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This is a real religion?

Published March 13th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

The government actually passed this BS as religion? You just did this so you can get tax cuts, your religion is based on christian hate because thats all i see you mocking on here, You might as well side with the church of satan who mocks their own belief, Just because youre too blind to be enlightened you have decided to scam all the atheists out there, in a way i have to side with you, because all of your followers are just as stupid as you are, nobody ever looks into history, philosophy or multiple religions before basing their faith, they always just side with hate and disbelief, when love is just the true meaning behind every religion, and science is formulated from the start of religion, it seems that your church and your followers will all go down the same stupid path, even if you are a teacher or a doctor you probably are a bad one at that, well except the church leader who is rolling in money from his t-shirts and probably initiation fees and getting tax cuts, what a smart way to scam atheist church goers, you might as well start the next jonestown massacre.

–Nick



554 Responses to “This is a real religion?”

  1. Mouq says:

    It seems as though anyone who looks through the site, a book, or, heaven forbid, ask about the religion comes to realize that, hey!, this is pretty cool, or at least understand that this is has nothing to with hate… It also seems that those who don’t bother to do any (significant) research tend to write their letters as quickly and as badly as they make their judgments.

    Also, why is it only Christians I see sending protestant mail? I’m genuinely curious.

    • StJason says:

      Personally, I’d love to get some Buddhist Hate-mail. Maybe some Ancestor Worshipers can write in and tell us how retarded we are being not worshiping someone who we are related to…

      • Zuri says:

        LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        Mouq, the hate mail is sent by *extremist* Christians who don’t know how to take a joke. You know that,right?

    • robert mulryan says:

      actually, i don’t see any catholics sending protestant mail. if they did, they’d probably get car-bombed…likewise, vise versa! (That’s Latin…)

      • robert mulryan says:

        sorry, “vice”…i knew i should’ve paid more attention to those damned nuns…

  2. Brian Fritzen says:

    Wait, wait wait…. Believing in an invisible sky zombie on a stick = enlightenment.

    Understanding the Big Bang, Evolution, and sense and reason =/= enlightenment.

    Boy have you got your ideas crossed.

  3. lilwench says:

    Dear Nick,

    Take a look at your keyboard. Immediately to the right of the “comma” key you apparently love so well, is another key, with a round dot on it. It’s called a “period.” Please take the time to note the position of this key, and consult your English teacher or an English language reference book on its usage.

    RAmen.

    • Lauri says:

      Dear Nick,
      I am guessing that you are not a Christian either. You can spew all that “BS” and call my daughter names.
      That is not God’s love coming out of your mouth; it is BS. May I suggest that you unclench and pull the stick
      out of your ass and grow a sense of humor!
      Perhaps take an English class at night school.

  4. teenager says:

    You obviously don’t understand pastafarianism if you believe it’s the work of satan. It’s not to get tax cuts from the government, if you actually took the time to read about it you’d understand what Pastafarianism stands for. It’s a religion that makes fun of Christianity but it’s just to show the school system that every religion has the right to be taught in school, you know that class called World Religion. Why must they only teach such religions as Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism etc. Every religion has the right to be taught in school. So you can continue to hate on Pastafarianism but it just shows your how you reflect your life on the teachings of what it means to be a “good christian” and this is me mocking you and all of the Christian church’s hypocrisy for that’s what drove me to leave the church. Fucking hypocrites.
    Sincerely, A High School Senior

    • Kelli says:

      i really hope you change your views, Hell is a terrible place.

      • TiltedHorizon says:

        Ah. It’s a stone thrower. Looks like I’ll be saving you a seat next to me in hell.

      • Mike says:

        Fortunately there is no Hell. It is a fairly-tale made up by the purveyors of nonsense to keep the gullible in line. Apart from the fact that eternal punishment can only serve the purpose of vengeance (it’s not going to rehabilitate of change future behaviour, is it?) and is thus completely at odds with a loving, merciful (or even just) God, it’s a logical impossibility even for Magic Man.
        One of the many advantages of Pastfarianism is not having to waste my life worrying about such rubbish.

