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You sicken me

Published April 16th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

You sicken me with the fact that you now have my best friend believing in your stupid, sick, blasphemous crap you call a religion! I can tell you what it really is, BLASPHEMOUS, MADE DURING A DRUG BINGE, IDOLATRY THAT WILL HAVE YOU BURNING IN HELL OR ON THE TABLE AFTER THE LAST WAR!!!! I am furious about the fact that there is a religion DEVOTED to SIN OF ALL THINGS! If you don’t change you and all your followers will be in a special place in hell just for IDOL WORSHIPPING, SIN LOVERS LIKE YOURSELF!!! You disgust me and I hope you see the truth before it’s too late.

Antipastifarian,

Chance

I need more information on this “special place” in hell you refer to – will there be cake? 

Interested,

-bobby



2,124 Responses to “You sicken me”

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  1. Bigslicka says:

    A little haiku for you all. Ignorance is bliss. Big Guy must smile all day long. Learn about satire

    • Bigslicka says:

      Ooopps. One syllable to long. I promise I will do better next time.

      • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        Take out the “long” and you’re good to go, Bigslicka.

        • G. Lweigamnik says:

          I thought it was the last verse that didn’t comply with the 5-7-5.

        • Big Guy says:

          Today I fed some old spaghetti to my dog he’s a lover of pasta. I threw out the rest in the composter. I stood there for awhile looking at the heap of steaming garbage waiting for it’s imminent return to mother earth. A thought occurred to me while I was looking at this smelly pile. Do plants have feelings & do they feel pain if so vegans are in trouble.

        • Brian Fritzen says:

          @ BigGuy

          “Its return to mother earth.”

          It never left. That is why it is pasta.

          And you should’ve composted it. Or does a belief in Jeebus automatically make you think adding to a landfill is a good idea.

  2. Vermicelli says:

    Oh Sky cake….

  3. chef chris says:

    Mmmmmmm…..hell cake.

    • n kalanaga says:

      Devil’s Food, most likely. Maybe they’ll have some good Deviled Eggs, too.

  4. Luis Gerarado (PuertoRican Pastafarian) says:

    It’s unbelievable how someone can speak of hell when, if such place existed, that person would have already won a free ticket by the expressed hate.

  5. Atsap Revol says:

    BIG GUY,

    There is no historical record or archeological evidence for most of the Biblical stories you believe are true. You are a brain-washed person incapable of independent research and analysis. You blindly accept the doctrines and myths of your particular church as factual. I would venture that you are afraid to critically examine the beliefs that are rubber stamped deeply in your mind. If you derive comfort from your delusional paradigm, so be it. But you do not have a license to tell others that they will go to hell if they don’t develop a matching delusion.

    You’ve made quite a splash here on our website with your blathering. But enough is enough…pack up and get ready to celebrate Easter, troll.

    BTW, if the End Of Times doesn’t occur on May 21st, as you believe it will, then how will you explain that failure to fulfill Bible prophecy? According to the NT, Jesus told his disciples that the apocalypse would arrive while some of them still lived. We done been waitin’ over 2,000 years and still nuttin’. You Christians are very patient!

    AR

    • Big Guy says:

      I never alluded to May 21st as being significant any way whatsoever.

      • Keith says:

        TiltedHorizon says:
        April 18, 2011 at 3:07 PM

        Would these be the same “scholars and statisticians” who predicted Judgement Day is around the corner? Literally. May 21st 2011 (http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/)

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0
        Reply

        *
        Big Guy says:
        April 18, 2011 at 3:54 PM

        Yeah wait for it it’s at the door as you read.

        Seems to me that you did

    • Big Guy says:

      @ Atsap Revol aka pasta lover

      yeah I can’t resist retaliating, I suppose you thought your call sign was clever?

      Well as it isn’t clever neither are your innuendos & weak insults.

      Riddle me this pasta lover
      Why hate Christians & do you honestly believe it is OK to attack GOD without suffering reprisals.

      • TiltedHorizon says:

        “do you honestly believe it is OK to attack GOD without suffering reprisals.”

        Criticize, doubt, and openly question religion, my first amendment rights say I’m allowed. “Attack god”, no. He/she/it/whatever would have to exist for that to happen.

