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Is it time for an FSM billboard?

Published June 7th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

billboard2Can you picture it?  It could be amazing, if we do it right.  I’ve mentioned it before and had mixed responses.  Here are my thoughts:

It can’t be negative.  As an example, I was not a fan of the You Know It’s A Myth banners put up by the American Atheists.  

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I am in favor of the AA’s substantive causes but I found this billboard campaign smug and petty (I feel the same about campaigns to remove Christmas trees from public venues). 

The high road.  If we put up a billboard, it must be a positive message – it must promote us and our ideals, not attack another group.  Satire and nonsense are great, attacking Christianity is boring and counter-productive.  I have no problem slamming Cthulhu and/or the IPU (She is in my drawing, also btw).

Send me your ideas/drawings. I’ll post them here. What would make a good billboard?  A pirate ship “full of beer and strippers”?  That might be interesting.  It’s been a while since I’ve seen a drawing of the Beer Volcano.  Send your submissions to me and we can decide what would look best.  We’ll worry about paying for the billboard space next.

Submissions (so far):

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#1.  See the World, by Doug.

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#1(b). Have you been touched, by Doug.

 

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#2. Try Pasta, by Jo (Cardinal Fang)

 

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#3. Touching, by Dan.

 

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#4.  Teaching our children the truth, by Wayne.

 

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#5.  Try FSM, by Kelly.

 

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#6.  Main course for the soul, by Younger.

 

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#7.  Two designs, by Doug.

 

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#8.  I’d really rather you didn’t, by Jeffrey.



346 Responses to “Is it time for an FSM billboard?”

  1. Ronster says:

    What message are you trying to convey? If you are trying to convince people that intelligent design, or any other religious concept has no place in a science curriculum, then the designs presented don’t cut it. If you are just trying to draw attention to your site, them maybe they are OK. If this is just a fun thing to do with some spare money, then pick the wildest one with the least verbage.

    I don’t mean to rain on anyone’s parade, but this site does have a legitimate purpose and it’s not to promote the gospel of the FSM. Call me a heathen if you want to, but I taught college science classes for 7 years and this is an issue that I can relate to. Luckily I didn’t teach in the bible belt or in the south.

    • Jack says:

      Blasphemy! Stone him!

      jk

    • Doug Morgan says:

      Ronster -
      How about the “It’s time to bring back TRUTH” mock-up at http://www.doug-morgan.com/Billboard/?

      • tekHedd says:

        I like this one a lot, even though it doesn’t feature Him.

      • Ronster says:

        Doug, the “It’s time to bring back Truth” one is good. It has a message, it’s not overly silly and it is short and to the point. Don’t get me wrong, there is a time for being silly, I’m all for it, but if the goal is to get the message across to keep mythology out of the science classroom, go with one that shows a semi-serious side.

        Please don’t stone me, that’s the punishment that radical muslims are so fond of. If you want to bury me under a pile of warm lasagna though, go for it. I’ll eat my way out.

    • Pastor di Semola de Grano Duro says:

      I think we just want to recruit more followers to the Church.

  2. Encyclodpedia Brit says:

    @Ronster,

    Exactly, we do have a site and a following that isn’t designed to promote or denigrate religion. We are here to fight back against religion being taught as science! So, we really want to have a slogan (whether its satirical or not) that will promote that cause.

    @I’m Brian and so’s my wife,

    Its not that the Athiest billboards were bad, (although I would argue they meant to be mean), its that not everyone here believes religion is a farce, or that its wrong for someone to believe in it, but thats its wrong to teach religion in school and call it Science.

    I’m all for promoting us as a group of intelligent people who are genuinely concerned about the curriculum in our public schools.

    xo
    Brit

    • I'm Brian and so's my wife. says:

      Oh come on Brit, that’s bollocks. :-)

      Bobby’s motivation for FSM was to keep religion out of the science classroom, and for sure, that’s still a key aim, but he could have done that with existing reductio ad absurdum arguments such as the Invisible Pink Unicorn or Russell’s Teapot. Instead he chose to create a wonderful parody religion, complete with afterlife, creation myths, miracle sightings etc. The message here is quite clearly not simply “Religion has no place in our science curriculum”, it’s “Religion has no place in our science curriculum – and it’s really silly.” Quite frankly, if you don’t believe that religion is a farce, you’re in the wrong place.

      • Encyclodpedia Brit says:

        @ I’m Brian and so’s my wife
        I think that there are several people on here that don’t believe religion is a farce and appreciate it while still being able to appreciate the whole FSM universe. I appreciate what religion does for my family and friends who think they need religion to make their lives better, I would never want to take that hope away from them. (Yes, I do think slightly less of them, but its their choice.)

        @tekHedd
        Sometimes the truth does hurt but we don’t have to rub noses in it. I just want it to be tasteful, thats all. I have a lot of friends who are Christian and willing to listen to reason as long as they don’t feel I’m attacking their beliefs personally. Thats all I’m saying.

