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E. Coli resembles the FSM — coincidence?

Published October 3rd, 2012 by Bobby Henderson

e-coli

The attached photo is of a small, hand-held, plush creature meant to represent the bacterium E. Coli. I obtained this little guy at a science fair in Corvallis Oregon. I believe the creature looks a lot like Him and I think that the fact that it was obtained at a science fair is no small coincidence…

Dr. Audrey



91 Responses to “E. Coli resembles the FSM — coincidence?”

  1. Douglas Goodall says:

    No one actually knows exactly what the LORD our GOD looks like. Over time he has been represented as a lion with a face, or sometimes a burning bush. The question that matters isn’t really what he looks like, but rather the fact that he sent his son to die on the cross in order to provide a path to our salvation. There is a matter of us being created in HIS image. No where in the bible does it actually say that Adam and Eve were bipeds and looked anything like humans do today, just that Adam had a rib. It is very possible that we were created looking a lot like a handful of pasta (with a rib) and that we did evolve into bipeds.

    I doubt that you actually believe in the FSM, but rather do not accept the tenets of Christianity or are actually just don’t believe in GOD, but rather than facing the possible outcome of denying the Christ have decided to profess a humorous belief in the FSM. Some who aren’t sure of what to believe have chosen the Ceiling Cat instead.

    Characterizing my LORD as a “neurotic, insecure sadist in a dressing gown…” is un-called for. In fact your entire posting consist of name calling and is nether funny or likely to promote further philosophical thought.

    • Keith says:

      Fine: give me your SINGLE BEST PROOF that your god exists.

      • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

        Part B: If you can become the first person in HISTORY to prove the existence of god, here comes the hard part: Prove that Christianity is anywhere near what he/she/it wants us to believe in.

    • Atsap Revol says:

      Dear Doug: We regret that you find our postings are nether (sic) funny or likely to promote philosophical thought. Your post reeks of tongue-in-cheek criticism of our beloved FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER. Our LORD, of course, doesn’t have ribs, so your entire conjecture fails as a possible description of GOD. Clearly, the first man created by our DEAR LORD was a biped, though one of short stature.

      You must more carefully capitalize the pronouns for your deity. It’s not acceptable to write that he (lower case) sent his (lower case) son to die on the cross…etc. Probably “Son” also should be capitalized. If you are a Christian you are better than average at spelling and punctuation. Just try to be more humorous, even though good rants are always welcome here.

      Atsap Revol, Pastafarian Parliamentarian

    • SillyKiwiMan says:

      Doug,

      Feel free to blow it out your arse. Don’t like it? Don’t read it.

    • KCDoodle says:

      I have sighted FSM!

      http://www.csmonitor.com/Science/2014/0213/Why-don-t-you-look-more-like-a-hagfish-Scientists-offer-clues

      The Hag Fish brain scan image looks suspiciously like FSM.

      I believe this is just one more clue left for the true followers.

      All hail the FSM!

      • Anissa says:

        Crap it does!

    • devils right hand man says:

      Your obviously someone who grew up christian I did to. My dad was the organist at the church and fucked every nasty bitch in that church except his wife. He also had numerous sex offender friends. He dropped me and my brother weekly at there houses. That’s the only dick I ever sucked. I hope your still reading dumb ass hole. So the point is all these people are going to what u ass clowns consider to be heaven. My extreamly christian dad told me years ago I didn’t have to suck that guys dick. That was the last word he ever spoke to me. I will not subject myself to morons and if thats who your moronic god let’s in heaven I will be fucking elated to burn in hell. So in closing all of the people I mentioned are still on their way to heaven. Well u can go with them and you can suck dick and get fucked in your ass hole for eternity. Also your religion has been the root of nearly every war ever fought. Your fuckin dumb

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        A well earned title DRHM: they believe they go to Heaven because they believe they sent you to Hell. Seems sort of parasitical to me.

  2. bowling pins craft projects says:

    I always emailed this weblog post page to all my contacts, since if like to read it afterward my friends will too.

  3. Evan Bergo says:

    hello I think that the resemblance is only a coincidence because the fsm would never do anything evil like infect people with illnesses. Praise the pasta!

