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This is a real religion?

Published March 13th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

The government actually passed this BS as religion? You just did this so you can get tax cuts, your religion is based on christian hate because thats all i see you mocking on here, You might as well side with the church of satan who mocks their own belief, Just because youre too blind to be enlightened you have decided to scam all the atheists out there, in a way i have to side with you, because all of your followers are just as stupid as you are, nobody ever looks into history, philosophy or multiple religions before basing their faith, they always just side with hate and disbelief, when love is just the true meaning behind every religion, and science is formulated from the start of religion, it seems that your church and your followers will all go down the same stupid path, even if you are a teacher or a doctor you probably are a bad one at that, well except the church leader who is rolling in money from his t-shirts and probably initiation fees and getting tax cuts, what a smart way to scam atheist church goers, you might as well start the next jonestown massacre.

–Nick



564 Responses to “This is a real religion?”

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  1. JamesL says:

    You don’t know what BS is. I got part of my cock cut off with a knife when I was born and now cannot feel jack shit down there because of fucking stupid religious beliefs. THAT’S BS. You have a problem with someone running a fucking website? Bobby doesn’t get tax cuts, televangelists and other assholes like that do (as far as I know). Oh wait, too mush sense! Taking money from consenting and paying customers and giving them items in return isn’t scamming, dolt. That is what “buying” is! Our economy is solely based on it! If people bought dog shit for a million dollars, it’s not a scam, they chose to buy the dog shit! “Oh no, people are intentionally giving money to this website and are being shipped tangible clothes and merchandise THAT THEY WANTED for their money! CODE RED.”.

    Well, I’m probably going to finish up MGS1 now. I’m up to the part where Snake inputs the PAL code. Fucking classic game.

    • JamesL says:

      Update- I got up to MG REX and it’s kicking my ass. Anyone have a strategy against the missiles?

      How does that fucker survive being a POW in Iraq, being shot down in a chopper, being inside Metal Gear when it was destroyed, getting the shit kicked out of him by Solid Snake, being THROWN off the top of metal gear, and getting his face and upper body shot at WITH A FUCKING MACHINE GUN while he somehow manages to simultaneously drive AND shoot? Then he stands up and (spoilers ahead) dies of fucking FOXDIE? He’s like Rasputin on PCP!

  2. Cap'n Alfonse says:

    **BREAKING NEWS**

    In an unprecedented move, the United States government has announced that all religions must be “voted” on and subsequently “passed” to actually be considered a legal religion. This comes as shocking news to such fringe faiths as Hinduism, Judaism, and those wacky Wiccans always with their naked forest dancing.

    Secretary of State Hillary Clinton shouted at the press as she hurriedly ran by: “If a religion doesn’t receive enough votes all tax cuts are immediately suspended. All assets from the sale of t-shirts will be frozen. All trinkets, bumper stickers, and low quality incense will be confiscated and destroyed. Any animals pegged for ritualistic slaughter will be adopted by the St. Louis Zoological society….something…,” and then she was gone. Man, she’s fast.

    Later, a White House spokesperson clarified that: “A thorough investigation will be conducted on each religion that isn’t passed by the government, to ensure that no Jonestown-like massacres have taken place under the cloak of religious ritual.”

    In all, a shocking, silly day in Washington.

    Next on the news: Do you keep asparagus in your glove compartment? Why new heart studies suggest maybe it’s time you did.

    • Thomas L. Nielsen says:

      “….those wacky Wiccans always with their naked forest dancing.”

      Three questions: When? Where? Do they sell popcorn and soda*, or should I bring my own?

      Regards & all, and rAmen

      Thomas L. Nielsen
      Luxembourg

      *) The more pyratically correct hardtack & grog are, alas, probably out of the question…..

  3. Teh BenoiT says:

    lol, what this dude doesn’t realise is that a whole bunch of Satanists are Pastafarians and vice versa. I guess that would just freak him out even more. I mean in England Jediism is an actual government acknowledged religion. I mean, we have evidence, and Jediism is only based on the prophecies of George Lucas(and probably a few other people too) but I mean those scriptures are all they have. We are obviously the most logical religion, it is insulting he calls us BS.

    • Brian Fritzen says:

      With that in mind, do you think Emporer Palpatine used the Destruction of the Death Star by the terrorist/ freedom fighter Luke Skywalker as an excuse to invade Hoth? I mean, just on a rumour that Skywalker was there when in reality he was hiding in some cave in Dagobah.

      I can’t believe the entire might of the empire couldn’t find one man hiding in a cave. The Jedi hate our way of life, that is what it is.

    • Keith says:

      It’s weird when space opera is called religion but just look at Scientology. Then again, if all religion is based on fantasy one must accept Jediism and Scientology as religions.