        • I'm Brian and so's my wife. says:

          Personally, I think being willing to listen to reason while remaining Christian are mutually exclusive, but maybe that’s just me.

          I also think you seem to be missing the point of FSM just a little. The FSM universe, as you put it, is deliberately farcical. It’s a parody of sincere religions, not a sincere religion itself. To appreciate the FSM universe you HAVE to believe religion is a farce or you really don’t appreciate it at all. You misunderstand it. It’s only funny, if you can see WHY it’s funny.

          As far as religion making people feel better goes, who said anything about taking it away from them? Astrology makes people feel better. Carrying around lucky charms makes people feel better. We can still point out that both things are stupid without forcing people to give them up, but I’m not going to go around pretending I respect religious beliefs simply so that some people can maintain a delusion that makes them feel better.

          If they see for themselves, as a result of satire, that they are being dumb and voluntarily give it up, then that’s great. If not, as you say, it’s their choice, but I also think slightly less of them.

    • tekHedd says:

      Meant to be mean? Sometimes the truth hurts. Do you think Christians are setting out to offend atheists when they say “He is risen” or “Jesus Saves”? So why is an atheist billboard saying “relax, there is no hell” different?

      “People have been conditioned by the lie of multiculturalism to believe that what they should think is more important than what they do think.” Applies to most forms of political correctness, really.

  3. AL says:

    Does anyone know where “Big Guy” is hiding? He threatened me with physical harm, and now he’s nowhere to be found. I reported his threats to the local police, maybe they arrested him. Come on, you perverted freak, if you want to go mano-a-mano as you said, show yourself.

    Al

    • dontencourageblisterfingers says:

      Don’t encourage blister fingers…

  4. Mird says:

    When’s the deadline for the designs to be in for? I’m a junior graphic designer/photo-manipulator/etc so I’ll take a stab if there’s still time left.

    • Doug Morgan says:

      This may be one of those miracle projects with no deadline. I’m sure Prophet Bobby will fill in that blank at some point.

      Question: Do you have any guidance regarding image size & resolution for billboard images? Having never worked on a billboard project, I imagined an enormous dimension at 300dpi. Now I’m finding that billboard image resolution is in the 10-20dpi range. Does that mean 10dpi for an image size of 14′ x 48′? Others on the Internet stated that as long as the final image, when printed on a standard, hand-holdable sheet of paper looks sharp, then that is all you need given the distance as which billboards are viewed. I’ve been working in 12000p x 3500p x 300ppi which I can now see is overkill. I look forward to your submission(s). RAmen.

      • Mird says:

        Honestly, I’ve never worked on a billboard project either. But I have some ideas on how it’d go — pretty similar to yours!

        Like I say, I’ll have a stab at it — possibly over the weekend.

        RAmen.

        • Doug Morgan says:

          Jay Schmidt has some great graphics production info on further down which I wish I had had before I started. RAmen and thanks, Jay Schmidt!

  5. Deeptracks says:

    A Picture of a toddler happily eating pasta with his hands grinning manically with the word BELIEVER next to it. Put the url somewhere and done

  6. lolhoofd says:

    hypothetically speaking (or typing),
    howbad woud the ” http://www.venganza.org/2010/05/hentai-style/ ” be as billbord?

    or maybe good advertisement

    • Adrian D. says:

      While it would be funny, such an image could be quite offensive to some people if displayed on a billboard.

      • Brian Fritzen says:

        It is high time people were offended. Just look at the state of education in the USA! And I am not talking about the teachers: I am referring to all the decisions being made by people who do not spend one minute in the classroom. Cases in point: Kansas BOE, Texas BOE removing Thomas Edison, Thomas Jefferson, and the word “Democracy” from the Social Studies Curriculum, Mississippi removing decimals from Math….. it goes on and on and on.

        Can you imagine if science teachers started to act like these religious types? Offensive? It is time we got angry. I have heard too much of this: “get offended” bullshit. I AM OFFENDED. GET THEIR FSMdamned RELIGION OUT OF MY and MY Children’s education! For fuck’s sake. There is a religious war on learning and free thinking. And we just sit here and take it. One of my best students academically behaviorally actually does not think evolution is true. He doesn’t believe it because that is what he has been taught at home and in church. I predict he will have a crisis of faith and learn the truth eventually (he is only 14), but what a WASTE of brainpower.! What a WASTE of intelligence! And WHY? Because of RELIGION (not faith) RELIGION!

        Get off it. It is time that we were offended by what these people are doing to the future of the human race. It is time we were offended by what these people are doing to the future of education.

        Is it any wonder why the most atheistic countries have the BEST educational systems in the world (see Finland.)?

        I am offended.

        • Brian Fritzen says:

          Sorry. I misspoke: Finland is growing nonreligious and in that same time period gaining ground in education.

