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Certificates of Ordination

Published May 9th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

Update — The ordination certificates have been redesigned

Ordination certificates are just $20 and include domestic shipping. $30 for international. Check out more photos on the order page here.



171 Responses to “Certificates of Ordination”

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  1. Chaussure puma says:

    Well done and thanks for your kind words. By the way, I love your

    mantra.
    I love your site. There is plenty of insight. It is great to see sites

    promoting ethics.

  2. Cap'n Scooter says:

    If this were for Pirates, the certificate would begin: “To All Who Shall See These Presents, Greeting”

  3. vibram five fingers sydney says:

    I’m glad I found your blog post this morning, in this information

    release. I will send it to my friends and family say the same curious

    about the big issue.

  4. Encyclodpedia Brit says:

    I hear there may be a rapture this Saturday, anyone up for some looting?

    • TiltedHorizon says:

      Don’t need to loot, all 2.1 Billion Christians will fly away, naked, leaving their dirty draws, a lasting smell of raptured badussy, and all their worldly belongings behind. There will be a ton of crap left behind for everyone.

      Speaking of crap, what happens to all the bodily waste not yet excreted? Does it raptured as well, is that where ‘Holy’ Shit comes from?

  5. Evolving in KS says:

    Just for fun, I looked at the laws for my great state of kansas, to find out who can perform a marriage. From KSA 23-104a (because we always cite our sources…)

    (1) Any currently ordained clergyman or religious authority of any religious denomination or society;

    SWEET! After I send in my $46 and get my credentials, I am going to be a marrying fool! Assuming there’s anybody left to marry after The Rapture of course!

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      There won’t be a need to marry after the Rupture, Evolving. Who needs a guy in a funny robe to give you the OK?

      Hey, Bobby! Will there be a Pastafarian Rapture anytime soon? I’m picturing something like the last War of the Worlds with people getting snatched up with long tentacles, and marinara sauce being sprayed over the countryside.

      • Big Guy says:

        More blasphemy Marine. You will shirley roast in hell for eternity. Of course there will be no Rapture for you pasta heads. Bin Laden is dead, shot in the eye, so he can’t rapture you. You will suffer paper cuts and stubbed toes during the Tribulation, and you will cry out for mercy, but it will be too late. I will enjoy my S&M Victory over you sorry heathens. I am wining, there is no doubt of it!

        • wulff says:

          Don’t call me shirley…

        • puppygoogoo says:

          @wulff,

          lol. havent heard that comment in years.

          @Gib,

          What we are in/using is called a “FORUM” not a form. As has been posted previously.

          puppygoogoo

  6. Sane Lunasea says:

    These are all well and good, however to do any official business such as performing weddings, you must have a “Letter of Good Standing” from the institution that has ordained you. The ULC sells these for a fraction of the cost of their certificates. Anything else is just for show. A simple paper Letter of Good Standing could be shipped anywhere in the world with very little hassle.

  7. Big Guy says:

    George H.W. Bush, as presidential nominee for the Republican party; 1987-AUG-27: “No, I don’t know that Atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered as patriots. This is one nation under God.”

    • Google police says:

      This is clearly a post by the fake Big Guy!

      YOU ARE HEREBY BANNED FROM THE FORM!!!

      (There, that oughta do it.)

  8. Tracie says:

    I’m also interested to see if this ordination will allow people to perform marriage ceremonies. I’m particularly interested to see how this could work in Utah. According to Utah Code Title 30 Chapter 1 Section 6, ” (1) Marriages may be solemnized by the following persons only:
    (a) ministers, rabbis, or priests of any religious denomination who are:
    (i) in regular communion with any religious society; and
    (ii) 18 years of age or older;” etc etc etc

    I don’t know what “in regular communion” means…would we need to create a FSM church in Utah for an FSM ordination to be legally binding?

    • Google Police says:

      Allow me, Tracie, as a legal representative of The Law, to assure you that “in regular communion” (for the Church of FSM) means posting on this website at least once a month.
      No, you do not need to create an FSM Church in Utah, although it sure couldn’t hurt.
      In order to be a “minister” for this Church, you do need the proper credentials, so send in your 46 bucks today.
      Have a nice day.
      By order of GP.

    • Keith says:

      Judging by current christian practices “regular communion” would mean that you eat the flesh and drink the blood of the people who belong to your society.

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