
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Ok, now I can understand a bit more of it.
I’m afraid many here will have a problem with [3]. Many here are skeptical in their world views. A bit like don’t believe until there is good reason shown to do so. If you don’t live like that and believe the Unseen, then which Unseen to believe? Islam, christianity, Hinduism, Buddism, Shinto? Or more importantly: why any one at all?
.
As I mentioned in my sarcastic reply to you on the other thread, we don’t get many Muslims, so please do hang around if you like and English is ok for you (my Arabic is virtually non-existant, sorry). :)
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FSM TOOOLS u guys r tards u dont even no y its here u dumb people i actually no y church of FSM was created! fools, stop all the hatin peeps! ya so its totaly real, if u say his real name everyone dies in a 10 mile radious! oops didnt say that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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it just goes to show that the uneducated do conform to both sides of this argument. thisissk8ing11, i acknowlege your pastafrainaism and RAmen to that, but you don’t convert people with txt talk.
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@Commodore Angryy
Huh….you acknowledge his/her pastafarianism? Based on what?
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thisissk8ing11 – please learn to use real words. I understand that it will take like 2 more seconds to type, but you read like you ride the short bus.
.
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magdy helmy Aug 16th, 2007 at 4:27 pm
حسبي الله ونعم الوكيل
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
{ اللّهُ لاَ إِلَهَ إِلاَّ هُوَ الْحَيُّ الْقَيُّومُ لاَ تَأْخُذُهُ سِنَةٌ وَلاَ نَوْمٌ لَّهُ مَا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الأَرْضِ مَن ذَا الَّذِي يَشْفَعُ عِنْدَهُ إِلاَّ بِإِذْنِهِ يَعْلَمُ مَا بَيْنَ أَيْدِيهِمْ وَمَا خَلْفَهُمْ وَلاَ يُحِيطُونَ بِشَيْءٍ مِّنْ عِلْمِهِ إِلاَّ بِمَا شَاء وَسِعَ كُرْسِيُّهُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالأَرْضَ وَلاَ يَؤُودُهُ حِفْظُهُمَا وَهُوَ الْعَلِيُّ الْعَظِيمُ } ( الاية رقم 255 من سور البقرة )
http://quran.al-islam.com
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
[1] Alif Lam Mim.
[2] This is the book; in it is guidance, sure, without doubt, to those who fear Allah;
[3] Who believe in the Unseen, are steadfast in prayer, and spend out of what We have provided for them;
[4] And who believe in the Revelation sent to thee, and sent before thy time, and (in their hearts) have the assurance of the Hereafter.
[5] They are on (true guidance), from their Lord, and it is these who will prosper.
Well that’s cleared that up then!
http://www.well-that-clears-that-up-then.com
HOLD ON!!!!!!!!
In the name of HE, Most Tasty, Most Noodly.
[1] Alhav Lam Withim.
[2] This is the bowl; in it is guidance, sure, without doubt, to those who love pasta;
[3] Who believe in the appendages, are steadfast in slurping sauce, and spend out of what HE has provided for them;
[4] And who believe in the cheesy topping sent to thee, and sent before thy beer, and (in their hearts) have the assurance of the Hereafter.
[5] They are on (true guidance), from their Lord, and it is these who will prosper.
I thought that sounded familiar!
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Hail Mary, Please I beg you to have Jesus in your life and accept him. Please. He loves us all. Let God into your life. God Bless All Of You!!!!!!!!!
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No, make me!
And how can a dead guy be in my life?
And if he’s dead how can he love me, I’m nether gay or into necrophilia!?
And why do you care anyway? And don’t ‘beg’ it’s demeaning to both of us.
Anyway, good luck with being a species traitor! Hope you find reason and logic one day.
Love and kisses
Pluto
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Hail Mary, Please I beg you to have Jesus in your life and accept him. Please. He loves us all. Let God into your life. God Bless All Of You!!!!!!!!!
Indeed Shawn!!!! Then it is well known that Jesus was really a son of HIM. Bless you too Shawn and my his appendage stroke you gently on the brow……Me hearty!
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So, I believe in a little bit of Christianity, a little bit of Islam, and a little bit of FSM. For example, Jesus was the son of God but God is the FSM and Jesus really wasn’t named Jesus. That was his middle name. His first name is Mohammed. What does that mean for my prospects in heaven? Do I get bad beer, like Nattie Ice? Or a midget stripper? I’m really concerned.
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The Islam bit means the beer has to be alcohol free and your stripers have to were burkars. If the christen part is Catholic, you have to fell bad about the watching the stripers too!
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Captain Navy Ballz Sep 13th, 2007 at 8:31 pm
“and Jesus really wasn’t named Jesus. That was his middle name.”
.
It was actually Cheeses wasn’t it?
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Cheeses Jesus.
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@ CN BALLZ
Midget strippers … hawt!
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Where is real evidence? All I see are quotes celebrating pastafarianism. What is the significance of the spaghetti? Why not just tentacles or something? These quotes are all quoted by smart idiots. They’re smart by measurements, such as having a P.h.D, but have stupid common sense (that goes for the ones who believe it). The other quotes state that it is just as plausible as any other Intelligent Design theory, because they themselves believe in evolution.
How come all of your evidence pages have only quotations? Maybe the book has more evidence, but a wise man would not waste his money buying it. On this website you show absolutely no proof, or any valid facts to help prove it.
Did this monster inspire the invention of pasta? And spaghetti? What is the evidence that it’s a flying spaghetti monster?
The most plausible theory (truth) for intelligent design is Christianity. It was written over thousands of years by many different authors, whose ideas all matched up perfectly. The prophecies written in the old testament about Jesus became fulfilled when Jesus died. No intelligent person can deny that Jesus existed.
All that the Catholics did that was evil is not in the religion of Christianity. Christianity is belief in the Bible, which didn’t want Christians to kill people who were islamic, or something. Catholics strayed from the Bible when they did this. Catholicism was very corrupt. True Christians accept the Bible, and believe that what it says is true and unalterable. The dumb Catholics taught debauchery.
Humans are naturally evil. The little children must be taught to share, and love, and be kind. Where did the good morals of the world come from? Why would some guy come up with all of these restraining rules the world must follow? Christianity has moralized the world, and even non-christians are affected by this moralization.
I must leave in the middle of my poopestilence…
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The most plausible theory (truth) for intelligent design is Christianity. It was written over thousands of years by many different authors, whose ideas all matched up perfectly. The prophecies written in the old testament about Jesus became fulfilled when Jesus died. No intelligent person can deny that Jesus existed.
Aaahhh…and therein lies the problem dear Dead skunk of the past..it was written by people years after the death of this so called prophet. Their ideas (whatever that means) did not match up perfectly at all!
There were a lot of things written in the old testament and? The God of the old testament is officious and callous..does that mean that God is so, then by the time of the new testament he had changed and become lovely and cute and nice and had sent his son to save us all. The God of the old testament gets people to almost execute their children before saying that it was just a “test”. I don’t find the bible in the least to be useful as anything but a wonderfully impressive work of fiction. To seriously believe it to be “real” is to believe something as ridiculous as say an invisible pink unicorn!!!
I am an intelligent person an I would very strongly INSIST that Jesus did not exist or do you have any proof of this myth?
“The dumb catholics taught debauchery”… very Christian wording.
“Humans are naturally evil”….speak for yourself!
Little children will behave as they are taught to behave. Yes they need love and should show love, but this has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with religion. A child can be educated in love and kindness with or without a religion. This is NOT a prerequisite!!
“Where did (good) morals of the world come from”? Altruism and a from of moralistic code is not merely a human thing. The upholding of moralistic and altruistic social order is found just as much in other animals including great apes. One (an probably the most sensible theory, in any case beating the intervention of a God hands down) is that some creatures learned (we included) that altruism actually bring benefits…put plainly, if I am generally good, then generally others are good to me, in other words I gain if I allow other to gain too. This seems to have merged with our sense of self-judgment and guilt (another attribute that is not merely a human thing) to create the beginnings of an internal moralistic system.
