1220226 Views
1,836 Comments

I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)

Published June 14th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

I spent a while thinking of a good reply to this, without sounding like some sort of inbred hick or perhaps maybe to get your attention. However, I realize that there pretty much is no way for that to happen, if you put this in your hate-mail section, I’ll probably be mocked just as much as the next guy, who put the stupid comment about how you could never buy a pirate ship. I’m OK with that, I just wish people will actually think about what I have to say rather then ignorantly mocking what I believe personally. Whatever may happen, I don’t really mind, except that I cannot bring myself to be silent on this issue.

I am a Christian, whatever you may think about me, or absurd assumptions you may have about what I look like, think like, or speak like, realize this, I think all beliefs should be treated with equality. Atheism, Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Agonist, Voodoo, whatever, I don’t care, if you believe that you are correct, then you have every right in the world to believe that with all your heart, and nobody should force you to believe what they believe. Now I also believe in open criticism of any of these religions, meaning your Pastafarian view that openly mocks religion. However, it is also my right to criticize the criticism, meaning though while I believe it is your right to mock, harass, and generally make religious persons miserable, I don’t believe it is morally right.

Atheism is a belief just as much as Christianity. Say whatever you want about facts and how religion is stupid and all those who practice it are all idiots, but it still comes down to the fundamental truth that you must believe this to be more true over the other option. I am again, completely fine with that, and that is why I love America so much, because we CAN believe differently then one another, and still live peacefully (to a degree) together. However, mocking is not the right way to go about arguing your belief.
By the way, here is the definition of mocking:

1. Tease or laugh at in a scornful or contemptuous manner.

2. Make (something) seem laughably unreal or impossible.

To laugh at someone else’s belief that they dedicate their lives to is not funny or humorous, but I believe is rather childish and immature. This is the main reason why I would much rather sit down calmly with an atheist and have a rational discussion about each other’s beliefs, instead of smacking them in the face with a bible, and shouting how they are going to hell for not believing the undeniable truth that is the bible, or worse, calling their belief idiotic and getting my group of friends together and laughing and pointing in his face.

Of course there are people that do this, hence, you, and there will always be people like you. My job is try to convince you to be rational and discuss each others view points.

I could never put myself in your mindset and read this the same way through your eyes. To you, I just look like another idiot who took this seriously and decided to write a concerned letter and waste his time trying to teach you to be respectful, but the truth is, writing this helps me put my thoughts in order anyways.

If you do have one ounce of thought for my beliefs, at least view this letter with respect, and try to think about what I am thinking when I read this:

http://www.globalone.tv/forum/topics/student-punished-for-spaghetti?groupUrl=flyingspaghettimonster

What I am thinking is that the joke has gone to far. Of course this letter asks for intelligent discussion, and that seems to have never existed in your website, so before I go, let my put it in your language.

Fuck you, and lay off religion asshole.

Sincerely,
Austin



1,836 Responses to “I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)”

1 9 10 11 12 13 66
  1. Big Guy says:

    Leave R.A. alone you pathetic atheist moron Christian haters.

    Welcome to hell on the web R.A. I’ve been fighting the good fight but it’s a burn against these haters. They are entrenched in there salacious ideologies. But the good news is a Christian warrior will not quit and winning is everything to me…

    salvation is at hand for those who chose God hell and damnation for the fsm aka bin Laden whose dead and buried at sea.

    • Big Guy says:

      Hy.

      Mi nayme iz Bug Goy andi eye yam uh trull. Eye half nusink batter 2 doo-doo thin trull these sight. Eye yam de winingest trull every. Mi Dog iz de ownlee troo Dog andi u willie awl barn inn hail 4 macking phun uv mee.

      Eye wesh eye wuz wit Ben Ladder onde buttum uv de see.

      Eye hayte mi lyfe.

      • Big Guy says:

        Chindean EH?

    • Big Guy says:

      I majored in religious studies and have a 140 IQ which means I am smart enough to know there is no god, this is why I continuously offer up nothing in the way of logical arguments to back up my claims. (cause there are none). Instead I’ll continue to do drive-by posts using nonsensical babble, constructed from random thoughts and other peoples ideas in the vain hopes to confuse them until someone like you can help me…..

      please help me…..

      my cut & paste fingers are tired

      please…

      help….

