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You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)

Published June 5th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

You are a fraud. It’s obvious to me that you don’t give a shit about you’re so-called religion. I am not even that christian but this site makes me sick. you have no right to start a religion or should i say cult.  People need to think for themselves they dont need to listen to your nonsense. I am not even that christian but at least they are trying to help people. What are you trying to do? make money and buy a pirate ship and fill it with strippers and beer?  That is the most stupid thing I ever heard. I hope the government shuts you down and takes you’re money. You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron.

Suck it,

Mike



1,167 Responses to “You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)”

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  1. Insightful Ape says:

    If you deny a man belief in FSM you also deny him hope and if he is hopeless you make him helpless. Belief in FSM is FSM’s gift of his everlasting salvation. A man can transcend this world with belief in FSM.
    (Spelling and factual errors corrected.)

    • midnight_rider says:

      Ramen, brother!

    • Spammyboy says:

      *everlasting salivation :)

  2. A Little Zebra of Righteous Accord says:

    Religion is a shepherding tool used by powerful organizations, e.g, the Catholic church, for the masses, e.g., Mike. Those of us who can see through the veil have an obligation to expose religion for what it truly is; brainwashing of the weak on a massive scale. This is a great website.

    • TiltedHorizon says:

      Welcome to FSM, may his noodly appendage touch others through you.

      Ramen

  3. Encyclodpedia Brit says:

    I personally look forward to commandeering a ship. It seems to be done all the time by pirates. It makes me sad to know that there are dumb non-christians out there, I like to give them the benefit of the doubt, but really? Yeash.

  4. wulff says:

    If you’re not “that christian” then you must be “the other” christian, and everybody knows it’s always “the other” guy’s fault…

  5. Keith says:

    This Mike character implies that he knows the cost of a pirate ship, so I would guess that he wanted to buy one himself at some stage. Must be a closet Pastafarian.

  6. Drained and Washed Clean says:

    You are a fraud.
    ** No, we are satirical. Huge difference. A dictionary may be of assistance to you here.
    It’s obvious to me that you don’t give a shit about you’re so-called religion.
    ** We actually care very deeply about not allowing people who believe in invisible sky people that enjoy violence to teach that to children in public schools. And the beer volcano is definitely something to give a shit about.
    I am not even that christian
    ** I didn’t realize that there were levels or degrees of religion. I thought it was an in or out thing. Isn’t there something in the bible about hot and cold, and if you aren’t hot you will be spit out…? Yeah, so by your own bible you are going to your invisible super hot place. You just buy what everyone else is selling because you are too lazy to do your own research and make your own decisions.
    but this site makes me sick.
    ** Yeah? A god that kills anything that disagrees with it, Christians who follow a mythical man they can’t even prove exists and have a self-righteous attitude about their beliefs even though they can offer no proof of anything make me sick. Priests who molest children make me sick. Imams who kill women for being raped make me sick. Men who sew up women’s vagina’s make me sick. Perhaps you should find something else to be sick about as opposed to a website that admits it is a satire.
    you have no right to start a religion or should i say cult.
    **Why? People have been doing it throughout history to explain things in nature they didn’t understand (Egyptian, Norse, Greek, Roman, Jews, Christians, Muslims, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Mormons… need I go on?)
    People need to think for themselves
    ** Right. Except if it means that something they may hear goes against what YOU believe to be truth, right? So. What research have you done into your religion? What proof do you have? What records show Christ’s existence? Why did Paul believe he was writing about a myth?
    they dont need to listen to your nonsense.
    ** But they should listen to yours? How does an invisible sky daddy with flying light creatures who fights flying dark creatures who answer to the darkest flying creature (which can turn itself into a talking snake) trying to take over the world, magical burning bushes, and the invisible sky daddy can send you to a place of happiness with clouds and sunshine and gold and pearls or you can go to a really really really hot place because you aren’t doing what it orders you to do (which is at times destroying entire civilizations). Yes. Yours is definitely better than “we don’t give a shit what you do as long as you aren’t hurting anyone else”. You win.
    I am not even that christian but at least they are trying to help people.
    ** That is the second time you have said that. Why are you trying to establish what level of xian you are? And how are they trying to help people? Other than to build themselves bigger churches and to pay off politicians and lobbyists to break the law and the Constitution by trying to have xians take over the country…
    What are you trying to do?
    **Keep religion out of schools and follow the Constitution.
    make money and buy a pirate ship and fill it with strippers and beer?
    Where are any of us making anywhere close to the money of, say, the Catholic church? Why are you not mad that the Pope dresses in gold, precious gemstones, jewels, and even has his clothing made with GOLD THREAD! The CoFSM has been around for how long and we have been unable to purchase a pirate ship because of the immense cost. The Pope could purchase one today. Seeing a problem here?
    That is the most stupid thing I ever heard.
    ** No, your reasoning is the most stupid thing I have ever heard.
    I hope the government shuts you down
    ** Freedom of speech, freedom of religion… Have you read the Constitution recently? They can’t shut us down or the ACLU will be up their butts.
    and takes you’re money.
    ** Can’t do that either. They would have to prove we are a criminal organization (which we aren’t) or tax evasion to seize assets. But I repeat… WHAT MONEY?!?! Bobby gets WAY less than ANY organized religion AND doesn’t have tax exemptions.
    You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron.
    ** Yeah, stomp on our dream. You realize the churches in this country spend millions every year on sound equipment, new buildings, paying their pastors, and who knows what else. But you find that acceptable? Why is getting money from the sale of goods bad? At least we are getting cool shit like t-shirts and bumper stickers instead of trying to buy our way into heaven.
    Suck it,
    Suck what? It can refer to a plethora of things…
    Mike
    Idiot (and not that Christian) without the capability of thinking for himself.

  7. stylusmobilus says:

    Hahaha. Hello Drained, we’ve missed you.

    • Drained and Washed Clean says:

      Aww shucks… Thanks :)

  8. Captain says:

    Actually pirate ships sell for about 1 million dollars. Like this one that is just under a million and the price is about to drop down to half a mill http://current.com/148rp4c A year or so ago a gorgeous pirate ship sold at action for a quarter of a million dollars.

    Oh and Mike I know its a great deal of work but read the “About” tab.

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