This is not, by far and wide, a Christian invention or are you suggesting that civilised societies that preceded the invention of the Christian faith were lacking morals? If so how did they survive so well? Why were they (for their time) so much further than we in this part of the world? And why do so many people still “of Christian faith” perform crimes of every order from petty theft to child abuse to murder? Surely their intense sense of morals should prevent this (that sense of moral correctness being so much better than say…mine (as a non-believer)). I fear that your answer to this will be as always “they are not true Christians”..a cop out if ever there was one!
“Why would some guy come up with all of these restraining rules the world must follow?” Why would Mao decide to let his people die in order to gain a little more power? Why would Hilter decide to slaughter millions of people?
To The Flying Spaghetti Monster and evidence I say…Everything you have said and say; all your ideas and thoughts; all of the lack of evidence you think you see; even your doubts as to your own God (and you do have them..I know!!!) and as to HIM are all a product of HE. You cannot prove or disprove HIM. If you attempt to in any way HE will alter the attempt to bring about the result that HE wants (whether you understand it or not). HE is forever one step ahead and forever just around the next corner!! Sound familiar?!?
God used to be in the trees and plants..until science proved this not to be the case.
Then God was in the clouds…until science proved that beyond the clouds was space.
Then he was beyond the solar system, but that revolved around us…until science prove this to be cods wallop!
Now he is always there where science has not yet looked!! Strange isn’t it!!
Of course, all of this has been arrange by HIM to create the confusion HE so likes.
Arrrggghghgh…Walk ye the plank and pieces of eight!!!
Bless HIM and HIS tangy sauce!
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.
Tee Hee.
On odd days the xians claim our innate instinct of right and wrong proves God exists, on even days one of they tells us we need God because people are naturally evil.
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How is anyone supposed the believe Christianity when they can’t even get a fixed story about what it claims? They’ve had thousands of years to come up with something plausible and all they have is a patchwork of junk.
Surely it’s time to throw in the towel and join a more convincing belief system that still has a chance of panning out.
Pastafarianism awaits you. Allow yourself to be touched by his noodly appendage. RAmen.
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@The Dead Skunk of the Past
-Where is the proof of christianity?
-The reason that our academic endorsement pages consist of mostly academic endorsements is that it is a page designed for academic endorsements. Read the Gospel if you want some more evidence (at least read the Open Letter).
-Isn’t calling Catholics “dumb” a bit against the whole “Love thy neighbor” jazz you christians are supposed to believe in?
-Wasn’t there morality be christianity? Hasn’t there been immorality among christians?
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Would it be blasphemous to name my sex organ The Noodly Appendage?
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I am proud to say I have seen the FSM and I have evidence …
I was having dinner with my girlfriend the other night and as soon as I started to talk about religion, I SAW IT !! the FSM … it was coming right at me… I felt shocked and pleased all at the same time, it had chosen to appear right in front of me and was approaching fast too.. I had little time to think before I was basking in all it’s glory.
I was so impressed I can’t even remember what was for dinner that night.
:)
I have evidence.
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Hi David Weinrich and welcome :)
Do you remember what you were saying to your girlfriend right before you saw the FSM coming right at you? :p
May you forever feel the warmth of His Noodly embrace.
RAmen
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It seems the Flying Spaghetti Monster made an appearance in Italia at the end of the middle-age. This appearance could explain the start of the Renaissance there, why there is the flying spaghetti monster on the roof of the Sixtine church and finally why spaghettis is the national meal in Italia!
Making this appearance, the Flying Spaghetti Monster has closed the sad middle age period and started a new life for us, the human being, who, just after the appareance, have discovered america, taken a new look on sciences and arts and finally known what is the better source of calories: spaghettis!
(sorry for bad english)
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at larst some one has come across me and how i created everthing there is so thank you and please stop eating spaghetti it makes me very sad.
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hate to disapoint you FSM, but i believe that if i cook the spaghetti in beer rahter than water, it would neutralise good and evil.
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david, where you by chance eating spaghetti
that would make it all very logical
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Sounds like David ended up wearing it rather than eating it :p)
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The FSM theory makes a lot of sense.
The letter refers to the ratio of pirates to tempature of the Earth.
This is true the great increse in Earth Problems is directly related to the decrease in Pirates since the 1800s.
This theory is also disprovable.
But it is provable,
If humans are imperfect,
and the FSM is Perfect
and something cannot give rise to it’s oppisite
(fire cannot give rise to water)
Then there is no way for me to have the thought of the FSM
so the FSM must exist to have placed that thought in my head.
Strangly Hungry,
MeSmartyCookie
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the spaghetti monster must exist, i can imagine him flying around smiting evil by hurling his giant meat balls. He is all powerful, all knowing and it is impossible for us simple human beings to understand the capacity of his being. He is perfect. According to Anselm, if we are imperfect, we couldnt concieve something perfect so the spaghetti monster must have put that idea in our heads somehow so he MUST exist. Beside spaghetti tastes good.
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I have look and researched FSM and i have come to the ultimate conclusion that it is unarguably true. Me as well as my life partener have experiece the greatness of his mghty meatballs. He is absolutly scrumptous in everyway reconcilable. we belive that this theory has supporters such as Thales and also Anaximander becouse Thales belief of creation from water, he knew that everything was created by something but his experience hadnt included the FSM.Also Anaximander,s theory of the “bounldess” was the FSm even though he couldnt yet comprehend the idea of the FSM; and in our enlightement our live are much more pleasurable since we have accepted FSM as our lord and he has wrapped his noodles around us. ~In Speghetti We Trust.~
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I belive the FSM has to be a imperfect being unless you can answer the following:
Can the FSM make a cheese cake he cant lift?
If yes then the FSM is imperfect.
If no then the FSM cant do everything so he is also imperfect.
If man created spaghetti then spaghetti could not have created man.Which dates back to the philosophical beliefs of Anaximander.If you could answer these questions then this might be a plausible religion.
Sincerely,
Peter Piper
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I believe the Flying Spagetti Monster is real indeed. I recieve enlightenment everytime I eat spagetti. It’s a revelation in the world of religion let me tell ya. I believe that the flying spagetti monster puts, figuratively speeking, the holy spirit into every plate of spagetti I eat. Pasta night has become church for me. Putting parmesan cheese on spagetti is like sinning in front of God. The Flying Spagetti Monster alows me to reach the Golden Mean. Pure happiness can be reached by believing in the Flying Spagetti Monster. Through him I am saved. My heart is a mesh of spagetti and meatballs.
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Those of you who are disputing the fact that a spaghetti monster exists are one meatball short of a bowl of spaghetti. It is plain and clear that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is in fact the “BOUNDLESS” creator of everything. According to Anaximander the boundless Is the creator of everything and is everything and everything is it. He argues the fact that nothing can give rise to its opposite and the boundless is that one thing that has no opposite. If you think about it logically spaghetti has no opposite. Therefore it can create everything that exists. You must see that there is a boundless creator, we know that , the world did not just come from nothingness it came from everythingness. Does spaghetti not incorporate every food group? Well almost everything if you include cheese. The flying spaghetti monster perfectly represents the boundless. There may not be any historical evidence of a FSM but as you can see it perfectly fits the mold of the boundless creator who made everything
Remember a bowl of spaghetti a day keeps the doctor away!!!!
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Those of you who are disputing the fact that a spaghetti monster exists are one meatball short of a bowl of spaghetti. It is plain and clear that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is in fact the “BOUNDLESS” creator of everything. According to Anaximander the boundless Is the creator of everything and is everything and everything is it. He argues the fact that nothing can give rise to its opposite and the boundless is that one thing that has no opposite. If you think about it logically spaghetti has no opposite. Therefore it can create everything that exists. You must see that there is a boundless creator, we know that , the world did not just come from nothingness it came from everythingness. Does spaghetti not incorporate every food group? Well almost everything if you include cheese. The flying spaghetti monster perfectly represents the boundless. There may not be any historical evidence of a FSM but as you can see it perfectly fits the mold of the boundless creator who made everything ps A BOWL OF SPAGHETTI A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY!!!!!!!!!
Love DR Peterbertsen
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We the Pirate Midgets of Italy (PMI) believe that FSM is real, for we were created by this holy noodley being. This perfect FORM was the creator of everything we know and love. Concepts, images, and objects of spaghetti are small morsels of understanding there is now way to comprehend the reality of The Flying Spaghetti Monster. This fantastic treat of spaghetti exists therefore this God of delicious noodleness and meaty ballness exists. Most in our clan of midgets are consumed by the awesomeness of the feeling spaghetti brings to our bellies. Also we have learned form our midget elders that when Anaximander was talking about “The Boundless” they were really talking about The one and only Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Sincerely,
Sharifatanifashaquedafondatoyaloyafoyapoya Jackson P.H.D.