        Ramen.

      • puppygoogoo says:

        Kelli,

        Do you know where hell is or have you been previously? If yes where is it so i can go. Also by your point wont the ‘devil’ be happy with us and therefore give us a ‘VIP’ style package? Hope to hear from you.

        puppygoogoo

      • Sean Boyd says:

        So true. Imagine…a volcano of stale beer AND syphilis-infested strippers. The horror.

        • Tiggy Morris says:

          So basically, Sean, hell is at Kelli’s house?

      • Drained and Washed Clean says:

        And Thor’s hammer hurts really hard when he hits you for not believing in him!

        Were you scared by that?

        Exactly.

        • Zuri says:

          If you told me that I wouldn’t be scared. Why? Because I DON’T BELIEVE IN THOR.
          In case you don’t remember me, I am the little girl who you thought was just a really stupid adult at first. I could sit here and type and type about all the horrors of hell, but would you be scared? No. It would just sound like a was telling a fairy tale of a terrible place to you. Furthermore, if you told me the FSM was going to throw me into a pot of boiling water for not believing in him, I’d say, “Yeah, right. You’re not scaring me.”
          Some people have a hard time understanding there are people who have an opposite opinion than them. It’s unthinkable to those idiots. I deal with them every day.

      • MAC says:

        There’s another thing that get repeated, more than a broken record on crack, that whole “hell reminder”. It’s like every single person that says it automatically assumes that we already believes in hell (or same hell). I sure many will agree that hell is an unpleasant place but disagree that’s filled with overly cute creatures, rainbow colored donkeys telling light bulb jokes, and ignorant people that plug their ears while shouting, “LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU” when one tries to have an intelligent debate.

      • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        Luckily for us, hell is also an imaginary place, Kelli. Just like heaven. Ask anyone who is so certain they exist if they’ve ever been to either.

      • Rev Toni Rigatoni says:

        Kelli, it’s poinless trying to scare people with something they don’t believe in. Would it scare you if I threatened you with a giant Wicca man because you don’t believe in witchcraft or of being struck down with a giant hammer because you deny Thor? Of course not, and another thing, I assume you have been to hell as you’re such an expert? Or are you just taking the BS you have been brainwashed with as the truth yet again? Heaven and hell are what you make of your life here on earth in the short time you have here, wasting that life waiting for the rapture that isn’t going to happen is your hell, a hell of your own making. Wake up lass, while you still have time to enjoy the heaven that awaits you when the blindfold of religion is removed from your eyes. I really hope you change your views, hell is a terrible place. I know I HAVE been there.

        May the sauce be with you all,

        The Reverend

        • Rev Toni Rigatoni says:

          Sorry Drained and Washed Clean, replied to Kelli’s post before I read yours, still, it proves the old adage of ‘great minds thinking alike’ eh?

          Rev

        • Drained and Washed Clean says:

          Absolutely! Unless you are in my classroom, then we revert to Patton “If everyone is thinking the same, someone isn’t thinking”. But I think the case is exactly opposite here :)

    • Leader says:

      You know what? America is One Nation, under GOD. We are a Christian-based country and if you people don’t like that, move to a communist country. Don’t try to change the countries views, or they should just kick you out.

      • TiltedHorizon says:

        You left out “with liberty and justice for all”. The word ‘all’ means these principles are afforded to EVERY AMERICAN, regardless of race, religion, color, creed, or any other criteria. If you don’t like it, move to a communist country. Don’t try to change a founding principle or they should just kick you out.

        Speaking of founding principle, the original Pledge of Allegiance written in 1892 read as follows:

        I pledge allegiance to my Flag, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.

        The word ‘god’ was not added until 1954.

        • Antigen says:

          To add, ‘god’ is not the name of a specific deity. It is actually just an English term which comes from a germanic term ǥuđan, which in turn has its root in another germanic term ǵhau(ə)- meaning “to call” or “to invoke”. It can represent any single deity whether monotheistic or polytheistic all over the globe.

