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You sicken me

Published April 16th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

You sicken me with the fact that you now have my best friend believing in your stupid, sick, blasphemous crap you call a religion! I can tell you what it really is, BLASPHEMOUS, MADE DURING A DRUG BINGE, IDOLATRY THAT WILL HAVE YOU BURNING IN HELL OR ON THE TABLE AFTER THE LAST WAR!!!! I am furious about the fact that there is a religion DEVOTED to SIN OF ALL THINGS! If you don’t change you and all your followers will be in a special place in hell just for IDOL WORSHIPPING, SIN LOVERS LIKE YOURSELF!!! You disgust me and I hope you see the truth before it’s too late.

Antipastifarian,

Chance

I need more information on this “special place” in hell you refer to – will there be cake? 

Interested,

-bobby



2,153 Responses to “You sicken me”

  1. Keith says:

    What is this business about “OR ON THE TABLE AFTER THE LAST WAR!!!!”? Are they serving meals to the victors? What last war, anyway?

    • younger says:

      Yeah..”ON” the table..that sounds like the favored christians around the table are becoming cannibals! Oh well, this is my body which will be given up for you…(that sounds nice,someone should write it down in a book .)

      • Spammyboy says:

        Well, I saw a video on the internet about someone in military gear chained to a table and being eaten. I didn’t get the point, but there seemed to be an absurd number of willies involved…

  2. Inda says:

    Like Brian said: trolling. The whole ‘letter’ is a poor trolling attempt. Don’t be baited and don’t feed the trolls.

  3. Bearded Clam Admirer says:

    Hell, Michigan or Hell, Norway? This really needs to be cleared up…

  4. Ollie says:

    So,

    Apparently s/he is furious that we follow a hate loving figment of our imaginations….yeah sure, because christianity isn’t just one woman’s lie about an affair blown way our of proportion

    Idiots

  5. theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

    Eating spaghetti is a sin??? My deeply religious, Italian mother is spinning in her grave.

    Oh, I get it! Disagreeing with Chance’s religious views is blasphemy, and therefore deserving of eternal torture from his loving god. 75% of the earth is doomed…or not. Fat chance of you being right, Chance.

  6. G. Lweigamnik says:

    Fellows, I believe we have just stumbled upon the being of our nightmares – the Anti-Pasta! – for it has announced so! This entity born of our FSM’s over-drunkenness is probably fat, stupid, unable to think beyond what everyone else tells it to, or possibly a combination of the above mentioned!

    But if we stand united, and continue to eat and love the Pasta and Meatballs so dearly gifted to us by the great Noodliness of our FSM… I truly believe, good sirs and madams, masters and misses: that we shall overcome this formidable yet somewhat hypocritical adversary! Together we must pray for the FSM’s Sauce to rain upon us all and show us the path to Heaven, where His Almeatyness resides with the Beer Volcano and the strippers *without* STDs! Spread His Word – ARRRGH!!!

    R’Amen! And remember to exercise, because it is Good.

    • Bianca Lawrence says:

      Hey, why is fat in there among drunk and stupid!!! be careful what you use as adjectives, besides how else should one be after all that pasta! May the sauce be with you irrespective of what you may think of fat people.

      • G. Lweigamnik says:

        It’s the unhealthy, unhappy kind of fat – kind of like those douches on WWE – from eating too much halal meat and mash, not the jolly’o Italian kind. And I wouldn’t call the latter “fat”, either.

        Sorry about that. :)

  7. JB says:

    Sin? What sin are we “devoted to” or, for that matter, what is a “sin of all things” supposed to mean?
    “All things” might refer to the real world, perhaps? In which case, accepting that there is a real world . . . . oh, never mind. I can’t find a way to have it sound like it makes any sense.

    Have you noticed how many of those who flame here use the words “You sicken me” in their tirade? If they get sick that easily, perhaps they need immunization.

    • The Constable says:

      No, no. You forgot that medicine is a part of science. They can’t bear to be in contact with something as unholy as THAT.