&
The Pirate Midgets of Italy
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If you attempting to ridicule the theory of Intelligent Design you are going about it in entirely abrasive manner and discourse. According to Ockham to the simplest explanation is usually the correct one– so if you are attempting to disprove the validity of ID you are complicating your point by developing another theory of ID. I understand that you use this theory of thought(FSM) as an illustration of how ridiculos the theory of ID is, however, because it such a malevolent attack it puts ID believes in defensive mode. You better disseminate your belief systems if you approached them in a more logical stance– the fundamental basis of the theory of evolution. However– i love pasta– so FSM totally rules!!I would love for him to be my pastor– we would have an awesome time at church picnics with a giant ball of spaghetti.
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I think you people are geniuses. There is such truth in what you are stating. It is closely related to Ockhams Razor in that it is the simplest argument with all the excess details shaved off. The simplicity of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is at best the most rational explanation for our existence of life as we know it. We find none as delightfully absurd and blatantly simplistic as Pastafarianism. He is a simple spaghetti monster which created everything as we know it. I suppose that the FSM gets drunk on the weekends with Meredith and Monette. They discuss FSM’s love of marinara sauce, and how he mixes it with gin. The Theory of Thales also proves the exsistence of the flying spaghetti monster. He cannot give rise to his opposite, BBQ chicken with a side of broccoli and cheese.
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I fully agree with your theory of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. This theory is the only one that makes complete sense. Just as William of Ockham argues that whenever a happening can be fully explained by a theory which contains the least anount of elements, the simpler and less complexing theory should be chosen. Ockhams Razor of simplicity wasn’t meant to attack religion, just as FSMism. It’s just basically stating that if theres evidence of something, no matter how ridiculous it sounds, then it by all means should be accepted. I’m behind you all the way and I think your theory is amazing!!
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Dear fellow pastafarians;
After hours of review on this new found religion I have been enlightened and now have complete faith in the flying spaghetti monster. Even if you don’t find yourself truly moved by the arguement of the flying spaghetti monster being the sole creator of everything, consider pascal’s wager; if you believe and you’re wrong then nothing happens, but if you don’t believe and you’re wrong you will burn for all eternity in pirate spaghetti hell. Furthermore, also take into consideration the theory of Ockham’s razor; isn’t it easier to define all of existence using some pasta with a little Ragu sauce than trying to use scientific theories and other dieties? Therefore I find that FSMism is the only rational explanation for the creation of all mankind. I only hope that my words will help non-believers to re-evaluate their false beliefs.
lots of pasta love,
Mclovin.
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Your theory of FSM is a great enlightenment to all who come to discover the truth that a intelligent designer such as FSM in fact does exist. According to Plato we are all in the perverbial cave and are only enlightened by the coming of realization that FSM is the all powerful creator. I would like to sincerely thank you for releasing me from my bonds so I could step out of the cave and bask upon the greatness of the all mighty and all powerful pasta, the Alpha and Omega. Even according to the glorious Pascal, it is better to believe in FSM then to disbelieve and suffer the Armageddon FSM’s bonecrushing meatballs will bring or the saucy hell fires this wrathful diety will deliver you into. My only hope is that all can soon come know that this ID is the creator we all mistake as God.
BOOM! tough actin tinactin
p.s. Brett Farve is great football! Boom
Love,
John Madden
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It is clear to me that your theory of the flying spaghetti monster is juvenile. According to Anaximander nothing can give rise to its opposite just like the FSM cant give rise to fire. Also Anaximander says that the ultimate being is boundless. So if the FSM lives on earth who created the rest of the universe(Flying Spaghetti Bowl). I also think that the great minded philosopher, Pythagoras, would not approve of your FSM. This is true because the FSM doesn’t explain mathematics, science, or other natural laws that exist on earth. Also, how does the FSM defy gravity? This concludes my reasons of your false religion.
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Dear Spaghetti fanatics,
Im compelled to say that the theory of the flying spaghetti monster has a lot of substantial evidence to support it.In my philosophy class I teach my students about how Aristotle himself had issues with the “new chiefs” at Plato’s academy, so he founded one of his own, known as the Lyceum. These students have also expressed their own disagreements with Kansas’s law stating that the curriculum must include the teaching of ID.Therefore why would people be against students standing up for what they believe in. They are doing this to discredit the government’s decision not religion. In fact, the captain himself has stated that there is several religious Christians and even muslims are apart of this organization. Furthermore William of Ockham believed that the simplest answer is probably the best answer. So in this case the simplest answer to these students is to create a new religion worshipping a spaghetti monster instead of being required to be taught ID.This theory of FSM is so good in fact that im goind to go home and sit down to eat a huge bowl of spaghetti and meatballs with parmesian cheese!!!!
Respectfully Yours,
Dr. Ragu de Prego
P.S. You can’t run, You can’t hide, It’s the FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!!!
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By ontological argument, it is possible to prove the existence of the FSM. Saint Anselm applied this method to his argument for the existence of the Christian/Catholic God and was met with little opposition. Those who discovered the entity that has come to be known as FSM can easily legitimize their finding by applying the conception to reality theory: if one can conceive it and it is perfect, then it must necessarily exist in reality. Because the FSM, as we all know, is perfect, and a perfect being is not perfect if it only exists in one’s mind, then it must exist and be the creator of all. As Anaximander pointed out in his renouncement of Thales, nothing can give rise to its opposite. What thing can be contrived that is in complete opposition to pasta? Therefore, FSM must be the creator if he is perfect and has no opposite; FSM is the only possible entity discovered thus far with all of the credentials to be omnipotent. Anselm’s God cannot even claim this, as he refers to himself as the Good, yet there is rampant evil among his creations. As Descartes semantically argued, if something is doubted it exists; we doubt FSM exists, therefore it does.
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While researching the origin of spaghetti-Os, I stumbled across your website where i was immediately fascinated by the evidence that supports The Flying Spaghetti Monster. I’ve always loved spaghetti so i decided to read on and this is when i realized how similar your theory is to Heraclitus ( a Pre-socratic philosopher). in his philosophy he believes that the world is constantly changing just as FSMism tells of how the FSM uses his noodly appendages to change the results of scientific experiments such as carbon dating in fossils. As a philosopher and pasta guru I believe there is evidence to the FSM through applying my fellow philosopher Pascal’s theory. In his wager he says it’s better to believe in something such as FSMism 100% then to not believe at all. If there is an FSM then clearly he would make my life better by constantly providing for me ( all the spaghgetti-Os i can eat)
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Hey Jackson!
Bet you had a heck of a time in kindergarden / first grade getting a handle on that first name! My sympathies!
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As a hardcore Christian I believe that your belief in FSMism is really ridiculous. A freakin flying spaghetti monster? You’ve seriously got to be kidding me. Thales philosophy of water being the basic nature of all things (even though fire can’t be created from water) is more believable than your FSMism. The flying spaghetti monster couldn’t exist without water so that means that water had to come before your so-called “flying spaghetti monster.” Heraclitus’ philosophy of continual change disproves your FSMism because wouldn’t the noodles change over time and the meatballs would like rot and grow fungi? Your flying spaghetti monster must be like really stinky right now if it never changes huh? But it obviously does change because it is in constant motion flying around from place to place. So to come to an end, FSMism is a really absurd theory of how we came to be.
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Platos belief in the simile of reality is that the human soul is made of 90% appetites and passions, 9% emotions and fears, and only 1% reason, therefore the common man cannot accept or comprehend the truth of the flying spaghetti monster, because he designed it that way so only the truly worthy could accept his carb-laden goodness. Evidence points out that the south beach diet is a movement by anti Italian Nazis to discredit the F.S.M, and to deprive us his divine meatyness. Early Paleolithic drawing depict several squiggles and giant balls which can only represent the almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster. Following up on the cave drawings it is obvious that the Flying Spaghetti Monster helped Plato create his theory of leaving the cave to find the truth and enlightenment in the loving noodles of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. In conclusion our clergy in Italy will be holding a service about his son the Flying Ramen Noodle Monster who is destined to become the new savior.
