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You sicken me

Published April 16th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

You sicken me with the fact that you now have my best friend believing in your stupid, sick, blasphemous crap you call a religion! I can tell you what it really is, BLASPHEMOUS, MADE DURING A DRUG BINGE, IDOLATRY THAT WILL HAVE YOU BURNING IN HELL OR ON THE TABLE AFTER THE LAST WAR!!!! I am furious about the fact that there is a religion DEVOTED to SIN OF ALL THINGS! If you don’t change you and all your followers will be in a special place in hell just for IDOL WORSHIPPING, SIN LOVERS LIKE YOURSELF!!! You disgust me and I hope you see the truth before it’s too late.

Antipastifarian,

Chance

I need more information on this “special place” in hell you refer to – will there be cake? 

Interested,

-bobby



2,153 Responses to “You sicken me”

  1. doug says:

    How can worshiping pasta be a sin ?

    We worship the one true god

    he is just upset that he is wrong and we are right

  2. Macinnes says:

    Guido, Guido, Guido, The claim that Christians carried out evil deeds is not just a claim it is a proven truth. They committed evil deeds in the name of their God and indeed still do. No arguement. But belief is belief. I believe that side order of Angel Hair pasta I just had was great and now I believe I’ll have a good amber ale.

  3. Marcus says:

    Sorry, we Pastafarians do not believe in hell. And by the way, planes fly in the sky, not underground.

  4. Quinn says:

    The special place in Hell?
    The same one reserved for child molesters and people who talk in the theater.

    Thanks for that one, Shepherd Book.

  5. Pete Byrdie says:

    Why didn’t an all knowing god free us from original sin after the flood? He specifically murdered every human on Earth (including the unborn, pro-lifers) because they were so sinful. THAT would have been an ideal opportunity to expunge the remaining arkonauts of original sin, so that humanity would be free of it forever.

    • Pete Byrdie says:

      I detect the noodly caprice of His appendages in the ordering of the comments on this page.

    • Keith says:

      He needed an excuse to be cruel and vindictive at a later date. After all, he is only human.

      • Pete Byrdie says:

        That is the only logical conclusion. And it’s entirely consistent with the vain, petty entity described throughout the Old Testament. I pray to his saucy meatballs this comment ends up in the right place.

  6. Reverend Noodle says:

    Lets see, Once upon a time there was a woman screwed by a god and she gave birth to gods son. Sounds logical so far. There is a god that knows everything except how to have total piece in the world. Sounds very logical. There are two places called heaven and hell, somewhere but nobody knows where they are. Sounds logical. Theres an invisible god that runs everything. Sounds logical. The whole universe was created in 6 days by an invisible god. Sounds logical.

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      This alleged young lady, Mary, was underage and did not consent to this violation by a MUCH older male. He should be brought up on charges! To compound the outrage, he was a totally dead-beat dad. His son’s supposed last words were about his father forsaking him.

      • Keith says:

        Matthew 27:46 to 50.
        Luke 23:46
        John 19:30
        All supposedly the final words: all different. The Matthew one reads like a Monty Python sketch.

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          Was any of them “Hey, I can see my house from here!”??

        • Pete Byrdie says:

          You mean, they got together to decide which differing accounts to include in a single definitive volume, and they couldn’t even manage to provide Christ’s last words with consistency? Even George Lucas could have managed to nail a detail like that.

        • Keith says:

          TFTPTM: I think they decided not to include the bit where the Roman soldier said “I can see right up your nose”.
          Pete: George Lucas would have had him saying “Miso pleeze mi hang here for ‘notha moovee”. I think that would have knocked the religion on the head right from the start.

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          Kind of a tradition, Pete. Like either 40 or 150 days of rain for the Great Flood, or 27 vs. 41 generations tracing Jesus’s lineage from David, or whether birds came from the sea or the earth.

  7. Saucerer says:

    Posters who keep insisting that a-theism is a belief, simply reveal they are fresh from evangelical school and trying to raise the argument of presuppositionalism (read up on Appologetics). This is theo-logic that just doesn’t make sense. If a weak thinker agrees, the next predictable ‘planks’ of theo-logic make one’s head spin (read up on Classical Greek logic). If challenged with the idea that something must be either TRUE or FALSE simply say: “This sentence is a lie. True or false?”

  8. Anton says:

    Will there be cake? I laughed my head off for ten minutes after reading that

    • Why Does Everyone Know the Mind of God but don't Agree says:

      Yes there will be cake there.

      It is being test marketed at your grocery store the last 50 or so years.

      Devil’s Food Cake.

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