  4. MAC says:

    You want to know the ONE THING that has always bothered me about the whole “The religious A.K.A. creationist Vs. science fight”? Why can’t the christian god (or any god for that matter) work through science to create the universe and all that we know? Is it so hard to believe that a being with unimaginable knowledge, wisdom, and power could/would use something like science to create everything; knowing that we humans have an unending drive for knowledge and understanding. I don’t doubt that any reasonable person could agree with this idea (at least consider it a possibility).

    As I write this I found something else that bothers me. This debate that started as what should be taught in science class has little to do with kids anymore. from my point of view the fight seems to be more about the religious feeling threatened by science and science trying to prevent it’s oppression (possibly it’s destruction) by the religious. to put it simple: science’s questioning make the overly zealous scared (“what if were wrong?!” that’s impossible! but what if…) so they lash out by trying to crush science. i may have wandered away from my points so I’ll repeat them:
    1. Why can’t god work thought science?
    2. How much of this debate HONESTLY has to do with kids’ education? My guess, very little.

    • Thomas L. Nielsen says:

      My personal answers:

      1. God CAN work through science, sure. So can Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and Jimmy Hoffa. It doesn’t change a thing. If you (or someone else) wants to believe that god (whichever) “works through science”, go ahead. But that doesn’t make it any more true, any more probable or any more likely that this god-thing exists, and it certainly doesn’t encourage me to believe in said god-thing.

      2. In the sense “what does this debate have to do with teaching ID in science classes” I tend to agree with you. Probably very little. But if you take “education” in a broader sense, to mean “how do we encourage and prepare kids to become valuable, positive and contributing members of society”, then I submit that “education” must include a warning against the dangers inherent in religion (e.g. willingness to believe the unbelievable on no evidence, blindness to facts and evidence, burning people at the stake, etc.) as well as an effort to make kids understand that “freedom of religion” includes the freedom not to have one. Taken in this context, I submit that the debate(-s) on this website have EVERYTHING to do with kids’ education.

      Just my two Pyratically correct dubloons worth…..

      Regards & all, and rAmen

      Thomas L. Nielsen
      Luxembourg

    • Brian Fritzen says:

      1. That is kind of what Carl Sagan said, “Why not look at the science and proclaim, “Oh my, my god is greater than I thought.”
      The one thing that bothers me is that then they will still try to include their bible in my science classroom and that is what this is all about. It takes us right back to Pascal’s Wager. Which god is controlling the science? Of course, here we KNOW it is his Noodliness.
      And I quote: “For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage.”

      2. This has tons to do with kids education. I have children and I have to explain to them (at 6 and 8 years of age) that some people like to pretend that there is a giant sky fairy (like in Tinkerbell) that watches over all of us. I have to go and have this conversation with my children because these people keep shoving their dogma down our throats. My kids don’t ask about Buddha, Hinduism, the Dao or Wicca. They only are curious about this invisible sky zombie on a stick. Excuse me, but I should be able to raise my kids and get them a sound education without the need for imaginary friends mucking it all up.

  5. MAC says:

    Oh I all most forgot to note that I differentiate between religion: An institution that was designed to answer the big questions like, “why are we here?” or “where do we go when we die?” and to instill a moral code in a group of people that, at the time (1000s of years ago), had none. and The Religious (particularly the overly zealous): The followers of an institution that was made 1000s of years ago for the reason aforementioned and, in all that time COULD have (keywords, “Could have”) changed, re-interrupted, or misunderstood the original answers/moral code to something else.

    may the FSM touch us all,
    RAmen.

    • tekHedd says:

      I guess I see what you mean.

      There are different kinds of religion, just like there are different kinds of drugs. There’s a difference between soft drugs (alcohol, pot) and hard drugs (heroin, crack). Some people just use a little to ease the pain of daily living, while others indulge heavily and often to tune out almost every aspect of the real world. Most recreational drugs cloud the mind to some extent; in fact, this is the whole point of recreational drugs. And if you do them you lose some of your judgment capability. You also risk becoming addicted. They can lead you to new and exciting revelations, but this comes at the cost of clarity.

      There are different kinds of religion, just as there are different kinds of drugs.