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Thank you for the theory of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. In my years of trying to find a faith to cling onto I must say the theory of FSM is just as valid as that of Intelligent Design and should be taught along side of it in school. The word “God” can be used to describe this higher being. It is very plausible. Saint Anselm even stated, “even a fool is convinced that something exists.” If a person can conceive of the perfect being then who is to say spaghetti cannot give rise to something perfect. People want to believe in a good, benevolent higher creator. Spaghetti is something that people quite enjoy. In another statement, Thomas Aquinas even has said that reason cannot establish the claims of faith. God has never been clearly defined. FSM is definitely the theory I have been searching for. Who knew eating something so delicious was actually an extension of my creator.
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I for myself do not believe in FSM, because the Universals once said, can God create a rock He can’t lift? So, we must ask, can the FSM create a meatball it can’t carry? And if the FSM can create everything, can it create a being stronger than itself? If not this implies that he is not all powerful and if so he is limited by his powers, and is not all powerful. As Zeno stated you can’t have one true theory that goes hand in hand with a “false” theory. As you stated the FSM is an all powerful existing being that created the Earth. In that case I have proven that he is not all powerful all stating the FSM does not exist and did not create the Earth. As Zeno’s theory reduction to the absurd, you cannot have an FSM without its ability to create a higher being.
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I think all of the people that believe in this ridiculous “religion” most not take anything seriously since this is absurd. Using Socrates’ method of reducto ad absurdum, how do you know if this Flying Spaghetti Monster is in fact spaghetti if it is invisible? Also by Ockham’s Razor you’ve created another ID theory which has made things more complex then before. Ockham’s Razor states that the simplest and least complex theory is the best discrediting your theory.
Thank you and Goodnight!
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Sounds like a school project to me…
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Next lesson – everyone look up the words satire and parody in the dictionary.
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It was Thales that stated water was the basis for all existence. His theory was disproved by Anaximander and his claim that nothing can give rise to its opposite. Simply stating that if water was the basis for all existence how can there be fire? Supposedly “God” is a perfect being. And us as his creation are imperfect beings. Right? That makes us his opposites, and if nothing can create its opposite then therefore god cannot exist. However, last time I checked there was to opposite for spaghetti so in summary the flying spaghetti monster gave rise to us all.
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@Iron Bess
IMHO “everyone” is just one person who must be so lonely as to enjoy posting to him/herself.
Ramen
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And be fully informed?!
Are you mad?!
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Two main Cartesian philosophical arguments are as follows:
1- I doubt therefore I exist
2-I doubt therefore god exist
Notice that both proofs presuppose the platonic hierarchy of being, in which “most real” equals most perfect”.
Let me ask you, what is more real, a supernatural figure conceivable only through thought and faith? Or, spaghetti?
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@perna de pau – you could be right. To me it looked like a school project that they post on the bulletin boards outside classrooms. If it is only one person…whew…someone has lots of time to waste.
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Dear Pastafarian Fanatics,
I as a philosophy teacher am compelled to give these students a big round of applause. The theory of the flying spaghetti monster has a lot of evidentiary support.In my class the students by now know that even Aristotle defied others. He strongly disagreed with the “new chiefs” at Plato’s school, so he created one of his own, known as the Lyceum. These justified individuals are doing the same thing. They disagree with the Kansas government’s decision to require ID as a course in the curriculum. This organization was founded to discredit the actions of the government in Kansas, not religion. The captain himself states that they have several ardent Christian and even Muslim members. We have always told our kids to stand up for what they believe in, but now that they are actually taking a stand and doing it we say it is wrong. I think that the students have raised a very good point and should definitely be heard as we so stress to them. We need to listen instead of jumping down their throats. When William of Ockham created Ockham’s razor he stated that the simplest answer is probably the right answer. To these students worshipping and believing in the flying spaghetti monster as their perfect being is simpler than having ID forced on them and swaying them from making their own individual opinions.This theory is so good in fact that I am going home right now to make myself a big plate of spaghetti with parmesian cheese on top. Yummmmyyyyy!!!!!!
Respectfully Yours,
Dr. Ragu de Prego
P.S. Pastafarians Rule!!
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If you attempting to ridicule the theory of Intelligent Design you are going about it in an entirely abrasive manner of discourse. According to Ockham, the simplest explanation is usually the correct one– so if you are attempting to disprove the validity of ID you are complicating your point by developing another theory of ID. I understand that you use this theory of thought(FSM) as an illustration of how ridiculos the theory of ID is (or just that it shouldnt be taught in schools– pick your stance), however, because it is such a malevolent attack, it puts ID believes in defensive mode. You could better disseminate your belief systems if you approached them in a more logical stance– (yes logic-the fundamental basis of the theory of evolution.) If you developed a concise and condusive argument as to why ID cannot or should not be taught at your university, your beleifs would than appear more favorable and intelligent. Though i disagree with your approach I do acknowledge a slight appearance of validity–even though i believe in god and ID it must not be taught in schools to such a degree because it will only fuel religious intolerance on a national scale. oh, and if FSM does exist and he is a giant roaming ball of food– why isnt he feeding the flipping homeless– why is there world hunger if our creator is made OF FOOD??!! i mean really?? however i do love pasta– so excellent choice on the umm.. substance of our all mighty “creator” {:
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@Dr. Robespierre.
“i believe in god and ID…and if FSM does exist and he is a giant roaming ball of food– why isnt he feeding the flipping homeless– why is there world hunger if our creator is made OF FOOD??!! i mean really??”
That’s a bit of a double standard isn’t it Dr Rodespierre? Alsao you say quote (Satan I love that word!) “approached them in a more logical stance– (yes logic-the fundamental basis of the theory of evolution.)” Where’s the logic behind ID?
Bit of a contradiction there? By logic anything that is self contradictory should be ignored. But better luck next time.
Dr Pluto PhD (Player Hater Degree)
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@pluto..well stated
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Poop Poop Poop :)
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@Dr. Robespierre
Evolution has been taught logically since it started. It didn’t work. Fundies just cannot appreciate logic and are unable to reason. Of course the whole concept of logic is silly because his noodly appendage is playing tricks on our brains.
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Are you of any relation to the Robespierre that started that whole “Reign of Terror” thing? I’m just curious.
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@ Sally
Fire from water, let me see… 2 hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom, do a little chemistry, break a few bonds, make some gas sans Taco Bell… HA! Both Oxygen and Hydrogen burn quite nicely! Ask any nurse about the first, and any zepplin passenger about the second!
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is no one responding to my postings because they cannot find a valid come back?
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I just wanted to allow you guys to know that once I found FSM, my life changed! NOt only does your theory prove that a perfect FORM is within a human’s grasp, but also it allows a whole new out look into my Platonic life of objects and forms. I saw new things in my life that I was never able to to see before I found FSM. What’s more is that just like Socrates, I was able to examine my life for what it really was…. lost and without true thought or meaning, but the sauce has saved me! Thank You Noodle Men! Thank You!
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Ronald Burgundy Oct 15th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
“Two main Cartesian philosophical arguments are as follows:
1- I doubt therefore I exist
2-I doubt therefore god exist
Notice that both proofs presuppose the platonic hierarchy of being, in which “most real” equals most perfect”.
Let me ask you, what is more real, a supernatural figure conceivable only through thought and faith? Or, spaghetti?”
Normally, I would say spaghetti is most real. (Wouldn’t anyone?)
But I’m going to go with your idea that the most perfect thing is the most real thing. So…what is most real/perfect? Once again, I say spaghetti. I can see it. It must exist. I cannot see a supernatural figure conceivable only through thought and faith. This figure hasn’t proved to me that he exists. He has failed, where the spaghetti has not. Already, the pasta is looking more perfect. Furthermore, it tastes better, it’s attractive, it can improve my health… The list goes on. I can even FEEL it with my sense of touch. With all of these superior qualities, pasta is much more perfect than a supernatural figure conceivable only through thought and faith.
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By the way, I’m eating spaghetti and meat balls right now. ^_^
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Aristotle “I cannot see a supernatural figure conceivable only through thought and faith. ”
If you are talking about non FSM religion, I am wondering where the “thought” came from…
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@ Sally Part 2
Sorry if I lost you through that brief trip through that “air” phase. Sometimes things do take a little maneuvering, but like anything worth doing, it’s better if you take your time and do it right!