        • Pirate Dan says:

          I agree with you, but I do have to make one correction….”with liberty and justice for all” does not mean for every American, it means for every PERSON! Our Constitutional protections and rights apply to all people, whether citizens or not.

        • Keith says:

          If “with liberty and justice for all” applies equally all people, even those who do not live in America, it seems awfully presumtuous to me

        • JamesL says:

          Yeah, they did a lot of that shit during the red scare. I wasn’t around. but man, what a fucking stupid thing that whole “evil empire” shit was. We had fucking missiles pointed towards them too! Oh wait, the difference is that theys dem commanists and weer amurica!

        • Jakob says:

          were i the only one that wondered about the connection between “not being christian” and “being communist”

      • Mike says:

        Another example of ignorant Christian revisionism. Why don’t you actually go and READ your Constitution? And if you don’t like it, go move to another county. Like Yemen, maybe, where your philosophy will be greatly appreciated. Might have to trade sky-daddy though.

        • Darth Vader says:

          Don’t dis Yemen.

      • Jayde says:

        I can’t move out of America because I’ve never been there. Sorry if that’s beside the point, but I just have to say that “you people” don’t all live in America. There are Pasterfarians everywhere! Hello my fellow pirates; may his Noodly Appendage unite us all :D

        When did all secular countries become communist?

        • tekhedd says:

          About the same time that Hitler and the Nazis became atheists and North Korea became secular, I think…

      • tekhedd says:

        He’s right! It’s oppressive to not have FSM as the state religion! We should destroy the Bill of Rights, with all its talk of “equality,” and open the door for a rich era of free speech…for Pastafarians only.

        “Rise up and destroy our oppressive Constitution!” …um… no, I don’t see people rallying around that one.

      • darkstar says:

        Leader:

        1) Please provide a listing of the exact Christian principles this country was founded upon.

        2) Please provide examples from the Constitution’s text that clearly demonstrate where these principles are located and executed.

        3) Please provide a complete and concise dissertation that demonstrates beyond a doubt that these principles are intrinsic to Christianity alone.

        I require numerous sources and the proper citations within your analysis.

        • Mike says:

          Why no reply from Leader, do you think?

        • Zuri says:

          (in response to Mike) Because he doesn’t know what he’s talking about and can’t defend his claim.
          But we all knew that already.

      • Insightful Ape says:

        I know hell is a terrible place. It say so so many places right there is the Koran. And it is reserved for anyone thinking this god thing had a son.

      • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        “Don’t try to change the countries views, or they should just kick you out.”

        First of all, you ignorant hick, that should by “country’s”. Now that we’ve established your (low) level of intelligence, let’s look at your ignorance of how a democracy works.

        A democracy is where the wishes of the majority are made law where they do not impose on the inate rights of the minority. Trying to change people’s views is an important part of this. So, if you really want to live in a country where people are forced into blind obedience, I contend it’s YOU who are un-American, and should find a totalitarian state that accomodates you. Perhaps North Korea.

        P.S. Can you give evidence for the “under God” part? No where is he mentioned in the Constitution.

        • Peter says:

          “One nation under god” is in the pledge of allegiance which all students in the US (I’m pretty sure it’s all) are required to say everyday. Being one of those students I can say that very few actually do. It’s mostly a time to put your hand over your heart and look at your friend on the other side of the room and make weird faces.

        • Brian Fritzen says:

          No Peter, it isn’t a requirement. In fact, within the school district where I teach it isn’t mentioned at all in the pledge. The pledge is repeated every day in my school without the words “under god.” It is a matter of simplicity really. Our district is so diverse with students of every conceivable religion (we have taken in our share of Lost Boys). It was therefore expedient to just eliminate the phrase because the pledge is about America, not her religions.

        • Peter says:

          I’m sure that’s true in many places, but in Texas…
          We even have a pledge to the Texas flag, no joke. They’re both required to say every morning. It’s really quite a time waster. Perhaps, if we didn’t spend so much time saying stupid pledges, Texans wouldn’t be so stupid because they’d actually be learning things. I’m not trying to say that everybody from Texas is stupid, some of my friends are very smart, but quite a few are very unintelligent, especially in the highly conservative, mainly christian community where I’m not very proud or honoured to say I come from.

