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Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day

Published September 19th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

Rev.-Benito-bless-you-on-International-Talk-Like-a-Pirate-Day-500

Greetings from Rev. Benito (Spain) on the International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

FSM bless you!



24 Responses to “Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day”

  1. Temorary Cougar says:

    Pardon a perfect stranger for saying this, but Rev. Benito is one seriously handsome man.

    • Reverend Toni Rigatoni says:

      Not my type, too…..er, male..

  2. Paul says:

    Hi everyone!
    So, I’m not the only FSM church minister in spain (things are becoming interesting). Greetings brothers!!! May Its noodly appendages touch us all. Seriously, IF there is a god, understood as “something greater than the whole universe”, no matter how much we think and/or talk, our ideas will be pathetically wrong. What most amuses me about some religions is how fast they go from “God is love” to “Obey His command” It is not a bit arrogant to pretend to know God’s word so literally and exactly as to send to hell any other person who has a different oppinion? If I have to choose a religion, I go for the FSM. I know, now some catholics or muslims or wharever will star talking about “revelation”, but, with so many different revelations and contradictory codes to follow, I choose FSMs flimsy stardard and noodly manners. Science teach us that the Universe is surely too complex to pretend to know and understand anything, if there is really any superior being, even greater, we should all be a bit more humble. I don´t think talking about the FSM is mocking other religions, as Oscar Wilde said, life is too important to take it seriously. Besides, it is not a bit sad to thing that, in order to be good fellows, we need some sort of sobrenatural policeman to control us?
    RAmen

    • Brian Ferguson says:

      Please help me. I am in Spain and my partner (We are gay) of 23 years and I wanted to get married. We thought the preliminary work would only take a few weeks so last year told all of our family that we were to be married on the 27 th September this year. They have all booked time of work, are flying in from Scotland, England, Canada and Australia expecting a wedding. When we went to file the paperwork we were told it would take 18 months. I’m now left with the choice of letting everyone down or having a blessing from an old paedophile in a frock prattling on about god on the biggest most important day of my life. I live in Orihuela Costa. Is there anything at all you could do to help us? BTW I wouldn’t mind ordination at the same time.

      Thank you in anticipation and best regards,
      Brian.

  3. Gayle McKennon says:

    Are you related to the Flying Purple People Eater, or is that from an alternate benevolent reality in the book of Piratus, O wise one?

  4. TiltedHorizon says:

    Hi Bob. Have you ever hear the saying, “You attract more bees with honey”? That said, you need to accept Darwin and evolution as fact, rejecting all you currently believe, else you will be imprisoned for all eternity with a large and well endowed man as a cellmate who thinks your butt looks good in prison stripped pants. Do you feel like converting? (Something tells me ‘no’.)

    If god exists AND if he really is good then he/she/it/whatever will marvel at the fact that an Atheist managed to live morally without he/she/it/whatever and wonder why you had to be threatened to do the same.

  5. theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

    “if you die”?? See, there’s the hole in your “logic”, Bob. I have no intention of dying, ever. So far, so good.

  6. Pedant says:

    Bob who is also called John’ very biblical

  7. Keith says:

    This is the same lunatic who posted as John under “You Sicken me” on October the 18th. Exactly the same mantra. Is he suffering multiple personality disorder?

  8. Rev. Benito says:

    Dear Bob, you have almost convinced me. But I could say something similar to you. Let’s say:

    Brother! Accept the Flying Spaghetti Monster in your life, because you’ll die one day and maybe you’ll go to Hell and it’s possible that you’ll have to drink stale beer for all the Eternity. Repent, because it has been written:

    “I am the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Thou shalt have no other monsters before Me” Suggestions 1, 1

    “I gave you brains, the ability to reason, and free will for a reason. Please use them. If I say something dumb, question it.” Piraticus 12, 1-3

    RAmen

  9. Drained and Washed Clean says:

    It does make you wonder… If they must be threatened to do what is right, then what kind of people are they really?

  10. Rev. wulff says:

    In the immortal words of Vila Restal (bonus points to anyone who can identify him without a web-search) “I plan to live forever. Or die trying.”

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