      • Brian Fritzen says:

        Wow. You cleverly figured out Atsap’s moniker. Wow. Now maybe you can figure out the “About” tab on the main page. Then, for an encore, you can figure out S A T I R E.

        We get it. You have a belief in a god. This god, according to you, is the one and only god. You are certainly not the first person to claim such a thing. And for THOUSANDS of years before your god, MILLIONS of people claimed their god (not yours) was the true one. Yours isn’t the newest, but considering the history of humans, it is fairly recent.

        Had you been born in India, no doubt, you would explain to us why Vishnu is true. Had you been born in Iran, you would certainly been convinced that Allah is the one true god. Israel, you would say there was no Jesus and Yahweh is god, but you would certainly KNOW that most of the stories in the Torah are just that: STORIES.

        Jews, Many, Many Christians, and Muslims KNOW, I repeat that (because you are having trouble with simple concepts, like Revol’s moniker) KNOW that Evolution, the Big Bang, abiogenesis are all scientific fact. They know this. Even the Pope knows this.

        At least act like the majority of Christians and start to understand that the Bible is just stories and Science is not “the devil.”

      • tekhedd says:

        “why hate Christians”

        While I can think of several reasons (try searching for this phrase on Google)… I haven’t really seen any hate for Christians here. Projection?

        If you go out and taunt people, you will be ridiculed, attacked, and eventually even hated. But it’s not because you’re Christian. It’s because you’re a Noying.

      • puppygoogoo says:

        @ Gib Yug, like we werent going to get that one…..lol

        Once again, we dont hate xtians, just people that come in and make wild outlandish statements that have no oservable evidence to back them up. Now for attacking ‘GOD’, do you think attacking ours wont end in reprisals. Im thinking the big difference between you and us (the ‘TRUE GOD’ followers) is we accept responsibility for our actions and dont need some ficticious character to justify our existence or actions. Also it allows us to be open to anyone regardless of the race, religion (see Nikki’s post, its a good example you can follow), sexual preference, etc and as a result we dont hold the Human Race, the one we all belong to, back any further.

  6. Zack says:

    He’s obviously just jealous of his friend.

  7. Big Guy says:

    @Atsap Revol

    Conversely & more importantly there’s no evidence suggesting he doesn’t exist. I choose to believe in him unseen as the alternative exposes ones self to the potential of a hellfire damnation for all time to come. I definitely don’t want anything to do with that place.

    Why hate Christians

    • Insightful Ape says:

      Troll, what si wrong with this statement:
      “I choose to believe in Prophet Mohammad unseen as the alternative exposes ones self to the potential of a hellfire damnation for all time to come.” (In case you are wondering the description of hell in the koran is even more barbaric and disgusting than the bible.)
      Incidentally, don’t you think parroting the stupid “why hate christians” line is incredibly arrogant and presumptuous? We don’t hate christians. Ask your fellow christian Nikki. Didn’t your lord tell you not to judge?
      Why troll the web

      • Big Guy says:

        I see the danger in your collective foolishness therefore I am compelled to act.

        It is pagans like yourselves that are the greatest threat. Your blatant mockery of
        God is not only offending but blasphemously sacrilegious to all good Christians.

        Because the FSM is a joke and everybody participating here admittedly realizes there is
        no actual pasta lord. Your sham is revealed for what it is. A bowl of flour water and
        sometimes eggs and the only way it’s flying anywhere is if you throw it yourself.

        • TiltedHorizon says:

          “Your sham is revealed for what it is.”

          LOL. You act you you have exposed a secret when it was PLAINLY OBVIOUS to anyone who bothered to read the about page.

          Calling us pagan has no affect, it’s just another word used to group people into bucket: ‘Us’ & ‘Everyone Else’. If you were Jewish you would call me a Gentile. If you were Muslim then I’d be an Infidel. At what point will you offer something unique that can’t also be claimed by another religion?

        • Insightful Ape says:

          If freedom of expression bothers you so much you should move to North Korea. They have a “Dear Leader” over there who very much shares your views about freedom of conscience and speech.

