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147 Comments

Putting Spaghetti back in the Holidays

Published December 19th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

treetop

I posted my husband and I’s tree topper on my Facebook account. To my surprise, a devout and particularly humorless Christian liked it. Clearly, His Noodly Appendage touches those who don’t even seek it. May we all receive a generous helping of His slow cooked grace this ChriFSMas season.

Happy Holidays,
- Tiara



147 Responses to “Putting Spaghetti back in the Holidays”

  1. Grammar Cop says:

    “…my husband and I’s…”. Really? You actually typed that? You put less thought into that than religious people put into their beliefs. Shame on you.

    • Honestly? says:

      This was previously brought up and corrected in the comments. It would appear you put less thought into that possibility than you put into jumping on the opportunity to validate your sense of worth by grammar policing casual photo captions.

      • Grammar Cop says:

        I put no thought into that possibillity, because it is irrelevant. Just because someone brought it up and, “corrected” it (It remains in the photo caption, so it hasn’t been corrected.) doesn’t excuse the fact that it was typed in the first place. It’s not as if (Notice that it is “as if”, not “like”?) it was a typo or a misspelling or a puntuation error. Those things happen. “…my husband and I’s…” is just plain stupid or unbelievibly ignorant.

        Wow! That really does valudate my sence of worth. Please, respond again so I can reply, and feel even bettor.

        Oh, one more thing, I know you can’t wait to point out how stupid or ignorant I am because I misspeled (like that)those words and used punctuation incorrect! (incorrectly?) Admit it. You were. Weren’t you? Yes. You were. But I’s did it on purpose.

        • nun sequitur says:

          Grammar cop, i know what u r saying about the puntuation…u were just being retrocognitive:

          http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retrocognition

        • nun sequitur says:

          Is that what my pressing reply equals…validation of self worth? … that is just even more sad. THANKS, grammarcopulation ; /

    • nun sequitur says:

      HOLY irony, some1 called grammar cop is critiqing grammar…i called myself non sequitur, that was an ADMISSION, not ironic…

      • Grammar Cop says:

        In hindsight, I was being retrocognitive. I just didn’t realize until now. I’ll pay more attention to that in the future.

  2. holabalulu says:

    you guys do know your worshiping food right i mean how is food holy in anyway and how is he a ”god”
    am not saying that its wrong but i get how people worship budda and jesus and even the devil but how are you going to worship food come on is the world really doing that bad … that we have to turn our faith to a flying spaghetti monster ?? wow just wow ?? and remember am not trying to hurt anyone am just giving my honest opinion

    • Grammar Cop says:

      Swiss cheese is holy.

    • Keith says:

      Did you read the “about” page, holabalulu?

      • holabalulu says:

        IT’S FUCKING FOOOOOOOOOOOD !!!!!!

        YOU EAT IT NOT WORSHIP IT THERES PEOPLE STARVING AND YOUR WORSHIPING FOOD!!!!!!!

        • Keith says:

          Evidently you didn’t. That, or you are some ten year old who has just learned to swear and use the caps lock.

        • TiltedHorizon says:

          Dark chocolate is supposed to be an afrodisiac, oysters too, which means that its ‘fucking’ food, spaghetti is heavy, I always feel like a nap afterwards so it must be ‘napping’ food.

          As for worshiping food, WRONG, it’s a Spaghetti MONSTER, and anyone who eats his likeness will never go hungry.

        • LoL says:

          You really are an idiot, aren’t you?

    • Drained and Washed Clean says:

      you guys do know your worshiping food right
      ** First, you really need to learn how to punctuate. Second, we know exactly what we are doing. You obviously have no idea. When you visit a website it would behoove you to read all information associated with it before commenting on it.
      i mean how is food holy in anyway and how is he a ”god”
      am not saying that its wrong
      ** Yes, you are.
      but i get how people worship budda and jesus and even the devil
      ** Really? How is it that you can “understand” people worshiping Jesus who a. can’t really be proven to exist, b. is a zombie c. is his own father c. as his father has committed some of the worst atrocities in history. You are saying that you understand how people worship a person that has no historical record other than documents written over a century after his supposed existence by authors who were not who they said they were can do that, but you can’t understand us? We are doing the exact same thing!
      but how are you going to worship food
      ** How does one worship zombies? Or guys with hammers? Or guys with thunderbolts? Or guys who are half guy and half elephant? How is food any more ridiculous? At least I can prove mine exists.
      come on is the world really doing that bad …
      ** You know, it just might be…
      that we have to turn our faith to a flying spaghetti monster ??
      ** At least ours isn’t a judgmental asshole who will kill and torture anyone who doesn’t believe in it, and who allows its followers to rejoice in the fact they will get some sort of justice after death, so they can go around bullying the rest of the world. Would you like to go and have a conversation with them about how ridiculous that is?
      wow just wow ??
      ** Yeah. Wow… You still haven’t read the about page.
      and remember am not trying to hurt anyone am just giving my honest opinion
      ** Bullshit. You would like to try and hurt someone’s feelings. However, you will be unsuccessful because you have no idea what you are talking about.

