Kiva Team FSM has reached $2 Million in Loans

Published March 24th, 2014 by Bobby Henderson


Team FSM has reached $2 Million in loans on the micro-lending site Kiva. We’re now the top-lending religious congregation on Kiva, above the Buddhists, Catholics, Muslims, and — especially pleasing to me – above the Mormons, who we’ve been in a friendly competition with for years. Congratulations everyone!

suck it, mormons

What is Kiva? Kiva is a platform where you can make small loans to people in poor areas that need help starting small business. We make small, interest-free loans towards the projects we support, and Kiva combines them to fund the loan to the person who wants to build a small workshop, farm, restaurant, fruit stand, etc. These are interest-fee loans in places like Cambodia, Peru, Uganda — places where traditional bank lending to the poor is unavailable (or predatory). Kiva ensures that the loans are paid out and that the money is paid back. A lot of us feel this is the best way of bringing economic growth to the poorest areas.

I’ve had a good experience with Kiva and I encourage anyone interested to check it out. And please join our amazing team and help us continue to trounce the mainstream religion teams.

1,421 Responses to “Kiva Team FSM has reached $2 Million in Loans”

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  1. Mr Bruce Henka says:

    I am a direct mandate to a reliable provider who specialized in Bank
    Guarantee {BG}, Standby Letter of Credit {SBLC}, Medium Term Notes {MTN},
    CASH LOAN. our instruments are issued from AAA Rated bank such as HSBC and
    Barclay’s Bank London. We also have a trusted and reliable receiver for
    DTC/S2S deal. if interested please contact NAME: Bruce Henka ,
    Email:([email protected]),

    • Rasputin says:

      Dear Bruce Henka, you are a fraudulent lying scumbag. Your English literacy is mediocre. F*ck off.

  2. mr ababuka says:

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    unabhängig von Standort oder
    Kreditstatus. Für Anfragen Kontakt. Mr.
    Larry Anthony E-Mail:
    [email protected]
    Erbrachten Leistung auch beinhaltet: *
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    Vielen Dank für Ihre Zeit, um unsere
    Anzeige zu sehen und erkunden Sie aus
    dieser wunderbare Gelegenheit. Mr.
    Abibaka Anthony E-Mail: [email protected]

    • Rasputin says:

      Dear Ababuka, sie sind ein hasslich spinne mit ein klein schvantz. Boompsen sie.
      Warum ist sein name “Ababuka” und ALSO “Abibaka”?
      Dumkopf! Schweinhund! FSM in himmel!

  3. Felix Cebase says:

    FAST CLOSE DEAL FOR ANY TYPE OF LOAN APPLY TODAY !!Felix cuebas is a sincere and certified private money lender approved by the Government, I give outinternational and local loans to all countries in the world,Amount given out $2,500 t $100,000,000 Dollars, Euro and Pounds.We offer loans with a dependable guarantee to all of our clients. Our loan interest rates are very low and affordable with a negotiable duration.Available now MORTGAGE, PERSONAL, TRAVEL, STUDENT, EXPANSION OF BUSINESS CONSOLIDATE Apply for a loan today with your loan amount and duration, Its Easy and fast to get. 4% interest rates and monthly installment payments. contact below email address for guidelines and instruction [email protected]

    we will always be at your service.
    Mr.Felix cuebas
    Hours: Open.10:00 am – 6:00 pm

    • Rasputin says:

      Dear Felix Debased, f*ck you sideways with a melon.

  4. mr. fredrick says:

    We offer the following loans below,
    personal loans[secure and unsecured]
    business loans[secure and unsecured]
    combination loans
    students loans
    consolidation loans and so many others.
    1. Full Names:……………………….
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    3. Loan Amount Needed:………………..
    4. Duration of the Loan……………….
    5. Direct Telephone Number:……………..
    Email: [email protected]
    Best Regards,
    Mr. Fredrick

    • Cap'n Bucatini says:

      Why isn’t anyone taking care of these spammers? It’s getting a little out of hand, if you ask me. Who is in charge here anyway?

    • Rasputin says:

      Dear Mr. Fredrick, you can borrow Felix’s melon when he’s finished with it.

      • Rasputin says:

        Dear Pirate Cap’n, please join in with your ideas about cruel and unusual punishments for spammers.Also, have you looked at the “jim’llpaintit” site and developed any thoughts about a suitable picture?

  5. Keith says:

    I think your husband is not the only one with cancer of the brain.

  6. Rasputin says:

    Don’t write cr*p like this. Nobody’s interested. Your twaddle is much too long, it’s not funny and it fails to mention the FSM. My advice: Keep it short, keep it funny and praise His Noodliness or shut the **** up.

  7. Keith says:

    That’s a good point about mentioning the FSM. This is a website devoted to his/her/its Noodliness and there seem to be few posts (mine included, I am sorry to say) that give due praise to the FSM.

  8. Captain Hook says:


  9. pastamon says:

    y r they allowed on yeeeee website

  10. The Sauceror says:

    Dear pastamon, it is tempting to ban these freaks from our show, but I have to confess that they create a great foil for my own occasional miss-spellings and grammatical errors.

  11. The Sauceror says:

    Fork these FSM-damn “404 errors”! Where is the FSM-damn prophet when you need him? Is anyone else experiencing these frustrations, or is it only a sauceror curse?

  12. The Sauceror says:

    Dear Keith, your comment was genius when placed in the right context at the right place (it made me laugh). However, a Pastafarian might have replaced the word “cancer” with the word “constipation”, or another humorous Pastafarian phrase, which would have made everyone laugh. I recognize that, from your unique sense of humor, this was not intended to be offensive at all. Please, don’t take this as a criticism, but merely as an observation.
    Your friend, and mine, The Sauceror.

  13. Apprentice Frederic says:

    Keith, I think your comment applies to Mrs. (?) Ann as well…,

  14. Rasputin says:

    Dear Keith, I didn’t actually speak with the borched mesom. The discussion was more of a one-sided rant. Think of William Shatner’s rendition of “Common People” (find it on YouTube) but with high-pitched shrieking, belching and frightening growls.

  15. Keith says:

    I really have no idea where the post to which I responded is, so I can’t comment on what I wrote.

  16. Rasputin says:

    Kelvin, I’ve already told you: Make a porno movie of yourself getting fauxed by bill. Then post it on a web site where we can see it. Otherwise faux off.

  17. The Sauceror says:

    Some kelvins just don’t get the message. Maybe his brain is set at 0 degrees kelvin. That’s ok, my borched mesom likes an occasional cold snack.

  18. Dr Mark says:


       My name is Caroline Peoples i am located in USA. i will like to publish the hand work of God to the general public. God has been very grateful to me and my family. 5months ago i was seriously searching for a loan worth 90,000usd to buy a house in the USA. And i was scammed by various lenders online, but 2weeks ago i was directed to a lender online by a friend and the name of the lender is Mr Adams. I will advice any one interested in a  real loan should contact the man of God for a loan via[ [email protected]]for any amount of loan.

    Caroline Peoples

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