Kiva Team FSM has reached $2 Million in Loans

Published March 24th, 2014 by Bobby Henderson


Team FSM has reached $2 Million in loans on the micro-lending site Kiva. We’re now the top-lending religious congregation on Kiva, above the Buddhists, Catholics, Muslims, and — especially pleasing to me – above the Mormons, who we’ve been in a friendly competition with for years. Congratulations everyone!

suck it, mormons

What is Kiva? Kiva is a platform where you can make small loans to people in poor areas that need help starting small business. We make small, interest-free loans towards the projects we support, and Kiva combines them to fund the loan to the person who wants to build a small workshop, farm, restaurant, fruit stand, etc. These are interest-fee loans in places like Cambodia, Peru, Uganda — places where traditional bank lending to the poor is unavailable (or predatory). Kiva ensures that the loans are paid out and that the money is paid back. A lot of us feel this is the best way of bringing economic growth to the poorest areas.

I’ve had a good experience with Kiva and I encourage anyone interested to check it out. And please join our amazing team and help us continue to trounce the mainstream religion teams.

562 Responses to “Kiva Team FSM has reached $2 Million in Loans”

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  1. bruce and susan says:


    • Johnny Elvis says:

      A MUST READ:

      Good day everyone, I am Mr Johnny Elvis by name, i am a citizen of new york USA, i have been looking forward for a genuine loan company for the past 2 months and all i got was group of scams who made me to trust them and at the end of the day, they duped me of $7000 without giving anything in return, all my hope was lost, i got confused and frustrated,i find it very difficult to feed my family, i never wanted to have anything to do with loan companies on net again, because i never trusted any loan company again since i was scammed, so i went to borrow some money from a friend, i told him all that happened and he said he can help me, that he knows a loan company that can help me, that he just got a loan from them, he directed me on how to apply for the loan, i did as he told me, i applied, though i never believed but i tried and to my greatest surprise my loan was granted to me within 24 hours, i could not believe, i am happy and rich again and i am thanking God that upon this scams all over the places a genuine company like this still exist, please i advise everyone out there who are in need of loan and can be reliable, trusted and capable of paying back at the due time of funds to contact (eladioloancompany@yahoo.com ) or (eladioloancompany@gmail.com) and be free from scams on the internet. they will never disappoint you.

      • Jo Switten says:

        You will hear a knock on the door. It will be the feds. Follow the green rabbit, mister Elvis…

        • clarisa steve says:

          Hello i am Clarisa Steve from Florida USA,when i was in need of a loan of $230,000 to transit a business my friend introduced Mark Oscar loan firm to me because she got a loan from them sometime ago, so I was so scared because of the scams in the internet but my friend encouraged me to give them a try and i gave them a try and i got my loan within 4hrs and their ways was very easy no credit check,no cosigner,no collateral and their interest rate is just 2%, so i will advice anyone out there that need a loan to contact them via their Email:(oscarloanfinance@hotmail.com).

    • Anita Smith says:

      How i got my loan from Mr John Peter thanks be to God almighty for his kindness and goodness upon my life what will i have done if not for Mr John Peter who i will always see as a God sent man who God have chosen to help people who are in financial need like me a poor widow who was short listed and short of funds a woman who have two kids and has so many responsibilities a woman who
      lost her husband and has bills to pay consisting of both house rent and electricity bills and was scammed the sum of $1,800 usd i never believed that there is still a legit loan company online who still believe that people are in financial problem and are ready to help after been scammed $1,800 i never believed that there is still a legit loan company until i came across a post that
      was posted by one Mrs marina on this same forum she explained how she got her loan from tom John Peter who is the guranty trust funds loan company by then i was having no more option rather than to try my luck for the third time’s to avoid losing my home(accommodation)so i think about it
      i came to a conclusion that i should try again so i contacted Mr John Peter via email they tended to me in less than 12hours i applied for a loan sum of $50,000 usd the loan was approved with low interest rate and after the processing i got my loan in my bank account yesterday so i want to quickly use this medium to advise any loan seeker out there to contact Mr John Peter via email:( johnpeterloanfirms01@gmail.com ) he will definitely give you a loan you require without any stress once again thanks be to God for his mercy upon my life

  2. Daniel says:

    Wow we flew past the everyone.

  3. Randy says:

    FSM is surely pleased!

  4. cherry says:

    Am Mrs Benita obaba from USA,i want to testify of the good work of DR FRANK.
    i was humiliated by my ex husband and also treated like a commoner because he got in contact with with a harlot who turned him against me totally.
    i need vengeance by all means so i got in contact with DR FRANK who help fight against the harlot and the two of them had a serious marital breakdown and confusion was now their breakfast and all and everything went down the drain and he is begging me now like seriously,as am saying this right now my husband is even more 100% in love with me again but i don’t want to give him any chance again because i don’t want to get hurt.
    so whatever your situation look like just email the below address now.

