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Jesus was a Pastafarian

Published July 14th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

Jesus-FSM-Color_sm

Here is our friend Stephen Klinger’s newest creation.  What I like most about this piece, besides the FSM pouring beer on a stripper, is the prominent display of Jesus – an unexpected element in Pastafarian art.  I can imagine both Christians and Atheists might be offended over this, if they try.  I think that’s what I like about it.

What do you guys think? 

Update – A concerned stripper writes:

I am a devoted and practicing member of the Church of the FSM. I am also a stripper. Sure, laugh it up. I take my job seriously, and I love my job. It just so happens that I’m quite capable of reasoning and critical thinking, though, and when introduced to the Church and its teachings, I immediately declared myself a member. It seemed like the perfect fit for me, the one I’ve been looking for all of these years.

There’s a post of Jesus with FSM in the background, pouring beer on a stripper. Does the FSM really do this? I’m having a crisis of faith over here. If the FSM really does pour beer on strippers, I don’t think I can be a part of the Church anymore.

It doesn’t seem like it fits the general theme of peace that is going on. I don’t think pirates would have doused strippers in beer without their explicit request to do so. And although strippers tend to love beer (And I certainly do! I celebrate on Fridays, as recommended.), I wonder whether the stripper in the picture is actually consenting and requesting that she be doused in beer.

In order for strippers to do their jobs properly, they can’t be sticky from beer, and most guys tend to want their strippers dry and clean. It also seems like it is a hazard to a stripper’s safety, and could cause serious injury or death by slipping on the pools of beer that would form. I am sure that the FSM would not want a death attributed to him, even a stripper’s. And I am absolutely positive that strippers find beer being poured on them to be too messy and too much trouble to be worth it.

All of this said, I’m having a crisis of faith. Is this what the FSM wants from me? To be dangerously doused in beer while in my 7" stilettos? I can’t risk my safety or my financial well-being.

Now what? Do I leave the Church of the FSM? How do I reconcile the feelings I have about the FSM? Can anyone offer me some advice?

Love and Peace to the FSM Community,

–Piper



218 Responses to “Jesus was a Pastafarian”

  1. dave campbell says:

    Just noticed in the picture of FSM (not to be confused with idolatry, only real pasta should be made as pictures are not tasty) that the FSM has two meat-balls AND two eyes. Obviously the eyes are for seeing. What are the meatballs for? Do they indicate super sight? Propulsion system?

    • Cheese says:

      They represent how The Great Noodliness has bigger balls.
      Sometimes the obvious thing is obvious.
      and true.

  2. Shawn says:

    I wonder why you don’t make fun of Islam or Judaism. Oh, Christianity is the only religion you can slander, my bad.

    • wulff says:

      As has been mentioned before, we hold up a mirror to all religions. You see in it what you want to see. If you see us slandering x-tianity, it’s because you WANT to see us slandering x-tianity.

      Why is it only x-tians who troll here? Is it because they are the most distressed by what they see in the mirror?

    • TiltedHorizon says:

      Here is a hint, in the FSM afterlife there is beer & strippers. Since Christianity does not offer any such rewards, what belief would be an equivalent? Hint: 72 Virgins

      The fact that you think your faith is singled out is because you have never compared the religions, you simply don’t know enough to see the similarities. You are an example of how little consideration is given to other faiths.

    • Drained and Washed Clean says:

      All religions are based on works of man claimed to be works of god, and every one of them has killed because of their beliefs. I think ALL religion should be purged.

      We comment mostly on xianity because those are the trolls we get, but if you would like to take up a discussion on the Jews or Muslims and discuss the atrocities of their gods, books, and acts, then please… Where would you like to start?

      • Rational one says:

        Do I know you? you talk like you have a brain. I was beginning to think I was the only person on Earth that is aware of the FACT that ALL GODS were MAN MADE.

    • tekHedd says:

      Not really a stupid question, but the answer should be quite obvious.

      1) Jews don’t evangelize

      2) FSM is most popular in the USA, where Christianity is a strong political force,

      3) If we make fun of Islam, we could end up with our heads cut off.

      Obviously, 3) is a strong motivator.

      • TiltedHorizon says:

        @tekHedd

        3) If we make fun of Islam, we could end up with our heads cut off.

        There was a time when saying anything against Christianity would have ended the same way or worse. Need only look at Christian history for the details but I’ll provide some examples…. (warning to anyone who may google these names, these are cruel devices, what you may find will be disturbing)

        - The Judas Cradle – Used to slowly split a person in two
        - The Pope’s Pears – A sharp bulbous device which blossoms inside a cavity of the victim, intended to rip them apart from the inside.
        - The Slow Burn – A rack that can be hoisted into and out of an open fire. Because burning to death is too quick.

