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You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)

Published June 5th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

You are a fraud. It’s obvious to me that you don’t give a shit about you’re so-called religion. I am not even that christian but this site makes me sick. you have no right to start a religion or should i say cult.  People need to think for themselves they dont need to listen to your nonsense. I am not even that christian but at least they are trying to help people. What are you trying to do? make money and buy a pirate ship and fill it with strippers and beer?  That is the most stupid thing I ever heard. I hope the government shuts you down and takes you’re money. You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron.

Suck it,

Mike



1,170 Responses to “You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)”

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  1. Irina says:

    Who said we’re buying a ship? :P We shall build it or ask the Mighty Spaghetti for it! :D

  2. Joseph says:

    We’ve all seen people using the wrong “Your” in place of “you-are”, but who the heck uses “you’re” incorrectly in place of “your”. You’re trying to hard. (on a side note, I like to imagine that it was purposeful: YOU ARE MONEY!!!)

  3. Gary says:

    Actually, you CAN buy a pirate ship. There’s a guy who lives on the Mississippi River who builds one a year. He takes it for a cruise and then sells it at auction or on Craigs List. The History Channel bought the last one for $80,000.00 (eighty thousand dollars). They’re usually called Gypsy Rose XXXXXXX(some number). Here’s the link:

    http://www.cnn.com/2013/05/23/travel/man-builds-pirate-ship-craigslist

    • Badger says:

      In that case, I would like to apply for a position (preferably a high one) on the FSM Pirate ship! Sounds like an awesome plan…

      • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

        OK, Badger. You get crow’s nest duties.

        • Keith says:

          I’d still like the position of Master Gunner. I’ve had a lot of experience with front end loaders (large and small) and if we run out of cannon balls we can use meat balls.

        • ziddina says:

          Who says the FSM’s flotilla has to be limited to one ship? I say – get several, the damn things tend to sink so we need a backup ship – er, plan…!!

  4. Austin says:

    Dear Mike,

    A few points for you:

    1. Anybody who wants to start a religion, regardless of who they are, can, by any means, start one.
    2. The government cannot nessicarily “shut down” a religion, the same as they can’t ban Christianity because they themselves don’t believe it.
    3. You’re “not even that Christian”? If you’re not sure what you believe you are agnostic. If you are Christian, you are Christian.
    4. We are a cult? Oh, yeah, that’s right. We sacrifice meatballs to the Great One so that they too can join in with their fellow superior meatballs who live amongst him.
    5. evar herd OF gram arR !?’m

  5. Dutchie says:

    I want to be the stripper on the pirate ship! I already know how to Poledance, so i will send in my resume :)!

    • The Reverend Toni Rigatoni says:

      Just a picture will do, the job’s as good as yours!

      May the Sauce be with you.

      The Reverend

      • Atsap Revol says:

        AH HAH, we supposed that you probably were lurking there in a dark corner of the chapel, Reverend Toni. It’s good to see you posting again. It adds a little variety to the mainly spam posts.

        Ramen
        Atsap

        • The Reverend Toni Rigatoni says:

          Thanks Atsap, I do look in regularly but there is little going on now that inspires me to ‘girdle my loins’. It could be that I’m getting old or maybe it’s because the soul has gone out of the site since Bobby decided to stop posting mail from ‘concerned Christians’. It’s fun to have a bit of banter between ourselves but I feel that we have little chance of achieving anything significant by merely ‘preaching to the choir’ so to speak. Even, as I suspect, most of the posts were probably of the hit and run variety and would achieve little with regard to the poster, others that might stop by, perhaps because of being ‘Pasta curious’ might find a voice with the realization that they are not alone or, as I did, find a way to intellectualize the thoughts they have been harbouring.
          Don’t be concerned, if indeed you are, I will always be around; I am, and always will be in my heart ‘The Reverend’ and this site will always be my spiritual home even if I’m not always here in the physical.

          May the sauce be with you.

          The Reverend.

        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          ATSAP, Reverend Toni,
          With infinitesimal standing compared to yourselves and others, I have nonetheless to agree wholeheartedly that the site is losing savor and flavor and – worse – seems to lack effectuality in the world at large. It’s heartening, though, to see the CoFSM and His Noodlyness so well represented in many parades and gatherings, so many communicants in the Sauce are filled with the proper spirit. I would suggest, however, that we could work together either here or in the Forum to systematically identify support in the form of sane politicians (not a contradiction in terms, we hope) and targets in fhe form of crazy politicians, and be more active in voicing support or condemnation. As an example, the last global-warming crazy I heard was a legislator somewhere who had found scripture that proved that God wouldn’t LET global warming happen. We should bombard his hometown newspaper with the kind of polite sarcasm that this forum is (often) so good at generating. Et Cet.

  6. Tanmen says:

    Being (a little) christian can seriously damage your grammatical skills.

  7. Dman says:

    a little christian?? are you a dwarf?

    • SillyKiwiMan says:

      Perhaps a midget! (or midgit as spelt in our sacred texts) His holy noodliness sends his chosen people to test our faith!

      Yaargh

      • Lunatequ says:

        “Between drunken nights and clumsy afternoons, the Flying Spaghetti Monster produced seas and land (for a second time, accidentally, because he forgot that he created it the day before) along with Heaven and a midget, which he named Man” (Wikipedia)

        Perhaps this is the original Midget? Could ‘Mike’ just be a front for ‘Man’?

  8. Justin says:

    Actually, in pointing out the need for real equality in religious treatment, Pastafarians are doing far more to help people than Christianity is with its constant attempts to withhold basic civil rights from people

    P.S. The only difference between Cult, religion and Mythology are how many people follow it at any given time

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