Kiva Team FSM has reached $2 Million in Loans

Published March 24th, 2014 by Bobby Henderson


Team FSM has reached $2 Million in loans on the micro-lending site Kiva. We’re now the top-lending religious congregation on Kiva, above the Buddhists, Catholics, Muslims, and — especially pleasing to me – above the Mormons, who we’ve been in a friendly competition with for years. Congratulations everyone!

suck it, mormons

What is Kiva? Kiva is a platform where you can make small loans to people in poor areas that need help starting small business. We make small, interest-free loans towards the projects we support, and Kiva combines them to fund the loan to the person who wants to build a small workshop, farm, restaurant, fruit stand, etc. These are interest-fee loans in places like Cambodia, Peru, Uganda — places where traditional bank lending to the poor is unavailable (or predatory). Kiva ensures that the loans are paid out and that the money is paid back. A lot of us feel this is the best way of bringing economic growth to the poorest areas.

I’ve had a good experience with Kiva and I encourage anyone interested to check it out. And please join our amazing team and help us continue to trounce the mainstream religion teams.

1,004 Responses to “Kiva Team FSM has reached $2 Million in Loans”

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  1. Runzi loan firm says:

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    • Rasputin says:

      Dear Runzi, both Franklin Leo and Williams Hawkins are offering loans at only 2%. Why should I allow you to steal money from my account when the other guys are offering a better rate? Will you consider 1.5% instead? Please reply. If you’re not willing to better their offer, faux off and don’t come back.

      • The Sauceror says:

        Dear got the Runzis, Listen here, mo’ faux. You are a dirty, rotten, scurvy sewer rat, and my LBGT borched mesom is going to eat you for lunch, right after it finishes faux-ing you, the way you try to faux others. If you are as dumb and confused as you always are, please read previous comment.

        • Rasputin says:

          Ha ha ha ha ha! AAaaaarrrhgghhhhh!

      • The Sauceror says:

        Dear Rasputin, agreed. I always prefer to get screwed over at a lower percentage rate. This fraudster is committing highway robbery with a 2% rate. What kind of a scam is he running?

  2. RUNZI LOAN FIRM says:

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    • The Sauceror says:

      Dear Rasputin, check this fraudster out. He thinks he can sell us borched mesoms. I’ll bet he doesn’t even know what a real borched mesom is or looks like. It’s like my grandfather, Grampa Yet Another Sauceror, used to say, “Why buy a borched mesom when the borched mesom milk is free?”. And my younger brother, Oh God Not Another One Sauceror, agrees. We call him ‘One’ for short, to distinguish him from Little Two, Little Three Saucerors …. and so forth. Believe me, nobody ever called us Saucerors ‘boring’.

      • Rasputin says:

        Dear Sauceror, why don’t these faux wits read the comments which we append to their adverts? We’re not asking for much. All we need is a free borched mesom for every client and we’ll do business.

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    • The Sauceror says:

      Andybest, we meet again. Would you like to pet my borched mesom? I promise that it won’t bite unless you are an internet fraudster, in which case, no one can stop it from eating you and turning you into craptep, right after it faux’s you.

      • Rasputin says:

        Dear Andy Pest, what’s important to you? Is it “customers” or “costumers”? Can you supply a costume for sauceror’s borched mesom? Make sure it’s got a pirate hat which stays in place despite the wriggling.

  4. easter bergholz says:

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    • Rasputin says:

      Dear Easter Bergholz, what kind of a faux-wit name is that? Internet fraudsters who want to appear credible should adopt a name which might be genuine. Virtually no-one has the given name “Easter” unless they’re in Africa. Plus I would guess that “Bergholz” is a Jewish name (please correct me if I’m wrong in that) and no Jewish mummy or daddy will give the name “Easter” to their baby. Your use of English is very poor, so you’re an uneducated fraudster and not at all smart. Where’s your web address, dumbass? Internet fraudsters need to look at the better deals which the other fraudsters are offering on this blog. Some of the other guys are offering a rate of only 2%. If we were stupid enough to imagine you’re not a criminal, we would still use the other guys instead. Now faux off Easter Bunny, we don’t believe in you.

  5. TOREY SWANSON says:

    Hello am TOREY SWANSON, my business collapse 5 months ago, I had no hope of getting my business alive again.
    I was so broke that i had no property or credit card to get a loan, but someone introduced me to a man
    called WILLIAMS MARK.This man`s company was able to give me a loan of £50,000 without any property as
    collateral or credit card, but he gave it to me on trust. So my friends I said to myself why being selfish,
    so i decided to share this information with everyone. If you need a loan from a reliable loan lender do contact
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    • Rasputin says:

      Dear Torey Swanson, I don’t believe you. No professional lender would help you in that way because you’re a rotten craptep risk. If Williams Mark did business that way, he’d be broke like you within weeks. Also, I don’t believe you’re in the UK even though you describe the sum borrowed in pounds sterling. If you were British (as opposed to a lying rotten dirtbag scoundrel operating from a hive of internet conmen somewhere overseas) you’d know that “Williams” is a surname and would never precede a given or Christian name. Plus “Torey” is very unlikely to be used as a given name in the UK. It amazes me that you and the other lying thieving crooks who come on this blog don’t give up and faux off.

  6. Keith says:

    I think your husband is not the only one with cancer of the brain.

  7. Rasputin says:

    Don’t write cr*p like this. Nobody’s interested. Your twaddle is much too long, it’s not funny and it fails to mention the FSM. My advice: Keep it short, keep it funny and praise His Noodliness or shut the **** up.

  8. Keith says:

    That’s a good point about mentioning the FSM. This is a website devoted to his/her/its Noodliness and there seem to be few posts (mine included, I am sorry to say) that give due praise to the FSM.

  9. pastamon says:

    y r they allowed on yeeeee website

  10. The Sauceror says:

    Dear pastamon, it is tempting to ban these freaks from our show, but I have to confess that they create a great foil for my own occasional miss-spellings and grammatical errors.

  11. The Sauceror says:

    Fork these FSM-damn “404 errors”! Where is the FSM-damn prophet when you need him? Is anyone else experiencing these frustrations, or is it only a sauceror curse?

  12. The Sauceror says:

    Dear Keith, your comment was genius when placed in the right context at the right place (it made me laugh). However, a Pastafarian might have replaced the word “cancer” with the word “constipation”, or another humorous Pastafarian phrase, which would have made everyone laugh. I recognize that, from your unique sense of humor, this was not intended to be offensive at all. Please, don’t take this as a criticism, but merely as an observation.
    Your friend, and mine, The Sauceror.

  13. Keith says:

    I really have no idea where the post to which I responded is, so I can’t comment on what I wrote.

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