    • midnight rider says:

      Not too many Jews or Muslims wander over here and say THEIR RELIGION IS THE ONE AND ONLY AND YOU WILL BURN IN HELL IF YOU DON”T LOVE ALLAH OR JEHOVAH!! I don’t think I’ve seen anyone but Christians complaining about the FSM. Do the Jews or Muslims push Intelligent Design in school science classes? Have the Scientologists threatened to sue the FSM? Are pagans casting curses on us for dissing their Goddess?

      I’d be guessing that it’s usually the (overzealous hater) Christians who get all bent out of shape about this site. Nobody else seems to care.

      • rationalone says:

        ARR ME MATIE, Fools fear truth. While Pirates plays with fire and laugh!

        Eat, Drink, and ignore the ignorant. R Amen

    • His Wholyness the Cook says:

      I would be delighted to share the wondrous gift His Noodliness has bestowed upon my with Muslims, but they keep insisting that the meals I cook are “haram” and they refuse the communion wine, even though I give everyone who sucks the noodle with me a choice of at least half a dozen of the finest reds.

  3. Steve says:

    Yes, this artwork is very offensive. Such images of Jesus are always nauseating. Still, I won’t burn any crosses over it or call for a fatwah. Personally, when it comes to satirical cartoons, I think I’d prefer to see spaghetti crosses or maybe a crucified spaghetti monster with a crown of thorns. But what are the implications of all this? Is it being suggested that the spaghetti monster is the son of God who died on the cross, commonly mistaken for Jesus? Or did Jesus transform into the spaghetti monster, possibly after His resurrection and ascension? Is the spaghetti monster another form of the Deity, making it a holy Quaternity rather than a Trinity? The Father, the Son, the Holy Ghost, and the Spaghetti Spirit? This foursome could also represent the seasons better, seeming to make more sense than a three-part god. Plus, four gods in one has to be better than just three, like Trident versus Doublemint gum. In terms of seasonal correspondence, I would guess that the Father must represent winter as an old graybeard, and the Son could stand for spring, the “heir” of winter. I think the Holy Ghost seems best associaeted with autumn, since it is a time of fading and Halloween. Alternatively, I suppose the HG could be associated with winter (death), and the Father with autumn (old age). Anyway, it CLEARLY makes most sense to identify the Spaghetti Spirit with summer. Since summer is the time of year when living things are at their peak of energy, it is fitting to represent it with the positive energy of the Spag Spirit–a symbol of liveliness and good humor? There are many other matters to consider as well. For example, what do the strands of spaghetti represent? Omnipresence? The connectedness of all things? How does the Spaghetti Spirit communicate with people? Through humor and laughter mainly? Should spaghetti be a sacred food? When we eat it, are we eating the body of the Deity? What was the point of Jesus’ sacrifice and transformation into the Spaghetti Spirit? Was it partly to save humanity through humor, which could be a weapon against the seriousness that divides people and drives them to inhumanity? Of course, what’s really needed is an ecumenical council to decide all these important matters. Maybe it could be done online. Cheers. Praise the Spag Spirit.

    • Rational one says:

      To discuss the bible as an historical document, is a true sign of ignorance.
      When you discuss fiction you should get a grip and call it fiction.

    • Steve says:

      By the way, I think it is a compliment to say the picture is offensive, since I assume that was the artist’s intended effect.

  4. A.Hubert says:

    Just heard of you today, I’ll need to know much about such, May I get to know much as far as Christianity, and other faith has gone in comparison, Then I can see the dynamic of mind and fate.

  5. tekHedd says:

    I think I agree with OP here, in that the image is probably offensive in a lot of ways. But it made me smile and think. Does that make it OK?

  6. Makara says:

    It isn’t a “beer”…it’s Russell’s Teapot. LOL!

    • Steven Klinger says:

      I’m glad someone noticed it was Russells teapot!

  7. Raul says:

    How do we know jesus was a true believe and not a false profit for his evilness, the antipasti?

    • Rational one says:

      We do not even know with any certainty that Jesus Christ lived at all, never mind the myth of his character.

      • Mike says:

        We’re not even sure Nazareth was more than a well at the time Jesus purportedly lived.

        • Mike says:

          OK you chickenshit Christian trolls – give some actual answers to the questions raised rather than just spamming the ‘dislike’ buttons.

  8. Insightful Ape says:

    The antics of religious bullies seeking to silence criticism are remarkably similiar, no matter what stripes of dogma they claim affiliation with. Those who complain about this work of art “singling out” Christianity and leaving Islam and other religions off the hook may not realize it. But being “singled out” is exactly the argument brought up by radical imams in Denmark demanding an apology from the cartoonist who drew pictures of prophet Mohammad. Since it is not possible to criticize every single religion in the world all the time, these complaints are essentially demands that religion should be beyond criticism, which is the real agenda here.

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