I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)

Published June 14th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

I spent a while thinking of a good reply to this, without sounding like some sort of inbred hick or perhaps maybe to get your attention. However, I realize that there pretty much is no way for that to happen, if you put this in your hate-mail section, I’ll probably be mocked just as much as the next guy, who put the stupid comment about how you could never buy a pirate ship. I’m OK with that, I just wish people will actually think about what I have to say rather then ignorantly mocking what I believe personally. Whatever may happen, I don’t really mind, except that I cannot bring myself to be silent on this issue.

I am a Christian, whatever you may think about me, or absurd assumptions you may have about what I look like, think like, or speak like, realize this, I think all beliefs should be treated with equality. Atheism, Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Agonist, Voodoo, whatever, I don’t care, if you believe that you are correct, then you have every right in the world to believe that with all your heart, and nobody should force you to believe what they believe. Now I also believe in open criticism of any of these religions, meaning your Pastafarian view that openly mocks religion. However, it is also my right to criticize the criticism, meaning though while I believe it is your right to mock, harass, and generally make religious persons miserable, I don’t believe it is morally right.

Atheism is a belief just as much as Christianity. Say whatever you want about facts and how religion is stupid and all those who practice it are all idiots, but it still comes down to the fundamental truth that you must believe this to be more true over the other option. I am again, completely fine with that, and that is why I love America so much, because we CAN believe differently then one another, and still live peacefully (to a degree) together. However, mocking is not the right way to go about arguing your belief.
By the way, here is the definition of mocking:

1. Tease or laugh at in a scornful or contemptuous manner.

2. Make (something) seem laughably unreal or impossible.

To laugh at someone else’s belief that they dedicate their lives to is not funny or humorous, but I believe is rather childish and immature. This is the main reason why I would much rather sit down calmly with an atheist and have a rational discussion about each other’s beliefs, instead of smacking them in the face with a bible, and shouting how they are going to hell for not believing the undeniable truth that is the bible, or worse, calling their belief idiotic and getting my group of friends together and laughing and pointing in his face.

Of course there are people that do this, hence, you, and there will always be people like you. My job is try to convince you to be rational and discuss each others view points.

I could never put myself in your mindset and read this the same way through your eyes. To you, I just look like another idiot who took this seriously and decided to write a concerned letter and waste his time trying to teach you to be respectful, but the truth is, writing this helps me put my thoughts in order anyways.

If you do have one ounce of thought for my beliefs, at least view this letter with respect, and try to think about what I am thinking when I read this:


What I am thinking is that the joke has gone to far. Of course this letter asks for intelligent discussion, and that seems to have never existed in your website, so before I go, let my put it in your language.

Fuck you, and lay off religion asshole.


1,959 Responses to “I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)”

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  1. Dawson says:

    “Atheism is a belief just as much as Christianity.” Oh, boy! I s’pose my new favorite hobby is NOT collecting stamps!

    • Rasputin says:

      Dear Dawson, ha ha ha!

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      Is sitting on the couch an exercise just as much as running marathons?

      • Bill says:

        Of course

  2. Saint Gnocchi says:

    Dear TFTPTM, It’s a helluva lot more comfortable?

  3. Anonymous LK says:

    I’m not entirely sure if this post will ever be read. But, just in case, I would like to passively comment on this person’s personal opinion. I will take your religion seriously and will assume that you are equal in intelligence to me for the sake of respect, unlike you in your response, and contradicting your implications, I will respond civilly and cleanly (no curse words). Watch me.
    First, I am certain that this religion was not formed to personally assault your beliefs or your way of thinking, or influence/manipulate you in any way otherwise. The person(s) who are responsible for Pastafarianism came together because of the great conflicts and corruptions they saw religion cause in the world, particularly in Christianity.
    Before you tune out completely to what I am trying to say, I want to tell you that I completely respect you and appreciate the fact that you think all religion must be treated equally. However, in your response, you did not only voice your opinion on the subject but also mocked the religion in your own way, which completely discredited your previous point that mocking religion is “rather childish and immature.”
    Pastafarians can do and think and post freely as they like. If you truly ‘love’ America, you would know it says so in our constitution. Satire expresses the corruption and ridicules the close-minded. Let me ask you this: Has anyone ever murdered, raped, killed or sinned for God and Jesus Christ? How about the Flying Spaghetti monster? This creation didn’t force itself upon you- it simply was made to be FUNNY. Y’know, ha-ha, funny, laughing?
    Your ‘job’ is to see this religion and think and say what you want, not mock it and say that it is aggressive and wrong, calling it’s founders “assholes,” calling the whole thing stupid, and pretty much calling it the bully of all religion. Is this not mocking?
    Although I don’t like what you are saying, I will die for your right to say it. Don’t rain on someone else’s parade just because you don’t like the song the marching band is playing.