      BTW. the fsm aka bin Laden is dead and buried at sea. get over it.

      • Big Guy says:

        Surry. Thet lest lyne shood reed ‘duh fsm ack Ben Ladder iz ded andi BERRIED et see’. Eye big furgifnes 4 duh incornveenyense.

      • Big Guy says:

        smart enough to know a coward ass hole when I read one

        • Big Guy says:

          Eye dunt lyke et wen u mayke fon uf mee. Eye yam reapording u 2 duh Googull Puleeze.

        • Big Guy says:

          Which must mean everyone who has been calling me an a-hole for months now were actually must pretty smart.

          Winning
          Whining
          Wanking

        • Big Guy says:

          The three W’s of my existence.

          The One-And-Only Big Guy

    • Midnight Rider says:

      I’m not pathetic, I’m odious! Get it right. :)

      • Big Guy says:

        Awwww! I used to be odious, now I’m just salacious. :(

    • Big Guy says:

      I love being a Christian warrior, it let’s me put on my Xena warrior princess costume (it really accentuates my man-boobs) That Lucy Lawless hag can’t hold a candle to me!

      Winning

      • Spammyboy says:

        You misspelled ‘wining’

  2. Big Guy says:

    It’s Bobby who doesn’t play fair Big Guy impostor @ 10:14 PM & 10:26PM

    he allows you to freely impersonate me then after I start posting he pulls the plug and I have to wait for you fools to catch up .

    • Big Guy says:

      Eye yam duh whiningist bugguy! Rezpect mee!

      • Big Guy says:

        EH chindean don cross the river man

  3. Big Guy says:

    impostor and your retarded kin are you not going to send my 9:06 PM post tonight to gray purgatory?
    I dare you to let it stand???

    • Big Guy says:

      Iph u dont mayke mee graye, eye willi putt whyte-owt onn mi screenz ant grayze mice-elf.

      • Big Guy says:

        have another & good night

        • Big Guy says:

          Have another. And another. And another. (nevermind me, that’s just pillow talk between me and my yankable crank) come’ear! Whose your daddy? Have another!

  4. Big Guy says:

    winning

    • Big Guy says:

      whining

    • tekhedd says:

      self-delusion

  5. Big Guy says:

    Now for some jokes…

    What’s the difference between a priest and a pimple?
    A pimple waits until you’re 13 before coming on your face.

    What do you give a pedophile who has everything?
    A bigger parish.

    What’s the difference between real Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
    It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

    How many fundamentalists does it take to change a lightbulb?
    None. God made lighbulbs. Every photon is infallible. Changing them would be a sin. And they only burn out because of your sinful nature.

    • some_guy5 says:

      Reading one, I thought I was going to guess the punchline. I got it wrong but now I feel like the joke needs to be out there.

      What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
      A picture of Jesus is real.

    • Big Guy says:

      again google joke book paste & copy how odious

      • wulff says:

        Eye yam duh troo funnee bugguy. Pul mi feengr.

  6. Big Guy says:

    MORE ORIGINAL BIG GUY HUMOR

    As i have informed you several times, bin Laden is dead and his odious mortal remains were dumped in the ocean. However, I haven’t told you what happened to his salacious soul. Instead of going to Muslim Paradise and an expected reward of 72 virgins, bin Laden’s soul was routed to Christian Hell.

    He found himself in a shallow lake of raw sewage. Only by standing on his tip-toes could he keep his nose slightly above the foul surface. While bobbing up-and-down, he noticed another lost soul nearby. To make small talk, bin Laden commented, “Boy, this is really Hell, isn’t it?”

    The other lost soul replied, “if you think this is bad, wait ’til that little red son-of-a-bitch with horns comes by in his speedboat.”

    • Big Guy says:

      Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Once she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura.
      Dear Dr. Laura:

      Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

      When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

      I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

      I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

      Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

      I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

      A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

      Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

      Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

      I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

      My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? – Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

      I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

      The one and only Big Guy

      • Big Guy says:

        @ Big Guy impostor paste & copy pathetic

        • Big Guy says:

          Yeah, no shit, copy and pasting from that bible book. sheesh.

