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happy Holidays everybody

Published December 14th, 2016 by Bobby Henderson

The Holiday[1] season is here again. How to Spread the Word of the FSM? Here are a few ideas:

• The Holiday e-Card machine is up and running again this year.

You can send a festive Holiday e-Card to your friends and family with a personalized message here. Below are a few of the designs:

 

 

FSM Ministry Nominations

Also — this season, if you know someone with impeccable character, ready to serve as a spiritual leader, you can nominate them to the FSM Ministry.

FSM Ministers will receive Lithograph Paper Certificates and PVC Minister’s ID cards, and will be added to the official registry. You can order here.

 

 

Or how about a festive FSM tree (this one courtesy of Trevor)

fsmtree

 

Here’s Tarun’s tree:

taruntree2

 

Amy spotted this amazing display on her neighbor’s house in Everett, WA:

houstlights

 

 

[1] A note on Holiday: years ago, we noticed there was a shift in the way people expressed winter greetings — fewer “Merry Christmas’s” and more “happy holidays”. We concluded that these people were most likely Pastafarians (albeit many of them in secret) wishing people a happy Holiday – referring to our winter celebration Holiday, also known as ChriFSMas.



153 Responses to “happy Holidays everybody”

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  1. DrSunflower says:

    Thanks! Spread the noodly word,!
    Happy Noodlemas everyone. (Or chrisfmas if so preferred)
    Being a recent convert, I have a theological question:
    Have any sightings been reported of The Great Noodly One in female form?
    If not, would it be blasphemous to assume the possibility?
    Given the almightyness of the FSM, why would He limit himself to just being of one gender?
    Just asking…
    Thank you in advance for enlightening my ignorance.
    May the Sauce be with you,
    Dr Sunflower

    • Keith says:

      It is difficult to recognise if the FSM is in male or female, or indeed any specific form as his meatballs look like a pair of nadgers to some and a pair of bazookas to others. Personally i don’t think it matters.

      • DrSunflower says:

        :-)
        Thanks!

      • FSM newbie says:

        Victor/Victoria

        • Sunflower says:

          Indeed!

    • Fat Bastard says:

      Dr Sunflower, I believe it would be quite appropriate to imagine or discover The FSM wearing mascara, panties and bra. He/she/it would simply be amused.

    • Excelsior says:

      Sunflower,
      Pastafarianism is different from those religions that only tolerate sexual “straights”, some going so far as to throw homosexuals from the roof tops. The FSM opens his arms not only to straights but also to all the LGBTQ and many more sexual orientations that you will find only in Aliens from other Worlds. That’s because the FSM has all these sexual orientations that you can imagine or not imagine, so he/she/it/etc. is compassionate to everybody. Everyone is welcome!

      • DrSunflower says:

        Excellent! I was hoping for an answer along those lines. Apparently I’ve found me a tribe. Yay! Let there be no limits to the imagination.

    • Cap'n Bucatini says:

      On Facebook, we refer to the FSM as ‘Quob’:

      “Quob comes in many forms.” “Quobs noodly appendages.” Etc.

      See also: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Quob

  2. Excelsior says:

    Hi everybody! Happy ChriFSMas, Merry Noodleness, Merry Pastamas, Merry Xmas, Happy Holidays, Yes even Merry Christmas, or St. Nicholas Day, Hannuka, etc. After all, we are a heteroreligious society, “All gods were created equal” is our motto, although “some were created more equal than others” as George Orwell put it. And the most equal of all, of course, is the FSM! All Glory to the FSM! Ramen!

  3. DrSunflower says:

    St Nicholas is no god, just a dirty old man (the dutch epithet “kindervriend” might be translated as “lover of children”). Besides, he’s returned to Spain already, at least according to Dutch lore.
    Apart from that, merry everything! And glory to The Divine Noodliness!

  4. Sunflower says:

    LOVE the chrifsmas tree, btw.

  5. Cap'n Bucatini says:

    Merry Chrifsmas, everyone! May you all be touched by Quobs noodly appendages this Holiday season!

  6. Keith says:

    Merry Yuletide Season to everyone, whether you are celebrating with the family on a sunlit beach with palm trees (as a pirate would), or hunkered down by the fire for the winter. Enjoy with your family , friends or the cat. Just enjoy!

    • Patroller says:

      Disabled toilet.

    • Sunflower says:

      Probably with all of them, and the Big Noodle in the Sky.

      • Rasputin says:

        Dear Sunflower, welcome to our church! My understanding is that humans were supposed to be multisexual, but the FSM was drunk and some of us became straights. Do whatever feels right, providing it’s with consenting adults.

