I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)

Published June 14th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

I spent a while thinking of a good reply to this, without sounding like some sort of inbred hick or perhaps maybe to get your attention. However, I realize that there pretty much is no way for that to happen, if you put this in your hate-mail section, I’ll probably be mocked just as much as the next guy, who put the stupid comment about how you could never buy a pirate ship. I’m OK with that, I just wish people will actually think about what I have to say rather then ignorantly mocking what I believe personally. Whatever may happen, I don’t really mind, except that I cannot bring myself to be silent on this issue.

I am a Christian, whatever you may think about me, or absurd assumptions you may have about what I look like, think like, or speak like, realize this, I think all beliefs should be treated with equality. Atheism, Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Agonist, Voodoo, whatever, I don’t care, if you believe that you are correct, then you have every right in the world to believe that with all your heart, and nobody should force you to believe what they believe. Now I also believe in open criticism of any of these religions, meaning your Pastafarian view that openly mocks religion. However, it is also my right to criticize the criticism, meaning though while I believe it is your right to mock, harass, and generally make religious persons miserable, I don’t believe it is morally right.

Atheism is a belief just as much as Christianity. Say whatever you want about facts and how religion is stupid and all those who practice it are all idiots, but it still comes down to the fundamental truth that you must believe this to be more true over the other option. I am again, completely fine with that, and that is why I love America so much, because we CAN believe differently then one another, and still live peacefully (to a degree) together. However, mocking is not the right way to go about arguing your belief.
By the way, here is the definition of mocking:

1. Tease or laugh at in a scornful or contemptuous manner.

2. Make (something) seem laughably unreal or impossible.

To laugh at someone else’s belief that they dedicate their lives to is not funny or humorous, but I believe is rather childish and immature. This is the main reason why I would much rather sit down calmly with an atheist and have a rational discussion about each other’s beliefs, instead of smacking them in the face with a bible, and shouting how they are going to hell for not believing the undeniable truth that is the bible, or worse, calling their belief idiotic and getting my group of friends together and laughing and pointing in his face.

Of course there are people that do this, hence, you, and there will always be people like you. My job is try to convince you to be rational and discuss each others view points.

I could never put myself in your mindset and read this the same way through your eyes. To you, I just look like another idiot who took this seriously and decided to write a concerned letter and waste his time trying to teach you to be respectful, but the truth is, writing this helps me put my thoughts in order anyways.

If you do have one ounce of thought for my beliefs, at least view this letter with respect, and try to think about what I am thinking when I read this:


What I am thinking is that the joke has gone to far. Of course this letter asks for intelligent discussion, and that seems to have never existed in your website, so before I go, let my put it in your language.

Fuck you, and lay off religion asshole.


1,987 Responses to “I spent a while thinking (hate-mail)”

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  1. Rasputin says:

    Dear Excelsior, Ramen indeed!
    I have previously speculated that Jesus was actually a misunderstood Pastafarian. Could one or more of the USA’s founding fathers have been Pastafarians?
    The American flag resembles strands of spaghetti in tomato sauce, with blue cheese and pasta shapes.
    Do any Pastafarians know enough about 1776 to offer further suggestions?

    • Rasputin says:

      I’ve just gone back to Page 1 of this strand and read the letter which commenced it. There is also an article about a boy who got in trouble because he went to school dressed as a pirate. Does anyone know what happened afterwards?

  2. Excelsior says:

    The Founding Fathers were from various religions such as Christianity (many different sects), Illuminati, Free Masons, Pastafarians, etc. That’s why the First Amendment grants freedom of religion. Thomas Jefferson not only wrote the Declaration of Independence, He also wrote his own Bible! He scorned all the magic (miracles) so took them all out. He called it “The Life and Morals of Jesus of Nazareth.” Some people called him a “damned Atheist” (actually I think he was a Pastafarian)! His “Bible” had 84 pages written in Greek, Latin, French, and English (WOW) and was published in 1820! If you can get a copy you can sell it for a million dollars!

    • Rasputin says:

      Dear Excelsior, thanks. Thomas Jefferson was a brilliant guy. Clear thinking.

    • Thomas Jefferson says:

      “The day will come, when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as His father, in the womb of a virgin, will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva, in the brain of Jupiter.”

      • Rasputin says:

        TJ was bright. Free thinking. Liberty. Yeah, a Pastafarian before his time.

  3. ippi says:

    This reply is for the author Austin,The reason people are offended by the mocking of their religion is because the truth hurts,and no matter what,the truth is always best,even if it shows how stupid a belief is.Religious people just cant face the fact they are wrong because their minds aren’t open enough to accept it.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      ippi, you make some astute observations; may I suggest some careful reading on so-called Cognitive Dissonance.

      • Saint Gnocchi says:

        Dear Thomas Jefferson, But on that day, will it make me laugh? There is, for me, no experience that is truly worthwhile unless it contains an enormous dollop of seriously funny.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Come on, St. G, give the guy a break, he’s been dead for a few hundred years. What if, on that day, the Pope turns atheist and does the Can-Can in a tutu? Would that do it for you?

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      I love it when fundies, trying to belittle atheism, say that “the universe wasn’t created from nothing!”. Actually, that’s what they believe, too. They just think there was a Great Magician pulling it off. Which means they believe that god was created from nothing, too, and by no one and before time began.

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        tFtPtM, fundies are doomed to eternal struggle with insoluble paradoxes because they refuse to pick up a science book.
        Of course the Universe can come from nothing, 0 = -1 +1, is the complete formula. Fundies also have the absurd idea that ‘time’ is independent of space and matter and ‘existed’ before the Universe. It’s no wonder they go crazy, trying to force-fit a Bronze Age model.

        • Rasputin says:

          Dear Cap’n Birdseye, I’d love to see Archbishop Tutu doing the can-can.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Rasputin, a day with Photoshop would result in a very nice gif. Frilly knickers or ‘traditional’?
          Surely, someone has already done it.

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