  4. Darwin says:

    A fellow teacher told me about FSM. Funny stuff. Obviously created as a parody of faith by someone who does not quite grasp the finer nuances of it, but it’s still humorous.
    Plenty of bad stuff has also been done in the cause of increasing scientific knowledge (see history of Germany, the Nazi years, for example). That’s not enough to make me desert my confidence in science. Neither do rotten Christians make me want to abandon faith in Jesus Christ.
    There is no proof of God, only evidence. The spiritual realm may in fact lie beyond the ability of scientific means of observation. So does all evolution which might have occurred millions of years ago. There is evidence, but no proof.
    For me the complexity of DNA replication and protein synthesis make a compelling case against a godless universe. Each is necessary for the other, and without either there is no life as we know it. I simply cannot believe they occurred randomly AND simultaneously. Of course, that only postpones the conundrum of the uncaused cause, but I’ll settle for a little mystery in my faith. But I also applaud scientific efforts to probe mystery with truly open minds.
    And yes, Darwin is my real name. What’s more I teach science and I’m an ordained minister. Freaky, no?

    • SillyKiwiMan says:

      Darwin,

      You’re being patronising.

      We come to this church precisely BECAUSE we grasp the finer nuances of faith.

      Yes, bad things have been done in the name of science. Frankly, Mengele’s experiments were bad science. The unfortunate truth is that there were things to be learnt from what he did, but not all that much. Proper experiments would have yielded far more data. Like fanatics of all flavours, Mengele used something to justify his own agenda. This does still happen in science, but all other things being equal, it’s a drop in the ocean compared to the twisting of religion.

      On another note, there is no evidence of your god. Your bible is not evidence. The wonderful things that are all around us are not evidence. A funny feeling you get is not evidence. Something being too difficult for you to grasp is not evidence. Not knowing how something happens is not evidence. Keep your mystery, I don’t need it.

      Yarrgh

      • Darwin says:

        Last time I looked 135,000 does not equal millions. It’s an evolutionary blink of an eye, hardly enough to call evolution at all. And if you think about it, tracing all humans back to a single ancestor might actually favor a creationist understanding of humankind’s origins. Way to kick one into your own goal!
        Here’s a link you might find of interest: http://www.jodkowski.pl/nr/OGingerich.html
        I don’t teach religion in the classroom, and your kids might have done quite well had I taught them science. Many of my former students have done quite well in college and beyond. Nevertheless, I’m probably just as glad I didn’t have to deal with a parent like you.
        And while you’re busy asking about fossils I never claimed exist, have you come up with an answer to the conundrum I posed?

        • Darwin says:

          Sorry this one was supposed to go to theFewtheProudtheMarinara.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Christianity was invented in response to a political situation that offended some people, and, it remains a form of interpersonal politics. Do you suggest that a million lemmings can’t be wrong?
          Conundrums are human artefacts; paradoxes expose defective paradigms. Notions of ‘uncaused causes’ are a perfect example. Things come from nothing (0 = -1 +1), need no cause and will return to nothing. When nothing exists, there is neither space nor time. Perhaps, you have a doctorate in astrophysics?
          You may need to remain astonished about DNA without joining the dots to suit your agenda. Suggesting pure chance for the all-at-once origin of DNA means that you have not understood the way that things build upon previous, small chance events. A monkey CAN type the complete works of Shakespeare, in a remarkably short time, provided any correct letters and words are retained.
          Half of our genes are shared with plants yet, no one suggests our evolving from plants. Sharing common ancestors, which is quite different, unites all life on Earth.
          Not wanting Creationism taught in science class is sound and required by law in public schools. What type of parent am I? You are fortunate that I am not a parent of a child you teach, as I would provide the Principal with such a prejudiced comment.

        • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

          You are right – 135,000 years doesn’t sound like much, however: 1. It blows the Young Earth theory to bits, like all other science already does, and 2. Sometimes evolution happens more quickly. Did you know that in the little more than a century since the subway tunnels under London were excavated that insects in differing lines have become different species? I would also wager that the finches Darwin saw in the Galapagos islands took less than 135,000 years to differentiate.

        • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

          My children have done well, thank you. Both educated, and the youngest has a master’s degree.
          It always amazes me to hear creationists claiming the complexity of life (or protein, even) demands a creator. OK, by that logic god – being extremely complex – demands an even MORE advanced intelligence to create him, and so on, and so on. As I said before – random matter, impossible. Perfect, eternal being – obvious? When examining a complex question (and I’ll grant yours are), start with the simplest answer. To me, the simple answer isn’t magic, it’s billions of years and trillions of trials until the one with the best chance of survival and replication occured.

        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          Several folks – including you, tFtPtM, I’m sure – have brought up the point that evolution IS observable on a far faster timescale than many folks think, and I think that – again – the case of the finches in Galapagos was mentioned also. Darwin (the one posting here) might enjoy and be interested in “The Beak of the Finch”, a book that beautifully chronicles very recent work in the Galapagos that demonstrates evolution on the timescale of a few years.

        • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

          As it turns out, AF, the “junk” on our chromosomes that aren’t genes contain a number of switches that control how and when the genes fire. It was found that activating a certain gene ONE DAY earlier in the fetus’s development meant the difference between a stubby, strong beak for cracking nuts and the slender, longer beak in the finches Darwin saw.

          The drug thalidomide caused horrible birth defects by rearranging the timing of these switches; hands and feet became flippers. It just goes to show how a tiny change can cause profound changes in a short time. Darwin probably only had a rudimentary knowledge of genetics because of his era, but scientific advances over the last century of so have only confirmed his thesis.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          May I also add the essential usefulness of a random ‘signal’, like the white noise from neurones. Once considered useless (junk), it actually signals ‘all’s well’ and is used as syntax.
          About half of our DNA is fragments of viruses, ‘fossils’, that reveal the long history of our ancestors’ infections.

        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          Thanks, tFtPtM & Cap’n – interesting!

      • Darwin says:

        FSM was created as a response to a social/political situation that offended some people (and I won’t disagree with the validity of that offense). It was, I think circumstances would clearly indicate, initiated by humans. One of the conditions of most religions is that the founders believe they were somehow touched by something greater than themselves and other than themselves. I have serious doubts that FSM genuinely qualifies in that way. That does not mean none of their objectives and goals are not worth pursuing, but I think it places it somewhere other than the realm of genuine religion.
        Another aspect of many faiths, at least theistic faiths, is that the proponents would contend it is the object of faith that matters most, not the mere belief or even the fervency of belief. I can believe as much as I want that a piece of gravel will cure cancer if I wave it over a tumor. That doesn’t mean it will ever work, because the piece of gravel is simply not an object worthy of faith. It has no sentience, no power – it’s just a rock. Again, I seriously doubt whether most proponents of FSM truly believe in FSM’s literal existence. Thus, the object of your alleged faith is not worthy of faith. Has it ever done anything? If the wonderful things around us are not evidence of anything, then you can not claim that FSM has ever done anything.
        I notice that you have made no response to the conundrum I posed. I contend that the existence of life is evidence of a creator. The likelihood of proteins such as DNA helicase, polymerases, ligase, and others appearing simultaneously with DNA itself as a random event is just too astonishing to believe. There is mystery one way or the other, regardless of whether you want it. Close your eyes if you want. The mystery will still be there when you open them.
        http://www.jodkowski.pl/nr/OGingerich.html

        • SillyKiwiMan says:

          “The likelihood of proteins such as DNA helicase, polymerases, ligase, and others appearing simultaneously with DNA itself as a random event is just too astonishing to believe.”

          Too astonishing for YOU to believe. Again, your ignorance is not evidence.

          If you seriously doubt that most proponents of FSM truly believe in His literal existence, then with a little more thought, you might just get there. So far you’re not fighting a good corner.