        • Sunflower says:

          Why, thank you!
          I kinda like that explanation, especially compared to all the idiocy and repression concernig sexual orientation that the Abrahamic religions set us up with. not that i mind that much, being that repression and neurosis provide me with my livelihood (i’m a psychiatrist), but i see the amount of suffering it causes. i’ll go with the big Noodly one and quob’s appendages!

        • Keith says:

          Dear Sunflower. As a psychiatrist, perhaps you could give a quick professional opinion on why a troll will visit a site, spout meaningless crap, say goodbye and then keep revisiting the site. Does (he?) need us as a crutch to help overcome feelings of inferiority?

        • Fat Bastard says:

          Doctoral research reveals that Internet trolls are psychopathic, narcissistic, Machiavellian, sadistic, attention-whores. They will do anything for attention because their private life is a meaningless vacuum. They attempt to project their inadequacies and pain onto others for momentary relief.
          The most effective treatment is Lead Therapy, delivered directly to their brain, however, in many counties, this is illegal. Never respond in anger, pity, hurt, disgust or, claim victory (all troll food).
          Experts recommend a few treatments. Drip-feeding them tainted morsels or, feeding them until they explode, is for experts only, seems to be a waste of time, but, one has to learn somewhere; accept that, like roaches, trolls will never be completely eradicated.
          Starving them, despite their escalating and pitiful pleas, is effective, however, even when wafer thin, they rarely completely die. A combination of all treatments is recommended.
          It is arguable that personality disorders (as mentioned above) are not mental disorders; it is the narrowness of expectations of social conformity that creates the so-called disorders.

        • Sunflower says:

          Reply to Keith/FB, no reply button available:

          I agree with fat Bastard, but have one other explanation: boredom. Comes with the meaningless vacuum. I agree with the therapeutic recommendations.
          What you mention about PD not being mental disorders but a result of narrowness of expectation IMHO also goes for some so-called “Axis I” disorders. At least if you don’t look any further than DSM-criteria. I’m a strong advocate for increasing the “bandwidth of normalcy” so to speak. the problem thus far in that respect is that if a phenomenon is considered normal instead of disordered, Insurance won’t cover treatment/help. so in order to properly help people i have to label them with a disorder first. which wouldn’t be a problem if the label didn’t cause stigma, but it does.

        • Fat Bastard says:

          Sunflower, my qualifications are in psychology and I have worked in the field for twenty years in a multicultural setting. The DSM is certainly useful, but, I viewed it as a forensic & cultural conformity instrument long ago. All of the so-called ‘dramatic disorders’ may well have a biochemical explanation, but, as you suggest, who is to say what is normal? In my experience, people labled with a disorder, then proceed to justify and fulfil that expectation. Often, trapped in their homes, high on meds is as good as it gets.
          In my field, the person who complains is the person with the problem. It can take quite a while to explain this to a long-suffering ‘nice’ person trying to live with a psychopath, or, in a cultural psychotic soup.

        • Fat Bastard says:

          Sunflower, I do hope you manage to use the line that The FSM is the only sane choice.

        • Sunflower says:

          @ Fat Bastard,
          Always nice to meet a sane colleague,
          Fortunately I live and work in the Netherlands, which leaves me a little more room for doing what i think is appropriate and bending the rules when needed (or rather, report my stuff in the way the latest fad demands and otherwise doing what i always do). the self fulfilling prophecy aspect of labeling is a serious problem as far as i’m concerned, because people can trap themselves in a label and society can do the same. On top of that it can function as an excuse for not taking responsibility when needed.
          On the other hand, especially with the more biochemically/genetically based disorders (e.g. bipolar/mood and psychotic disorders) people can be seriously impaired from time to time and here at least this side of the ocean a label can help people receive appropriate care and social security benefits. So there are more sides tot this (of course, there always are)

        • Fat Bastard says:

          Sunflower, many people do indeed trap themselves, clutching their diagnoses, and avoid responsibility for whatever they can. In itself, that may become their biggest problem, or, at least, a new one. One advantage of my studies was several years of anthropology – mythology, ritual and magic. It becomes easy to spot the same forces at play in our culture.
          Stigma is an immense problem. I put posters up in my town, listing famous, admired people with various conditions.
          I have a client with schizophrenia who sees words streaming from people’s mouths. Admiringly, I tell her that I wish I could do that. Normalisation and acceptance is so effective, however, I am sure you are aware that our culture ‘sacrifices’ perceived ‘deviants’ in order to feel sane. In many tribal cultures, people with schizophrenia have increased social status (they tell the best stories) and do not suffer so badly. Indigenous American cultures are famous for studies demonstrating this.
          As you work in the Netherlands, I am curious and must ask, does cannabis have psychiatric uses?