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Let’s assume it’s irrational thought.
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“Let’s assume it’s irrational thought.”
Irrational? Sounds about right. :)
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Church of FSM
The theory of ID-FSM is quite an intriguing idea with plenty of logical reason behind it. For one, many try to disprove by questioning the physical validity of the Spaghetti monster himself. This argument, in it of itself, is flawed. William of Ockham, for example, would use his ‘Ockham’s Razor’ idea, that a God cannot be limited by any human principles. Thus, laws of physics and gravity would not apply to FSM; therefore, the FSM can exist outside of the realm of scientific explanation. Further more, proving FSM existence is a much easier process using Descartes reasoning. By means of radical doubt, or skepticism, Descartes tended to question whether any knowledge can be known for certain. But one thing he did know for sure is that since he could doubt the validity of the reality which he was presented, he must in fact exist. If he exists only through the process of doubt, then, he is imperfect. If he is imperfect, then something perfect must exist in order for him to be able to perceive the idea. Therefore, my friends, FSM is in fact a valid theory.
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Yes. I concur.
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Okay so the FSM.. where to start? Now considering the fact that he had to come from somewhere, can you explain with a logical explination to as why he isnt doing what the “creater of the world” is supposed to do? And if he has a reason for not doing all good to “his world” then why did he create it? And the FSM according to the principle of the economy of thought, “Ockham’s Razor” is invoked often in debate, usually to discount one or more theories on the basis that another exists which is simpler or more parsimonious.. which would lead to FSMism. Its a theory thought up from those not satisfied with other religions, maybe to feel more complete or to belong in a group to fit in. Its an interseting idea honestly but not plausable and deffinatly not realistic and im sure even beleivers in this FSMism knows and agrees to that deep down. And one other statement if this is an all powerfull floating noodle dinner, then his powers must be limitless (after all, according to you he created everything and the world right???) if this question is answered then i will hail the FSM for the rest of my life and never eat anything but spagetti forever.. Okay so we established the thought of limitless power of the FSM right? Now, can the all powerfull create a meatball so heavy that he cannot lift it with his muscular noodle arms? And that answer will always be a no beacuse you are all stupid and cant think of a logical explaination to such a genius question. Thank you very much, feel free to reply with your answer. Spagetti really does rule :]
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@Steel Bessy
I refer you to an answer I gave to a hate mailer. As you can see I’ve included the original questions to keep it in context.
Pluto Oct 8th, 2007 at 5:35 am
Ok, my turn!
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1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
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I’m glad you asked this question spunk cracker. You see, this is how I explain the idea of an infinite universe. Man dose indeed make pasta. But then pasta makes the universe, with me so far? The universe gives rise to man, who in turn creates pasta! Add infinity. See the FSM had to create the universe of there would be no-one to create him. It’s a continual cycle!
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2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.
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Ah, I refer you to question 1 jizz biscuit.
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3.how can FSM fly?
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Quite simple my mentally deficient friend. It’s a form of Dark Energy manipulation. You see dark energy (as opposed to dark matter) repels mater and vice versa. Therefore all the FSWM has to do is apply dark energy equal to the force of gravity and he will float! Reduce it a little and he will lower his altitude until the dark energy is equal to the gravitational potential (reveres to go up). He propels himself using an Ion drive. This collects particles from the environment and changes the charge of the particles forcing him along (similar to the poles of two magnets repelling each other).
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Finally, as anyone who’s eaten Swedish meatballs will tell you, his magnificent ball contain a high amount of lighter then air gases.
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4.how can FSM stay clumped together?
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Once again this is dark energy. A week field of dark energy surrounds the FSM at all times keeping his noodlyness permanently within this field. See, it’s as simple as you!
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5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?
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Back to question 1 you semi-simian scampster!
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6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?
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See 3 my mentally handy-caped companion.
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7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)
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Now not many people know this, but the FSM didn’t really create midgets. Well he did in a way, but realised that the world was too big for them. So he shrank the whole Earth to the size it is now. The midgets were now ‘normal’ size compared to everything else and became the first humans.
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8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.
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Well you’d just have to go ask them fuck-nut. Scientists can be found in your local yellow pages under Science, labs and universities. You could also try a mad scientist, but they tend to be a little flaky and melodramatic.
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9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.
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Have you seen them? They’ed put a normal man to shame, let alone an imp dick like you.
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just a few questions and facts. don’t answer any with,”i don’t know”,”he just can”,”magic”,”miracle” or anything like that, period.
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As you can see I didn’t use anything like that. So suck my big meaty balls!
If that didn’t help I guess now would be a good time to point something out.
This is a parody religion made to counter the teaching of Intelligent Design! This is a problem for the education of many in the US and, unfortunately, can now be seen in England thanks to Tony Blair and his City Academies.
But, as always, thanks for coming and showing you ignorance. As you can see from the above we are quite capable of explaining our selves with sudo-science. Something none of the other religions can do.
Now that I’ve answer your “genius” question, get on your knees and pray to the FSM or be branded a liar (you did say so after all).
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Is it more ridiculous to belive that woman was created from the rib of Adam? The idea of FSM is very possible due to His all powerful Noodly Appendage. As Saint Tomas Aquinas ID must be real because there must have been a higher power to “start the domino effect” that started every thing. FSM is here and always has been here. There is proof all around us to prove the existence of the FSM, the trees, the sky, everything is fromed from the Appendage of Noodelness. For you non-belivers i have a question, who “pushed” that first domino in the cause and effects of life, God? no the FSM pushed it with His Noodly Appendage. Second of all I think most of us agree that nobody is perfect so how would we get a ieda of a perfect spaghetti monster? The only way to percieve a perfect being is for it to be placed in our minds by some other perfect being therefore proving there must be the FSM.
Belive in His saucy goodness.
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Even though I LIKE this idea of FSM very much, it seems completely absurd to me. I don’t understand where the Jew comes into play with this religion. This monster unless it is a Jew itself cannot exist. I was wondering if this FSM could possibly create a meatball that itself cannot lift? If he can create it then he not all powerful and can’t be the greatrst thing ever and if he cant create it he still is not all powerful, either way FSM is not all powerful. Refering to Pascal’s wager, i will take my chances with not believing in the FSM and if i am indid wrong i will burn in boiling hott meat sauce for all eternity. I was wondering if you can eat FSM because he looks so delicious.
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MY THERORY OF THE FLYING PASTAFARISM IS CLOSLY RELATED TO HOW HOMOSEXUAL I AM SAYING THAT BOTH THE FSM AND I LOVE NOODLY APPENDAGES AND BALLS …….OF MEat. ACCORDING TO RICHARD SIMMONS I SHOULD NOT DESIRE THIS SINFULL DELIGHT BUT SEEING AS HE WEARS QUEER CLOTHES AND DANCES LIKE A FAIRY I SHOULD PROBABLY CONSIDER HIS LOGICAL STATEMENT BUT I CANT BECAUSE OF THE FEELING OF NODDLEY APENDAGES IN MY MOUTH MIXED WITH BALLS IS ORCASMIC AND CAUSES ME TO SHOUT WITH EXCITMENT
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The Flying Spaghetti Monster is one of the most intriguing religions that have come across yet. This religion does just what Socrates wanted us to do. It questions modern beliefs that have been implanted in our minds of the traditional god and Christian views. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is similar to Anaximander’s theory of there being a “Boundless” being. This religion has evidence to support their beliefs. I’m not saying that I agree with the FSM but I agree with the fact that these people are questioning the modern beliefs.
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@ MONNNNNNIZZZZZZLE FOOOOOSHIZLEDIZLE TWNIZZLE BIZZLE GAAAY FRIZLLEIZZLE
..wow someone has too much free time. honestly if this is your atemp to get at anyone you have failed terribly.