        • Drained and Washed Clean says:

          Your failure to answer the very relevant questions in that letter pertaining to your favorite book is even more pathetic.

        • TiltedHorizon says:

          Answering questions requires ‘thought’ predicated on ‘comprehension’. If he stopped for a moment to consider the arguments and actually look at the contradictions he may start to doubt the inerrancy of the bible. Such thoughts are hazardous to religion….. better to think everyone else is wrong and let those pesky facts fend for themselves.

          I love how this christian ‘warrior’ is too scared to look at his own assertions. What’s a matter biggie? Are you worried you may actually see the dents in the armor?

      • Dr. LAURA says:

        Look, Big Guy, you have asked a lot of difficult questions. When confronted with such tough choices, just ask, “What would Jesus do?” Then go ahead and kill the offending sinful son-of-a-bitch or do whatever Jesus would think is right. But then how the hell would I know what Jesus would do…I’m a Jew?

        Doctor Laura

      • Metal Head says:

        BEST…POST…EVER

      • Randy says:

        I’m stealing this.

        • Drained and Washed Clean says:

          If one wants proof the Jesus existed, you can look at the writtings of Cornelius Tacitus,
          ** I am just going to send you to Gordon on this one. Can’t say it any better.
          or one of the Roman officals who mocked or killed Christians for worshiping a man (Jesus).
          ** No Roman records have a man named Jesus. It isn’t there.
          Proof that he performed supernatural acts cannot be found.
          ** Let’s back up one more time. Wouldn’t that be kind of a big deal? He would be a freakin’ sorcerer! That sounds like something someone would record in an independent source, like say, Roman records?! And that would have been longer than 5 sentences.
          That is what makes them supernatural.
          ** This is how I know you are a christian. No one of science and thinking outside the flock would be satisfied with this answer. This lack of proof is what makes it mythology. However, claiming that the supernatural doesn’t need proof does make it very convenient though, doesn’t it?
          As for the Big Bang, the current theory is that the universe started with it.
          ** Wow… I had no idea.
          That is how it differentates from, say, Steinhardt and Turok’s theory.
          ** I understand that this theory of inflation answers questions that the Big Bang doesn’t, but what does dropping their names help you accomplish? You made an argument (regardless of the purpose) that assumed something. If this sentence is to somehow make it look like you were arguing from an inflation standpoint, it isn’t working. But keep name dropping if it makes you feel better.
          But the debate isn’t about that,
          ** Nope, it is about you arguing christian points (like a christian with no proof, no evidence, and squirming away from questions you don’t like to answer) but then arguing that you aren’t arguing…
          I simply used it as an example as to why your tone makes you seem like an arrogent jerk.
          ** Unsuccessfully. If you knew what you were talking about you would have made an argument that couldn’t have been torn to pieces after the first premise. And you would have used spell check.

      • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        This just points out what any Christian knows: it’s impossible to follow everything the Bible says. There are occasions it contradicts itself, other times when it’s so vague people have interpreted it in strange ways like snake-handling. Stoning your neighbor for mowing his lawn on Sunday would lead to prison, as would selling your daughters into prostitution.

        So what is a rational person to do? Start discarding what doesn’t make sense, of course. That’s what I did until it reached the point the whole fabric of my belief unraveled. There wasn’t anything coherent left.

        “God’s word is eternal and unchanging.” Yeah, like not eating meat on Friday, not getting divorced, the unbaptized being sent to Limbo, sacrificing oxen to the lord, etc, etc.

      • Mendax says:

        Well, the entire point of Christianity is that Jesus was the Messiah, and he fulfilled the old covenent (that is, Moses’ laws). Since that has been fulfilled, the laws of the old testimant do not have to be listened to (unless you’re a Jew). So, a Christian would say, go with common sense here, not the bible. Of course, since the letter was addressed to a Jew, all those questions still unanswered…

        • Atsap Revol says:

          @Mendax

          Well, Mendax, I don’t think you can refer me to the Chapter and Verse in the New Testament that excuses Christians from obeying the rules set forth in the Old Testament. But even if that were true, the God portrayed in the OLd Testament is the same God worshipped by Christians, is that not so?

