You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)

Published June 5th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

You are a fraud. It’s obvious to me that you don’t give a shit about you’re so-called religion. I am not even that christian but this site makes me sick. you have no right to start a religion or should i say cult.  People need to think for themselves they dont need to listen to your nonsense. I am not even that christian but at least they are trying to help people. What are you trying to do? make money and buy a pirate ship and fill it with strippers and beer?  That is the most stupid thing I ever heard. I hope the government shuts you down and takes you’re money. You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron.

Suck it,


1,279 Responses to “You will never have a pirate ship they cost millions moron (hate-mail)”

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  1. the sauceror says:

    check out svseeker on youtube. he is building one.

  2. Rasputin says:

    Dear the sauceror with lower case letters, can you please give yourself a new Pirate Name? It’s too easy to confuse you with The Sauceror.
    Maybe choose a name from the classical age of piracy. There are plenty more names from the Buybull. If I wasn’t already using my real name, I’d probably call myself Brian Griffin or Otto Mann or Wilma Flintstone or John Connor or Han Solo’s Smarter Brother. Such wonderful names will add fun to our blogs.
    There was a character in “Apocolypse Now” who said he’d been trained as a saucier. Maybe watch the movie and adopt his name.

  3. Shannon J says:

    I am not a member of FSM. Actually, I have no belief in any sort of anthropomorphic diety at all. I prefer to see the light within and respect others choices. I do , however, have a few points to make regarding your hate mail…

    1. He has EVERY right to start a religion as this is America.

    2. Agreed, people do need to think for themselves. Which happens to be the point of FSM.

    3. Again, as this is America, FSM is free to aspire to owning a pirate ship. As a gay man I have no desire to sail on a pirate ship filled with hot chicks. However a beer does sound good right about now.

    4. Exactly how christian do you have to be do good? I only ask because you claim to be “not that christian” and then tell the FSM to suck it. Decidedly unchristian.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Shannon J, sorry to disappoint you, but, most people do not live in America. I sail the waters of Far North Queensland. Did you know there is another side to this planet?
      You are perfectly free to have an entire crew of hot cabin-boys if you wish. It might give new meaning to the term: ‘splicing the main-brace’. My experience of gay pirates is they are the nicest of people, though ruthless in the galley, and their choice of ship’s colours is fantastic.

      • Rasputin says:

        Dear Shannon J, thanks for your message! Please come here more often.
        I don’t know if you’re aware, but at this moment the Anglican/Episcopalial Church is holding a grand summit about what to do about homosexuality in their church. Should gayness continue to be an abomination or should it receive full acceptance?
        I think the Christian church has no choice: The bible is perfectly clear, Christians an Jews must regard homosexuality as an abomination. In the words of a Monty Python sketch, “God hates poofs”.
        To do otherwise is equivalent to accepting meat-eaters into the Vegetarian Society.
        Fortunately there is an alternative.
        Here in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, we don’t care whether anybody is gay, bi, transgender or all three and several others. Judaism, Christianity and Islam are stupid religions based upon ancient mythology and I don’t believe any of their crap.
        Here’s an example: How many times are kangaroos mentioned in the bible? Not once. Which shows the people who wrote the bible knew f*ck all about the world.
        Pastafarians don’t care whether you’re f*cking someone of your own sex, and that’s how it should be. Just ensure it’s among consenting adults, and try not to do it in the streets because you’ll distract motorists.
        Ramen brother, and don’t forget to shout “Aaarrgghh!” as you climax.

      • cobalt says:

        Maybe that’s why our church is a pirate ship, Nothing about religion is mentioned in maritime law ( At least I don’t think so)

        • Rasputin says:

          Ramen, Cobalt.

    • cobalt says:

      It doesn’t say the specific sex of the strippers, kinds like islam and their 72 virgins. So the FSM heaven probably has male strippers too.

      That guy

      • Rasputin says:

        All of us can volunteer as strippers on an equal opportunity basis. Strippers of every colour, creed, sex and kink. Our strength is in our variety!

  4. cobalt says:

    If Mike ever read our book he would know that
    a)We aren’t a cult, and
    b)FSMism is a non-dogmatic religion
    But i guess words like “dogmatic” are too big for his tiny ass-brain

  5. noodle christ says:

    actually i believe far more people have been killed in the name of god than helped. that in no way lessens the kindness of those people who do help others. the fact, however, still remains.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Noodle Christ, I believe your facts are correct. This may be related to the disturbing information that pirates collect about $0.5 Billion in ‘donations’ per year, whereas, insurance companies net $4.5 Billion in premiums and private security companies take a further $1.5 Billion.
      It is quite clear who the real pirates are and how much THEY need US!

  6. ippi says:

    To the author Mike,Don’t you know all religions are cults,they are all started by man and they discourage people thinking for themselves you idiot,if people thought for themselves they wouldn’t need some cult to do it for them.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      ippi, “God is man worshiping himself.”

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