You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)

Published June 5th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

You are a fraud. It’s obvious to me that you don’t give a shit about you’re so-called religion. I am not even that christian but this site makes me sick. you have no right to start a religion or should i say cult.  People need to think for themselves they dont need to listen to your nonsense. I am not even that christian but at least they are trying to help people. What are you trying to do? make money and buy a pirate ship and fill it with strippers and beer?  That is the most stupid thing I ever heard. I hope the government shuts you down and takes you’re money. You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron.

Suck it,


1,187 Responses to “You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)”

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  1. Silas says:

    We are thinking for our selves…. why do you think this and or any religion was started?

    • SillyKiwiMan says:

      Most religions have been created to exert control over a population by purporting to have the answers to questions that seem to have no answer.

      Not ours, of course. Ours holds up a light with which to examine other faiths. It also doubles as romantic mood-lighting for those shared meals of spaghetti with one’s significant other.

  2. GonzoRoach says:

    I thought this letter was hilarious.”What are you trying to do? make money and buy a pirate ship and fill it with strippers and beer? That is the most stupid thing I ever heard” This is the best idea I’ve ever heard! Just thought that was funny.

  3. Andrew smithwick says:

    We’ll never have a pirate ship ? Christians built thousands of churches that cost plenty more than that. It’s not too hard! ( sorry if this offends anyone, it wasn’t intended )

  4. Excelsior says:

    It took the Christians thousands of years to build so many Churches. We will have even more pirate ships than that all over the solar system in a couple of centuries. After that we start building them on exoplanets to convert the extraterrestrials to Pastafarianism! Then we can thumb our noses at the other religions!

  5. Concerned Last thursdayist says:

    You people all make me sick…
    I kid, of course…
    To the point though, doesn’t everyone have a right to start a religion?
    And If you want someone to suck it I suggest a wife, life, stripper with std’s or all of the above.
    Don’t be sick or I’ll barf

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      If no person had a right to start a religion, there would BE none, now wouldn’t there?

      • Concerned Last thursdayist says:

        This is my point exactly,
        again please don’t suck it or i’ll barf
        Mr Bro (revised)

  6. The pasta preacher says:

    If we didn’t give a shit we wouldn’t be doing all of this now would we?
    We have every right to start a religion.
    Every religion could be viewed as a cult but we simply choose not to see it that way.
    We think for ourselves just as much as Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Christians and Jews.
    Hey, we love strippers and beer. They’re fun.
    Why would the government shut us down? We aren’t doing anything illegal or harmful so they have as much of a reason to shut us down as they do every other religion.
    All of us combined could generate billions of dollars so pirate ships are no problem to build.

  7. Brother Ray says:

    I just learned of this website/religion just today. (Yeah I was living in a hole somewhere).
    And after reading some of these Hate Mails…I just have to say…totally appreciated the laugh.
    And I would love to make a suggestion if you haven’t already thought of this: with some of the funds you
    Recieve from ordaining members of your “flock”…You NEED to buy (hell…even rent) a pirate ship and fill it with
    strippers and beer….get it on the news. That would be the fully monty of awesomeness.

    In fact…I think i will become an ordained member just to see this happen.

    • Keith says:

      I would happily volunteer to be a stripper but my airfare and visa would need to be paid for.

      • Christopher says:

        If we manage to fund a pirate ship, I’ll gladly volunteer myself as an onboard stripper… Granted, no one else is going to want to see me strip, but hey, details. ;-)

        • Keith says:

          Well, if anyone is happy to see me strip, I’m certain they’ll have room for you as well. I once saw a striptease in a pub in Amsterdam. The fellow was dressed as a fireman. He was very good and I daresay the same thing can be done in a pirate costume (minus the fire eating: we’d have to substitute it with spaghetti related activities). :-)

  8. Claude says:

    Well reading this i got a laugh the guy who originated this obviously didnt do any reading into our religion since the facts are we do do things for others and while yes pirate ships cost millions a single church in a small city costs more so its easily fesable the biggest difference is that we dont ask for donations or condem people for not donating so it takes us a little longer to get there but we are making our way

    Pastafatarian minister Claude

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