    • Rasputin says:

      Dear Anonymous LK, thankyou for your thoughtful consideration.
      I have read and re-read your article. I can’t see whether you’re being critical of Pastafarians for mocking Christianity or the other way around.
      As a Pastafarian, I am happy to inform Jews, Christians and Muslims that their cosmology is based upon the superstitions of a bunch of bronze age nomads and it’s no longer fit for purpose. We don’t need to believe in their gods in order to be “good” or to create a decent society.
      Laughter is a very good medicine. If Jews, Christians and Muslims can see that believing in a flying spaghetti monster is every bit as rational as their own religions, we will have succeeded.

      • Retired Marine says:

        You people are the reason that there are no lifeguards in the Gene Pool. My only wish is that you weren’t able to vote either. I cannot grasp your hatred of religion. As a Christian I believe in the live and let live rather than an eye for an eye rule. You on the other hand choose to ridicule and demean another’s belief. I ask myself why someone would do this to another just for the fun of it and one answer comes to my mind. You are devoid of compassion for others, and you clearly aren’t going to stop doing what your doing simply because I think it’s asinine, so keep on trucking but remember that you are only humiliating yourselves.

        • Keith says:

          “You people are the reason that there are no lifeguards in the Gene Pool.” That opening sentence makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. There are plenty of beach lifeguards (In Australia at least) who have produced children. If you are talking about the Queens household cavalry regiment, ditto. “As a Christian I believe in the live and let live rather than an eye for an eye rule.” Well then, I can only assume that the epithet “Retired Marine” is bogus. Anyone who seriously believes in the “Live and let live” policy would not put themselves in a position where they might have to kill someone, or to put it bluntly, joined the military.

        • Canoodle says:

          Dear Retired Marine, The lack of lifeguards in your Gene Pool is extremely worrying. Can you explain exactly what these lifeguards do? Do they drag drowning sperm out and give them mouth to mouth? Sounds like you have some homo-erotic thing going on there.

          You start your rant by insulting us and then expose your hypocrisy with your pious declaration that you ‘believe in live and let live’. You come to this site and spew out your semi-intelligible vitriol and we are the intolerant ones? Yeh right, that makes perfect sense.

          You say we lack compassion because we make fun of your imaginary friend. You really need to grow a pair. Did you retire because someone hurt your precious feelings? Participation in this forum is not compulsory but I’m guessing an idiot like you would demand compulsory religious indoctrination in schools.

          So, retired marine, I think you really should invest in a pair of floaties and a wetsuit before you venture back into your gene pool.

        • whoviangirl says:

          “I cannot grasp your hatred of religion” do not confuse hatred with passion and justified anger. every. time. i check a new story of christian origin from one of my facebook family or friends i find lies, lies and more lies. the church is a master at lying to keep its flock submissive, which is a crap thing to do if you are touting to preach the one, true, omnipotent god. ever study world history? religion’s role is huge and it’s killed a lot of people, there’s nothing wrong with wanting that role diminished as a means of advancing mankind. you would let one religion into our government but not another, how is that even logical? we don’t hate religion, we are passionate that it’s role finally be mitigated to the antiquity chambers along with bleeding out a sick patient, we absolutely cannot afford to continue operating in its name.

  4. John B. says:

    From his post then I must generally assume that Christianity as well as all religions for that matter must be a mockery from the defenition presented. (But the spaghetti monster holds a special place in my heart<3)

    • Rasputin says:

      Dear whoviangirl, please come here more often.

    • Bill says:

      As does he to all those who have been touched by his noodly appendages

  5. Raviologist says:

    As a practicing Raviologist I will pray for you all to discover cheesey leftovers that led to my spiritual rebirth. Evangelical Raviologists are a truly enlightened flock with strict adherence to Ragu. I don’t understand those who claim to worship FSM but only when it’s convenient for them to injest complex carbohydrates. If you’re only a Pastafian on Spaghetti night, you’re no pastafarian I want to know. Praise be to pasta.

    • The Sauceror says:

      We eat Ragu too. But it’s only in jest.

      • Rasputin says:

        Welcome, Raviologist! Come here more often.

        • Rasputin says:

          Dear Retired Marine, one of our objectives is to hold a mirror so that Christianity can see itself. If you find Pastafarian beliefs strange, please compare them to Christian beliefs. There isn’t much difference when it comes to rationality.
          Broadly speaking, the Ten Commandments are pretty much universal. They are required in any civilisation. Beyond that, all this stuff about a three-in-one deity and so on is nonsense.
          Be nice to people and don’t steal? Certainly.
          Believe in the rest of the mumbo-jumbo about Jehova? No, it’s nonsense.

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