I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)

Published June 14th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

I spent a while thinking of a good reply to this, without sounding like some sort of inbred hick or perhaps maybe to get your attention. However, I realize that there pretty much is no way for that to happen, if you put this in your hate-mail section, I’ll probably be mocked just as much as the next guy, who put the stupid comment about how you could never buy a pirate ship. I’m OK with that, I just wish people will actually think about what I have to say rather then ignorantly mocking what I believe personally. Whatever may happen, I don’t really mind, except that I cannot bring myself to be silent on this issue.

I am a Christian, whatever you may think about me, or absurd assumptions you may have about what I look like, think like, or speak like, realize this, I think all beliefs should be treated with equality. Atheism, Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Agonist, Voodoo, whatever, I don’t care, if you believe that you are correct, then you have every right in the world to believe that with all your heart, and nobody should force you to believe what they believe. Now I also believe in open criticism of any of these religions, meaning your Pastafarian view that openly mocks religion. However, it is also my right to criticize the criticism, meaning though while I believe it is your right to mock, harass, and generally make religious persons miserable, I don’t believe it is morally right.

Atheism is a belief just as much as Christianity. Say whatever you want about facts and how religion is stupid and all those who practice it are all idiots, but it still comes down to the fundamental truth that you must believe this to be more true over the other option. I am again, completely fine with that, and that is why I love America so much, because we CAN believe differently then one another, and still live peacefully (to a degree) together. However, mocking is not the right way to go about arguing your belief.
By the way, here is the definition of mocking:

1. Tease or laugh at in a scornful or contemptuous manner.

2. Make (something) seem laughably unreal or impossible.

To laugh at someone else’s belief that they dedicate their lives to is not funny or humorous, but I believe is rather childish and immature. This is the main reason why I would much rather sit down calmly with an atheist and have a rational discussion about each other’s beliefs, instead of smacking them in the face with a bible, and shouting how they are going to hell for not believing the undeniable truth that is the bible, or worse, calling their belief idiotic and getting my group of friends together and laughing and pointing in his face.

Of course there are people that do this, hence, you, and there will always be people like you. My job is try to convince you to be rational and discuss each others view points.

I could never put myself in your mindset and read this the same way through your eyes. To you, I just look like another idiot who took this seriously and decided to write a concerned letter and waste his time trying to teach you to be respectful, but the truth is, writing this helps me put my thoughts in order anyways.

If you do have one ounce of thought for my beliefs, at least view this letter with respect, and try to think about what I am thinking when I read this:


What I am thinking is that the joke has gone to far. Of course this letter asks for intelligent discussion, and that seems to have never existed in your website, so before I go, let my put it in your language.

Fuck you, and lay off religion asshole.


2,086 Responses to “I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)”

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  1. Gnocchi Saint Pudding says:

    Dear Apprentice Frederic,
    You are a Gentleman. My mom used to complain that Womens’ Lib were a dying breed and that said Movement was slowly killing you all off. I thank you, Sir, for springing to my defence. Ah, you are one of a rare breed, and I am truly charmed.

    Bless you. May FSM, Pesto, Tagliatelle, the purist Olive Oil, plenty of garlic and the finest wine be with you for the rest of your Days.

    • Gnocchi Saint Pudding says:

      Dear Apprentice Frederic.
      Oops. A careless error in my first sentence: I meant to type that my mom said….gentlemen…. are the dying breed, and not the Women Libbers!

      • Germane Gruyere says:

        Feeling pedantic, a second careless error was misplacing the posessive apostrophe. Naturally, Women’s Lib are a thriving breed.

        • Gnocchi Saint Pudding says:

          Dear German Grey Ear, I must admit that BOTH those posts of mine are so riddled with sins grammatical that, in the clear light of day, I stand abashed and contrite. My apologies to all. :)

    • Apprentice Frederic says:

      Dear Gnocchi St. P: You’re way, way kind, and thank you for your benediction! However unnecessary, it is a pleasure to “defend” you as a fellow Pastararian communicant as well as – well – a swell person!

  2. Capt'n Freakn' Fusilli says:

    I’m good with “respecting” the right for one to believe……just not those gluten free heretics. You know what gluten free pasta is missing…….freakn’ gluten

    • Simon C says:

      gluten all the way bro

  3. Simon C says:

    THE FSM IS AWESOME! Do not assume that people with different or joking beliefs are mocking or making fun of you in any way.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Simon, I love the way that Austin thinks a ‘rational discussion’ about religion is possible, whereas, it’s a contradiction in terms. He also assumes that Christians are not mocking all other religions. Dealt with in the past is his claim that atheism is a type of religion, in the same way that not collecting stamps is a type of hobby.

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