        • grammarpolice says:

          When correcting folks and hitting them with “ignorant hick” labels, mebbe don’t try a typo in your first line, and try joining no and where in the last line… Yours in sauce(iness)

      • RB says:

        One of the main faults of americans like your self, or rather I should say people of the united states of america since the word ‘American” in proper usage refers to any person who lives in either north or south amercia, not a land which makes up only a portion of it, is the believe that everyone else must be american…

      • Danimal says:

        Dear Leader…. No wait that makes you sound too much like Kim Jong Il. How about:
        Herr Leader…. No scratch that one.
        OK I’m having a hard time not making you sound like a dictator but based on your post maybe that’s what you’re going for.

        Here is a quote from the Constitution of the United States of America,

        “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.”

        We are a secular country and if you fundies don’t like that, move to a theocracy.

        • I'm Brian and so's my wife. says:

          I’ve always found it curious that the term “Fundamentalists” gets shortened to “Fundies” rather than the far more appropriate “Mentals”.

        • Keith says:

          It would be more appropriate in my opinion to shorten it to “Fundaments”, since they are all arseholes.

      • Tiggy Morris says:

        From where did your family emigrate? I’m sure they weren’t always a “Christian-based country.” They probably were Pagan less than 2,000 years ago.

        You are what you eat, and you eat Jesus’ flesh at mass.

      • Drained and Washed Clean says:

        You know what?
        ** What?!?
        America is One Nation, under GOD.
        ** First you should probably note that your fun little phrase was not added until the 1950′s. Not in the original. Second, which one? Zeus, Thor, Vishnu, Osiris, Mithra, Horace, Ginesha to name very few. And who gets to determine which one is the right one? As a matter of fact, how can you prove that there is even a god with which to have one nation under and argue about? Are you the authority? What degrees to you posses that qualify you as the authority? What evidence do you have?
        We are a Christian-based country
        ** No, we are a FREEDOM of religion based country. Or should we read the Constitution like those Founding Fathers were reading the Declaration of Independence “all men are created equal”… Yet they kept slaves?
        and if you people don’t like that, move to a communist country.
        ** Do you even have an inkling of an idea what communism is? Perhaps you should look words up before you start throwing them around. Religion has nothing to do with an economic system.
        Don’t try to change the countries views,
        ** So you think our country has the view that xianity should be the only religion allowed here? There are many who would vehemently disagree. And if think countries that are run by religion shouldn’t be challenged, perhaps you should look at what goes on in Iran. Killing women, subjugating women, killing homosexuals, suppressing choice and voice. Your right. Religious countries shouldn’t be questioned.
        or they should just kick you out.
        ** So, the people you pick to kick out of the country are the ones who disagree with you? Not the rapists and murderers. People who disagree. I have a better idea. How about the people who fail to learn or study the actual history of this country and only want to use the Constitution when it is convenient for them leave the country. Those who don’t want to follow the law and have no respect for the Constitution should go find a place where the laws allow them to tell everyone to believe like they do. You have fun there with your idea of freedom because it definitely isn’t the “all” referred to in the same Pledge you quote.

        • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

          America used to be many nations under the Great Spirit. Then those wonderful Christians came along and basically massacred the “savages”. If it was up to people like the Lose…I mean Leader, there could very well be other forced conversions.

          I was taught the conquistadors’ principle was “God, gold and glory”. God came in a distant third.

        • Drained and Washed Clean says:

          We are studying art history in my classroom this year, and it is mind boggling how many civilizations xianity has destroyed. The list just keeps growing…

      • Zuri says:

        My,my. Looks like you ave another bonehead on your heads.
        Hey pea-brain, and justice for ALL. It also says in the Constitution, “Freedom of religion”. That means these people here have the right to be Pastafarian. Or is that not getting through your thick skull?

      • san p. says:

        hey, it’s Red Forman!

