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You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)

Published June 5th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

You are a fraud. It’s obvious to me that you don’t give a shit about you’re so-called religion. I am not even that christian but this site makes me sick. you have no right to start a religion or should i say cult.  People need to think for themselves they dont need to listen to your nonsense. I am not even that christian but at least they are trying to help people. What are you trying to do? make money and buy a pirate ship and fill it with strippers and beer?  That is the most stupid thing I ever heard. I hope the government shuts you down and takes you’re money. You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron.

Suck it,

Mike



1,155 Responses to “You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)”

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  1. Tingstad says:

    First of all, Greek mythology makes way more sense than Christianity (there’s actually relationships between the gods and humans, there’s a god for everything, and there’s a solid and endless background to everything) and this flying spaghetti thing makes just about as much sense as Christianity. Oh right, except there’s no war or genocide based off if this, just a guy that wants to have a good time. If people want to donate money to this cause then let them, better buying a pirate ship and having a good time than spending millions to cover up Father Ollie’s rough night with the choir boys just so kids can keep getting molested at church.

    • Kahtra says:

      You are so right;
      what’s worse is this schmuck thinks it’s always about money.
      and true, most religions are, but hey!
      pastafarianism isn’t a religion, IT’S A WAY OF LIFE.
      and the life of a pirate, aye, ’tis for me.

      so suck on that. MIKE.

  2. Tingstad says:

    First of all, Greek mythology makes way more sense than Christianity (there’s actually relationships between the gods and humans, there’s a god for everything, and there’s a solid and endless background to everything) and this flying spaghetti thing makes just about as much sense as Christianity. Oh right, except there’s no war or genocide based off if this, just a guy that wants to have a good time. If people want to donate money to this cause then let them, better buying a pirate ship and having a good time than spending millions to cover up Father Ollie’s rough night with the choir boys just so kids can keep getting molested at church

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      Having multiple gods with imperfect personalities also would “explain” stuff like natural disasters. Always amazes me when Christians who go through hurricanes, floods, etc. praise god for saving them, without criticizing him for putting them through it in the first place.

      • Will Mackie says:

        I particularly like your last sentence there. It makes perfect sense.

        It’s almost on par with an abusive father.
        the child will always return trying to get acceptance and love from his dad knowing that he may get beat again but all he focuses on is the good side of things.

        I also don’t like that when people say they will pray for someone who has an illness and the person then dies they say that they’ve gone to a better place.
        If that was the case, why did they pray for them in the first place? Hell, I’d want to die if i knew i was 100% going to a better place. Please don’t pray for me.

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          If I were ever to be interviewed after some calamity, they would never air it. Instead of thanking god for delivering me, I’d taunt his failure to kill me. Wouldn’t that be a refreshing change?

        • Atsap Revol says:

          In the movie Forest Gump, Lt. Dan, who lost both legs in Viet Nam, climbs high in the rigging of Forest Gump’s shrimp boat during a horrendous hurricane and shouts at God. “Is this the best you can do? Come on let’s see a real storm, you phoney!” (Or something to that effect)

          As George Carlin said: “A long time ago, God made up a divine plan. Now you come along and expect him to change his plan to accommodate your prayer?” (Or something to that effect)

          Diseases and Disasters must be in God’s divine plan, and because he is omniscient, he knows how they are affecting you. So why do you think that God is going to be influenced by your prayer? “Thy will be done,” is the only legitimate prayer, because if there is a God, isn’t that going to be the outcome?

          Prayer has a benefit to the person offering it if they believe they have done something positive. But studies show that there is no benefit to the person or thing prayed about. Tough, but true.

          Atsap Revol, Bishop of Blasphemy

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          Speaking of god’s divine plan, the man sure has patience.
          “I think I’ll create the universe for my favorite playthings, humans. But first, I’ll wait 4 billion years for the planet to form and cool, then I’ll play with microscopic life for a long time, then dinosaurs for oh, maybe 200 million years.”

  3. Matt says:

    Does Mike realize that he contradicted himself when he said “you have no right to start a religion or should i say cult. People need to think for themselves” they are thinking for themselves if they want to believe this kind of stuff let them who cares.

    • Jason says:

      I noticed that right away.

      Religions tell people what to think, without question. They openly admit this by calling their followers “sheep” and their leaders “shepherds”.

      “Do not question God,” is a common thought in religions. Ask most religious people why they’re religious and they’ll tell you they were raised that way. Indoctrinated is more like it. Brainwashed into believing something without cause. It’s child abuse. If I told a child who was misbehaving that I’d toss them into the basement and set it on fire, I’d go to jail. Tell a child that God will toss them into the fires of Hell, and you’re a loving, caring, respectable Christian. Seems Legit.

