This is a real religion?

Published March 13th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

The government actually passed this BS as religion? You just did this so you can get tax cuts, your religion is based on christian hate because thats all i see you mocking on here, You might as well side with the church of satan who mocks their own belief, Just because youre too blind to be enlightened you have decided to scam all the atheists out there, in a way i have to side with you, because all of your followers are just as stupid as you are, nobody ever looks into history, philosophy or multiple religions before basing their faith, they always just side with hate and disbelief, when love is just the true meaning behind every religion, and science is formulated from the start of religion, it seems that your church and your followers will all go down the same stupid path, even if you are a teacher or a doctor you probably are a bad one at that, well except the church leader who is rolling in money from his t-shirts and probably initiation fees and getting tax cuts, what a smart way to scam atheist church goers, you might as well start the next jonestown massacre.


588 Responses to “This is a real religion?”

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  1. Daniel Williams says:

    Heee heee, I hope all these people attacking the FSM Pastafarian belief for how ridiculous it is …now realize how ridiculous their water trod-ding son of himself from a Virgin with intact hymen is….c’mon how does it feel to see people around you have lost their minds.. This religion is to show you how F’d-up yours is! At least you CAN get pasta at the local Giovanni’s, but you CANNOT find virgin nuns in the Vatican…hee heee!!


    Long live FSM and praised be his name and kingdom here on earth and in the “hereafter” hooo hoo!!!

  2. Justin says:

    Daniel, you are perpetuating hate, so I ask, why? There is nothing wrong with being a virgin, and this religion is not to disprove anyone else’s. The purpose of Pastafarianism is to further peace and prosperity in the world. Ra-men

  3. Excelsior says:

    Don’t be so harsh on Daniel, we don’t have a clause in our Bible telling us to turn the other cheek! If someone attacks our pirate ship we have the right to repel them! They make fun of us and we make fun of them! Everyone has fun! If God had fun with the virgin Mary ok that’s fine! (just as long as it wasn’t a rape). Did you ever hear of the Nephilim? They were Jesus’ brothers (with the same father), look it up in the Bible before they put out a new censored edition and recall all the old Bibles! Ramen! Ramen!

    • Apprentice Frederic says:

      The Sargasso Sea Scrolls, soon-to-be discovered, will address turning the other cheek: Ye’re bent over, y’see, facing away from some scurvy creationist – and a bit t’ the left. Ya just shift rightward and slap ye’re arse….

      • Rasputin says:

        Aaaaargh, Apprentice Fred! Another tenet of our beliefs! Sargasso sea scrolls! brilliant!

        • Rasputin says:

          Can we attract more pirate wenches to our church? Recently Roxanne complained about how the church is skewed towards male fantasies about beer volcanoes and stripper factories. I assume this is because the FSM chose to reveal himself to the saintly Bobby, rather than a gal. Can we address this imbalance? Perhaps our heaven should include a shoe factory, where women can spend eternity buying shoes which are brilliantly stylish but never hurt their feet. Or maybe Pastafarian heaven has lots of unicorns with big eyelashes for our pirate wenches to ride. Please provide some input. We don’t want our church to become (in Stewie Griffin’s phrase) a sausage fest.

        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          Rasputin, thanks, and your point well taken. I Googled “women pirates” and was humbled by what I found: “wenches” doesn’t quite get there, see, e.g.,
          I would have liked to see Dr. Astronomer, Wench Nikiee, and many others awarded the Ching Shih flag and “wenches” should able to claim rank. Some might object to sex-specific designations, but, being more of a dinosaur, I would have urged Reverend->Abbess/Pioress or Captain->Captainess. Of course, there is always just plain old Pirate Queen to consider.

        • Pirate John says:

          Oh, for the love of the FSM, pirate wenches don’t buy shoes and ride unicorns!!! They pillage ships and villages, seduce the worthiest of the men, and steal their gold! But the FSM knows this already, praise His noodly name. If you want to personally attract more quality wenches to the fold, post links to photos of a) your ship, or alternately, your village, b) your stunning physique, and c) your treasure (use your imagination on that one). If you, however, would like to see more wussy bimbos at the Volcano, then yeah — go for the shoes and the unicorns (barf).

  4. Rasputin says:

    Dear Apprentice Frederick and Pirate John, you’re both right, but it’s not only about what we men want in heaven. It’s also about what WOMEN want. I’d like to watch strippers and drink beer whilst going “Aaaarrgghhh” but perhaps women are more interested in unicorns, glam shoes, endless supplies of nail polish and fluffy pussy cats. I’m always happy to watch women playing with their pussies. What’s not to like?

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