    • Keith says:

      I did not trouble to click on the e-mail address. Before we go any further, why should I give a pinch of shit who DR FRANK is?

      • Fred Phelps says:

        You bastards; you will all burn in Hell! Thank God for dead pirates!
        It was Me who gave the most to KIVA and not you damned fag sinners. Harlots, the lot of you!
        I, from beyond the grave, am Dr Frank; revenge is mine ……..etc.

        • Keith says:

          Yes Fred: I am a fag and a bit of a harlot. When I die I won’t be threatening people from beyond the grave. Instead I’ll be joining the strippers by the beer volcano (with a better body and face than I have now, I hope).

        • Fred Phelps says:

          Pleeeeease let me in; I promise I’ll reform; I want beer and gay strippers too; I repent; thank God for dead bigots……etc.

        • Keith says:

          If you are touched by his noodley appendage you will surely be anointed with sauce.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Keith, would that be chef’s ‘special’ sauce?

        • Keith says:

          Yes: that would be the sauce that you can carry to the ends of the earth.

    • Ferenst Anrtplogist says:

      Deer Mrs. obaba,
      I xtend my simpathy regarding you’re situashun. DR FRANK is a highlee respected kollegue of mine. We do good things to promote piece and hermony in this sad wurld. Is confusion anything like an Egg-MacMuffin? Nothing lik a good brekfast to start the day. I highly recommend to anyone whatever there situation look like just email the below address now.

      Ferenst Anrtplogist

      • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        I recently saw a picture of Mrs. Obaba, and she’s quite the looker. Mrs. Obaba, can I be Frank with you?

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          I saw the same picture and I nearly turned to stone. I would be Frank with her.

  5. Paul says:

    Atheists sit at $14,936,325, Christians at $10,461,475 as of today. I don’t know why your data is so far off.
    I can’t upload the screencap, but I got it here: http://www.kiva.org/teams

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Paul, without checking your data, I think the figure of $2 million is for Pastafarians only, which, I think, is remarkable for a disorganised bunch of scurvy pirates. Also, we are not a-theists, but, True Believers.
      Obviously, pirates are caring people. Aaaaarghhhh….

    • Zach says:

      Paul, you have to click on categories, and then click “Religious Congregations.” You will actually find that the Bahai have surpassed the Mormons now. But we are still in first. Praise his noodliness and happy Pastover!!

  6. Rod says:

    Congrats fellow Pastafarians. Ive got a question about my search for information on his noodley-ness, would Allah Denti be a proper way to end a prayer or just R’amen?


    • Rev. Wulff says:

      Part of the wonderfulness that is Pastafarianism is that there is no dogma. You are free to end your prayers however you like. I prefer R’amen because it’s brief and punchy.

      Sauce be with you.

      • Rod says:

        Thanks for the help Rev. Wulff, much appreciated. May your meatballs always have a nice sauce to marinate in, R’amen!


    Do you need an urgent loan for business or to pay bills at 3% interest rate? We give out loan to individual and cooperate bodies ranging from $3000 dollars to $20 million dollars maximum duration period of 1 to 30 years, If Yes Contact us with the below details.
    (1) Names______
    (2) Country________
    (3) Phone Number_______
    (4) Gender_________
    (5) Loan Amount________
    (6) Duration:_________
    (7) Monthly Income____
    Yours Sincerely,
    email: info.williamsmartinloan@gmail.com


      Dear Dr. Williams Martin Loan Firm, Please loan me $20 million for 30 years. I urgently need this money to open a whorehouse in Salt Lake City, Utah.

      • Williams Martin Loan Firm says:

        Dear IMP: We must regretfully decline your request. There are already too many whorehouses in SLC and we doubt that you will recoup much on your investment. It is well-known that the Archangel Moroni blows his horn whenever a virgin walks past the Temple; he has been silent for many decades now.

    • ConservativePastafarian says:

      I need a grant to take stripper lessons. That skill will be very useful to me after I have finished with this life.

  8. marco says:

    Today it’s a special day, the day when our Lord The Flying Spaghetti Monster resurrected, after being overcooked. Rejoice with us and exchange colored meatballs with your friends.

    Buona Pasta a tutti. Happy Paster to everybody,


    • Rod says:

      I plan to celebrate Paster with some pasta carbonara.

      May all your treasure hunts be filled with lots of booty fellow pirate.

      Al’lah denti, R’amen.

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      He rolled aside a meatball, and saw his shadow, so we have 6 more weeks of Ad Lente.

      • Keith says:

        And a temporal recursion.

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