        • Sunflower says:

          @fb:
          Again, i totally agree. I often tell my residents that our population’s problems can be divided into roughly two categories, especially when limited to neurosis: Those who persist in taking responsibility that basically belongs with someone else and those who refuse to take their own. Nuance provided if appropriate, of course. Check out Ted Borges and the Crazywise project for your view on schizophrenia. I recently litteraly told one of my clients (Not schizophrenic, but likely schizotypical with a penchant for drugs and spiritual seeking) that were he in an indigenous culture, i’d refer him to a shaman to be trained. However, our culture sadly lacks such openmindedness.
          As for the cannabis, well…
          I see a lot of people with ADHD who use it to wind down and i have seen some veterans and trauma patients who use it to help them sleep. I even know of one case where a man with schizophrenia was allowed one blunt a day (more would increase his paranoia, less would leave him restless) and that helped in easing his suffering. In holland we do have some medical cannabinoid preparations that are prescribed, but mostly with chronic pain, not so much psychiatry.

        • Patroller says:

          Dreadful stuff from the lot of you.

        • Keith says:

          That was an interesting conversation. I must admit that some of it went over my head but very interesting nevertheless. Thank you Sunflower and Fat Bastard for the discussion.

        • Fat Bastard says:

          Sunflower, I spend much of my time on continuous research, and, I have an accumulation of questions appropriate for a psychiatrist, but, I will not ask them all at once. I note your wish to refer a client to a shaman, which, reminds me of Timothy Leary’s work with recidivists, and, the current exemption of First Nation Americans for mescalin as a treatement for alcoholism.
          My first question: Carfentanyl is about 100,000 times more potent than morphine. How can this be? Who would want to develop such a substance? What affect does this have on heroin users who inadvertantly buy it, apart from killing them? Is this the result of the War On Drugs?
          In my country (Australia) the gleefully publicised death toll from potent drug use is used as a scare tactic, but, it seems to have the opposite outcome. To me, heroin (or methamphetamine) should be prescribed to those who abuse it, and, publicity should be absent. I note that the Netherlands has one of the lowest rates of cannabis use. Is this because of the liberal policy?

        • Fat Bastard says:

          Sunflower, I have schitzotypal clients (result of repeated incestuous rape), who have tactile hallucinations and (incorrectly) predict my thinking and intentions. I laugh and discus their affect and evidence in detail. My training is to repeatedly raise their anxiety, but, then, to ‘disappoint’ them (and then to discus that, as well as their attempted manipulation). In your opinion, does this approach work? 50% is good enough.

        • Sunflower says:

          @fb:
          As far as I know, carfentanyl is originally meant for the operating theatre as an anaesthetic during surgery. I don’t think it was ever meant to be used as a painkiller apart from that, but i’m not an anaesthesiologist so I’m not sure on that one.
          As far as war on drugs goes, the Dutch (and also the Swiss as far as i know) have long ago taken the viewpoint that harm reduction is far more important than morally motivated pressure on abstinence. We do controlled heroin distribution to a number of clients who don’t respond well to other substitution therapy and as far as I know this works, in the sense that people can free up their minds to pursue other goals once their addiction has been taken care of. When they gain a wider perspective sometimes abstinence become possible in the long run. I dont have the stats on that one but there’s been research published.
          I’m not an expert on psychosis or spectrum disorders, i mostly deal with neuroses and ADHD, but your approach makes sense as far as i can tell. Reality checking with safe, nonjudging individuals who can occasionally have a good laugh with you on your convoluted thoughts are always a good idea i think. Also for all of us who are not designated crazy (yet).
          As for the cannabis, that’s a tough one because our homegrown stuff has become a lot stronger in the past few decades and thus more harming to susceptible individuals. We have a typically Dutch compromise in the law that classifies cannabis as “soft”drugs as opposed to “hard” drugs, e.g. cocaine, heroin, xtc, amphetamine and GHB to name a few. Which means that under current legislation it is sold in a limited amount of shops and people who possess limited quantities (5 grams max) are not punishable by law. Here you can even grow your own, to a maximum of 5 plants in your backyard or on your terrace. But given the correlation between cannabis addiction and psychotic disorders I’m not sure this is still a good idea, because it leads to the false impression that cannabis is not harmful.
          Right now our biggest challenge is with GHB which can be cococted from a number of household chemicals and is extrmely addictive and dangerous. But again, although i have some experience in addiction medicine i’m no expert on that one.
          Does this provide an answer to your quetions?

