Please do not delude yourself

Published November 11th, 2015 by Bobby Henderson

Been a while since I posted one of these, but this one irked me.

Please do not delude yourself that people of real faith are not interested themselves in where you and the other FSM assholes live, and where your loved ones attend school, or work etcetera….

I am not making any threats of any kind, as I am a non-violent Christian.

However, all of the people with my beliefs are not so willing to tolerate your silliness.

My advice is to shut down this pathetic folly, before people far less tolerant of your mockery of their spirituality take an active interest in your membership on a very personal level…

Kevin B

Not sure if that’s a threat or general douchery. It’s weird that people can send such vile messages and assume (hope?) that we won’t publish their identities. I don’t have much interest in publicly shaming, but it’s tempting. You get a C for effort, Kevin. Next time leave an anonymous note or something on my car.

But I think we should give this guy the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s having a rough day, not not-so-subtly threatening us. I think Kevin needs the FSM in his life.

2,505 Responses to “Please do not delude yourself”

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  1. Gnocchi Saint Pudding says:

    And so we set off in the year 2017 FSM, once more to confront the Kraken and reclaim our Sauceror.

    But oh, under what difficult circumstances we tried to muster a decent crew! Captain Bluebeard, the maggoty swine, had gone awol and Captain Birdseye, unfortunately, had a prior manicure appointment. Rasputin was last seen being chased by yet another irate husband down Picadilli Circus clutching his underpants and trousers under his arm and furiously trying to balance his colander on his head.

    We riff-raff, scummy lower-level pirates had no choice but to muster ourselves…mmm.

    Surprisingly, just then, Patroller stepped to the fore! We furnished her with a pair of plastic shark-proof water wings, (arm-floaties) sun-block, a packet of sandwiches and we especially furnished her with doctored navigational charts. She was last seen splashing due north-west towards the Bermuda Triangle. However, don’t hold your breaths. She has a record of leaving but keeps coming back….

  2. Gnocchi Saint Pudding says:

    ….and then it came to pass, that, typically not wanting to be left out of the limelight, those bloody loudmouth Ozzes, – Keith, Fat Bastard, SKiwiman, sent message by carrier pidgeon of their intent to join our crew.

    Message was: “Taking our own scenic route by paddle steamer and will rendevous with you lot somewhere approximately on the High Seas.”

    • Keith says:

      Our paddle steamer, the “S.S. Fartknocker” is powered by honest to goodness flatulence. As long as we have a good supply of inferior beers like Fosters we will never run out of steam!

      • Rasputin says:

        Hey Keith, I always buy wine from Australia, New Zealand, South Africa etc. in preference to stuff from Europe. However, I’ve never thought much of Australian lager.

        • Keith says:

          There is a rather amusing brand of wine her, called “The Wine Men of Gotham”. It has a label on it which has three rather manic looking men, one of whom looks to me like Charles Fort.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Rasputin, I’d sell my soul for a few pints of real ale. Try Crown, it’s what Australian embassies serve at their functions. I’ll open one right now.

  3. Keith says:

    I notice that Tampa in Florida holds a Gasparilla Pirate Fest on the last Saturday in January. This seems to be something Pastafarians would be enjoying but I didn’t see anything about it when I did a search on this FSM site.
    Here is a link to their website
    I only found out about it from the National Geographic Angry Birds Seasons companion.

    • Rasputin says:

      Excellent info, Keith. I hope some Pastafarians might dress the part and make their presence known.

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