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You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)

Published June 5th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

You are a fraud. It’s obvious to me that you don’t give a shit about you’re so-called religion. I am not even that christian but this site makes me sick. you have no right to start a religion or should i say cult.  People need to think for themselves they dont need to listen to your nonsense. I am not even that christian but at least they are trying to help people. What are you trying to do? make money and buy a pirate ship and fill it with strippers and beer?  That is the most stupid thing I ever heard. I hope the government shuts you down and takes you’re money. You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron.

Suck it,

Mike



1,155 Responses to “You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)”

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  1. Noodle Seeker says:

    I was disheartened but the original poster’s comments, cool tall ships CAN cost millions but don’t have to, a quick google turned up this useful link

    http://easternyachts.com/tallshipsforsale.htm then it’ll need fitting out, I think these good folks can help.

    http://www.cannonsuperstore.com/

    Any half decent evangelist TV show could raise the capitol in no time flat. But this isn’t what concerns me.

    I’m more concerned about the Somali Pirates. I’ve checked news groups and Youtube fairly carefully (ok, an hour or so last night while I was bored) and I have yet to find evidence of their raiders flying the FSM flag. Break away splinter group (all the best churches have them) or something more sinister? Their boats were also much too small and seemed to be totally lacking either strippers or beer. I suspect an outbreak of Brigham Young-ism.

    Yours in the sauce,

    Noodle Seeker

    • Reverend Captain Mal says:

      The Somali pirates an others of their ilk are not break away groups. As I’ve stated here previously, they can’t even really be considered pirates in the sense that we talk about pirates. They don’t wear the clothes, they don’t speak the language, and as you said, their boats are not adequate.

      No, they’re not a splinter group. They were never associated with the FSM.

    • violette says:

      OMG, the ship called Lav (Lion) is so cool. I think we need to get it for the FSM!

      • Len says:

        Lav (Lion) is indeed an excellent choice. Fill that with strippers and beer and I’m in.

    • OklahomaHoss says:

      That first link is undoubtedly the coolest thing I have ever seen.

  2. David says:

    Perhaps we should send missionaries there so we can teach them to wear the correct clothes and and ensure their vessels of worship are the correct type? I am happy to travel with the first shipment of beer and strippers to enure it arrives safely. rAMEN

    • jamie says:

      or we could just say they’re heretics and must be purged, for they only do it for money and not beer or strippers. rAMEN

  3. Semolina Seminarian says:

    Millions of what?

    Pieces of eight? Doubloons?

    • will says:

      he says that “they cost millions moron”. I think what he means by that is they cost millions of morons. Also, all pirate ships are stolen and, being stolen, are therefore free

    • Olio says:

      I vote for dubloons, whatever those are.

      • Keith says:

        In Australia we’d use the Holey Dollar and the Dump. They were the first official Australian currency and were derived from Spanish 8 peso coins I think (hence pieces of 8: I’m relying on Wikipedia here – sorry)

        • Olio says:

          Is the Holey Dollar for use on Sundays along with the Holey socks?

          Sorry. That was uncalled for.

        • Keith says:

          No: you are thinking of the Holey Moley.

  4. celeste says:

    YOUR*
    I am not ‘so called religion’ nor am I money.
    moron.

    suck it,
    celeste

  5. firm beliver in FSM says:

    excuse me, but christianity actually DOESN’T help people too much, they hate homosexuals, despise athiests, and especially hate our belief, we are simply choosing to believe in the most amazing and magical Speghetti Monster, yet some people just don’t understand like we do. We, as pastafarians, must stand together against menacing people such as said person who wrote this hate mail and show him the light! STAND TOGETHER AS PIRATES!

    • Olio says:

      Which people do that? Probably people can hate or help from any religion. Made of the same stuff on the inside, all of us.

  6. Flying Merkel says:

    True Muslims aren’t violent. True Christians turn the other cheek. The Somali pirates aren’t true pirates. True pirates talk like a Disneyland ride and are a lot of fun. They are respectful to strippers. They only kill those who really need to be killed. When killing is necessary, they do it in a fun & cool way.

    Suck that, moran.

  7. Alphy says:

    Hey,

    Lighten up and smarted up. And; for Poop’s sake, go take a long HOT enema!

  8. will says:

    it says “they cost millions moron” so, i think that he means that pirate ships cost millions of morons, but he’s wrong, all pirate ships are stolen, hence the pirate, and being stolen means that they’re effectively free

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