        • Fat Bastard says:

          Sunflower, you may be aware that the USA Department of Health has a patent on cannabidiol as a neuroprotectant and anti-psychotic. The reason for the higher percentage of THC is likely the same reason that, during Prohibition of alcohol, people preferred spirits to beer.
          My interest in the long-term health effects of Carfentanyl is because a mere one gram can be posted across borders, mixed with a hundred kilos of inert material, and sold as if it’s pure morphine. I believe its only legitimate use is in dart guns for elephants. It was the substance used by the Russians to end the theatre hostage crisis. Unfortunately, they ‘forgot’ to tell the medical teams to bring Narcan with them and 120 hostages died.
          Some intersting reading that you may have already covered. St. Gnochi may also be interested.
          http://druglibrary.org/schaffer/library/studies/cu/cu8.html

        • Sunflower says:

          @Fb: you are way ahead on me at this subject. Thanks for the link. The Dutch have their own sordid history when it comes to opium trade by the way, the VOC used to be quite active in that respect.
          As for health, opiates are not as much of a long term health risk when it comes to damage of brain and especially internal organs as is, say, alcohol. Its mostly the risky lifestyle inevitably involved that makes for the reduced life expectancy or so i’m told. Smoking of heroin (chasing the dragon) is however quite damaging to the lungs, as is crack cocaine, and injecting with dirty needles poses its own health risks. As for our relatively low cannabis use, this might be due to legislation as afore mentioned, because it reduces the risk of stepping stone and keeps one time users out of the criminal circuit.
          For cannabis and neuroprotection, thus may explain its use among multiple sclerosis patients, but might also be the key factor in the risk for psychosis, perhaps because it interferes with pruning in the teenage/adolescent years. Educated guessvon my behalf, not sure if this is right. I also think cannabis use and development of psychosis might be less of a causal connection but more of a final common pathway (i.e, the use of cannabis is a symptom of a development of psychosis, and a derrimental one)

        • Patroller says:

          Que?

        • Patroller says:

          Parley vous francais?

        • Patroller says:

          A very merry Christmas to all the plankton who inhabit the FSM. May you all rot as the fools that you are.

  7. ArtNJ says:

    I don’t mean to offend you guys, but your winter holiday seems very arbitrary and made up. Also, and this is huge, I don’t see anything mentioned about needing to take off from work or receive presents. (Yes, receive. You can already give presents to people of other religions. A proper Pastafarian holiday would helpfully guide people of other religions as to when to give Pastafarians presents.)

    • Fat Bastard says:

      What’s with this winter crap? You’re holding the World map upside down! It’s mid summer, Santa surfs in and my presents from heathens have already arrived.

    • Apprentice Frederic says:

      Art (from Joisey?), your post more appropriate from one of some few pagans irritated by Christians ripping off their holidays. But I’m happy to imagine a ChrisFSMas tree next to the manger in Bethlehem. It was the last time you f…ers noticed that humility, compassion, or tolerance and love of your neighbor mattered. And you couldn’t have posted until the Internet was invented in 1269…, anyway …

    • Rasputin says:

      Dear ArtNJ, Christmas is just a rip-off renaming of the Roman “Saturnalia”, a festival to rejoice in the rebirth of the sun after the darkest day of the year. Stonehenge in England was built for the same purpose. It’s a good time for Pastafarians to eat pasta, drink beer and get laid because everyone else is doing it at the same time.

      • FSM newbie says:

        Amen!

    • FSM newbie says:

      I like presents!

  8. Gnocchi St. Pudding says:

    I am indeed sitting around a fire. An after braaivleis camp fire. Aussie guy who’s been punting cannabis oil all night turns to me and informs me he’s a fortune teller. I tell him: “Go for it , brother” and he predicts that in my next life I’ll be a budgie. Then I overhear him later telling another Aussy Pasta that he, to would be reincarnated, but as a cockatoo. To another Aussie Brother he predicts his reincarnation as an emu. I ask him then, why I, an African, will not become an Ostrich instead of a budgie. He says that “These Things” are my karma and ordained by the FSM “and He knows how much you love Australia.”. Well, Keith, it’s OK by me as long as I’m born in South Australia, Barossa Valley my haunts. And, if you’ll let me have your address, Keith, I’ll fly over your house. Heresh to Old Brown sherry and shtimulating convershation thish Yulltide.

    • Apprentice Frederic says:

      Happy Holidaysh to you, most Sainted G. and all of the Communicants whom I admire and respect! Merry ChrisFSMas!!!!!

    • Keith says:

      If you come back as a budgie I’ll be sure to school my cats in the proper forms of etiquette (poor little Turtledove is always having birds launched at her, and she doesn’t even like eggs). The chances are, though, that I’ll be reincarnating before you. I’m going to come back as a ghost pokemon because I want special powers like shadow ball and dream eater.

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