Kiva Team FSM has reached $2 Million in Loans

Published March 24th, 2014 by Bobby Henderson


Team FSM has reached $2 Million in loans on the micro-lending site Kiva. We’re now the top-lending religious congregation on Kiva, above the Buddhists, Catholics, Muslims, and — especially pleasing to me – above the Mormons, who we’ve been in a friendly competition with for years. Congratulations everyone!

suck it, mormons

What is Kiva? Kiva is a platform where you can make small loans to people in poor areas that need help starting small business. We make small, interest-free loans towards the projects we support, and Kiva combines them to fund the loan to the person who wants to build a small workshop, farm, restaurant, fruit stand, etc. These are interest-fee loans in places like Cambodia, Peru, Uganda — places where traditional bank lending to the poor is unavailable (or predatory). Kiva ensures that the loans are paid out and that the money is paid back. A lot of us feel this is the best way of bringing economic growth to the poorest areas.

I’ve had a good experience with Kiva and I encourage anyone interested to check it out. And please join our amazing team and help us continue to trounce the mainstream religion teams.

1,246 Responses to “Kiva Team FSM has reached $2 Million in Loans”

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  1. Saint Gnocchi says:

    Mike Brown, Arch thief; loan-offer frauding scammer; pond slime slitherer; low life lying louse; swindler and pestilent parasite. Get off this site, fauxface.

  2. Richard Farmer says:

    Are You Financially down ? Do you need a loan to pay off bills or buy a home Or Increase your Business ? Apply for a loan now and get approved. We offer all kinds of loan at a reduced interest rate of 2%. Our loan program is direct and flexible and your financial aim is our success. IF INTERESTED, contact us now via Email: [email protected]

    • Rasputin says:

      Dear Dick, go away. This is not a site for advertising. Also, don’t you mean, “…your financial success is our aim” otherwise it doesn’t make sense.

  3. scott bernand says:

    Attention, Apply for a quick and convenient loan to pay off bills and to start a new financing your projects at a cheapest interest rate of 3%. Do contact us today with loan amount needed as our minimum loan offer is 1,000.00 to any choice of loan amount.I am certified ,registered and legit lender.You can contact me today if you are interested in getting this loan, contact me for more information about the loan process, process like the loan terms and conditions and how the loan will be transferred to you. I need your urgent response if you are interested contact:[email protected]
    scott bernamd.

    • Rasputin says:

      Dear scott bernard, this is at least the second time you’ve advertised here and the second time you’ve spelled you name two different ways in the same entry. That’s three different spellings you’ve used for your name. Don’t you even know your own name, you idiot?

    • Rasputin says:

      Dear Melissa, if you are a genuine lender, please get off this blog and never return. This is a blog, not a site for advertising. Plus if you come on this blog, we will automatically assume you are a fraudster. Please go away and never return.

  4. Mr.BOB Britten says:


    Are you a man or a woman you have been looking for a loan? To expand
    your business or setting up your own business or to pay off your debt
    or house rent if so then we are your answer, We offer loan from 5,000.00
    to the maximum of 500,000,000.00 euro dollars pounds with any duration that
    you can afford and any type of loan requested by the customer must be
    such as:

    * Personal Loan
    * Business Loan
    * Private loan

    And More…..

    3% interest rate and immediately after filling the loan application
    form you can immediately return back to us, following data:


    Name: ______________________________
    Loan Amount Needed: ___________________________
    Sex: ___________________________________________
    Marital Status: _________________________________
    Country: ________________________________________
    State: ________________ Age: _________________
    Telephone No:________________________________
    Loan Duration:__________________________
    monthly Income:______________________________
    Occupation: ______________________
    Purpose of loan: _________________________
    Religion: _____________________________________

    Contact us via email: [email protected]
    Mr.BOB Britten

  5. Keith says:

    I think your husband is not the only one with cancer of the brain.

  6. Rasputin says:

    Don’t write cr*p like this. Nobody’s interested. Your twaddle is much too long, it’s not funny and it fails to mention the FSM. My advice: Keep it short, keep it funny and praise His Noodliness or shut the **** up.

  7. Keith says:

    That’s a good point about mentioning the FSM. This is a website devoted to his/her/its Noodliness and there seem to be few posts (mine included, I am sorry to say) that give due praise to the FSM.

  8. pastamon says:

    y r they allowed on yeeeee website

  9. The Sauceror says:

    Dear pastamon, it is tempting to ban these freaks from our show, but I have to confess that they create a great foil for my own occasional miss-spellings and grammatical errors.

  10. The Sauceror says:

    Fork these FSM-damn “404 errors”! Where is the FSM-damn prophet when you need him? Is anyone else experiencing these frustrations, or is it only a sauceror curse?

  11. The Sauceror says:

    Dear Keith, your comment was genius when placed in the right context at the right place (it made me laugh). However, a Pastafarian might have replaced the word “cancer” with the word “constipation”, or another humorous Pastafarian phrase, which would have made everyone laugh. I recognize that, from your unique sense of humor, this was not intended to be offensive at all. Please, don’t take this as a criticism, but merely as an observation.
    Your friend, and mine, The Sauceror.

  12. Keith says:

    I really have no idea where the post to which I responded is, so I can’t comment on what I wrote.

  13. Rasputin says:

    Kelvin, I’ve already told you: Make a porno movie of yourself getting fauxed by bill. Then post it on a web site where we can see it. Otherwise faux off.

  14. The Sauceror says:

    Some kelvins just don’t get the message. Maybe his brain is set at 0 degrees kelvin. That’s ok, my borched mesom likes an occasional cold snack.

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