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i love the fact that this organization has become open to the public because we believe the world has become too tight assed about their religions. people take things too seriously and this is a good way to make looking at the divine a little bit more interesting and laid back; however, saying this, i also have some things i want to throw out there. this is to all the hard core followers of the FSM. if you say that the FSM has bigger balls than God then you must be saying that the FSM is even more perfect than God, and that God to begin with, was never perfect at all. why does everyone use the term “he” when talking about God or the FSM. Do we assume the FSM is male because IT has two balls and a noodle! christians and others claim God is all knowing, all good, and can do everything. if the FSM is more perfect than God then could it do these things or answer these questions we am going to post? to my knowledge God has never been replicated to a form we can see. if the spaghetti monster is so perfect then how could it give rise to beings that can completely understand and even see in drawing? if it is so perfect then could it create something that it couldn’t lift? we dont think it could lift anything anyways because of those limp noodle arms; if you call those things arms. we’re very skeptical…where do we go when we die? do we go to a gigantic palace with an infinite amount of spaghetti to eat and a stomach that never gets full? we think people assume there is a God because it is written in the Bible and miracles seem to be a big part of that. God has his following through his miraculous touch, but we’ve never heard anything about the FSM. we dont see trails of spaghetti falling from the sky when walking outside so how are we supposed to know the FSM is real? if he is all good then why are we not the richest men alive and have to go to school and write about certain things on this wall (Monette)? these are just some things we ponder when listening and seeing philosophical arguments. we dont think we will ever gain the divine knowledge and we’re a bit jealous that Adam and Eve did by eating the All Knowing Apple. Was it an apple…or was it spaghetti?
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@Ronald Burgandy – you should thank Aristotle for responding to you.
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Ever since i was young i was confused, lost, and had no clue what to believe. Now my life has recently been enlightened by Pastafarianism. People who say that the Flying Spaghetti Monster doesnt exist are complete idiots. Because were as humans are imperfect by design, this thought of a perfect FMS could not have come from us, for nothing can give rise to its opposite(perfection cannot come from imperfection) but indeed came from a pefect being… the flying spaghetti monster! This is a basic principle presented by the famous medieval philosopher Anselm. And if you are on the border between becoming a believer or non-believer, I would take Pascals view on things. For it would be best to believe all you life in FSM and live a wonderful, fulfilling, and meaningful life and find out at the end there was no great “boundless” FSM, then to risk not believing and at the end come to realize you were wrong all along and have no better place to go when you die.
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BOOYAHKAHSHA. I Is here wiff none other than my main man DR. Meoff. So tell me Jack, do you agree with the Rasta….Pastafarianism?
DOCTOR-Yes i do, Pascals view on things are most accurate in this situation. For it would be best to spend all your life believeing in FSM and live a happy, fulfilling, meaningful life and find out at the end that there was no great “boundless”, FSM, then to risk not believing and at the end come to realize you were wrong all along and have no better place to go when you die. So why not believe. Ockhams Razor also tells me not to over think such a religion as believeing in the FSM but to focus on its more simplistic values
Right Right Sooo are these Pastafarians of any relation to the uhh Rastafarians….you know uhh PUFF PUFF SMOKE SMOKE?
DOCTOR-NO, i do not believe so
Thats a shame…. CHECK IT yoouuz heard it from Jack Meoff, speaking of which, I gots ta go
RESPECT, out
ALI G.
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It was Thales that said water was the foundation for existence. The theory was disproven by Anaximander saying that nothing can give rise to its opposite. Saying that if water was the basis of all life how can there be fire? If God is perfect, it must have it’s opposite; evil. And if nothing can create its opposite then therefore God cannot exist. So seeing as how spagetti has no opposite, it must exist!
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I think your theory on existence is absolutely genius. According to pascals wager, why not believe in a religion when the benefits far out weigh the risks. The flying spaghetti monster is perfectly logical and I see no reason noy to believe in it.
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I stumbled across your website today, and verily I have seen the light.
If only knew about the holy spaghetti intrusions I wouldn’t have spent four years worrying whether there was a direct correlation between the increased seismicity in the Geysers Geothermal Area and the contemporaneous cold water injection and steam extraction. Man made earthquakes? Nah, his Holy Noodliness was merely resting his tentacles in a Godly-sized foot spa and kicking back some.
Without realizing it, I had been a good Pastafarian all these years. I’ve married an Italian and I have learnt to cook delicious pasta based dishes. Now every night I will eat my penne anointed in the sacred Salsa di Pomodoro della Nonna, in celebration of our Lord of Linguine. Dressed as a pirate. Arrr.
(Good on you for highlighting and satirizing the ludicrous stupidity of the ID ‘debate’, BTW.)
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Well I know one thing: there are no non-believers of the FSM on a turbulent airplane.
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I will say it. You money grubbing pastafarians are going to find the sales at your on-line store plummet when the Vatican’s on-line gift shop releases its line of bobble headed hold family, all saints and pope dolls. Why the sale of the JPII doll alone will eclipse all the revenue your puny efforts will generate in a decade, and, as we all know, the religion that can raise the most revenue is indeed the one true faith! Plus it can outspend you on informercials, and other evangelical endeavors. In short money buys converts and you have awakened a sleeping giant.
And you are all at a distinct disadvantage because everyone in the Catholic hagiography from Jesus to John Paul has a neck, which is more than can be said for your deity. Get it! No neck, no bobble headed dolls, no big revenue, no converts. Ha, as you can see the traditional religions are still the best. It’s only a matter of time before the Catholic church uses the bobble headed doll revenue to buy a couple of tank divisions to storm you headquarters. I wouldn’t want to be wearing my pasta on my sleeve the day that happens.
Convert to the religion that can make bobble headed dolls before it’s too late!
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Well, I’m convinced there, Neal! Only shouldn’t we actually be worshipping the toy manufacturer instead?
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I think you guys need to be careful with how FSM is rendered in some of hagiography for sale. In a couple of items, he’s looking a lot like Sponge Bob Square Pants, and no one want that!
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Oh all be praised the fsm is our lord our SAVIOR!!!!!!!
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First of all, having a PhD in imagination does not count for a thing. Finding it in a Cracker Jack box or buying it at Walmart does not amount to a hill of beans. You can have the entire alphabet behind your name and still be an idiot. And most who do are.
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Second of all, if anyone on this site has a shred of intelligence, I want you to provide an answer to this problem. Scientists have not been able to give an answer for it, because the only plausible answer “is unthinkable.” Here it is:
The nucleus has properties that force outward – they expel, or push out – so how is it that everything is held together?
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@rylore
You’ve convinced me. Why didn’t I see it all along?
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Because the nucleus expels, the USA as a nation should teach religion in public school science classrooms.
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That was easy.
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@Rylore – It’s called the cell membrain you twat! If your going to try using science against us use real science. You just asked the equivalnt of why the water dosen’t fall out of and upright glass. Because the glass is in the way! Or are you under the impression that god holds the water in place for you?
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Rylore,
All I can say is this ; “you urgently need a new brain” :)
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@Rylore
While I think Pluto misunderstood you (I believe you were referring to the nucleus of an atom, rather than a cell), that little “point” you made proves absolutely nothing. Frankly, it doesn’t really matter; but presumably, there is another force that keeps things in place. Second of all, the fact that you seem to believe whole-heartedly, beyond any doubt, in anything concerning something you have absolutely no way of proving, only shows your lack of intelligence, rather than that of anyone else. You sir (or ma’am) are blinded by your beliefs, accepting only one possibility, not that there could be other explanations.
Any form of faith requires that we always question things, otherwise we can never see through the lies we are told, and see corruption for what it is. Sadly, many people of “faith” don’t see the need to question anything, for they’ve already found their absolute, unquestionable salvation.
Attitudes like this are what leads to great atrocities, such as the crusades, inquisitions, terrorism, and wars in general. The fact that anyone gets all of their beliefs from a book written by men, mostly politicians, is the reason the world is in the sorry state that it is in. It’s also the reason we’ve spent millennia making the same idiotic mistakes, which will inevitably lead to the end of humanity as a whole. People need to wake up, and think for themselves.
Pastafarianism does a grand job of pointing out the idiotic tendencies of many religions, and humanity as a whole. For that, you guys have my support; Whether that means anything or not at this point, remains to be seen.
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@Rylore
If you mean a cell, then what you are referring to is a cell wall. If you mean an atom then what you are referring to is the attraction of repulsion of substances to or away from each other (look up nucleophile and electrophile). However I suspect since you made what is obviously an uninformed analogy that if I explained it to you in simple language, you still wouldn’t get it. I suspect the concept of magnetism would be too hard for you and you’d have to attribute it to a higher power, instead of the mechanisms that actually cause it to function.
