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Is it time for an FSM billboard?

Published June 7th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

billboard2Can you picture it?  It could be amazing, if we do it right.  I’ve mentioned it before and had mixed responses.  Here are my thoughts:

It can’t be negative.  As an example, I was not a fan of the You Know It’s A Myth banners put up by the American Atheists.  

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I am in favor of the AA’s substantive causes but I found this billboard campaign smug and petty (I feel the same about campaigns to remove Christmas trees from public venues). 

The high road.  If we put up a billboard, it must be a positive message – it must promote us and our ideals, not attack another group.  Satire and nonsense are great, attacking Christianity is boring and counter-productive.  I have no problem slamming Cthulhu and/or the IPU (She is in my drawing, also btw).

Send me your ideas/drawings. I’ll post them here. What would make a good billboard?  A pirate ship “full of beer and strippers”?  That might be interesting.  It’s been a while since I’ve seen a drawing of the Beer Volcano.  Send your submissions to me and we can decide what would look best.  We’ll worry about paying for the billboard space next.

Submissions (so far):

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#1.  See the World, by Doug.

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#1(b). Have you been touched, by Doug.

 

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#2. Try Pasta, by Jo (Cardinal Fang)

 

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#3. Touching, by Dan.

 

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#4.  Teaching our children the truth, by Wayne.

 

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#5.  Try FSM, by Kelly.

 

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#6.  Main course for the soul, by Younger.

 

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#7.  Two designs, by Doug.

 

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#8.  I’d really rather you didn’t, by Jeffrey.



347 Responses to “Is it time for an FSM billboard?”

  1. Doug Morgan says:

    Here’s a first pass at a background graphic. Of course, everything at this point is only a placeholder.

    http://www.doug-morgan.com/billboard/Billboard_WebVersion.jpg

    Now I have to go do some PAYING work…

    • Randy says:

      I like how His Noodlyness reflects off of the water!

      I think I speak for everyone (or perhaps just myself) when I say I think it is the FSM’s “will” that the Doug be in charge of the art work!

      • Doug Morgan says:

        May His Holy Noodly Goodness grace you always, Randy, but (1) I think it is too early in the process for a decision regarding graphic resources, and (2) I have not the skills, software, or the compute power to create an image that would be suitable for this usage. The best I can do is join with other designers and artists to create a mock-up based on feedback from others and, of course, the divine vision of our Prophet, Bobby. But I am REALLY looking forward to what others in our creative community of Pastafarians submit. RAmen.

    • chadachada123 says:

      I vote for this ad. It’s fantastic.

    • Doug Morgan says:

      New URL: http://www.doug-morgan.com/Billboard/

  2. Brian Fritzen says:

    I have two ideas. We use the image of the FSM as provided by the sight with one of the first two I’d rather you didn’ts.
    THE EIGHT I’D REALLY RATHER YOU DIDN’TS

    I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Act Like A Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don’t Believe In Me, That’s Okay. Really, I’m Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn’t About Them So Don’t Change The Subject.
    I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjigate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Dont Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.

    • Brian Fritzen says:

      Or maybe a play on the “Think Globally, Act Locally” Billboards:

      “Help Fight Global Warming: Stay Home on Sundays and Become a Pirate.. Learn How @ http://www.venganza.org

    • Hucklesberries says:

      Oooooo, that’s goooooood!

    • Ubi Dubium says:

      Good, but way too long for a billboard. Better for bookmarks and other propaganda materials. Bilboards have to be short and catchy.

  3. Inda says:

    I’d be tempted just to use the pirate bone fish (http://www.venganza.org/images/jollyfishth.jpg) with FSM in big funking letters next to it. And I don’t use either of these, but I have a feeling that a few people do – A Twitter tag and Facebook name needs to go underneath, or even a simple Google “FSM” instruction, as this site is the first result.

    People don’t read billboards; they’re either driving too fast or they’re playing gas-brake-gas-brake in a jam. The fewer the words, the better.

    Or

    “I’ll touch you for ten bucks”

    “I’ve touched you this morning”

    “I touch your children while they slee..

    …careful Inda!

  4. 2ndClassMN says:

    As a gay man, I can assure you that I have been touched by more than one noodly appendage…

    • Fussilier says:

      Lol brilliant :)

    • Mike says:

      Not too noodly, I hope…

    • raviolution says:

      and all with a pair of big meaty balls i presume!! sauce optional.

  5. Omnipotent Zombie says:

    How about FSM billboards, each with one of the eight “I really rather you didn’t”s written on it; or verses from the Book of Suggestions? Their wittiness alone will gain the attention many curious people.
    Or for maximum pirate effectiveness, let’s say we go all out and hire Geoffery Rush dressed as Captain Barbosa for the billboards?

  6. MrIncognito says:

    I prefer a simpler message. Perhaps a picture of a communion cracker next to a plate of delicious pasta with meatballs that simply says, “If you’re going to eat your savior in effigy, he may as well be delicious.”

    Then list our CV as suggested by Pastor di Semola de Grano Duro:

    1. Over $600,000 in Kiva Loans to businesses in developing countries
    2. Combating global warming through piracy
    3. Happily occupying 1/4 of the USDA food plate

    and listing the website.

  7. Gnostradamus says:

    Most jurisdictions that have set up Christian displays (and they’re invariably Christian) blow up when non-theists try to put up their own. I don’t understand how someone who created a satire of public teaching of religion in science classes can dismiss challenges to those displays as being petty.

  8. Doug Morgan says:

    To reiterate what Dan said, whatever text is chosen for the billboard, we must guided by the design principle: KISS “Keep It Simple Stupid” (or if you prefer, “Keep It Short and Simple”). People must be able to read it while driving by in their car AND be able to remember something very simple about it that will enable that person to find out more information when they get to where they are going. It would be really nice if we had a website like “www.FSN.org” (which may or maynot be available). I think that would be easier to remember than “www.venganza.org”. May the FSM guide us in our good works.

    • Mr. A says:

      I’d have to agree. I really like the suggestions put forth by Brian Fritzen and others concerning the text, but people may not have time to read one of the I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts while zipping by on the freeway. I’d keep the text simple and slogan-like, and make sure that the URL is prominently featured–that’s the most important text for people to read.

      BTW, how much does it cost to put up a billboard? I’d bet that a lot of us who have no design skills would contribute to defraying some of the cost. I know I would.

    • Pastor di Semola de Grano Duro says:

      That is the premise I ended up working with. I wanted to put the other things on mine but I realized that a driver wouldn’t be able to read it or would maybe have a crash doing so.

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