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His awesome petulance, a tornado sighting

Published June 4th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

Tornado Crossing Countryside

If one looks closely, one can see the mighty Flying Spaghetti Monster controlling the forces of nature in His awesome petulance.

-Doug

Here’s some more evidence I suspect to be fake.  Created by a competing religion to make us look bad, perhaps.  The FSM is not a force of destruction, as far as I know.

Note — I got a few emails about this from people who feel the post is not funny because people died in the tornadoes. I agree, but the purpose wasn’t just to make a joke, the post was (supposed to be) directed at a theme in religion we find tasteless: the inclination of mainstream religious leaders to attribute natural disasters as the work of God – i.e. blame the victim.



50 Responses to “His awesome petulance, a tornado sighting”

  1. TiltedHorizon says:

    I hate it when the truth is taken out of context. The FSM would never harm! Obviously, he is steering the path of the tornado away from people with one noodly appendage, repairing any damage with another, and simultaneously providing a counter rotation at the base of the tornado to dissipate it.

    Oh FSM, you truly are great.

    Ramen.

    • Doug Morgan says:

      I can feel His Awesomness whispering in my ear, “TiltedHorizon nailed it.”

    • stylusmobilus says:

      Yes, that is what it must be. We certainly cannot doubt His Noodlyness’ ability to tamper with the weather!

      • Doug Morgan says:

        Absolutely. When on a journey of Faith, the greatest obstacle is Doubt. We must be remember that questioning is the purview of the heathen. PBFSM

        • stylusmobilus says:

          And the FSM said, ‘let thee be faithful to your journey, for you will not be here and I may visit your wives and raid your bar fridges’….

        • Justin (FSM fearing pastafarian) says:

          Noodle: 12: 1-13

          “Blessed are those who blindly follow me because there parents indoctrinated them to do so, for they will inherit the pasta filled paradise.”

  2. Big Guy says:

    when one of these tornado’s visits you ask you dead and buried at sea fsm aka bin Laden for salvation from the 300 mile per hour winds. Gods mighty breath will sweep you pathetic atheists from the face of the earth and into hell where you belong.

    • Big Guy says:

      Which must be why a large section of the bible belt is also in tornado ally. The Lard is sweeping pathetic all the christians from the face of the earth and into hell where they belong.

      • Big Guy says:

        And those 300 mph winds are his breath. Pray that He doesn’t fart and generate 2,000 mph winds. Since we are created in His image, we know that He too must generate odious gas in His intestinal tract, but on an infinite scale, of course. That gives a whole new meaning to the euphemism:”breaking wind.”

        • Bigger Guy says:

          R’Amen

    • StJason says:

      Please do not feed the troll.

  3. Big Guy says:

    This further evidence the fsm aka bin laden is dead and buried at sea.

    • Doug Morgan says:

      Ouch! Now you’re just being mean!

      • tekHedd says:

        i’ll always wonder what he said.

        • Doug Morgan says:

          @tekHedd: Not that you’re missing much, but you can always click the “Click here to see” link to the right of “Hidden…” Personally, I don’t dispense negative ratings anymore now that I know if causes people’s ignorance to be hidden under a bushel basket. I say let it shine in all its glory that we may all revel in its absurdity and entertainment value.

    • Big Guy says:

      This is further evidence that I have the I.Q. of a revolving door and the depth of a magic eight-ball. Shake my head and see the genius which flows out:

      *shake*

      fsm aka bin laden is dead and buried at sea.

      *shake*

      May the Lard forgive your blaspheme.

      *shake*

      fsm aka bin laden is dead and buried at sea.

      See, I am a genius.

      • Big Guy says:

        i am also a mean son-of-a-bitch and i have threatened physical violence to several of you pastafarian atheist bastards. In two cases, i have threatened death. This is not an exaggeration and it is no idol thret. i am bat-shit crazy enough to harm people if i get a chance.

        (As a clone, i am reporting my observation that Big Guy is certifiably nuts and capable of harming others. Please Bobby or the Google Police, block him from further posting on this site.)

        • Bigger Guy says:

          Indeed, he’s really just a pain in the arse – this I just gloss over, especially when it’s in typefont on this webpage.

          However, his personal inability (regardless of faith, honestly) to produce thought-provoking or intelligent debate or discussion is proving to be quite boring. I believe he mentioned his IQ was around 140 (just to “ball-park” it. I believe this is a stretch. Preceding the following statement which purely addresses his capabilities as an annoying human being, regardless of faith or biblical subservience, I’m hereby concluding that that IQ test was self-administered, self-scored, self-adjusted (if the instruction manual wasn’t tossed on the floor). Tragically, It would seem that the Biggie himself has embraced these ballooned results and raced out the door to plaster them on all who disagree.

          Quite sad? yes :) Even better though, religion is NOT MENTIONED in the above post. Thanks Big Guy for your quintessentially astute propositions regarding this faith you hold. Hold it dearly, tightly, and close to your heart, and wander back to your chosen institution that requires you to check your artificially inflated IQ at the door – along with those raser-sharp reasoning skills.

          His Noodliness wants us to think, debate, create, and analyze for ourselves. Unfortunately, your faculties, however scarce, are still hanging with your money from that special place’s door frame. Stay there, enjoy it, enlighten them further, rock on, and keep those puerile, inane comments saved up in that little refrigerable container you must keep that includes your grilled cheesus.

          This is a big-people forum, for big-people discussion, where incessant repetition is falling by the wayside. We (members of the CoFSM) generally enjoy thought-sparking conversation that reflects our need for unbiased discussion without the nagging precedence of dogma.

          Read the “About” tab, again, and again if need be, and again,

          Bigger Guy

  4. TheIcemaker says:

    I would like to point out his noodly goodness is clearing away timber for loyal pasta Arians to make pirate ships with and is not harming any of his creations.(arguably trees are his creations but in reality they were made entirely for shipbuilding so ha)

  5. Little Timmy says:

    Why would anyone try to blame a tornado on the fsm? D: Fsm is a kind and delicious being who rewards good little pirates with his noodly goodness, don’t hate fsm, love fsm
    Fsm bless us, everyone
    -Little Timmy

    • Justin (FSM fearing pastafarian) says:

      Please remember that his noodliness is all powerful, he creates everything in the Universe. However, the people destroyed in tornadoes are the godless who do not fear FSM, so although it may look evil, please remember that these people had it coming.
      The evidence of FSM is all around us, repent, and do not reject him or else a billion tetrahillion kajillion years in the boiling pits of hell.
      Praise FSM who is ever so merciful.

  6. Wet noodle says:

    For all the people who believe that a flying pile of wet noodles is god then I say show him to me so that I may devour him on the spot, I’ll even bring my own parmasian and butter

    • SillyKiwiMan says:

      What’s a “parmasian”? Is it an parmigiana inspired by the Orient? Instead of a rich neapolitan sauce there’s something involving soy or black bean?

      Parmesan in all its forms is blessed, it is only spaghetti in a can that is an abomination.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      For all the people who believe they can convert bread into a god, show me, that I may devour him on the spot. I’ll even bring my own wine.

      • Keith says:

        I convert bread into faeces. Needless to say, I don’t worship faeces.

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