          The God of the OT is a petty, spiteful, jealous mass murderer. How can anyone worship such a God if they have actually read the Bible and believe it to contain the literal truth?

          Belief in a literal Bible results in the unacceptable desire of fundamentalists to inject Intelligent Design and Creationism in science classes.

          Atsap Revol

        • Mendax says:

          The passages would be Hebrews 8:6-8. They state that the old covenent shall be replaced by the new one (brought by the Messiah).

          I never said anything about how literally the bible should be interpreted.

        • Drained and Washed Clean says:

          So a man that you cannot prove exists excuses his “dad” (which is actually himself) from the stupid stuff he wrote in the first book (it makes him look a little mean, hateful, jealous, yada) because the all knowing daddy in the sky (Jesus) couldn’t figure out how to run the world the first time (which he screwed up so bad he had to destroy), so he had to fulfill the prophesy in the OT in order to erase the boo-boos. At the very least whatever christianity believes is based on 1) a god that is obviously not all knowing or he would have gotten it right the first time 2) a god that rewrites history to try to make people forget the atrocities he did in the old book (if they don’t have to follow the laws, maybe they will take the other stuff with a grain of salt as well). I am not seeing much common sense in any of this. As Atsap said, they are still worshiping the same god that did all those nasty things (like raping women and kidnapping female children, destroying entire civilizations). They still CHOOSE to accept that thing as their god. A person like here on earth would be in jail, and probably executed. And believing in this things is supposed to make them morally superior?

          But, I think we should go back to those unanswered questions. Like this one: Can you prove the man in the new testament (note the spelling on that) actually existed? That is a bad question. It has already been answered with “no”. I’ll get back to you.

        • Mendax says:

          I never stated whether or not I believe in God, I only stated how a Christian would respond to the letter.

          Your condescending tone is unwarrented, and doesn’t actually help your argument. Let us say I did it for the Big Bang:

          There was originally nothing, but, something appeared. Then, ignoring the laws of Thermodynamics and of the law of the conservation of mass, it exploded. Somehow, an explosion led to the creation of everything. This all happened 14 billion years ago, despite star clusters that age from 11-18 billion years of age.

          Now, I have done a very good job of sounding smug and I’m sure I annoyed anyone who believes the Big Bang theory. But do you now believe in one of the other scientific theories opposing the Big Bang? I doubt it.

        • Drained and Washed Clean says:

          I never stated whether or not I believe in God, I only stated how a Christian would respond to the letter.
          ** It doesn’t matter whether or not you believe in god. If you are going to answer from the perspective of that group then you should still be able to back up what you are saying. The only portion of that which was directed at you exclusively was asking you to prove the existence of the biblical Jesus. That is kind of an important point if you are going to “state how they would respond”. This is how I would respond to a response like that. And they should have that answer.
          Your condescending tone is unwarrented, and doesn’t actually help your argument.
          ** Was anything I said untrue? No. In whatever tone it is still fact. But it was warrented. Anyone who assumes to speak for “common sense christians” has already shown themselves.
          Let us say I did it for the Big Bang:
          ** So if this didn’t help my argument, then how does it help yours…? Seems that if you don’t think something will work, then you would find a better method for conveying your point? But lets go through this anyway.
          There was originally nothing, but, something appeared.
          ** You assume there was nothing before our universe existed. That is not a fact. You must provide proof for this statement. I guess god would be “something” but where did god come from if something cannot come from nothing?
          Then, ignoring the laws of Thermodynamics and of the law of the conservation of mass, it exploded. Somehow, an explosion led to the creation of everything.
          ** Going back to your previous assumption, which since you cannot prove, this argument doesn’t follow.
          This all happened 14 billion years ago, despite star clusters that age from 11-18 billion years of age.
          ** Could this be explained by there being something that existed before our universe?
          Now, I have done a very good job of sounding smug and I’m sure I annoyed anyone who believes the Big Bang theory.
          ** You may sound smug, but… let’s start with before you can create an argument based around a point you must be able to prove said center point. Since that cannot happen, your entire argument is void, so you really haven’t
          But do you now believe in one of the other scientific theories opposing the Big Bang? I doubt it.
          ** Of course not. You have offered no facts.

