You sicken me with the fact that you now have my best friend believing in your stupid, sick, blasphemous crap you call a religion! I can tell you what it really is, BLASPHEMOUS, MADE DURING A DRUG BINGE, IDOLATRY THAT WILL HAVE YOU BURNING IN HELL OR ON THE TABLE AFTER THE LAST WAR!!!! I am furious about the fact that there is a religion DEVOTED to SIN OF ALL THINGS! If you don’t change you and all your followers will be in a special place in hell just for IDOL WORSHIPPING, SIN LOVERS LIKE YOURSELF!!! You disgust me and I hope you see the truth before it’s too late.
Antipastifarian,
Chance
I need more information on this “special place” in hell you refer to – will there be cake?
Interested,
-bobby
I have a dream.
I have a dream that one day we may be free of all cured meats, olives, peperoncini, mushrooms, anchovies, artichoke hearts, provolone, mozzarella, pickled meats and vegetables (both in oil or in vinegar). Free. Free of Antipastafarianism.
I’m officially founding the “Anti Hat Rack” Religion. What if we chose to not believe in anything at all? Metaphors, logic & convenient “rules of thumb” would be fine, but what would life be like if we didn’t believe literally in any of it, including science (I’m not referring to scientific method, just to “scientism” – as in believing that science is our salvation) politics, heroes, food groups, pyramid schemes, movements, psychological modalities, etc. I guess then a good symbol might be a hat rack which is “X’d” out. We could still have deep insights from religious practice, etc., but as methods rather than beliefs. Pema Chodron writes about this possibility in her book “Comfortable With Uncertainty.” Not that I’m necessarily up to the task….
What I love most about this is this line:
“I am furious about the fact that there is a religion DEVOTED to SIN OF ALL THINGS!”
Do they understand that without the belief in their “Christian God”, we have no real concept of ‘sin’. Also, did they not realise that there is a “religion devoted to sin” called Satanism?
If Chance is so opposed to “idol worshiping” I suggest he start by blowing up all the Madonna statues he sees in people’s front yards.
Then where will the violence end? Next, they’ll be blowing up Big Boy statues in front of burger joints. Or Lady Gaga statues in – wait, are there any of those?
Perhaps the producers of “American Idol” should get a restraining order.
Woo woo. All aboard the hell express. “There’s a train a’comin’!! Poor Chance. Methinks we’ll all be meeting up again down below for beer and nibbles! Who, I say, who, can meet the strict criteria required for safe passage upstairs? Suggested reading – The Year Of Living Biblically by AJ Jacobs.
RAmen
Studley.
Let him, who is without sin, cast the first meatball…….
Reverend M P,
Not a better quote could have been cited. I judge not others as To their beliefs but as to there actions. I’m not sure as to what the end will hold but should there be atolmennt for what we have done, I for one would look back and say I would not have changed a thing. If we to take all religions as truth and fact then heaven would be empty as al so all religions say believe as I do or go to hell.
If the all powerful being is going to fault me and condem me for a few mistakes then it is not the kind and forgiving being that is written about and I’ll have no part of it.
To quote from his noodliness
I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Build multi million-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/ Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick): A. Ending Poverty B. Curing Diseases C. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable. I Might Be A Complex Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM The Creator.
I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don’t Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.
I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This Through You Thick Heads: Woman=Person, Man=Person. Samey-Samey. One is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We’re Talking About Fashion And I’m Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal And Fuchsia
Words to live by.
Yours truly,
Rev. Mike
I wonder how many times we have to explain that threatening with hell won’t work as we don’t believe it exist…
Thank you for your concern John, but according to the bible you like to like to quote as proof of your belief, once an individual denies your god there is no turning back, no repenting, no salvation; did you miss that bit? Regardless of what your book says death is not the wages of sin but the price of life. Sin has nothing to do with our mortality, everything dies John, the birds and the bees, the flowers and the trees; as I write this I can look from my window and see the last of the dying plants in my garden and the last of the red and orange leaves still clinging to the trees and wonder, ‘what could they have done that so displeased your god that they too should die?’ Sorry John, you can plead for our ‘souls.’ all you like but it will make not an iota of difference. One thing you said is true however, one day we WILL be dead, as will you, so start to live while you still have time; forget jesus, he ain’t comin’.
One last thing, atheism isn’t about being tough, it’s about being rational; I’m not tough, I don’t welcome death as it means the end of being, no more time with the family I love and adore and admiring the wonders of the natural world that surrounds us all, but I can accept it; it’s the wages of life. I have said this many times John, but it can’t in my opinion be said enough, forget about an afterlife that exists only in your fear filled imagination and make the most of what is without any doubt whatsoever the only life you get.
May the Sauce be with you.
The Reverend
So faith is protoectionto money? Religion is just a racket, blackmailing people through threats of violence. If god existed he would be the gangster in chief.
