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Jesus was a Pastafarian

Published July 14th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

Jesus-FSM-Color_sm

Here is our friend Stephen Klinger’s newest creation.  What I like most about this piece, besides the FSM pouring beer on a stripper, is the prominent display of Jesus – an unexpected element in Pastafarian art.  I can imagine both Christians and Atheists might be offended over this, if they try.  I think that’s what I like about it.

What do you guys think? 

Update – A concerned stripper writes:

I am a devoted and practicing member of the Church of the FSM. I am also a stripper. Sure, laugh it up. I take my job seriously, and I love my job. It just so happens that I’m quite capable of reasoning and critical thinking, though, and when introduced to the Church and its teachings, I immediately declared myself a member. It seemed like the perfect fit for me, the one I’ve been looking for all of these years.

There’s a post of Jesus with FSM in the background, pouring beer on a stripper. Does the FSM really do this? I’m having a crisis of faith over here. If the FSM really does pour beer on strippers, I don’t think I can be a part of the Church anymore.

It doesn’t seem like it fits the general theme of peace that is going on. I don’t think pirates would have doused strippers in beer without their explicit request to do so. And although strippers tend to love beer (And I certainly do! I celebrate on Fridays, as recommended.), I wonder whether the stripper in the picture is actually consenting and requesting that she be doused in beer.

In order for strippers to do their jobs properly, they can’t be sticky from beer, and most guys tend to want their strippers dry and clean. It also seems like it is a hazard to a stripper’s safety, and could cause serious injury or death by slipping on the pools of beer that would form. I am sure that the FSM would not want a death attributed to him, even a stripper’s. And I am absolutely positive that strippers find beer being poured on them to be too messy and too much trouble to be worth it.

All of this said, I’m having a crisis of faith. Is this what the FSM wants from me? To be dangerously doused in beer while in my 7" stilettos? I can’t risk my safety or my financial well-being.

Now what? Do I leave the Church of the FSM? How do I reconcile the feelings I have about the FSM? Can anyone offer me some advice?

Love and Peace to the FSM Community,

–Piper



218 Responses to “Jesus was a Pastafarian”

  1. Rev Vonloon from Our Lady of Angel Hair says:

    Jesus hung out with the prostitutes and the lowest of the low,and at parties he changed the ripple wine into fine wine.He pointed out dogmatic and hypocritical beliefs,and he was the inventer of Chef Bor Idee yet* (not confirmed as of yet).The red sauce scrolls found by the dead sea,are on the verge of proving this.In a short 15 years we should have the answer.

    • dave campbell says:

      Jesus actually sided with the prostitute according to the Bible.

      Prostitutes eat spaghetti.

      This proves a link between Jesus and the Spaghetti monster.

      “By their spaghetti and meatballs ye shall know them”

      • His Wholyness the Cook says:

        It is well known that this is where Pasta Puttanesca came from.

    • `ax says:

      The Red Sauce Scrolls..have been translated!!
      The sacred spaghetti code written down by the secret 12 chefs proved that Jesus was a pastafarian, as he said eat of my body of rich pastas and and use of my blood red (sauce) the translation says pastas and sauce.When he made his last supper,and few stayed to eat it with him, he went back to his obscure carpentry work. He did make a come back 15 years later, becoming quite famous by performing miracles in the kitchen until a large roman crustifliction beam fell and impaled him. His funeral was a sad state of affair, untill three days later,eye witnesses said they had seen him preparing grand pasta dishes in three different kitchens at the same time!!His final amazing miracle was the feeding of the five thousand,with only 2 pots of red sauce and one serving of pasta. Many more amazing dishes were served,till his last request,I go to a far better place where my father has many kitchens,I will prepare a meal for you all, and keep the light on for you all to follow.Some say he rose up into the sky and met with,TFSM,others say he was killed by others for thinking he was a king of some sort.3ddddddxxxxxxxxxee´´
      This proves without a shadow of a doubt,Jesus was

  2. ZoomyZiti says:

    Just wanted all to know – I’m Christian (Catholic in my case) and absolutely LOVE this site. Love the painting. Love the discussions, and am disappointed when I read comments from those purporting to subscribe to a movement that promotes peace and forgiveness that only spout hate and self-righteousness. Please forgive those folks, and mentally separate them from those of us who may have beliefs, but not rods up our backsides! :)

    • KSURE says:

      Love and acceptance is the only way :)

      • midnight rider says:

        Yes it is. Praise the FSM.

        • don says:

          Ramen to you O’ Catholic One. Braise His Name!