        • opiesysco says:

          Big Guy,

          If histoy is correct, it is religion that is the greatest threat to human life. Some 2011 years ago, there was a sect that broke away from the jewish religion and called themselvs christians. This “new” religion grew and found a home in Europe. During the dark ages, the christians decided that their religion was the only one to be followed and killed anyone that did not believe in the zombie on a stick, one god myth. Their motto : “convert or die”. kinda sounds like a religion that is very popular today doesn’t it.
          Throughout the last 2000+ years, christianity, judaism, and islam have killed more people in the name of their god than any non-believing group in history. How could you possibly follow a religion like that?
          Yes, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is satire, but the 3 main religions of today are a crule crule joke. Set yourself free Big Guy and stop believing in this mythology.

        • stylusmobilus says:

          Our ‘sham’ has a conga line of bigots like you waiting in line for a quilting. Not bad, for a sham. I can’t speak for all my mates here but I don’t particularly care how sacriligious you find our ‘mockery’. And what do ‘pagans’ like us threaten? Your right to impress bigotry, zealotry and concocted lies is all. You are fighting a rearguard action, here and in the real world, and your compulsion to act unfortunately will yield little results other than to dredge up your own anger and insecurities.

          RAmen.

        • Brian Fritzen says:

          Pascal’s Wager? All this time I thought you were serious, then you revert to Pascal’s Wager? Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!

          CYA! Which one true god are you speaking of anyway?

          I mean, of all the iterations of the one true christian god….

        • Spammyboy says:

          There isn’t really a technical definition of ‘pagan’, but I usually go with of the really old, polytheistic ones that have retracted into cults now, like Anglo-Saxon or Roman (Y’know, they probably had a name for their religions…)

    • TiltedHorizon says:

      “I choose to believe in him unseen as the alternative exposes ones self to the potential of a hellfire damnation for all time to come.”

      So you only ‘believe’ to CYA, at least you admit it, to bad it means little in god’s eyes.

      Matthew 7:21-23

      “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’

      The good book says your as screwed as the rest of us. Want me to save you a seat in hell?

      • Insightful Ape says:

        It seems some think “to do the will of the father” means trolling the web.
        Pathetic god that would be.

    • tekhedd says:

      “Why hate Christians”

      Who hates Christians again?

  8. Atsap Revol says:

    Oh no! BIG GUY has revealed my secret identity. I thought I was safe spelling Pasta Lover backwards, but his ever-so-clever mind has deciphered my cryptic nom-de-web.

    Also my innuendos and weak insults directed at BIG GUY are a disgrace to my fellow Pastafarians, and I apologize. I certainly meant my insults to be strong.

    Riddle me this, BIG GUY, why do you hate Muslims and blaspheme against Allah? (I mean vs accepting the Koran as the revealed TRUTH.) How about the Book of Mormon, do you revile those who follow in the path of this source of truth?

    You have placed all your chips on one number, so good luck on the spin of the wheel! If you are wrong, then we will meet in hell. You will easily recognize me…I’ll be the guy without an ass; I’ve laughed it off reading your posts.

    Are you by any chance a reincarnation of Steve Of God (SOG)? He was fun too until he deserted our site and took his ministry elsewhere.

    Thanks for the entertainment, but now run along and ready yourself for the Rapture.

    Pasta Lover (Formerly known as Atsap Revol)

    • wulff says:

      Speaking of the Rapture, I was recently told by some very devout Jehovah’s Witnesses at work that the rapture will happen soon and all the faithful will be brought up to Heaven. To which I replied, “Good. Then the rest of us can finally get something done without you guys getting in the way.”

      • Keith says:

        The rapture (or rupture) is allegedly due on the 21st of May: so look out for cheap property deals as the cranks sell up to finance their trip to heaven.

      • opiesysco says:

        Thats AWESOME!

        I have been waiting for the witnesses to come to my home. They are out in force on Saturdays but never come to my house. So, this past Sunday I was out at Home Depot and while I was out, they came to my house. I almost started to cry. I really want to talk to them.

        • stylusmobilus says:

          Aah the Mormons are better. Less passive and therefore more fun.

    • stylusmobilus says:

      I thought the Koran was a better read than the Bible too. However, as far as fantasy novels go both are way behind Robert Jordan’s and Geo. Martin’s work. Disappointing really, you’d think Dog would have done a better job than mortal men.

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