      The FSM is simply a point made in a humorous manner. If Christians want their version of creation taught in schools, they would have to allow all creation beliefs to be taught as well. Of course there are thousands of creationism stories, and more could easily surface. That’s the point this idiot seems to miss. Christians only want things done their way, and no other. Why? Because they’re not satisfied with indoctrinating their own children. They want to indoctrinate all children through the schools and all others through their constant annoyances. Pamphlets on the streets, knocking on doors, etc… And you’re supposed to respect them for invading your privacy, trespassing on your land, and prying into your personal beliefs and business.

      Oh, but they don’t have to show you the same respect, because they were abused…. sorry… INDOCTRINATED to believe they are not only right, but superior and the only good people in the world. They’re so peaceful, tolerant, and loving that they will prove it by harassing and killing anyone who disagrees.

  4. Leo says:

    “What are you trying to do? make money and buy a pirate ship and fill it with strippers and beer? ”

    A pirate ship filled with strippers and beer! Where do I send my money to so we can build this paradise on Earth?

    • New to Noodling, Cardiff says:

      Is the campaign to build a pirate ship still going strong?

      I’d also like to make it happen, but surely it would be better if everyone on the ship felt comfortable stripping?? – so really in fact I feel strongly about this enough that I’m only in on this as well if we have equal opportunities for strippers and strippies!!

      I think His noodliness, without clothes Himself of course, would appreciate and facilitate in His wisdom, the benefit in all pirates and ship-mates stripping for all others.

  5. Tovah says:

    Well, in my opinion, the FSM makes more sense than Christianity. And I think the money goes for a good cause.

    RAmen.

  6. Justin McBeans says:

    I am a new Pastafarian but this religion makes more sense then any other.We should build an old wooden ship with FSM on the mast :)

  7. God Is An Atheist says:

    Mike is an imbecile. Anyone, and I mean ANYONE, can start a religion in this country. It’s ok for people to be Satanic, their rights are protected by our constitution but it’s NOT ok to start a different religion and worship FSM? That is, well, simply put, a stupid ass comment by a stupid ass creatard. They need to read books, study, spend time reading their own bible and then maybe realize that it’s all fairy tales and bedtime stories for children and should NOT be taken literally.

    • Jason says:

      The rights of Satanists are protected. The rights of Fred Phelps and his hate group are protected. The rights of religions, hate groups, and all manner of things are protected in this country. BUT… saying these three simple words will cause you to lose that protection, and have people screaming to have your rights stripped away: “I’m an atheist.”

  8. Jake says:

    It’s funny how you all remind me of little children who worship a pasta. Heck, I laugh at you all because one day your going to get it. And your going to get it with the REAL God.

    • Mr. Goodbar says:

      Thank you, Jake, for pointing out the childishness of worshipping pasta. It is my fond hope that they will one day get it with the real God, my Father in Theobromo Heaven, The Farting Chocolate Dude. I was sent to Earth to redeem Pastafarians and other sinners from the error of their ways and bring them safely to the Holy Vapors of His Flatulent Glory. Remember, the Flying Spaghetti Monster may have big balls, but I have nuts.

      Mr. G

    • Jason says:

      Evidence for your “real god”?

      Which one of the thousands of deities is the “real god”?

      You miss the humor in the FSM, but since you want to make the argument you have…. Is it any more childish than believing in an invisible man in the sky who knocked up a teenage (underage) virgin, and caused her to give birth to a child who is his own father? A child who talks to himself, apparently, when he has discussions with his invisible, dear old dad? And you believe this because some inconsistent, unsubstantiated, and lie-filled book tells you this guy grew up and performed a few parlor tricks?

      Learn your religious history before you want to get up in arms over something done humorously. Jesus was mortal until the religious leaders decided they could grab hold of more power if they promoted him to a god. So they did. He was, at best, a common con man, running his own tiny little cult, and your invisible man in the clouds is nothing more than an antiquated, superstitious, imaginary friend.

    • Dana says:

      Jake!!!! Waaaa WAAAA….. need YOUR diaper changed? Are you REAL? REALLY! This is no more a religion than YOUR religion is a REAL RELIGION. Real Religion is an OXYMORON. You know, like Fun Exercise, Postal Service, Country Music…..
      The REAL god……shiver me friggin’ timbers matey….I’m shakin’ in me skivvies!!! OOH OOH!!! the REAL god…..oops pooped me
      one legged bell bottoms on the poop deck I be so friggin’ scared!
      PS there will be plenty o’ friggin in the riggin on MY pirate ship!!

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