  3. LIfeLongStudent says:

    Im new here and just want to say this site is amazing.

    I’d love to see a forum topics based on articles instead on just pictures though.
    Seems like there is a lot of knowledge here which could be harnessed for good.

    As for the thread, I too find any religious emphasis on national holidays to be deeply offensive.
    Exactly why can it not just be a time for family and friends regardless of religion.
    Why do religions insist on trying to own that time of year?

    • Apprentice Frederic says:

      Hi, LLS – you are surely welcome, and may His Noodly Appendage rest upon you for a long life of lifelong study! If not already aware of this, you should check out the “discussion forum” flagged near the top of the homepage – its membership makeup and thread topics may fit your “love to see” as well….

    • Sam says:

      Wow this cemomnt made my head spin because you just butchered the English language. How can you respond to an article about grammar with horrible grammar? Number one: it’s “you’re,” as in you are, and “a lot,” as in two words. You also chose to avoid using punctuation correctly, so your cemomnt looked like you just threw up on the screen as opposed to putting together any logical thought. I understand it’s not always essential to write perfectly online, as I am part of the information generation after all, but you just exemplified this writer’s grievances. And finally, were you kidding by writing “gud” and “nd??” I just didn’t get it. I hate to be so brash but come on, you just assaulted this article. And yes, I meant assaulted, not insulted.

      • Specile Sicentis says:

        Cemomnt? That must be what you say or type when you are trying to make a fucking piont, or talking about somethinmg or other.

        • Ferenst Anrtplogist says:

          Hi Specile, gud to see you posting to make your fucking pionts again. We must not tolarate illitracy on this cite. I think “cemomnt” is a refrence to a specile kind of conkrete. Its yoused for paching wholes in the pavmunt.

          Cordially yours,
          Ferenst

        • Keith says:

          If you add spice it becomes “cinnament”.

        • Specile Sicentis says:

          Ahhh. I see your fucking piont, Ferenst. And Keith, wouldn’t be fair to say that ‘cinnament’ would be an interesting thinmg to taste?

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      You know what I find offensive? I went to the funeral for a friend and the priest turned the whole thing into an hour long commercial for Christianity. The dearly departed was a distinct after-thought.

      • Atsap Revol says:

        Well, TFTPTM, Catholic priests are not the only religious order to fuck up a funeral, although I do like how Catholics wave cencers and smell up the place with burning incense. I have seen evangelicals “preach” a funeral with the main message being: “you all will go to Hell if you don’t quickly accept Jesus as your personal savior.”

        In my will, I request that no funeral or memorial service be held. It’s the worst hypocrisy in the world for some preacher or priest to utter magic words over the remains of an old fart non-believer like me. The only thing worse is for that asshole Fred Phelps to stage demonstrations at the funerals of servicepeople KIA.

        On the bright side, those who get raptured will not have to bear the indignity of a funeral. That will save a lot of pastoral bullshit and reduce the profits of the mortuary business.

        Atsap Revol, COF (Cranky Old Fart)

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          Call me Few. Perhaps I shouldn’t have chosen such an awkward moniker.

          Anyway, you’ve given me an idea, Atsap! I would like to be cremated with Mr. Phelps strapped to the coffin. Preferably alive.

        • Danny says:

          I’m thinking of going for a viking funeral pyre, with bagpipes and funeral rites (not sure if that’s the word) read by a Pastafarian Minister.

    • Tom Brandon says:

      I know: we could call it “Thanksgiving”!

  4. Rachel says:

    Despite my atheist inclinations, I can now aimlessly buy shit under the pretext of a “religious” holiday! This is brilliant!

  5. food worshipper, too says:

    swiss cheese is holeyer yhan thou. and don’t forget angelhair pasta, angelfood cake, converted rice…

  6. Zensufi says:

    I like it. But I have to say I am concerned that the beer volcano will have only one brand of beer. Unless it has St. Ardus beer, then one beer is fine.

    • Keith says:

      It will be like the magic waterslide, where you shout out your favourite beverage on the way down (Just don’t forget yourself and shout weee!)

  7. NakedAnthropologist says:

    Dear Holabu…

    I feel such sorrow for you…here we live in this great green and blue earth of endless wonders, and you doubt the ultimate truth of His Noodley Appendages. I will nosh for you, in His name, for He is Pasta. In the name of the Farfalle, Sphaghetti, and Yokey Gnocchi. Ramen.

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