  3. Wonderswhy says:

    Just to let you know, I came across this page folowing a link form the BBC website. So yes, no as a Christ follower I am not offended.
    Also just to let you know not all Christ followers are people who get offended at the drop of a hat. Sorry but there it is. In fact it is interesting to me that a lot of time is spent by people who say He does not exist, arguing His existence.

    I was an atheist once. Never once did I talk about God. I didn’t believe that He existed. So how does one rationally talk about someone who does not exist. I also didn’t talk about God to Christians. Why? It is a pointless exercise as they believed in Him and I didn’t. And now I am a Christ follower I do not talk to atheists about God. Why? It’s pointless. He doesn’t exist right?

    Still this was an interesting encounter.

    SUSHI FOREVER!!! 8¬P

    • Steve says:

      I was a deluded believer once with no grasp of reality. Well, actually not. I think I always recognized that religion was too much like indulging in wishful thinking and living in a dreamworld. And, whatever people choose to believe, it really makes no sense at all to favor one religion’s “truths” over another’s. Even if it were possible for some sort of godlike being to exist, it’s ridiculous to imagine it cares about individual creatures, or humans especially, or that it cares at all about human concepts of morality and justice. Further, the belief in a creator god of any sort doesn’t solve any mysteries and is completely unnecessary; since if we can imagine a creator that always existed before creation, we can just as easily imagine a universe that always existed without a creator. Moreover, it takes an insanely huge imaginative leap to get from the possibility of a creator god to the particular doctrines of a religion (e.g., Jesus was the son of God and died on purpose to save people from the real or symbolic sin of the first man eating a forbidden apple when he was tempted by a snake representing God’s enemy.). Nowadays, we can take our pick from innumberable such myths, but in the past we just learned the ones of our own isolated culture. They’re all irrational products of fear and wishful thinking, and they are all been used through history as means of social control.

      “Civilization will not attain to its perfection, until the last stone from the last church falls on the last priest!” (Emile Zola)
      “Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told.” (George Carlin)

    • Rational one says:

      The only solution is to know all questions have right and wrong answers. It is not OK to just believe any silly thing you want.

      What happens in a math test if you get the answers wrong? You fail. To me the point of the Pastafarian is to promote free thinkers, and to question everything without taking things too seriously. After all Odin, Zeus, Venus, and Wotan are all man made Gods, No different from Christ, Allah, Buddha, Harri Chrishna. Mythology is just that, Even The great flying spaghetti monster is a myth.

      Man should be smart enough by now to know life is too short to even consider the silly idea of life after death.
      Rather we should think of whiskey after beer. And our noodles dripping in our favorite sauce.

      • Steve says:

        I thought the point of Pastafarianism was to mock religion by showing that it is the same as believing in something as silly as a Flying Spaghetti Monster. I know it’s not PC to mock religion, but mockery can be a good thing if it helps to undermine ignorant and harmful beliefs. If religion were generally beneficial, or at least harmless, I wouldn’t criticize it.

        Even if we overlook the clearly mocking character of Pastafarianism, it seems self-contradictory if it is intended to promote tolerance of all beliefs. How can a new religion inherently at odds with all other religions possibly promote tolerance? To do so, it would have to explicitly embrace all religions and somehow combine them in a way not offensive to the members of those religions, and I don’t see how the FSM can manage this.

        In my view, this should not be a forum for “respecting” all beliefs. It should be for ridiculing foolish beliefs. Religion is already accorded too much respect in most of society for no good reason. That protection from criticism needs to be eroded.

        • midnight rider says:

          Well, I am of the opinion that someone who writes to the Kansas City schoolboard saying that the world was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster and this theology should be included in science class is definitely mocking religion. lol.

        • rationalone says:

          Write a letter to the creator of F.S.M. and his wisdom could change your out look.

        • tekHedd says:

          Satire, mockery, subtle difference. (Sorry, verbs extra.)

  4. TiltedHorizon says:

    I love this piece, it speaks to me, here is my interpretation:

    Jesus is the central figure, taking most of the canvas, his back is turned on FSM the the stripper. To some, this may seem like Jesus does not approve. However, if you look at the shadows, Jesus is looking at a light source. Clearly Jesus is posing for the flashing paparazzi, see that unmistakable grin, he approves.

    Pour that beer FSM, pour it!

  5. ArtCritique says:

    While I applaud Steven’s vision, I must say the the execution of that vision is embarrassingly sophomoric. I suggest Mr. Klinger get himself enrolled in some basic anatomy classes and learn to draw on a more professional level. His work shows promise but it needs to be fine tuned. …Hey, you asked for feedback.

