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your a stupid ass

Published March 3rd, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

Your a stupid ass and your religion is gay. Thats why god hates it and evne though he loves yu he hates ur gay and will kill you and all yoru followers. Your god is spaghetti, i ate spaghetti lasnt night. So, ha. Christian god is in teh sky, your is on a plate. Your guy doesnt even have brain let alone create things. Your stupid douchbag. This isnt a religion, its a belief. And you are standing in between you and gods yours love. I hope ur happy.

- Connor Fargus

Hmm…. seems fake.



450 Responses to “your a stupid ass”

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  1. Luke says:

    *You’re

  2. Bianca Lawrence says:

    Huh?

  3. Hellz says:

    Erm, If your gonna insult the religeon, at least learn to spell properly.
    THE SPAGHETTI MONSTER WILL EAT YOU XD RAWR O.O

  4. TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

    “your religion is gay”. Hey, Christian – I never have seen Jesus or the Pope wearing anything but a robe. That’s just a dress is disguise. What’s the matter with wearing pants like a man, eh?

  5. Jack says:

    Believe whatever you want, but our heaven has beer and strippers, and yours doesn’t! Praise FSM!

  6. SillyKiwiMan says:

    This is where I’m willing to go for Pascal’s wager. I’m not afraid of their hell, I’m scared shitless of missing OUR heaven. Actually, our hell sounds like some bloody good times I’ve had though, so either way it’s going to be better than being surrounded by their irritating, pious,uptight, everything-that’s-not-us-a-phobic, idiotic harp plucking angels. (assuming I had any slim chance of slipping by St Peter…)

    Yarrgh.

    • SillyKiwiMan says:

      Here’s our old (young) friend Zack in the news again.

      My apologies, this hit the news in my part of the world a couple of days ago, but seeing as I hadn’t seen anyone here mention it here, I thought it might have been bypassed by much of the “mainstream” media. Hence it may be old news.

      http://www.smh.com.au/world/teenager-creates-a-stir-as-religion-defies-science-20130126-2ddfl.html

      Good on him. This bloke has balls. Big, meaty balls. I hope his noodliness assists him with many touches of his noodly appendages.

      • TiltedHorizon says:

        I was reading up on Zack about a week ago, seems he got Ken Ham’s panties in a bunch, so much so he felt the need to post up a rant about Zack and all us brainwashed “atheistic evolutionists” on his “BS Answers in Genesis” site.

        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          TH, SKM, I wonder if the organization of the CoFSM would have room for establishing some kind of knightly order, sort of like the Knights of Malta (although maybe nicer?), to honor people like Zack? Who wouldn’t like to have “KHPIB” (Ken Ham’s…..) after their name????

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          Maybe the “Knights of Wednesday”, since Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti night, and Zack is a real prince?

        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          Brilliant!!!!

    • Alphy says:

      I don’t want to be raptured either. Fuck NO! Put me on the fast track to hell. Imagine forever singing nothing but fundy hymns to the big narcissist boogy man in the sky forever and ever. No, thanks! I don’t want to hang out in the clouds with that bunch of boring ignorant, narrow minded self-righteous fucks who’ll be pooping and pissing down on the rest of us. I am going to hell with all the other evil sinners, wine drinkers, beer drinkers, free thinkers, cigarette and marijuana smokers, intellectuals, secularists, humanists, socialists, agnostics, atheists, homosexuals, liberals, evolutionists, scientists. The flat earth society is just not for me. I’ll finally get to meet the old ‘heretics’ Coppernicus and Galileo. I’ve heard from a buddy of mine who came back from the dead, not geezuz, another one, that the beer in hell is awesome and they serve damn good Irish whiskey too. And; the caitlins are the most beautiful lasses ye’ve ‘er seen.

      • Gabe says:

        Needless of saying, It seems you’ve gotten a bad impression of Christians.

  7. TheProphetessPoop says:

    I am the prophetess. Let all men remain silent in my church for it is a sin for them to think or speak. I am calling those in the wilderness. I personally know the only true and living God. She is the beloved Fairy God Mother. She is sometimes referred to as SillySally. She is the Holy Mother of our Lord and Savior Simple Simon. She wants to touch your mind and “heart” with her Omnipotent Miraculous Magic Wand and make you silly. No one can enter into her heavenly palace except those who have been touched by her wand. Only the silly will be saved. Don’t be blinded by secularism, humanism and the Satanic tool of Science. All those who have been touched by her wand, her spiritual wand that she will spare not to chasten non-believers, have become silly. The very second she touches you with her wand you will see a great flash of light and hear her voice. When this happens you will be instantaneously saved from a life time of sin. You will be saved for all eternity, Instant redemption from “sin” which comes as a result of not believing in her. Some people might confuse her church with fundeism. But She is the true God and Simple Simon is her one and only true son who impregnated his own mother before he was born, Evil men killed him but the Fairy God Mother, Silly Sally, raised him from the dead and floated him up into heaven on a cloud. Believe me. This is religion I would not lie to you. I am perfect and all knowing. So, it is impossible for me to lie. “I would not have told you so if it were not true.

    Those who refuse the touch of her magic wand are doom to hell fire damnation for all eternity. So, don’t take Paschal’s wager and end up burning in hell. Get touched by her magic wand. Get sillied, get touched, for all eternity.

    Hear my words. For I am the Prophetess Poop!

    • Keith says:

      Odd. Given the title of the Prophetess I would have thought that somewhere in all of the verbage there would have some scatological references. At first I thought it was Alphy but given the lack of said references I suppose it must be someone else.

    • Wayne says:

      I have done some research into your words of wisdom, ProphetessPoop, and it seems that not only are your views on science in keeping with ours, so too is the fact that if you hadn’t told us, it would not be so.

      I met another man who claimed to be of the Fairy God flock, Fearless Phil from Bullshit Hill. He fervently believed that SillySally set the scene, and sallied the world with her Silly Wand.

      His Noodliness, the One True Glob, never told me this personally but He would want me to extend a warm, perfectly boiled Appendage full of Complex Carbohydrates toward SillySally, and indeed Simple Simon who once got very drunk with the FSM at a Pirates’ tavern in Jamaica somewhere, and lost all his doubloons, his watch and hat in a game of poker. MYBTBHNA!

  8. Dale says:

    To: All Haters
    RE: Hate Mail

    To whom this may concern, we have 2 words for you:

    SPELL. CHECK.

    Sincerely,
    The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

    • Apprentice Frederic says:

      Speaking of hate, I see from an article on the internet’s news that Tim Tebow has cancelled a talk at Robert Jeffress’s church in Dallas.

      The article remarked that “Jeffress has preached that gay sex is sinful, Mormonism is a cult and Islam promotes violence and pedophilia. He said Thursday that First Baptist was being mischaracterized as a “hate church,” and that the church’s teachings were consistent with historic Christian beliefs.” Not so fast, Jeffey baby, are you implying that historic Christian beliefs are pretty well admixed with hate?

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