  6. Ahoy'oi' says:

    (pulls out soapbox)

    (stands on soapbox)

    Well, I certainly do enjoy reading all of the comments and ideas posted here. I am curious about the responses from some of our more “enlightened” friends that feel the need to express themselves so fervently. Do you come to this website to troll? Or are you secretly intrigued by the idea of the FSM? I find it humorous when you come here, of all places, to spout your religious fallacies. You’re likely not to find a sympathetic ear in this audience, yet you continue to try and reason with us and tell us to do research. It is research and reason that has converted most us from the maniacal zombie worship that is any form of christianity. (Intentionally left uncapitalized) These believers claim to be enlightened, when we all know that anyone with their head buried THAT deep in the sand will never see the light of day. Thomas Paine said it best with “To argue with a man who has renounced his reason is like giving medicine to the dead.” ATHEIST’S, AGNOSTIC’S, NONBELIEVER’s, stop wasting your time on these “enlightened” people. You may as well go to church if you have that much time to waste. No, on second thought, don’t do that. We needn’t build up religions’ ego any further. Religion is a tumor on society and it needs to be excised IMMEDIATELY before the corruption spreads any further. People suggest the idea “to each his own”. Thats fine until some “faithful” (delusional?) maniac hi-jacks a plane and directs it into the nearest high-rise or someone decides to picket a young soldiers funeral because “god hates fags”. This can never be a god (again intentionally left uncapitalized) for me or my children. These religious fanatics should be locked in a padded cell for some of the garbage they “believe”, and if their insanities were not based on religion, they would have been locked up. Now a note to you “enlightened” few. Do your own research before you waste your time and bandwidth on posting here. I am not talking about the bible either. I am talking about something that is truly inerrant. Something credible. Something that will give you some real FACTS. Something that will increase your intelligence as opposed to retarding it.

    (steps down from soapbox)

    Good day.

    • MAC says:

      Wow that’s the closest thing I’ve seen to real hate on our (the Pastafarian) side of the fence. To say that we should rid the world of religion is rather harsh. Many religions teach compassion, patience, and human decency. The problem sits with religions extreme follows. The ones that treat their beliefs as supreme law, the morel tales form their holy text (like Moses and the ark) as fact, and use their faith as a poor justification for prejudice/violence. Those are the people we should lock up. They are the ones we should worry about.

      Back when I was atheist (Now Pastafarian) people would ask me if i hated religion and my rely was, “I don’t hate religion, just it’s zealous followers.”

      • Brian Fritzen says:

        In the words of John Lennon,
        “Imagine there’s no Heaven
        It’s easy if you try
        No hell below us
        Above us only sky
        Imagine all the people
        Living for today

        Imagine there’s no countries
        It isn’t hard to do
        Nothing to kill or die for
        And no religion too
        Imagine all the people
        Living life in peace …”

        Non deist countries tend to be the most peaceful. See Tibet, Finland, Sweden, Denmark, Japan.

        NOTHING to kill or die for. So, if that means getting rid of the religions then so be it. But you can’t do it forcefully, rather, just let them die their natural death (as religions do).

        Many atheists teach compassion, patience and human decency…. no deities required, no membership fees, no tax evasion, no brainwashing, no time wasted praying to a non existent entity.

        What does religion cost us? Imagine no dark ages…. where would we be technologically speaking…. Imagine all the minds that have been silenced in the name of religion. Or those minds that have stopped thinking because of fundamentalism?

        Delusion is a problem for all of us. It is an infection, a cancer on humanity and it drives people to the most bizarre extremes. Just look at Gay rights in the USA. What is the purpose of denying a citizen the same rights as everyone else just because an ancient text says what they do is wrong? Think about what you are saying. We have morals WITHOUT a god or gods, religions really aren’t needed.

      • Atsap Revol says:

        Stories about mushrooms (Morels) form their Holy text? No wonder these fundies are fucked up. :)

        AR

      • tekHedd says:

        Moderates are the power base that enables the radicals.

        Example: this angry Pastafarian comment wouldn’t exist if it were not for the millions, if not thousands, of moderate, accepting Pastafarians.

        Similarly, posts with mediocre grammar are the power base that enables lolcats. You probably think the occasional typo or misplaced apostrophe isn’t all that important; but, you’re enabling the radical pidgin posters who use caps lock with abandon and treat vowels, punctuation, and verbs as unimportant, optional parts of the language.

      • I'm Brian and so's my wife. says:

        “Many religions teach compassion, patience, and human decency. The problem sits with religions extreme follows.”

        That’s like saying we should only treat angry, violent drunks for alcoholism, and encourage the one’s that are jolly and daft.

        Religion is a delusion and the willing abandonment of reason is a problem no matter how it manifests itself.

    • spammyboy says:

      If one man says he hears voices and knows the meaning of life, that’s delusion. If two men say that, it’s religion.
      RAmen

  7. Metal Head says:

    And to think that I used to try to convert people to xtianity. Did I sound like this clown?

    • Brian Fritzen says:

      Most likely. But you have seen the error of your ways. And you have found your way to true enlightenment.

  8. matematik says:

    what this dude doesn’t realise is that a whole bunch of Satanists are Pastafarians and vice versa. I guess that would just freak him out even more. I mean in England Jediism is an actual government acknowledged religion. I mean, we have evidence, and Jediism is only based on the prophecies of George Lucas(and probably a few other people too) but I mean those scriptures are all they have. We are obviously the most logical religion, it is insulting he calls us BS.

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