So basically, “do what I say or die because an ancient book says so”. And since you seem to know me so well, what exactly have I done that I must account for to anyone, especially an invisible man in the sky? Being a little judgmental now, aren’t you? Doesn’t your book say something about that as well? Guess you better toddle off and account for that to your friend…
Thank you for your concern John, but according to the bible you like to like to quote as proof of your belief, once an individual denies your god there is no turning back, no repenting, no salvation; did you miss that bit? Regardless of what your book says death is not the wages of sin but the price of life. Sin has nothing to do with our mortality, everything dies John, the birds and the bees, the flowers and the trees; as I write this I can look from my window and see the last of the dying plants in my garden and the last of the red and orange leaves still clinging to the trees and wonder, ‘what could they have done that so displeased your god that they too should die?’ Sorry John, you can plead for our ‘souls.’ all you like but it will make not an iota of difference. One thing you said is true however, one day we WILL be dead, as will you, so start to live while you still have time; forget jesus, he ain’t comin’.
One last thing, atheism isn’t about being tough, it’s about being rational; I’m not tough, I don’t welcome death as it means the end of being, no more time with the family I love and adore and admiring the wonders of the natural world that surrounds us all, but I can accept it; it’s the wages of life. I have said this many times John, but it can’t in my opinion be said enough, forget about an afterlife that exists only in your fear filled imagination and make the most of what is without any doubt whatsoever the only life you get.
May the Sauce be with you.
The Reverend
It’s hard to add much of import to Rev. Toni’s eloquent “Thank you…” but I’m compelled to say that, likely, almost none of the Communicants and posters to this and similar threads have missed the direct influence of “Christian” education. And they appear to be intelligent enough to have come early to understand the real ideals of Christianity – humility, compassion, and tolerance – and the nearly complete absence of those virtues in any of the more aggressive of the Chance / Steve of God / john types. And that absence is, just, kind of, a killer. REPENT. Repent? For what? For being insufficiently respectful of your illiterate threats? For being disgusted by some lunatic evangelical who thinks his rivals for donations are a “cult”? For wondering why a pious respect for life at its inception isn’t maintained by a distressing number of cult chieftains as their young followers’ lives go forward? Why don’t you – John – spend your time reminding Pastor X to melt down his golden doghouse and repent????
Dear John,
As a reverend i ask you to consider the following:
Matthew 7
Judging Others
1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
You seem to be fond of scripture I was not sure if you had read these verses.
Sincerely,
Reverend Merciful pasta
Racketeering, specifically the ‘protection’ racket is defined as the DEMAND of currency (i.e. worship ) from businesses ( i.e. humanity) in exchange for the service (i.e. life everlasting ) of “protection” against crimes (i.e. damnation ) that the racketeers themselves instigate. (i.e. Original sin, hell, wrath)
“Heaven” has no extradition, which conveniently explains why god does not show him/her/it-self.
Look at the history of the Christian Church. They were HUGE into “indulgences”. Pay your fine and you can get away with murder. Literally.
Well said Rev Toni Rigatoni.
No small sense of seriousness is required when dealing with delicate matters of faith and the lack thereof.
You are beacon of marinara sanity and sauce in a delusional christian world hungry not for pasta but for fairy tale concoctions designed to soothe and confuse. You have done great service to your fellow men and women (and gays and pirates too). And remember, son, what matters is Pasta, family and country (open country, that is).
Yours nonetheless truly,
Vini Linguini
Reverend Toni Rigatoni’s sermons are packed with reason and logic. Both of these commodities are sorely needed in this delusional world. Thank you Rev for another outstanding contribution.
Atsap Revol
Thank you, Reverend Toni. That was a wonderful message. It inspires one to live without delusions, without fears of an imaginary afterlife life invented by religious control freaks. May you be filled with Marinara! Praise be to our loving FSM!
Reverend M P,
Not a better quote could have been cited. I judge not others as To their beliefs but as to there actions. I’m not sure as to what the end will hold but should there be atolmennt for what we have done, I for one would look back and say I would not have changed a thing. If we to take all religions as truth and fact then heaven would be empty as al so all religions say believe as I do or go to hell.
If the all powerful being is going to fault me and condem me for a few mistakes then it is not the kind and forgiving being that is written about and I’ll have no part of it.
Rules and regulations are to keep society under control as religions were and are today. I would like to think that for most, their moral compass does not need a man in fancy dress telling me to give him 10-15% of what I make to save me soul. I give more than that to those in need dire Ty and cut out the middle man with the pointy hat.
To quote from his noodliness
I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Build multi million-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/ Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick): A. Ending Poverty B. Curing Diseases C. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable. I Might Be A Complex Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM The Creator.
I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don’t Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.
I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This Through You Thick Heads: Woman=Person, Man=Person. Samey-Samey. One is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We’re Talking About Fashion And I’m Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal And Fuchsia
Words to live by.
Yours truly,
Rev. Mike