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@Rylore
If you meant “atom”: the phenomenon you are talking about are called the strong and weak nuclear forces. Put very simply, the electromagnetic forces of pluses (+) and minuses (-) are known to attract opposites and repel like charges – over “large” distances. But when particles get really really close, the strong nuclear force takes over and will “glue” similar charges together. That’s how two or more protons (+) can clump together and occupy the nucleus of an atom. The strong force only works over very short range, giving the appearance of being enigmatic, maybe even magical.
The same class of humanoid who figured out the earth is round solved this conundrum somewhere back in the 1920-30s.
If you meant “cell”: ells have active process that consume energy. The one you are talking about is called “active transport”, which defies passive phenomena like difussion, and burns ATP in the process. This, too, was figured out a long time ago by large brained mammals devoid of prehensile tail.
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@Rylore
All nucleons (protons and neutrons) are attracted to each other through the Strong nuclear force. All particles of similar charge (a group of protons) are repelled by the Electromagnetic force (that you reference).The Strong force is stronger than the Electromagnetic force. The neutrons hold the nucleus together but you can’t just add more neutrons to make a nucleus stable because the neutron (two down quarks and up quark) would transform into a proton (two up quarks and a down quark), an electron, and an anti electron neutrino without the protons stabilizing it through the Weakly interacting nuclear force. If the nucleus is disturbed in the right way (say bombardment by a neutron moving at very high speeds) the balance is upset and the Strong force bonds between the nucleons are broken causing the Electromagnetic potential energy between the protons (along with the energy in the Strong bonds) to be transformed into kinetic, heat, and radiative energy.
.
I’m surprised that somebody so confident in themselves about this didn’t pick that up that bit up in sophomore/junior (in high school) level chemistry/physics (or Wikipedia, I mean, it’s right there!). I suggest that anybody unfamiliar with the basics of my last post should look up the Wikipedia article on “atomic nucleus” and follow the relevant links.
.
P.S. I posted this a while ago, but it never showed up. Moral of the story: always save your posts in a word doc in case they don’t get past the moderator :).
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Dear Bobby,
Pastafarianism is a delicious religion but I am troubled by its concept of heaven because what is in it seems to be directed at making human males happy (except for women who like beer). Could you please address this oversight? Did the FSM not provide for the happiness of women after death? Is this an intentional slight or do you believe that there are aspects of heaven that would make women as happy as men and which have yet to be discovered?
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Of course, I misspoke. The large distance force is called the “electromagnetic force” or the “Coulomb force”. And the short distance force (across only 2 femptometers) is called the “nuclear force”. But the terminology has been modified over the years. The concept is the same: nuclear contents can share a common charge, most likey positive or neutral. Bunching of electrons (negative charge) are more complex and rely upon energy levels, spin state, and the sublevel of orbital, which hold varying amounts of electrons. I’d rather think about cramming neutrons and protons together in an atom’s nucleus. Somehow, it seems easier than thinking about electrons, which seem to me to be undisciplined despite thier quantum nature.
Any physics dude want to clarify ?
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There are lots of things scientists have not provided answers for, and the reason is they either didn’t bother to ask it, or no evidence exists that permit them to answer it. Of course, religion has all the answers but no evidence.
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One time I saw my neighbors two mentally retarded kids with their pants down trying to hump the chained up dog. It was running around and I was laughing and embarrassed for them at the same time. That is what Christians trying to use science to explain ID look like. I want to turn away but it is just so funny I cannot. Rylore, please just stick to the usual “God is Magical” shtick, you’re just embarrassing yourself.
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@vivian Dec 11th, 2007 at 2:35 am
“Did the FSM not provide for the happiness of women after death?”
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Most of the wenches have decided that Pastafarian heaven will have both male and female strippers. It is a heaven after all…so we get whatever we want! Sounds good anyway ;p
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@vivian – Actually there are male striper factories too! I think it’s very sexist of you to assume that men can’t pole dance as well as women! Also beer comes from Volcanoes in FSM heaven. You can get other drinks there but not from the volcanoes. I expect there to be a Bailey’s geyser there somewhere. Possibly a Dooley’s lake?
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@Iscariot – 2 retards trying to rape a dog? Interesting metaphor.
We use to have them doing the Full Monty in the refectory in collage in front of the juke box. Difference is they had careers to come take them away, the religious dicks like Rylore don’t have that luxury.
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vivian
Dec 11th, 2007 at 2:35 am
Dear Bobby,
Pastafarianism is a delicious religion but I am troubled by its concept of heaven because what is in it seems to be directed at making human males happy (except for women who like beer). Could you please address this oversight? Did the FSM not provide for the happiness of women after death? Is this an intentional slight or do you believe that there are aspects of heaven that would make women as happy as men and which have yet to be discovered?
*
Vivian, there are loads of male strippers around too :) Plus the beer volcane is surrounded by sveral others providing you with a beverage of choice. If you can’t get what you want it wouldn’t be much of a heaven now would it?
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1609!
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Dear Respondents,
Thank you for your kind reassurances and information about heaven. Somehow, I just knew that the Noodly One, in all of His goodness and omniscence, would not forget to provide emotional and physical sustenance for the female of the species. Ramen.
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Excuss me if I’m wrong about this, I don’t hold a degree in partical physics or anything, but I like to read. I was under the impression that there are 4 forces. Elecrtomagnetic force: which is what gives our earth its magnetic poles, Gravitational force: which attracts objects due to their mass (Einstien gives you a visual with a bowling ball on a trampoline bending time and space), weak nuclear force: which is the force that holds electrons around the nucleus of an atom, when energy is released chemically it is because electrons are moving to and from molecules, and finally strong nuclear force: which holds the nucleus of an atom together. Chemical energy is a manifestation of the weak nuclear force; for exampole a stick of dynimite, the explosion is the result of the energy being released as the chemicals oxidize. Nuclear energy, either fission or fusion, is a manifestation of the strong nuclear force, when the a nucleus is broken or two a bonded.
Again, this is my understanding of the 4 forces. I’m also aware that the energy in a nuclear bomb is due to matter being transformed into energy, but I know it has something to do with the amount of energy it takes to break the strong nuclear force. If there is something wrong with this, I will only be too happy to be corrected.
Scientist have a tough time telling you WHAT gravety is, they know how it works, but are a little stumped as the why it exists at all. The same thing with matter, as a Stephen Hawking or if he were still alive, Einstein why there is matter instead of not, they may have trouble answering it. This does not mean we automatically say that something must have made it. It is so natural for a person to assume that Something, someone created everything, but it is just an assumption, and it is very wrong. I admit science is ignorant of some of the basic facts of existance, but sciences ability to admit ignorance should be admired, not attacked.
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@rylore
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The magnificent Pasta Sauce holds everything together!
.
Ramen
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The “scientific” answers here are clearly flawed. It really is quite simple.
The nucleus is held together by His Noodly Appendages. Did you not see the mention of the string theory? This is simply another example of his omnipresence and Supreme Noodliness.
RAmen.
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@Daniel
I think you are confusing weak and electromagnetic forces. Electromagnetic force is what governs chemical reactions and keeps electrons orbitting nuclei. It’s the force that makes like charges attract and unlike charges repel. The weak force is altogether a much, much more subtle force, responsible for relatively fewer smaller effects like beta decay.
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I am undergraduate in physics, and I think brendon is right about his last comment. However, weak interaction and electromagnetism have been unified in the same formalism over the past decades, and now talking of one is talking of the other. (As we know) But who cares in fact? It’s so much easier if it’s the work of the FSM.
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This is not a scientific endorsement—but an historic one. Pastafarianism clearly played an important part in our nation’s founding. When Yankee Doodle put a feather in his hat, what did he call it? Macaroni! I rest my case.
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I find one thing difficult to swallow about the great FSM. Nowhere do I find evidence as to his true nature. Is he Gluten-Free? I need to be able to digest his teachings fully, yet this is incompatible with my biochemistry unless the Noodly one has a Gluten-Free Attribute.
And, as others I’m sure have remarked, a meatless meatball bearing FSM would enable Vegans to worship him with rich sauce and clean consciences.
Could it be that He is Three in One? Regular, Gluten-Free, and Vegan?
