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Paper ordination certificates are almost ready

Published August 19th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

paper-certificate

Here is one of the first paper certificates with the new embossed gold foil seals.  I think they look pretty good.   Any suggestions? 



39 Responses to “Paper ordination certificates are almost ready”

  1. Trevor Souter says:

    Will I legally be able to refer to myself as “Reverend” rather than “Mr” on official documents?

  2. Prophetess Tortellini says:

    Was discussing Pastafarianism with a friend who introduced me to the Almighty Noodle Monster and just thought maybe there are sects of FSM, such as The Lasagnaites, Who lay on their back to be bapized with manara’s sauce or the Rigatonians who’s worshippers crawl into their Cylinders of Life and just contem plate about the sacred bubbling waterfalls of completion Maybe the Pastinacs who wait patiently at night in hopes that stars will rain down on them bringing them hope for a good day ahead? Does anyone have knowledge of these sects? Maybe these sects need to be included in FSM?

  3. YouKnowWho says:

    I would like to be ordained in the church of the FSM. Ditto for the comment about adding some sort of watermark.

  4. Steven Mynatt says:

    To whom it may concern,

    Some sort of Angel dressed as a pirate came to me last week and after the whole “pull my finger” Thing that Pirates are so fond of, He gave me a revelation that may change everything we currently believe. The Pirate told me to dig a hole in my backyard in a place where my dog likes to lay cable and when I did I found 3 silver tablets and a secret decoder ring from a ancient box of crackerjacks.

    Apparently, there was another monster that was placed in charge of the American continent “Boiardi” that lives in a tin cylinder. Boiardi was eaten by an ancient Tribe of Zuni Indians who mistakenly thought the cylinder was a can of Spaghetti, but later on got some really nasty gas that floated into the air and became the “Spirit of Boiardi”. We are commanded by the FSM to Worship Boiardi in the Spirit …… Just saying.

    • Keith says:

      Steven. Please feel free to worship what you want. Personally I feel that your experience was an event engineered by Ultraterrestrials to steer people away from the FSM. Now, where did I put my foil hat?

      • Steven Mynatt says:

        That sounds really crazy Keith, Is there a history of mental illness in your Family? Anyways, most “Ultraterrestrials” I know of are very disinterested in the Spirit as they believe it is just gas, I however was given the ability (and equipment) to smell the messages that are placed in the Spirit. Few people have been chosen for this. I tried annointing my wife in the Spirit last night but the Spirit just makes her crankey and although she could smell the awesome power, She just couldn’t understand the message. Maybe you, like Her, just do not have enough Faith to sense the awesome power of the Spirit.

        I will pray for you.

        • FARTING CHOCOLATE DUDE says:

          Only the chosen few can perceive the power and the message conveyed in My awesome gaseous emissions. You are among the blessed Steven Mynatt. Keep the faith, baby.

          The Farting Chocolate Dude

        • Keith says:

          “Is there a history of mental illness in your Family?”
          No more than in yours, I daresay.
          I know that Louis the 14th used to get a rub down with spirits of wine. He probably had the same experiences as you.
          It’s not a question of not having enough faith. I have no faith.

  5. Steven Mynatt says:

    To Chocolate Farting dude; I think maybe you are a Prophet of the highest order. You should learn jetti methods for controling the Spirit so that it will only come when people are around that need the baptism,,,, stay away from that fire baptism that you hear about from the Pentacostal FSM, those people are crazy and do not have eyebrows or anus hair.

    To Keith; SEE, I knew you had mental illness in your Family, AND I knew you had no Faith, this proves without a doubt that I am the Choosen Prophet of the FSM/LDS and that you should bow down and worship my awesome power.

  6. Steven Mynatt says:

    Hey ! Pentacostal Pastafarians ……. PP’s ,,,,,,,,,, Just saying.

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