1246115 Views
554 Comments

your a stupid ass

Published March 3rd, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

Your a stupid ass and your religion is gay. Thats why god hates it and evne though he loves yu he hates ur gay and will kill you and all yoru followers. Your god is spaghetti, i ate spaghetti lasnt night. So, ha. Christian god is in teh sky, your is on a plate. Your guy doesnt even have brain let alone create things. Your stupid douchbag. This isnt a religion, its a belief. And you are standing in between you and gods yours love. I hope ur happy.

– Connor Fargus

Hmm…. seems fake.



554 Responses to “your a stupid ass”

1 32 33 34
  1. john spaghetti says:

    Is Sam Harris a high official in your organization. Just guessing, but he might like to be an honorary
    high-offical of some sort. You might ask him.

    • The Sauceror says:

      Dear john spaghetti, Sam Harris is an atheist. Atheists rely on common sense, logic, reason, and — worst of all– physical observable evidence– to prove a point. We religionists reject all of the above, and replace them with blind faith and total ignorance. So, no, Sam Harris is not one of us. He is a religious fanatic in the Atheist religion.

      There’s no need to ask him— we just simply BELIEVE.

      • The Sauceror says:

        …… although, if I had to admit it, if I were looking for a true prophet to guide me to a lack of ignorance, Sam Harris would be that prophet.

  2. Rasputin says:

    Who’s Sam Harris?

    • The Sauceror says:

      Yeah. Right?

      • Rasputin says:

        Dear Sauceror, I’ve Googled Mr. Harris. I’d never heard of him. He hadn’t been born when I undertook theological training in Siberia during the 19th century.
        From his Wiki entry, it seems he’s a very fine thinker. Good bloke. His views about Islam (as reported in Wiki) represent clear thinking.
        Has he expressed views about our noodly Lord?

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Yes! Very tasty!

        • The Sauceror says:

          Sam Harris’ views are as yummy as a plate of fresh, hot, steaming plate of pasta, served with a brutally icy-cold IPA.

          …..mmmmm…..

  3. EXCELSIOR says:

    Atheists are all pig-headed stubborn spoil-sports that know nothing except the mechanics of the universe and don’t know that the gods created the universe for the express purpose of having fun! We Pastafarians will not have anything to do with them and we worship our God (FSM) just like all the other Theists do who are our friends just as long as they don’t make fun of our FSM. However, any Theist that makes fun of our FSM will incur our wrath and should be prepared for our counter-attack!

    • Rasputin says:

      Dear EXCELSIOR, are you the same contributor as “Excelsior”? The entry for Jan 27 at 2:27PM isn’t up to your usual standard.

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        Rasputin, I suspect that EXCELSIOR is Andrew on another tack.

        • Rasputin says:

          Dear Cap’n, you’re probably right.

    • The Sauceror says:

      Dear Excelsior, I could not agree with you more! The atheist religion is the greatest threat to PURE, blind, ignorant bliss that religion– and our flat Earth– has ever seen. I believe, without any evidence, that Sam Harris and his evil buddy, Richard Dawkins, are high priests in the Church of Atheism. Their intention, I believe, is to undermine thousands of years of unenlightened illiteracy, and to replace it with enlightened education. If they are successful, that means people may start walking around, critically thinking– FOR THEMSELVES!

      It was revealed to our divine prophet, Bobby, that “we are not an atheists’ club”. I absolutely agree. If you’ve noticed, Atheists are now unabashedly preaching their atheist prayers to their atheist god in public, without any fear of retribution from a cloud fairy or any other imaginary, unprovable deity. I’m glad that we are not a club for religious, extremist, rational thinking Atheists. We don’t need those Atheistic religious fanatics taking over our church.

      • Rasputin says:

        Thankyou, Sauceror. Richard Dawkins has no place in our doctrine.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      EXCELSIOR, during Roman times, Christians were rounded up and thrown to the lions or otherwise executed, not for believing in a false god, but, for being atheists. I’m confused; are Christians still atheists?

      • Rasputin says:

        Am I an atheist if I don’t believe in Zeus? Does that mean all Christians are atheists?
        (Also, I’ve just realised I’ve spent the last couple of years spelling “atheist” as “athiest”. Google Spellcheck was right all along.)

  4. Captain Birdseye says:

    Rasputin, it seems likely that our friend Andrew would have been thrown to the lions as an atheist, for denying that Jupiter existed. Obviously, as the Romans wisely insisted, there is equal evidence for the existance of all gods.

  5. EXCELSIOR says:

    Captain Birdseye,
    As you know, “All Gods were created equal”. That means that either all Gods are real, or else all Gods are imaginary! So the Gods of the Greeks, Romans, Jews, Mesopotamians, Celtics, Aztecs, etc. etc. Are just as real as each other. However, some Gods are “more equal than others” (As Orwel said so brilliantly). That means that the FSM is not only “more equal” but also “more real” than any of the other Gods!Glory to the FSM! Ramen!

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      EXCELSIOR, are you the real Excelsior? You seem far more pious than usual.
      If all gods are real, why did Christians reject the existance of Jupiter? Surely, if Santa is not real then neither is the Tooth Fairy, which means that Christians have always been atheists.

      • Rasputin says:

        Yeah, where’s regular Excelsior gone?

        • Saint Gnocchi says:

          Dear Brothers, Yes, where is the real Excelsior? Gotta find our friends! While we’re at it, let’s keep an eye out for Canoodle, since we seem to have mislaid him too. Let’s not get into bad habits like the Christians who are forever losing Jesus, then run about asking people “Have you found Jesus?”

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          I suspect that Excelsior is still pasticating Lilith. He may be gone for some time.

        • The Sauceror says:

          In the meantime, we can still play with this new Excelsior, can’t we?

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          If you want to play, you must be gentle!

        • Captain Hook says:

          Maybe he is below deck sleeping off a hangover. Or watching a borched mesom eat a fraudster.

        • The Sauceror says:

          Let us pray to our Noodly Lord and Savour that Excelsior is only sleeping off a hangover. Watching a borched mesom eat a fraudster is a type of visual trauma that one can never recover from. Although, it’s not nearly as disgusting as seeing a borched mesom pick its nose.

  6. Saint Gnocchi says:

    Hmmm. I know that is an old ‘un – that quip, (the missing Jesus) but it tickles me pink, Hehehe.

    • The Sauceror says:

      Isn’t pink an un-Kosher color for a Hasadick Jew’s black Zulu wife to be tickled?

  7. Saint Gnocchi says:

    Dear Sauceror, You may update that to: Hasidic Jew’s black-pink and Zulu optometrist wife and feminist firebrand. With strong white healthy African teeth.

  8. Saint Gnocchi says:

    And no, Rasputin, we will NOT discuss my sitting apparatus again, thank you very much.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Rasputin, I think that’s an invitation.

      • Rasputin says:

        Yeah, but maybe she’ll set the borched mesoms on me.

        • The Sauceror says:

          You’d like that, wouldn’t you?

1 32 33 34

Leave a Reply