1079399 Views
2,157 Comments

You sicken me

Published April 16th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

You sicken me with the fact that you now have my best friend believing in your stupid, sick, blasphemous crap you call a religion! I can tell you what it really is, BLASPHEMOUS, MADE DURING A DRUG BINGE, IDOLATRY THAT WILL HAVE YOU BURNING IN HELL OR ON THE TABLE AFTER THE LAST WAR!!!! I am furious about the fact that there is a religion DEVOTED to SIN OF ALL THINGS! If you don’t change you and all your followers will be in a special place in hell just for IDOL WORSHIPPING, SIN LOVERS LIKE YOURSELF!!! You disgust me and I hope you see the truth before it’s too late.

Antipastifarian,

Chance

I need more information on this “special place” in hell you refer to – will there be cake? 

Interested,

-bobby



2,157 Responses to “You sicken me”

1 2 3 63
  1. Janus says:

    Bobby, if the modern world has taught us anything, it’s that The Cake Is A Lie.

    With all the people being told there’s a special place in Hell for them, I’m actually kind of looking forward to seeing what happens. Scientists, authors, philosophers, artists… so many have been screamed at about how they get to go to that “special place in hell”! At this point I think the majority of the “chosen” are going to be boring, dull witted, xenophobic hatemongers in wherever they think they are going. The real party will be in Purgatory, and all of the Special Hell folks are invited!

    • Cup Noodles says:

      Can I come?

      • Metal Head says:

        Have you accepted His Noodlyness as your God and Savior?

        • tekhedd says:

          It’s not so much a question of what you’ve accepted, as of what you’ve rejected. :D

    • Liz says:

      Somewhere in this string of hate and ignorance I read that Atheism is a religion/cult.. Atheism is a lack of a belief system. We think more naturally and lead our lives by our principals and intelligent thought, rather than “doing what we were told, because I (the bible) say’s so.. If you think of all the religions in the world, and you were going to pick one, but after studying them you decide they are all pretty much BS, and you choose none. That is Atheism. Good luck in life, you god knows you need it.

  2. Mird says:

    THE CAKE IS A LIE! :(

    • Cup Noodles says:

      RAMEN

    • Slurreydude says:

      Pie is the one true dessert? With icecream!

      • CheeseSauce says:

        Can it be vanilla bean ice cream? Pretty please?

  3. Ohio Pirate says:

    Baaaaaahaaaaaaahaaaaaaaa! I just love picturing people like this typing furiously, with that vein bulging down the middle of their forehead. That kinda stuff has me laughing for hours. Must calm down, don’t want to choke on my spaghetti.

    RAmen!

  4. Peter says:

    Yes, I too am furious that there is a religion devoted to things people blindly follow and free, progressive thought is suppressed and deemed heresy. Where people believe the most irrational things, even after science and rational thought proves otherwise, and would go to any length (ex. starting pointless wars, torturing “heretics,” hindering the technological development of the human race, etc.) to defend their beliefs. Furthermore, wait… we aren’t thinking about the same religion, are we…

  5. Trippetta says:

    Hmm, I hope this person’s best friend has truly learned what it means to be Pastafarian, and manages to calm Chance down before s/he has a coronary.

    • BlackBard says:

      Somehow I don’t think the best friend has a (holy) ghost of a chance of converting Chance, but maybe just calming him/her down just a little would be a good start.

      RAmen

  6. Metal Head says:

    What terrible people we are, for acting like xtians don’t have the “right to rule” in the domain of religion.

  7. Brian Fritzen says:

    Ah, Chance, again we meet, young ignorant.

    You spent many a year trolling your hate on Yahoo forums. And now, you have made your way here.

    No one invited you. But, dear Chance, you are sorely misled, as I have told you time and again. You err in your righteousness. You err in your understanding.

    Chance (or shall I call you no Chance without Jesus) and so on and so forth. You are merely a troll. As you are at Yahoo.

    Sayonara,

    Brian
    aka Rage of Achilles ;P

  8. Alpha says:

    “Chance” is obviously unaware that we do not fear the Christian concept of Hell. He should be made aware that His Noodliness guarantees ALL Pastafarians Eternal Bliss simply for Believing in His Noodliness.

    Prayer: May Chance be touched by His noodly appendage. Amen.

    • BlackBard says:

      Actually, the First I’d Really Rather You Didn’t states, in part, “If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay.
      Really, I’m not that vain.” So, you see, belief in His Noodliness is not needed to get into heaven, either.

      Too bad that Chance will be condemned to stale beer and even more stale strippers when he/she gets to his/her “final reward.”

1 2 3 63

Leave a Reply