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Pastafarian minister sworn into office

Published January 6th, 2014 by Bobby Henderson

sworn-in

Encouraging news, reported by The Observer out of Dunkirk, New York:

A unique style of headwear was present during newly-seated Pomfret Town Council member Christopher Schaeffer’s oath of office Thursday afternoon, but it wasn’t intended to keep his head warm.

Schaeffer wore a colander (a strainer typically used to drain water from spaghetti) while Town Clerk Allison Dispense administered the oath of office to him before the board’s reorganizational meeting. When the OBSERVER asked afterward why he wore a colander on his head, Schaeffer said he was a minister with an even more unique organization – the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

This may be the first openly Pastafarian sworn into office. For sure, the first to be sworn in wearing a colander.

I imagine Council member Schaeffer is getting a lot of heat because of the news coverage. Some people will see it as obnoxious or a sign that he’s not taking the oath of office seriously. But I am completely confident that Schaeffer will distinguish himself as a Council member of the highest caliber.

Scaeffer’s statement at the end of the article says it all:

“Mostly, I’m just looking forward to making sure that the town is run smoothly and we meet the needs of all of our citizens,” he said. “If anybody ever has any concerns or questions, I hope they contact me, because I want to make sure that everyone is represented.”

You can read the article here at the Observer.



131 Responses to “Pastafarian minister sworn into office”

  1. threonin says:

    well, Austria is one step ahead, we already have a pastafarian in parliament, the famous Nimo Alm! Sadly he wasn’t wearing his colander to his induction.

  2. Jaakko Oksa says:

    Greetings from Finland. I’m not adept in your theology, but wasn’t the costume supposed to be a full pirate outfit rather than a colander on the head (please don’t stone me as a heretic if I’m totally mistaken)?

    • Rev. Wulff says:

      The pirate regalia is supposed to be worn by those who spread the word of His Noodliness. The colander has been adopted as a show of respect by many of the faithful, but its use is not mandated.

      Also, we don’t stone anyone here. The worst punishment we inflict is a flogging with a cooked noodle, or to have to go back and read all of Big Guy’s postings in a single sitting.

      • Jaakko Oksa says:

        Dear Reverend, thank you for your answer! It clarified the matter for me, and I appreciate knowing it is authoritative because I obtained it from an actual reverend!

      • SillyKiwiMan says:

        No! Anything than the Gib Yug! Ours is a faith of peace (just like the rest of ‘em)!

        • SillyKiwiMan says:

          Anything *other* than the Gib Yub I mean. Bloody hell, haven’t even enjoyed a libation… yet.

        • Rev. Wulff says:

          Sorry, Kiwi. I do feel it’s an appropriate punishment for true evil, like rapists, or people who talk on their cell phones in a movie theater.

        • Atsap Revol says:

          Reading all of BIG GUY’s posts would be cruel and unusual punishment. That freak’s first name was actually Guy. He lives on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls. But let us not invoke his name or linger on his idiotic posts. He got hia ass permanently booted off this site, but only after we had suffered his endless hell and damnation messages. We are very tolerant of ideas and discussion up to a point. But there are limits. Gib Yug exceeded them.

        • The Reverend Toni Rigatoni says:

          I have to agree with you on both pionts Atsap, BG’s name should never be mentioned again, saying the words feels to me almost like an incantation used to raise a demon or some such, it makes my blood run cold. Additionally, your statement that being forced to read his posts is a cruel punishment is beyond argument, it’s my bet that Yahweh is kicking himself now that he had to make do with the relatively cushy punishment of eternal damnation rather than the indescribably horrific alternative that is BG’s posts.

          Sauce be with you

          The Reverend

      • Apprentice Frederic says:

        Most Rev. Revs & Atsap,
        Having read your posts, I have to agree that you’re right. I was going earlier to propose a series of badges (The Order of you-know-who), starting with tin stars for “sneering needs work” and “hackneyed threats” and rising thru bronze, silver, gold, platinum, and, finally, depleted uranium encrusted with emeralds for “pretty close”….but I take it back, memorializing YKW would be terrible juju.

        • Keith says:

          It’s an amusing and a very good idea, Frederic. How would you determine the standards required for each bagde? Awards could be made at the end of the week. I know of other sites that do the same thing. Just get people to vote in their preferences.

        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          Keith, thanks for your interested response! Atsap and the Reverends of the Cloth (that would be a checkered tablecloth) have raised valid objections to the glorification of whatsisname, though. Maybe it would be best to reverse the scale and give high marks to rational and respectful posts??? Weekly awards might also get to be a little flat in any case, and perhaps yearly awards (we could compete with the Oscars and have FSM statuettes) established by votes as you suggest would be appropriate.

        • Keith says:

          I think yearly awards would be difficult as people come and go on this site. It would be difficult to keep track of who says what.

        • TheFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

          I like this idea, and would offload the most outrageous post for safe-keeping. So at least we could (dis)honor a single post, if not the poster.

        • Keith says:

          Uploading the post sounds good. That would mean that the most outrageous/ intelligent post could be compared side by side with its contender.

        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          That’ll be fun! Probably an easy way to spread the word would be to “nominate” *really* good/bad posts on the spot for others to see.

  3. Erwin Neutzsky-Wulff says:

    I must admit to a certain amo­unt of skep­ti­cism, when I first heard about your church – after all, there are a lot of cra­ck­pot reli­gions out there! But then I began to read your pamp­hlet, and a strange fee­ling came over me that this was what I had been look­ing for all my life!

