Kiva Team FSM has reached $2 Million in Loans

Published March 24th, 2014 by Bobby Henderson


Team FSM has reached $2 Million in loans on the micro-lending site Kiva. We’re now the top-lending religious congregation on Kiva, above the Buddhists, Catholics, Muslims, and — especially pleasing to me – above the Mormons, who we’ve been in a friendly competition with for years. Congratulations everyone!

suck it, mormons

What is Kiva? Kiva is a platform where you can make small loans to people in poor areas that need help starting small business. We make small, interest-free loans towards the projects we support, and Kiva combines them to fund the loan to the person who wants to build a small workshop, farm, restaurant, fruit stand, etc. These are interest-fee loans in places like Cambodia, Peru, Uganda — places where traditional bank lending to the poor is unavailable (or predatory). Kiva ensures that the loans are paid out and that the money is paid back. A lot of us feel this is the best way of bringing economic growth to the poorest areas.

I’ve had a good experience with Kiva and I encourage anyone interested to check it out. And please join our amazing team and help us continue to trounce the mainstream religion teams.

1,476 Responses to “Kiva Team FSM has reached $2 Million in Loans”

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  1. Paula Hall says:

    My names are Paula Hall. I am a single parent when i was seeking for a loan i was scam several time before i meet a friend who directed me to Jorge Dan Loan Company. initially i was afraid to go into the operation but my friend advise me to apply that she also obtain a loan from the company when she needed an urgent loan for business and clearing of debts. Then i toke the challenge which actually lend me a loan of $30,000) after paying the fees they asked for. Since then i have decided to publish them all over for those who need a loan, I have been scammed till i meet this company who save me out of debt my story has changed. you can contact them via ([email protected]) or call +2348036544184,,,

  2. WAGNER JAMES says:

    This is to inform the general public that Mr Wagner, a private loan lender has open up a financial opportunity for everyone in need of any financial help. We give out loan at 2% interest rate to individuals, firms and companies under a clear and understandable terms and condition. contact us today by e-mail at: ([email protected])

  3. Saint Gnocchi says:

    Dear Wagner James, This is to inform you that we know you are a frauding, lying, filthy, rotten, stinking, disgusting LOAN FRAUD HOAXSTER. Our borched mesoms know your GPS coordinates and your chances of seeing tomorrow are zilch.

    • Rasputin says:

      Dear Wa**er James, I would like to inform the general public that you are a criminal fraudster. Plus everything St. G says is true as well.

  4. Jelena Klusa says:

    BEWARE: Do not use most of all these Private Money Lender here, there are not genuine and trustworthy mostly if they have a free email account i.e. yahoo, gmail, hotmail, live etc, that should arose your suspicion and be very cautious. If they have telephone number with international dialing codes from Nigeria (Africa ) & India then you have to beware. A genuine lender would have a legitimate website, personalized email address/account from their website and not a free email account. I would recommend anyone looking for a trusted/relaible loan lender to visit: CHESHIRE LOAN COMPANY LTD BASED IN THE UK & USA and their credibility/reputation speaks for them far more in the industry than other lenders whom put up advertisement here just to lure genuine loan seekers out of their hard earned money. Contact CHESHIRE LOAN COMPANY LTD for all kinds of Business & Personal Loan, Mortgage Loans, Debt Consolidation and Real Estate Loans. Their Website: http://www.cheshireloancompany.com or Email: [email protected] Skype Id: cheshireloan.company

    • Saint Gnocchi says:

      Dear Jalena Klusa, I think your addled brain is not the only one here with clubfoot of the mouth.

  5. Sayed Madad Ali Shah says:

    I have Needed Personal Loan For Establish my Fresh Business and Child Education, I have Needed Loan $ 200000.00USD

    • The Sauceror says:

      Perhaps your Fresh Business needs some assistance in speaking basic English.

      • Rasputin says:

        Dear Sayed, please change your name to something more Pastafarian, such as “Blackbeard Morgan Hook”. Then contact some of the lenders who visit this site.

        • Captain Hook says:

          Need more pirates in this world.