        • Drained and Washed Clean says:

          Didn’t complete the sentence:

          Since that cannot happen, your entire argument is void, so you really have nothing to be smug about.

        • Midnight Rider says:

          Then if the old testament is null and void, I guess original sin is null and void. Woot! I win I win!

        • Mendax says:

          @Drained and Washed Clean: If one wants proof the Jesus existed, you can look at the writtings of Cornelius Tacitus, or one of the Roman officals who mocked or killed Christians for worshiping a man (Jesus). Proof that he performed supernatural acts cannot be found. That is what makes them supernatural.
          As for the Big Bang, the current theory is that the universe started with it. That is how it differentates from, say, Steinhardt and Turok’s theory. But the debate isn’t about that, I simply used it as an example as to why your tone makes you seem like an arrogent jerk.

          @Midnight Rider: It isn’t that the old testament is null, it is the old covenent (the pact Moses made with God). Original Sin was around before that covenent,

        • Gordon_UK says:

          Mendax

          Are we talking of the Jesus chap off the bible? The one that supposedly had a huge following and really pissed the church and local officials off? And you are saying that there is only one independent reference of him and that’s by someone who was born in 56AD? WOW could Publius (or Gaius) Cornelius Tacitus time travel like doctor who or was his information second hand?

          PS I am being a jerk (googling ‘jerk’ it’s either ‘The kind of guy most girls ACTUALLY want when they say they want a Nice Guy or ‘an industrial metal band from Sydney’ or ‘a style of cooking native to Jamaica’, though I’m going for the first one)

          RAmen
          Gordon

        • Drained and Washed Clean says:

          Replied to the wrong one… Damn. Posting again!

          If one wants proof the Jesus existed, you can look at the writtings of Cornelius Tacitus,
          ** I am just going to send you to Gordon on this one. Can’t say it any better.
          or one of the Roman officals who mocked or killed Christians for worshiping a man (Jesus).
          ** No Roman records have a man named Jesus. It isn’t there.
          Proof that he performed supernatural acts cannot be found.
          ** Let’s back up one more time. Wouldn’t that be kind of a big deal? He would be a freakin’ sorcerer! That sounds like something someone would record in an independent source, like say, Roman records?! And that would have been longer than 5 sentences.
          That is what makes them supernatural.
          ** This is how I know you are a christian. No one of science and thinking outside the flock would be satisfied with this answer. This lack of proof is what makes it mythology. However, claiming that the supernatural doesn’t need proof does make it very convenient though, doesn’t it?
          As for the Big Bang, the current theory is that the universe started with it.
          ** Wow… I had no idea.
          That is how it differentates from, say, Steinhardt and Turok’s theory.
          ** I understand that this theory of inflation answers questions that the Big Bang doesn’t, but what does dropping their names help you accomplish? You made an argument (regardless of the purpose) that assumed something. If this sentence is to somehow make it look like you were arguing from an inflation standpoint, it isn’t working. But keep name dropping if it makes you feel better.
          But the debate isn’t about that,
          ** Nope, it is about you arguing christian points (like a christian with no proof, no evidence, and squirming away from questions you don’t like to answer) but then arguing that you aren’t arguing…
          I simply used it as an example as to why your tone makes you seem like an arrogent jerk.
          ** Unsuccessfully. If you knew what you were talking about you would have made an argument that couldn’t have been torn to pieces after the first premise. And you would have used spell check.

    • Big Guy says:

      @ Big Guy impostor anything you write with more than 3 sentences is paste & copy

      • The English Master says:

        One has to copy it before one can paste it.

        • Midnight Rider says:

          Yeah, we call it call it “copy and paste.”

  7. wulff says:

    “My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field,”

    Who would have guessed that crop rotation was a tool of Satan?

    • Big Guy says:

      Moses.

      • Big Guy says:

        Big Guy impostor get off my page

        • puppygoogoo says:

          but he was here first, so you leave.

  8. Joe Dailey says:

    I dont see any Atheist believing Pastafarian, we are monotheistic. if you don’t believe in this god, get the fuck out

1 9 10 11 12 13 66

Leave a Reply