        • Randy says:

          Well said, Sir! Very well said!

          Oh, and check this out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdQzpqbZ3Po
          Its funny, but (sadly) not too far from the truth.

        • Drained and Washed Clean says:

          I am a teacher as well, and I put it out there every time I can that not everyone believes in a/your god, not everyone thinks like you do, and telling them they have to be ok with it. It was amazing to me that there were multiple children who looked at me like I had 6 heads when I said some believe there is no god. They had no idea the possibility existed. So sad… So brainwashed at a young age.

        • Noodles Of Oodles says:

          I understand entirely. I worked for several years as a high school/ college level biology tutor and as a teacher for homeschooled kids (yeah, the rich crazies pull their kids out of public school and then peddle them out to private learning centers- read: tutoring centers- for private instruction via someone who likely does not have a teaching certificate all so they can control what they learn… but I digress.) and I never ceased to be amazed when a child would look at me like I was telling them aliens had abducted my mom and I was the product of their interspecies extraterrestrial lovefest whenever I mentioned evolution. Some were fine with it. I don’t know what they believed, but they kept their mouths shut about any discrepancies between what I taught and what their beliefs might have been and dutifully learned what needed to be taught, which is all I think any of us can really ask for. The problem for me came when I encountered a homeschooled/private schooled 10th grader whom I was to teach biology. 1/5 of the way in, I start talking about evolution and she just stares at me blankly like I’m a moron while I go on for several minutes. Finally, I asked her if she was understanding the basics of the unit we were going to cover, and she very hesitantly told me that she thought evolution was “just a myth.” A MYTH. Not a theory, not unproven, not even bad science. A MYTH. I didn’t even know what to respond to that. When I could pick my jaw up off of the floor, I informed her that, no, it is not a MYTH, it is the leading theory on how life on Earth came to be the way it is today and that there is quite a bit of evidence for it. I also told her that it would be an important part of any science course in the future, so it was important that she learned about it and understood it. I had a lengthy talk with the center director after that about what to actually teach this girl, since I was bound by no rules other than what the parents instructed me to teach her. Although I had a pretty good idea what these parents wanted, I couldn’t conscionably just ignore it. So I taught her the basics, didn’t force it down her throat, and told her that it was important for her education. I thought that was enough that the parents wouldn’t lose it over it. Apparently I was wrong since she mysteriously needed a different tutor shortly thereafter. Ah well, I tried. While I can certainly appreciate that this may have conflicted with their personal belief system (whether or not that belief system has any merit when compared to evidence based science), I stressed to her that the important thing was that she would need this information in order to progress farther in science courses in high school and college. I guess protecting their 16 year old daughter from freely available information was more important than the future of her education, though. I have no problem with people who keep their own beliefs. I do have a problem when people choose ignorance because of their beliefs. Don’t believe in evolution? That’s your problem. As long as you learn it anyways, I don’t care. I think it’s ignorant to ignore evidence, and I think it’s a bit unbelievable to be able to ignore reality like that, but to each their own. Just learn it, let your kids learn it, and keep on believing that birds and dinosaurs have no relation because they sprang up fully formed individually. Oh wait, dinosaurs didn’t exist to half of you, right? As long as you can tell me that scientists believe such and such and keep your mouth shut about your own opinions until you’re with your own. The idea that they could feed impressionable kids more crap that their religious ideals are reality is ludicrous. We don’t teach Ancient Alien Theory in history, why would we teach Intelligent Design in science?

          Le sigh. Sorry, giant rant over. My inner teacher goes a little berserk over this, and my inner biologist loses her freaking mind.

  7. Robin K. says:

    Maybe Sarah Palin has some ideas for this…She likes to recreate history??

    • opiesysco says:

      Why bring politics into this?

      • tekHedd says:

        What does Sarah Palin have to do with politics?

        • stylusmobilus says:

          *spits coffee

        • Vicki says:

          I too am cleaning the spray off my monitor.

      • I'm Brian and so's my wife. says:

        Like it or not, the teaching of creationism in public schools IS a political issue in the US and Sarah Palin is the poster child for the religious conservative movement that advocates it.

        • opiesysco says:

          I get that. But, this post is about His Noodlyness going on a billboard.
          Not about how dumb or smart (most likely dumb) some assclown politician is.

  8. Jay Schmidt says:

    Hi everyone!

    When you are ready to actually get your billboard in front of people, please give me a call and I can help out. I place billboards all over the country so I can help you in any city / market where you want to advertise your message. I have worked with both the Ohio Humanists and the Freedom From Religion Foundation as a billboard project manager in Columbus, Ohio.

    The website of our company:

    http://www.matrixmediaservices.com 800-589-6674

    twitter: @Jay_D_Schmidt

    • stylusmobilus says:

      Brilliant, we even have the resources to get the thing handy. It’s clear, we have far more multivitamins and minerals in our Monster than any other!

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