      • wulff says:

        Sorry, read your history. According to the Treaty of Tripoli, written by Thomas Jefferson in 1796, we are NOT an x-tian nation, and separation of church and state IS the law of the land.

        “Art. 11. As the Government of the United States of America is not, IN ANY SENSE, founded on the Christian religion,” (caps added by me for emphasis).

  5. Insightful Ape says:

    “…love is just the true meaning behind every religion…”
    Wait a second. Then how come that doesn’t cover ours?
    What part of “every” don’t you understand?

    • tekhedd says:

      Anyway, it’s not true. An attempt to explain the unknown combined with fear of the dark is the true meaning behind every religion.

      Ours explains everything beautifully. Maybe there’s not enough fear and blood in it for some people?

  6. PirateOnPtree says:

    The point of satire is to separate the people who get it from the people who don’t.

  7. Lioss says:

    Pastafarianism is not based on christian hate,it is based on the hate of everyone who wants to impose any dogma at school.
    I don’t want my child learn creation at school,maybe you wouldn’t like your children learn about the milk sea (hindouism belief) at school.Why a religion should be treat as THE TRUTH,and not the others?
    Yes you can buy FSM tee-shirts,I often see jewel with cross or Fatima’s hand,tee-shirt “Jesus is my lord” and many stuff like that.I see the pope and all his wealth…Does it annoy you?
    Look into history,in 1320 catholics killed franciscans cause they said Jesus was poor so christians should be poor,they like money so much since so long.Why don’t you attack them on that?You would find more matter than on pastafarianism.

    • MAC says:

      I found this quote from Jesus, ” I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” Now from this and what Lioss has stated this would mean that, ironically the pope (a man that is suppose to be equal to or slightly less than the holiness of Jesus) would have a harder time getting into his heaven than the average beggar.

      • MAC says:

        on the basis that the pope has more wealth than said beggar.

  8. bigjohn756 says:

    He is talking about the Christian religion, is he not? Or, maybe Islam. Hard to tell since they are all pretty much the same.

    • Kelli says:

      They’re very different, maybe you should research..If the most important question in the world is “WHY are we all here??” (which i believe alot of people think) than why would you spend you’re whole life wasting it, not finding out the reason?

      • TiltedHorizon says:

        I know, right. Both have a basis in Judaism, use and quote from sacred texts, contain religious laws, believe in a single creator, believe in angles and demons, believe in Heaven and Hell, believe themselves being the sole means of salvation, have religious leaders and major rituals, observe holidays and use symbols as part of their rituals.

        I don’t understand how anyone can confuse the two.

      • puppygoogoo says:

        Kelli,

        Hello again, i did some ‘research’ and the major difference between the 2 is the prophet Mohamed and his teachings. Even Jesus gets a run in their scriptures. So unfortunately there is not much difference. Now as for the statement “If the most important question in the world is “WHY are we all here??” (which i believe alot of people think) than why would you spend you’re whole life wasting it, not finding out the reason?” I believe, yes i used that word, that most christians stop looking as they think they have found the answer. Doesn’t that put them in the wasting it category?

        Puppygoogoo

        • Darth Vader says:

          I just think that the answer to why are we here is 42.

      • Noodlity says:

        Indeed, what about those of us, few as we may be, who have already discovered the answer to that question?

        (pro tip – it doesnt’ feature gods)

        Should we now *start* wasting our lives instead?

      • Insightful Ape says:

        Actually…they give the exact same reason for that (to please god).
        Or maybe you haven’t done your research?

      • Danimal says:

        Kelli,
        I don’t know about you but I’m here for the cookies. Holy shit do I love cookies.
        Danimal

      • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        The answer just might be “it just happened”. What makes you think there has to be a reason? And what makes you think the reason HAS to be that a supreme being had to have some pets to kiss his kiester?

      • Metal Head says:

        Kelli, you’re here because your daddy didn’t have the foresight to use a condom. Nothing supernatural about that.

      • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        Good news/bad news, Kelli!
        Good news: I found out why I exist.
        Bad news: Apparently it’s to feed the cat.

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