    • Apprentice Frederic says:

      Right on, JB! I just wanted to note that the flamers also refer much too often to drugs. They seem to be conflicted by fairly bizarre, sinful, tempting fantasies.

    • Keith says:

      “perhaps they need immunization”. More like immobilization I think. Strap them down and they can harm neither themselves or anyone else. (Sigh! Where is Arkham Asylum when you need it?)

      • Bigslicka says:

        Send them to me at the Napa State Hospital for re-education. We can help.

  8. Big Guy says:

    Good Friday & Easter is upon us but once again noodle minions. Pasta maniacs boiling in caldrons of bizarro logic will spill onto the stove tops of pastaferian hell. Happy Easter!

    Mother Teresa said;
    “Words which do not give the light of Christ increase the darkness.” “We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature – trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence… We need silence to be able to touch souls.”

    • Bearded Clam Admirer says:

      Nice way to to him/her to STFU!

    • Brian Fritzen says:

      Here are some quotes from letters published after her death:

      “What do I labor for?” she asked in one letter. “If there be no God, there can be no soul. If there be no soul then, Jesus, You also are not true.”

      One of the greatest Christians of all time and she doubted the existence of this hate loving zombie on a stick.

      • Big Guy says:

        @ Brian Fritzen

        Your facts are what I like to call WRONG. MT was the greatest Christain of our time.
        By the grace of God you to can have salvation.

        • Rev Toni Rigatoni says:

          By definition facts cannot be wrong. Sorry, in a pedantic mood following beer and pasta.

          Sauce be with you
          The Reverend

        • Midnight Rider says:

          Being a great Christian is not something to be proud of. By the grace of the Flying Spaghetti Monster I have been given salvation from the utter hell of fear and guilt imposed by Christian fanatics. Mother Theresa appears to have possibly seen the light in her posthumously released letters.

        • Insightful Ape says:

          A propagandist who by her own admission had lost her faith was “the greatest Christain of our time”?
          Gee, if Big Guy is right, that says quite a bit about all others.

        • Metal Head says:

          By the grace of the FSM, you may shut the fuck up.

        • G. Lweigamnik says:

          “Salvation”. Puh-lease, I hear and read this overused word so many times every day in school and on-line that I’m not really even sure you x-ians know what it actually means anymore.

        • Brian Fritzen says:

          My facts are wrong. Lulz. That is what she wrote. Or are you stating that she is the greatest Atheist of all Time?

        • Spammyboy says:

          @G. Lweigamnik
          Salvation: saving someone or something from harm or from an unpleasant situation
          I assume ignorance of the real world and of a blatant fact of science counts as an unpleasant situation?

    • Rev Toni Rigatoni says:

      If you need silence to touch souls why do you and your kind keep making such a bloody din?

      Sauce be with you

      The Reverend

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      Ah, yes – Easter! The pagan celebration of spring rebirth, stolen by Christian mythology.

      Some might say it was when Jesus*, 3 days after his execution* rose from his grave*. Had he seen his shadow, Christians would have been subjected to another 6 weeks of Lent.

      * absolutely no historic proof

    • tekhedd says:

      Let’s see, what else did Mother Teresa say. “Pain and suffering have come into your life, but remember pain, sorrow, suffering are but the kiss of Jesus – a sign that you have come so close to Him that He can kiss you.” She was big on suffering, you know. She felt it was necessary. She wasn’t so big on easing it. As long as you go to heaven, it didn’t matter how much your life sucks.

      As a Catholic she was Excellent, but by Human standards she was only Very Good. Best Person Ever? Naah.

    • younger says:

      See how the tsunamie, and the hurricane, and the F5 tornado move in silence through the gossimar fermament that is nature. “a light can only shine if it is surrounded by darkness!” otherwise you’re just wasting electricity.

    • puppygoogoo says:

      Mother Teresa said” We need to find God” Did they lose him?

      • Atsap Revol says:

        I found Him, He was sleeping behind the sofa.

        Blessings,
        AR

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