          I’m glad you don’t teach religion in science classes. That’s really what our church boils down to. As long as you keep it that way, there need be no quarrel, unless you start one.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Darwin, ‘mystery’ is also a human artefact. I remain curious about your definition of ‘real’ religion. Of the approximately three and a half billion previous religions, which is/are the real ones? If another teacher taught that Odin created DNA or the Universe, you might object, not because you have any evidence to the contrary, but, because you have faith that they are wrong and you are right.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          SKM, I should have spotted it immediately, but, ALL of the biochemical reactions that Darwin alludes to, will occur WITHOUT any enzymes (any protein name ending -ase). Enzymes simply speed things up – a perfect scenario for their evolution.
          To me, the most interesting enzyme is telomerase.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          I think that our friend Darwin was trying to argue the disastrous, irreducible complexity argument proposed by Creationist Prof. Behe, who used the mousetrap as one of his examples.
          When Behe was being cross-examined, the lawyer, keeping a straight face, was using a partially-built mousetrap, with no latch components, as a tie clip. Another lawyer was using the same to hold a sheaf of paper together.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          AF, It seems quite possible that Darwin’s mates referred him to us to get some respite from staff-room evangelism. I would love to hear what he reported back to them. Perhaps, Darwin got more than he expected from a disorganised bunch of scurvy sea-dogs.
          Any more discoveries of treatments for scurvy?

        • SillyKiwiMan says:

          I think it entirely possible that Darwin isn’t actually a science teacher at all. I could go to god-botherer sites and claim to be a baptist minister, or a rabbi, or buddhist monk. Doesn’t make it true. Good way to stir us up, raise our collective hackles and give someone a good laugh at our expense.

          I also know from first-hand experience that good scientists can come from bad teachers. As has been said in the past, you can’t polish a turd and turn a dunce into an Einstein, but smart kids will normally remain smart despite the attempts of some teachers to sabotage their education (wilfully or not).

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          SKM, If, Darwin’s being a century out of date, with a-logical apologetics and his sanctimonious bigotry, are your main clues, I must agree. Perhaps he home-teaches ‘science’ using Conservapedia – which also makes me wonder about his ordination.
          I do believe he was referred though, and, it’s his moderate mates (or pupils) who get the best laugh.

        • Keith says:

          In reply to Captain Birdseye, Kenneth Miller, a Biologist , was the one wearing the mousetrap tie. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KY8iPJwztys

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Darwin, Christianity was created as a parody of religion by people who just couldn’t quite grasp the finer nuances of faith; such as abandoning genocide, bigotry, invasion, sexism, child abuse and wanton murder – and whatever other self-serving inventions they wish to validate.
      What evidence do you have of your god? What is this ‘spiritual realm’ that you claim knowledge of? Seems like an exclusive club to me.
      A minister who teaches science would only be ‘freaky’ if they attempted to combine both in a school class. I would remove my kid from your school if you taught that ‘God did it’, when attempting to explain genes and protein synthesis. Even suggesting that as an alternative hypothesis would be enough – unless you also taught that there was equal evidence for The FSM creating everything.
      By a sick twist, Mengele’s data is still used by rescuers to estimate survival times in freezing water.

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        Keith, well done for details. I had retained an image of the lawyers doing it in the film-length documentary. Don’t trust an eye-witness account.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Keith, but… wasn’t it a wonderful destruction of the argument. Of course each component, or combination of a mousetrap’s parts, has a myriad other uses. It would seem that immersion for too long in ID destroys one’s brain.

        • Keith says:

          Yes. It was a wonderful destruction of the argument. It was also wonderful to see the look on Behe’s face when they produced a huge stack of publications refuting his arguments. (Publications which, apparently, he had not read: or, has my memory constructed a situation which didn’t happen?)

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Keith, as a kid I used broken mousetraps as ballista for ink pellets – and would have had the urge to repeat it if I’d been in the Court’s audience.
          Without checking facts, I remember a stack of 50 peer-reviewed articles and several books being presented to Behe, which he dismissed as “insufficient”, implying that he had read them. Those articles included the injection spike of the plague bacterium, which he should have noticed, regarding the ‘irreducible’ flagellum motor. Also, no ‘intelligent designer’ of an eye would have put the blood vessels in front of the retina – or allowed a blind spot. Further, many tiny creatures have light-sensitive patches, a partial eye if you wish, that serve them very well.

        • Keith says:

          I have an electronic mouse trap. The circuitry that enables the thing to electrocute the mouse was not initially designed to kill mice: someone just had the idea of using existing technology for a different purpose.

