906681 Views
547 Comments

This is a real religion?

Published March 13th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

The government actually passed this BS as religion? You just did this so you can get tax cuts, your religion is based on christian hate because thats all i see you mocking on here, You might as well side with the church of satan who mocks their own belief, Just because youre too blind to be enlightened you have decided to scam all the atheists out there, in a way i have to side with you, because all of your followers are just as stupid as you are, nobody ever looks into history, philosophy or multiple religions before basing their faith, they always just side with hate and disbelief, when love is just the true meaning behind every religion, and science is formulated from the start of religion, it seems that your church and your followers will all go down the same stupid path, even if you are a teacher or a doctor you probably are a bad one at that, well except the church leader who is rolling in money from his t-shirts and probably initiation fees and getting tax cuts, what a smart way to scam atheist church goers, you might as well start the next jonestown massacre.

–Nick



547 Responses to “This is a real religion?”

1 22 23 24 25 26 28
  1. WhatyMcWhaterson says:

    ” . . . nobody ever looks into history, philosophy or multiple religions before basing their faith, they always just side with hate and disbelief . . .”
    Kinda of like fundamental christians, right?

    • Scurvy Bob Lewis says:

      Surely most religious people just go to the church/mosque/temple their parents go to and either stick with it or reject it when they grow up.probably more difficult to stick with it if you choose science (especially biology) at school.

      • Eric the Faithful says:

        Fact! You are what you know. If one is brought up in an environment where the safety of ones soul is dependent on spreading a certain dogma, this is most likely your fate. The beauty of the individual is; you are in charge of your own fate. Pastafarianism is a peaceful celebration of life and liberty. While our beliefs may seem strange to the charismatics, our serenity is well worth the effort of supporting this fine way of living. Peace

  2. Nikki says:

    Please tell me he did not bring Jonestown into this…

    Makes me feel sick to just think about it…

    Worst.comparison.ever.

    Noodles!

  3. Blaise Baal says:

    - this is not Bull, this is genuine. Had some Mormon’s knock at the door asking me about religion. I turned to them and said “Sorry guys, I have found a great religion and I am standing by it.” What is that religion? They asked. “I am a Pastafarian. I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster.” Their faces were priceless. Funny thing was, the 2nd guy giggled a bit, like MY religion was fake!

  4. Ryan says:

    For this idiot:
    The reason it’s a religion is to show that even the most “BS” ((bullshit) quote) of religions CAN actually become a religion! And I’m not talking about this religion. *whispers* christianity

  5. Harry says:

    Our religion is not based on christianity, our god is real.

  6. Rameninator says:

    If you can be a jedi, you can be a Pastafarian. Amirite?

  7. Sarclown says:

    “what a smart way to scam atheist church goers”

    WTF is an athiest church goer!?!

    • Reverend Captain Mal says:

      Sometimes I go to church. Why pay for a comedy show when you can get on for free?

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      I go to the Elbonian Atheist church. It’s right next to the Korean Baptists’. We sit around and talk about nothing.

      • Atsap Revol says:

        Sometimes I slip into a Baptist church before services. I smoke a cigar and let a few farts to improve the ambience for the congregation. It gets rid of the stale musty odor of hypocrisy.

        Baptists aren’t supposed to have sex standing up because it might lead to dancing.

        I’m not just picking on Baptists. Send me the name of your religion and I’ll give you equal time.

        Atsap Revol, Bishop of Blasphemy

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          I used to do that in order to understand the difference between religions, and I think I have it figured out.
          1) The Jews don’t recognize Jesus Christ
          2) Baptists don’t recognize the Pope.
          3) Lutherans don’t recognize each other in the liquor store.

        • Keith says:

          And Catholics are the only ones who go to heaven.

        • Atsap Revol says:

          Other ways to identify members of various religions:

          1) Jews won’t eat porkchops
          2) Mormons wear magic underwear
          3) Catholics count beads on a string
          4) Baptists won’t drink alcohol.
          5) Muslims believe that Mohammed flew from Mecca to Jerusalem on a winged horse.
          6) Seventh Day Adventists tend to be vegetarians
          7) Christian Scientists don’t believe in disease
          8) Jehovah’s Witness believe that there’s room for only 144,000 souls in heaven
          9) Snake handlers handle poisonous snakes
          10) Hindus charm them
          11) Buddhists believe in reincarnation
          12) Pastafarians are objective and charming
          13) Who did I leave out?

          Atsap Revol, Bullshit Buster

        • Keith says:

          Scientologists shell out massive amounts of money to be told cheesy space operas.

        • Atsap Revol says:

          Oh yeah! How did I overlook scientology? That “religion” offers some truly unctuous bullshit. But how can we question the wisdom of several Movie Star adherents? L. Ron Hubbardism is about as batshit crazy as Millsboro Baptistism. Then there is Pat Robertsism which is a category not surpassed by any ordinary bullshit.

          Atsap Revol, Cardinal of Convoluted Charismatic Creepy Crap

        • Omnipotent Zombie says:

          Ok: I challenge you to do a Anunnaki joke, Atsap. You might have to get creative with that one

        • Atsap Revol says:

          OZ, the Anunnaki are directly, historically related to the “Shaverian Mysteries” and of course tangentially related to Scientology. The Sumerians should receive credit for advancing batshit craziness to an art form. It’s likely that most people have some Anunnaki DNA because interbreeding with human females continues even today. Just view the Anunnaki as another of God’s failed experiments. The Great Flood wiped them out with most of mankind, but God continued kicking their asses out of heaven postdeluge. They walk among us still!

          Personally, I prefer Farting Chocolate Dudeism as a source of religious inspiration.

          AR

        • Keith says:

          Zecharia Sitchin got it wrong. The tenth planet orbited Earth in 1986. Its inhabitants were not the Annunaki: they were called Cybermen.

        • Scurvy Bob Lewis says:

          @Keith. I did exactly the same thing to go and see the 3 Star Wars prequels. Taking a couple of Scientology courses might have been better use of my cash.

        • Keith says:

          I watched the first Star Wars film at the cinema in 1977 and enjoyed it. I watched the second Star Wars film on TV. That was enough for me.

        • Inge says:

          You talking about Scientologists?
          My Son and a friend went downtown, where those creeps had a huge show-tent in order to catch new clientle.
          They offered the boys a tryout on their diagnostic machine. The friend agreed, let himself be connected with the apparatus and was told to think of the biggest problem in life he had.
          He thought intensely….of a buttered bread. Crisp tasty German dark bread with a good wood-oven crust. creamy yellow mountain butter, fresh from the farm.

          Of course he was told that his problem was enormous, his negative reactions intense and the only way out was a long and costly stretch of sessions with the Scientology….

  8. o'brady says:

    atheist church goer? sounds akin to nondenominational secularism…brilliant.

    praise be to raptor jebus

1 22 23 24 25 26 28

Leave a Reply