683878 Views
122 Comments

Kiva Team FSM has reached $2 Million in Loans

Published March 24th, 2014 by Bobby Henderson

2million

Team FSM has reached $2 Million in loans on the micro-lending site Kiva. We’re now the top-lending religious congregation on Kiva, above the Buddhists, Catholics, Muslims, and — especially pleasing to me – above the Mormons, who we’ve been in a friendly competition with for years. Congratulations everyone!

suck it, mormons

What is Kiva? Kiva is a platform where you can make small loans to people in poor areas that need help starting small business. We make small, interest-free loans towards the projects we support, and Kiva combines them to fund the loan to the person who wants to build a small workshop, farm, restaurant, fruit stand, etc. These are interest-fee loans in places like Cambodia, Peru, Uganda — places where traditional bank lending to the poor is unavailable (or predatory). Kiva ensures that the loans are paid out and that the money is paid back. A lot of us feel this is the best way of bringing economic growth to the poorest areas.

I’ve had a good experience with Kiva and I encourage anyone interested to check it out. And please join our amazing team and help us continue to trounce the mainstream religion teams.



122 Responses to “Kiva Team FSM has reached $2 Million in Loans”

1 2 3 9
  1. bruce and susan says:

    EXCELLENT!

  2. Daniel says:

    Wow we flew past the everyone.

  3. Randy says:

    FSM is surely pleased!

  4. cherry says:

    Am Mrs Benita obaba from USA,i want to testify of the good work of DR FRANK.
    i was humiliated by my ex husband and also treated like a commoner because he got in contact with with a harlot who turned him against me totally.
    i need vengeance by all means so i got in contact with DR FRANK who help fight against the harlot and the two of them had a serious marital breakdown and confusion was now their breakfast and all and everything went down the drain and he is begging me now like seriously,as am saying this right now my husband is even more 100% in love with me again but i don’t want to give him any chance again because i don’t want to get hurt.
    so whatever your situation look like just email the below address now.
    zooloozospellcast@yahoo.com

    • Keith says:

      I did not trouble to click on the e-mail address. Before we go any further, why should I give a pinch of shit who DR FRANK is?

      • Fred Phelps says:

        You bastards; you will all burn in Hell! Thank God for dead pirates!
        It was Me who gave the most to KIVA and not you damned fag sinners. Harlots, the lot of you!
        I, from beyond the grave, am Dr Frank; revenge is mine ……..etc.

        • Keith says:

          Yes Fred: I am a fag and a bit of a harlot. When I die I won’t be threatening people from beyond the grave. Instead I’ll be joining the strippers by the beer volcano (with a better body and face than I have now, I hope).

        • Fred Phelps says:

          Pleeeeease let me in; I promise I’ll reform; I want beer and gay strippers too; I repent; thank God for dead bigots……etc.

        • Keith says:

          If you are touched by his noodley appendage you will surely be anointed with sauce.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Keith, would that be chef’s ‘special’ sauce?

        • Keith says:

          Yes: that would be the sauce that you can carry to the ends of the earth.

    • Ferenst Anrtplogist says:

      Deer Mrs. obaba,
      I xtend my simpathy regarding you’re situashun. DR FRANK is a highlee respected kollegue of mine. We do good things to promote piece and hermony in this sad wurld. Is confusion anything like an Egg-MacMuffin? Nothing lik a good brekfast to start the day. I highly recommend to anyone whatever there situation look like just email the below address now.
      zooloozospellcast@yahoo.com

      Luvingly,
      Ferenst Anrtplogist

      • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        I recently saw a picture of Mrs. Obaba, and she’s quite the looker. Mrs. Obaba, can I be Frank with you?

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          I saw the same picture and I nearly turned to stone. I would be Frank with her.

  5. Paul says:

    Atheists sit at $14,936,325, Christians at $10,461,475 as of today. I don’t know why your data is so far off.
    I can’t upload the screencap, but I got it here: http://www.kiva.org/teams

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Paul, without checking your data, I think the figure of $2 million is for Pastafarians only, which, I think, is remarkable for a disorganised bunch of scurvy pirates. Also, we are not a-theists, but, True Believers.
      Obviously, pirates are caring people. Aaaaarghhhh….

    • Zach says:

      Paul, you have to click on categories, and then click “Religious Congregations.” You will actually find that the Bahai have surpassed the Mormons now. But we are still in first. Praise his noodliness and happy Pastover!!

  6. Rod says:

    Congrats fellow Pastafarians. Ive got a question about my search for information on his noodley-ness, would Allah Denti be a proper way to end a prayer or just R’amen?

    Thanks!

    • Rev. Wulff says:

      Part of the wonderfulness that is Pastafarianism is that there is no dogma. You are free to end your prayers however you like. I prefer R’amen because it’s brief and punchy.

      Sauce be with you.

      • Rod says:

        Thanks for the help Rev. Wulff, much appreciated. May your meatballs always have a nice sauce to marinate in, R’amen!

  7. DR.WILLIAMS MARTIN says:

    Do you need an urgent loan for business or to pay bills at 3% interest rate? We give out loan to individual and cooperate bodies ranging from $3000 dollars to $20 million dollars maximum duration period of 1 to 30 years, If Yes Contact us with the below details.
    (1) Names______
    (2) Country________
    (3) Phone Number_______
    (4) Gender_________
    (5) Loan Amount________
    (6) Duration:_________
    (7) Monthly Income____
    Yours Sincerely,
    DR.WILLIAMS MARTIN LOAN FIRM
    email: info.williamsmartinloan@gmail.com

    • INSOLVENT MORMON PIMP says:

      Dear Dr. Williams Martin Loan Firm, Please loan me $20 million for 30 years. I urgently need this money to open a whorehouse in Salt Lake City, Utah.

      • Williams Martin Loan Firm says:

        Dear IMP: We must regretfully decline your request. There are already too many whorehouses in SLC and we doubt that you will recoup much on your investment. It is well-known that the Archangel Moroni blows his horn whenever a virgin walks past the Temple; he has been silent for many decades now.

    • ConservativePastafarian says:

      I need a grant to take stripper lessons. That skill will be very useful to me after I have finished with this life.

  8. marco says:

    Today it’s a special day, the day when our Lord The Flying Spaghetti Monster resurrected, after being overcooked. Rejoice with us and exchange colored meatballs with your friends.

    Buona Pasta a tutti. Happy Paster to everybody,

    Marco

    • Rod says:

      I plan to celebrate Paster with some pasta carbonara.

      May all your treasure hunts be filled with lots of booty fellow pirate.

      Al’lah denti, R’amen.

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      He rolled aside a meatball, and saw his shadow, so we have 6 more weeks of Ad Lente.

      • Keith says:

        And a temporal recursion.

1 2 3 9

Leave a Reply