    • Steven Klinger says:

      I agree and disagree with you, This image is nothing more than a doodle. It took about the same time to create as does a meatloaf dinner. I didn’t want the stripper to be the emphasis, so I put her in the shadow of the FSM and Beer volcano. My art is meant to spark thought, I wasn’t attempting to show off an anatomical drawing skills. But I do value your opinion. Being an artist I can take the good with the bad, college art classes have taught me to have a tough skin! Feel free to check out my other Artwork on my facebook site.

  6. TiltedHorizon says:

    I agree on the anatomy class, that stripper on the pole lacks the proportion I prefer. Real women have curves.

    • TiltedHorizon says:

      A negative rate? I am not going to apologize for loving J Lo sized proportions.

      • Mal says:

        I’ll tilt the scales back for you. Curves are much better.

        • Puddin says:

          Ahhhhgree

    • EarthMum says:

      You’re welcome to prefer a certain body type, but REAL women come in many proportions, and REAL women do not contain plastic.

      • TiltedHorizon says:

        J Lo contains plastic? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

        • Thomas L. Nielsen says:

          Yes. The truth hurts.

          Thomas L. Nielsen
          Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Silicone
          Luxembourg Office

      • TiltedHorizon says:

        BTW, my post was a satirical reply to ArtCritique building on his ‘anatomy’ comment. It was not meant to be a literal assessment of the female form.

        Although I do love J Lo.

        • Spammyboy says:

          Can J Ch be shortened in the same way? Actually, having typed that, I realise my idea was fallacy… WHY is the Son of Pasta so hard to shorten?!

      • midnight rider says:

        Ok, give me plastic women then…lol

    • Randy says:

      I’m with you TH, real women have curves!!!

      • wulff says:

        RAMEN!

  7. Don Sharpe says:

    Show me ‘Mohammed the Pastafarian’!
    Love it!
    I will pick up my official picture headgear at Ikea on the way home from work today.

  8. dave campbell says:

    OK, now that the door is open with the J-man, some observations:

    1.) If one accepts the Spaghetti Monster, is it afterwards unacceptable to eat spaghetti with meatballs as that is the configuration of the S.M? Is it now restricted to just “spaghetti with red sauce” or ” spaghetti with red meat sauce not in meatball configuration” or does the ground meat indicate sacrilege? If vegetarian product is substituted instead of meat, is that acceptable?

    2.) When eating spaghetti and meatballs, does that then qualify the CoFSM as Catholic with that transsubstantiation thing?

    3.) Does the S.M. care either way?

    4.) Would the anthesis character in SM theology be referred to as the “Anti-pasta?”

    A Nicene crisis unfolding.

    “Offended” I think everyone should be offended now and then, it tends to break that “its all about me” mind-set.

    http://second-amendment.tripod.com/d2a

    • wulff says:

      Dave, thanks for playing. I hope these answers are helpful.

      1) His Noodliness, The Flying Spaghetti Monster, GAVE us pasta, that we could take nourishment from his image, as well as SEE the proof of his existence. And the FSM, being a tolerant and laid-back divinity, does not mind if you choose a vegetarian alternative, nor does he mandate a red sauce. He wishes only that we partake of his Noodly goodness in peace and gratitude.

      2) The x-tians stole the whole transubstantiation thing from His Noodliness.

      3) See the 8 “I’d Really Rather You Didn’t”s for more details on His desires.

      4) Yes, we are always on the lookout for the Anti-pasta. You will find him anywhere you see hatred and intolerance being taught under the names of “love” and “acceptance”.

      • Steve says:

        I believe it is sacrilege to think eating spaghetti or using particular kinds of sauce can be sacrilegious. It goes aginst the Spaghetti Spirit’s essential good humor. Of course all noodles are holy, and saying some magic words can of course transform particular noodles into the body of the Deity. That goes without saying. I agree completely with the idea of evil Anti-pastas, but I undertand them in the plural as all enemies of reason and humor. I’m not clear on the symbolism of sauces and meatballs, but I humbly suggest that they may represent variety in the pleasures of life. Spaghetti is of course the essence of things, so sauces and meatballs added for flavor seem logically to correspond with people’s varied tastes, interests, and ways of pursuing happiness. Thus, they represent the diversity of living things that combines with their overall unity and harmony. It would be divisive and sectarian to favor one sauce over others, viewing the others as “false” or profane. The Great Spaghetti views all sauces as equals, so long as they do not symbolically offend the essential spaghetti oneness of things by making spaghetti toxic or inedible.

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