    I think per­haps that it was the sud­den rea­liza­tion that howe­ver unworthy I may be, the Flying Spa­ghetti Mon­ster loves me! At the same time a lot of things became clear to me.

    All the intri­cate wor­kings of the uni­verse and my place in it – it sud­denly made sense! And I remem­be­red somet­hing that Ein­stein once said, even though I can’t remem­ber exa­ctly what it was.

    But then I came to the part where you say that you’re oppo­sed to dogma. How can you have a reli­gion wit­hout dogma?

    How can you be right, if others aren’t wrong, or a good per­son, if others aren’t bad? I’ve always con­si­de­red myself a good, loving person.

    I really hate bad people! Don’t you?

    To think that you can be so obsti­na­tely wicked that you reject the Flying Spa­ghetti Mon­ster Our Savior. Such people have for­fei­ted the right to the life that He gave them, if you ask me.

    I fully agree with you that we should try to be tole­rant. But these people aren’t tolerant!

    When I tell them about the Flying Spa­ghetti Mon­ster and the deep fee­lings I have for Him, they just laugh. Don’t you think that we should respect other people’s feelings?

    These people are evil. They tell me that there’s no proof that the Flying Spa­ghetti Mon­ster even exists.

    But nor is there any proof that He doesn’t, is there? That always shuts them up!

    I would like my chil­dren to learn about the Flying Spa­ghetti Mon­ster in school so that they may form their own opi­nion. Is that really too much to ask?

    It’s all well and good to be tole­rant, but just look what all that tole­rance has led to! Do you really think there would be so much crime and drug abuse, if chil­dren had been taught about the Flying Spa­ghetti Mon­ster at an early age?

    And then it sud­denly struck me. Are these people really serious about their faith?

    Or have they been sedu­ced by the Gro­un­ded Spa­ghetti Mon­ster? Funny, I don’t think you even men­tio­ned him.

    Haven’t you rea­lized what is going to hap­pen to you, if your belief in the Flying Spa­ghetti Mon­ster isn’t strong enough? Have you ever had cold spaghetti?

    Well, what do you think it will be like to spend eter­nity in an enor­mous bowl of the slimy stuff? Maybe you should think about that before it’s too late!

    But then again, maybe it’s alre­ady too late for you. I really thought a lot about this, and in the end I asked the Flying Spa­ghetti Mon­ster for guidance.

    And lo, the hea­vens ope­ned like a bottle of ket­chup, and a voice came to me, saying: “Fear not, my son, for thou hast been cho­sen to found Ye True Church of Ye Flying Spa­ghetti Mon­ster!” And so I did, and my first offi­cial act will be to excom­mu­ni­cate all you nonbelievers.

    Just look at that logo of yours! Don’t you know that the Flying Spa­ghetti Mon­ster has expres­sly for­bid­den “any gra­ven image or logo” of his inef­fable majesty?

    Bla­sp­he­mers! Cur­sed and hacked be your com­pu­ter site and all the blogs thereon!

    Sig­ned Erwin Neutzsky-Wulff,

    Holy Fat­her of the True Church of the Flying Spa­ghetti Monster,

    Den­mark

    Please note: If you should wish to repent, there is a small entrance fee of 300 dol­lars to cover pos­tage and handling.

    • Rev. Wulff says:

      I would like to enter for the record that I am in no way associated with the above poster, and any similarities between my name and theirs is wholly circumstantial.

      • Apprentice Frederic says:

        Rev. Wulff, I Googled “Neutzsky” and uncovered a string of illustrious Danes, including an author/philosopher with the name signed above. Perhaps you did the same? The post seemed pretty good for an imposter, don’t you think?

  4. Erwin Neutzsky-Wulff says:

    I confess. I’m the “illustrious” Erwin Neutzsky-Wulff.

    The post was just my way of telling you that you’re doing one hell (no pun intended) of a job. Keep up the good work!

  5. Rev.Pastioli says:

    HE said: ” Forgive them; they don’t know who they are boiling”

  6. Michael says:

    Wait this is a serious religion. I thought it was just a really big troll doing all this :)

    • Pete Byrdie says:

      Is a really big troll the same as an ogre?

      • Keith says:

        No. When trolls see the light they turn to stone or fall to pieces. Ogres just remain thick headed and carry on what they are doing.

  7. Erwin Neutzsky-Wulff says:

    Scientists have recently discovered that everything in the universe is composed of thin strings (“spaghetti” in Italian). Now I ask you: Would anyone but a flying spaghetti monster have created the world like this? String Theory PROVES that we were right all along!

  8. Erwin Neutzsky-Wulff says:

    Will the persecution of our church never stop? I just heard of some ignorant people making fun of our religion by comparing it to some crazy made-up sect, where people gather every Sunday, eating bread and drinking wine, believing it to be the flesh and blood of someone, who died 2,000 years ago.

    Is that really what they think of us? That we’re crazy?

    Or maybe they just think that it’s fun to ridicule other people’s beliefs! I must tell you, I really don’t get these guys – is nothing sacred to them?

    • Atsap Revol says:

      Yes, Erwin, another sect believes that their founder dug up some golden plates in upstate New York. The plates contained a history of North America set down in a cryptic language. When the plates were translated, with the aid of a couple of rocks, a book waa compiled that forms the basis for this sect’s religion.

      This sect shuns our Pastafarian Church because we believe that in paradise we will enjoy a beer volcano. Their church forbids the consumption of even Coca Cola, and members wear sacred undergarments instead of pirate garb.

      There’s no accounting for the prejudices of other religions. Can’t we all just be friends?

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