  6. mikel says:

    we offer loan at 3.9% if interested contact us
    Email:[email protected]

    • Captain Hook says:

      But I want 3.8%

      • Rasputin says:

        Dear Cap’n, ha ha ha! This site is brilliant at making me laugh.

  7. Г-н Джон Eaxther says:

    Do you need an urgent loan or xmas ? we offer worldwide loan to interested borrowers who in need of the business opportunity loan at 2% rate. apply now and email us now at: Email [email protected]

    1) Full Name:
    2) Gender:
    3) Loan Amount Needed:.
    4) Loan Duration:
    5) Country:
    6) Home Address:
    7) Mobile Number:
    8)Monthly Income:
    )Have you apply before?.

    Best Regards.

    Mr Eaxther John

    • Keith says:

      If you are offering an urgent loan or xmas, I’d take xmas over the loan on the understanding that your offer is not simply due to sloppy sentence construction.

      • The Sauceror says:

        I prefer FSM-mas, but I don’t see how the gender of my borched mesom is relevant.

        • Rasputin says:

          Spending Xmas a loan is sad.

  8. Keith says:

    I think your husband is not the only one with cancer of the brain.

  9. Rasputin says:

    Don’t write cr*p like this. Nobody’s interested. Your twaddle is much too long, it’s not funny and it fails to mention the FSM. My advice: Keep it short, keep it funny and praise His Noodliness or shut the **** up.

  10. Keith says:

    That’s a good point about mentioning the FSM. This is a website devoted to his/her/its Noodliness and there seem to be few posts (mine included, I am sorry to say) that give due praise to the FSM.

  11. Captain Hook says:


  12. pastamon says:

    y r they allowed on yeeeee website

  13. The Sauceror says:

    Dear pastamon, it is tempting to ban these freaks from our show, but I have to confess that they create a great foil for my own occasional miss-spellings and grammatical errors.

  14. Captain Hook says:

    We can’t kick these people out. If we kick them out we can’t talk s**t.

  15. The Sauceror says:

    Fork these FSM-damn “404 errors”! Where is the FSM-damn prophet when you need him? Is anyone else experiencing these frustrations, or is it only a sauceror curse?

  16. The Sauceror says:

    Dear Keith, your comment was genius when placed in the right context at the right place (it made me laugh). However, a Pastafarian might have replaced the word “cancer” with the word “constipation”, or another humorous Pastafarian phrase, which would have made everyone laugh. I recognize that, from your unique sense of humor, this was not intended to be offensive at all. Please, don’t take this as a criticism, but merely as an observation.
    Your friend, and mine, The Sauceror.

  17. Apprentice Frederic says:

    Keith, I think your comment applies to Mrs. (?) Ann as well…,

  18. Rasputin says:

    Dear Keith, I didn’t actually speak with the borched mesom. The discussion was more of a one-sided rant. Think of William Shatner’s rendition of “Common People” (find it on YouTube) but with high-pitched shrieking, belching and frightening growls.

  19. Keith says:

    I really have no idea where the post to which I responded is, so I can’t comment on what I wrote.

  20. Rasputin says:

    Kelvin, I’ve already told you: Make a porno movie of yourself getting fauxed by bill. Then post it on a web site where we can see it. Otherwise faux off.

  21. The Sauceror says:

    Some kelvins just don’t get the message. Maybe his brain is set at 0 degrees kelvin. That’s ok, my borched mesom likes an occasional cold snack.

  22. Dr Mark says:


       My name is Caroline Peoples i am located in USA. i will like to publish the hand work of God to the general public. God has been very grateful to me and my family. 5months ago i was seriously searching for a loan worth 90,000usd to buy a house in the USA. And i was scammed by various lenders online, but 2weeks ago i was directed to a lender online by a friend and the name of the lender is Mr Adams. I will advice any one interested in a  real loan should contact the man of God for a loan via[ [email protected]]for any amount of loan.

    Caroline Peoples

  23. Captain Hook says:

    We can’t kick these people out. If we kick them out we can’t talk s**t.

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