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I used to believe, as many do, that humans are haunted by the souls of mentally ill aliens dumped in volcanoes off Hawaii by Xenu, the evil ruler of the Galactic Confederacy 75 million years ago but that I’ve been touched by The Flying Spaghetti Monster’s Noodly Appendage, I can see th error of my ways.
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I used to believe, as many do, that humans are haunted by the souls of mentally ill aliens dumped in volcanoes off Hawaii by Xenu, the evil ruler of the Galactic Confederacy 75 million years ago but since I’ve been touched by The Flying Spaghetti Monster’s Noodly Appendage, I see the error of my ways.
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Cool. A fake religion that has more truth to it than other fake religions like Scifiology or churchianity.
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Just a brief comment on Dr. Bilson-Thompson’s discussion above: there is a more modern version of the logical principle he invoked: Occam’s Electric Razor, which in one form states that the simplest explanation – especially if you’ve thought of it yourself – is usually wrong. This deserves further study, since it goes to the root issue of the Noodly One’s intervention in all human affairs, especially in scientific observation.
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@ Brendon
I just hadda point out an immediate example of the OER/Noodly One intervention issue; many people believe that LIKE charges repel and UNLIKE charges attract!
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I am a first time visitor to your site, and am amazed at the depth and completeness of what you have crafted here. I found your link on a liberal Colorado political website. Clearly FSMism is making some people very nervous and frustrated, and the clever and cohesive way that you deal with detractors is indicative of a very real and strong religious faith. By the way, is there an effort in the works to buy the recently discovered Einstein letter which discusses the childishness of religions? Seems like it would make a good sacred artifact. It sold today in London for a record 170000 pounds.
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I’m not pastafarian, but this makes more sense than christianism, judaism and islam
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Thank you all! It is truly such a joy to read posts that are articulate for a change. Having the scientific community behind us can do absolutely no wrong at all. I am surprised however, no one has seemed to notice the obvious; to me anyway; correlation between String Theory and Noodly Appendages.
Has not anyone noticed the vast amount of choices of pasta in our grocery stores? Not to mention the choices of sauces. It’s mind boggling.
We are the recipients of a renaissance. We are witness’ to the creation of a totally new religion that has a higher moral ethic and makes a stand that is based on equality for all. Kudos to you Bob Henderson. I bet you had know idea just how far this would go.
I envision that one day there will actually be Pirate Ship shaped churches. Licenced and serving all manners of pasta. Strippers of course but that will be well after the children are tucked into their beds.
Stranger things have happened.
Up here in Toronto we used to have a resteraunt chain that had 99 cent spaghetti dinners on Tuesdays. They were quite good too. $5 would get you dinner, a beer, and enough left over to tip the waitress. It was a vegetarian sauce so anyone could eat it. A deal a Pirate could smile at!
@ Marian: His Nooldyness has all the basses covered. Fear not and eat well. The FSM is all about love. health, and respect.
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blessed be thine noodly pasta of the flying spaghetti monster
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I would like it to be known that, alongside pirates reducing global warming, that also the presence of pirates is in direct relation to the price of oil.
I am no Pastafarian, I’m a Christian who finds this fascinating, but I know a trend when I see it.
The link is here http://www.google.com/trends?q=global+warming%2C+pirates%2C+oil+prices&ctab=0&geo=all&date=mtd&sort=1
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Friends, I have had a revelation! Right here in St. Paul, Minnesota, there is a portion of I-94 known as Spaghetti Junction. And, not far from this sacred roadway is an old Italian grocery store that sells PASTA! All this time, this subtle and profound proof of His Noodliness’ existance, traveled by thousands of commuters every day, has run right past the Capitol and the state government offices. Could it be that the Noodly Appendage has guided my state’s history? Was it indeed He Who blessed us with breweries and flour mills? Fellow Pastafarians, I invite you to come to my fair city on pilgrimage to bask in the true presence of The Flying Spaghetti Monster. Bring safety vests; it’s a busy multilane highway!
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Wow! i being athiest have now seen the truth! thank you so much for the enlightenment
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Just recently discovered FSMism, and as I always felt a little ashamed on census not being able to give all answer, but now I’ll be able to tell this one.
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One question to all the “Can He make a meatball so heavy, he cannot lift it?” Well, why would He, in his infinite Noodlyness, want to? And i’m pretty sure He is the creator, not a weightlifter or a bodybuilder.
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Marian Says:
I find one thing difficult to swallow about the great FSM. Nowhere do I find evidence as to his true nature. Is he Gluten-Free? I need to be able to digest his teachings fully, yet this is incompatible with my biochemistry unless the Noodly one has a Gluten-Free Attribute.
And, as others I’m sure have remarked, a meatless meatball bearing FSM would enable Vegans to worship him with rich sauce and clean consciences.
Could it be that He is Three in One? Regular, Gluten-Free, and Vegan?
Nay, he has two Arch-Noodles, Gluten-Free, And Vegan. Vegan is boring though.
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FSM is as close to a twelve step program for recovering Southern Baptistists as I can find.
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i just wanted to say that I love this site
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Shalom, Malca,
Welcome to our site. Stay and read and have fun here. When you’re ready, give us your contribution.
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=pirates-rational-choice&SID=mail&sc=emailfriend
http://news.yahoo.com/s/csm/20090310/cm_csm/yspencer
http://home.cc.umanitoba.ca/~altemey/
Here’s some good reading that I’ve found.
RAmen
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I’d just like to say that I myself have been touched by His Noodliness. Last night as I was staring at the last chunk of garlic in what had been an exquisite plate of bolognese, I found myself staring straight into the lambent gaze of the FSM himself. I had an immediate epiphany (and slight wind). My ecological career and firm faith in the wealth of evidence that supports our understanding of the evolutionary process were shaken to their respective cores by the sudden realisation that everything was – of course! – ultimately created by a supernatural conglomeration of pasta, tomatoes and minced beef (with perhaps a dash of Worcester sauce).
As a convert I am now campaigning hard to be allowed teach Pastafarianism along side Dawinism in my tutorials. I would go further in demonstrating my new found faith, but I can’t find a decent pirate outfit and my eyepatch itches something chronic….
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@ – Dr Tom Moorhouse #183,
Welcome aboard. It is our long term goal to exclude religious doctrine from the science curricula of the public schools, so we are in this for the long haul. The eye patch fits easier with practice. Trust me. The tricorn hat is the easiest to start with and is easiest to observe the distractions of a classroom while wearing. May the sauce be with you.
RAmen
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Pasta has been around for, well, far longer than any of us can remember. I’m pretty sure that all of us has eaten anything by Chef Boy Arrrrr Dee. I’m just saying!
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Can you provide more information on this for the rest of us far-away (Europe) NFL fans?
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@ Dallas Cowboys Witten Throwback Jersey. Sorry dude. Wrong site. I’m sure there must be an NFL site out there for you. I don’t even know it there are NFL fans here. I’m not one. It’s hard to care when you don’t. I’m Canadian so I’m more into the CFL which is really small time compared to the NFL But your more than welcome to visit us.
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I have just witnessed a miracle. We were starving when his Noodliness implanted a thought… I could phone and pick up lasagne!!! We were saved as one lasagne and a healthy salad, fed the whole crowd (estimated at over 500 believers)
PS May I nominate a candidate for sainthood?
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Ha!
You would think that they world have OK’d it at the beginning instead of allowing it to go so long without saying a thing and then bringing it back up when it was too late. I don’t understand it at all. Zenerx
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Obligatory hate message.
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This looks suspicious. What do you think? http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/ufos/2460780/Something-fishy-has-cropped-up.html
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this is fsm!
http://www.af.mil/shared/media/photodb/photos/060516-F-9712C-956.JPG
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@Daniel #158
Well, there is a fifth force under concideration, and with good reason. Dark Energy, the force that grows stronger the farther two things are from each other. It’s very interesting. I’m not saying you’re wrong on any other points, just saying that there may be 5 types of energies soon!
Yays!
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christians, muslims, jews, and others sects of religion have all been at war with each other over idealogy and belief in a god who you cant even see. If the FSM theory is accepted into the curiculum then a generation of children can grow up with belief in somthing you can actualy see and that has caused no war.
praise his noodly appendage
ramen
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woah I didn’t beleive at first now I am a true follower
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