The FSM Is Protecting Your Children

Published February 29th, 2012 by Bobby Henderson

Safety First

My wife and I returned from Target to apply our new child safety lock on our under-the-sink cabinet when i thought "Whoa Its the FSM!"

– Paul N, Kansas City, MO

34 Responses to “The FSM Is Protecting Your Children”

  1. Jake says:

    Oh my gosh- YOU ARE WORSHIPPING FOOD. THIS IS A PILE OF PASTA I EAT IT EVERY DAY! It taste good and I don’t pray to my food. You should be praying to God- he’s the TRUE one and I hope you all realize the big mistake your making by worshipping an idol.

    • SillyKiwiMan says:


      That’s more like it! A classic fundie imbecile incapable of reading the “about” tab. Oooooh what a naughty blasphemer I’ve been. Please condemn me to hell. Please please please please please! (just so you know though, condemning me to hell is like a hippy threatening to punch you in your aura)

      • Jake says:

        Why the heck do you look like you jumped out of a pirates of the carribean movie

        • Keith says:

          I guess that means you still haven’t read the “about” tab. It’s sad when someone feels they have to pound away on the keyboard for want of clicking a couple of buttons.

        • SillyKiwiMan says:

          My religious garb.

          Like the slack-jawed expression of stupidity you wear. It helps the world to recognise fundies & avoid/pity them.

    • SillyKiwiMan says:

      Besides, I find the worship of our deity much more palatable than yours. Pun very much intended.

  2. UhOhSpaghettiO says:

    Jake! Many religions worship food! What do think communion is? As Tom Robbins puts it, “Swallow the Leader.”

    • Keith says:

      I haven’t heard “Uh Oh Spaghettio” for years!

      • UhOhSpaghettiO says:

        I hadn’t either. Just read Tom Robbins’ “Still Life With Woodpecker.” After reading (almost) his entire collection, I’m convinced Robbins is either a true Pastafarian, or at the very least, a Pastafarian at heart.

        • UhOhSpaghettiO says:

          The phrase “Uh Oh, Spaghettio” is repeated frequently in that novel, by the way.

        • Keith says:

          I’d have to agree with you: it must be a mantra. All praise His Noodliness!

  3. UhOhSpaghettiO says:

    the phrase “Uh Oh, Spaghettio” is repeated frequently in that novel, by the way.

    • St. Arrrrgyle says:

      How ironic.

  4. Capt. Nemo says:

    I only now realize just how wrong and misled that I’ve been Capt. Nemo

  5. Capt. Nemo says:

    where is my free Gravatar? Can I down load my own

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