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          Captain – a perfect Creator also would figure out how to give you enough cones and rods so that you would have excellent eyesight AND see in color. Which brings me to this question: If we are created in God’s image, why is it that we have such poor eyesight as compared to most other mammals? The answer is that we don’t need it – i.e. it was not evolutionary necessary or that advantageous.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Keith, need I say more about teleology and a comfortable fit? Shame I can’t embed it here.

          http://rationalwiki.org/w/images/4/4f/Banana.gif

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          tFtPtM, perhaps Michelangelo should have portrayed God wearing glasses?

        • Keith says:

          My eyesight is crap. I don’t have to refer to any god for the cause because I know how it got that way (no, it wasn’t from self abuse). At five years old I don’t imagine I would have committed enough sins to warrant that sort of punishment.

        • SillyKiwiMan says:

          Keith, I had glasses at 6 & it’s entirely possible that it was self inflicted. If we weren’t meant to masturbate (admittedly I may have been a tad enthusiastic) (and by “have been” I may mean “am”) then our hands wouldn’t dangle at such a tempting level.

        • Keith says:

          I didn’t get my specs until I was seven, due to being undiagnosed. At that time I had to walk around with a piece of plaster stuck to my right lens to try and force my left eye to work. It was murder and I’m not certain it did any good.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          SKM, I have fond memories of a girlfriend who liked to exchange said service every morning, and thus, we both retained perfect vision. I always thought it was her hands that dangled at the ‘temptation level’

        • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

          Captain Birdseye: You would think at his age Yahweh would need glasses, but since he sees all, they would have to be very complex. He’d have more eyes than a spider.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          TFTPTM, Glasses for pan-optical vision would indeed be very complex. Perhaps, like The FSM, YHWH has roving eyes requiring only a basic design of lens. Omnipresence would help, but, omniscience seems to solve the problem altogether. I wonder if a type of Viagra provides omnipotence?

        • Keith says:

          It was a mistranslation. The god of Abraham has omnipretence.

        • SillyKiwiMan says:

          Captain,

          I had one of those. Fond memories. Not of her, merely her appetite. She was stupid, fat and smelt bad, but it’s amazing what one can live with while “distracted”.

        • SillyKiwiMan says:

          Re: eyesight,

          If we’re created in god’s image, and our diseases are caused by sin, and masturbation causes blindness, and I had laser surgery, and now my vision is fine, did god work through the surgeon to cleanse me of sin?

          If so, it was a failure. I’m married. I have most of my sex with myself.

        • Captain Birdseed says:

          Yes, SKM, God worked through the surgeon’s hands, even providing the framework of science, to remove all sin from you. But, you no doubt immediately re-immersed yourself in the Kiwi fleshpots. Getting married was your second opportunity for salvation from Onan.

        • Captain Birdseed says:

          I would also like to credit the god of Abraham with the previously unrecognised super-power of omniosmia (all-smelling).

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      Wait – you teach science yet you say “all evolution which might have occurred millions of years ago lies beyond the ability of scientific means of observation”? WRONG. Just the other day I was reading that most men can be traced back to a single individual 135,000 years ago, and that non-Africans have a certain percentage of Neanderthal genes. How did they come to those conclusions? OBSERVATION. Yes, we have no video of a species giving birth to another as million years ago, but fossils and DNA can be observed. Hell, Darwin founded the principles of evolution exclusively through observation.

      On the other hand, where are fossils of god’s handiwork? Faith to me is intellectual laziness. Complexity should invite scrutiny – just don’t throw up your hands and say “god did it!”. If you seriously want to help children, start a day care, but with your view point I’m glad you didn’t teach my kids science.

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        My final contribution to this thread is a question. Aldous Huxley took a mega-dose of LSD on his death-bed, believing that it united him with his god. If an altered state is the ‘spiritual realm’ that Darwin referred to, will a mega-dose of beer bring me to the presence of The FSM?

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          Yes. By the next morning you will be on your knees, worshiping the Porcelain God.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          tFtPtM, I was half-expecting an heretical comment, such as: ‘Yes… If you’d had spaghetti and meatballs for dinner.’

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