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I can appreciate a good joke

Published February 15th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

I can appreciate a good joke as much as any other guy.  But there’s a difference between making a joke and insulting other people.  When you begin to bring in specific religious practice or condemnations for not doing as the religion "requires," that becomes an insult.  Think of it this way: your website is good, but what’s the point of your occasional advertisement on the bottom with a picture of the religious book of FSM saying "Save Your Heathen Soul"?  It directly says to others that if you don’t believe what we tell you, you’re wrong and going to hell.  Yes, I’m a Christian, no I don’t believe most of the things in the church’s past were okay.  I simply choose to believe that there is a God, and if anybody has any questions about my faith, I’ll be happy to answer and guide them if that’s what they want.  If they believe otherwise, I’ll allow them to stay that way, because there’s nothing I can do to force their belief.  All I’m really saying is, think about what purpose each thing you say serves, and whether it’s taking it a step too far.
~DJN

The point of our church is not to offend, but understand it is bound to happen.  Most of us in the Church of FSM are not anti-religion, and we have many Pastafarians who are active members of mainstream religions.  Part of what we’re doing here is questioning ideas considered rude to question.  Or, knocking down religion a peg – however you want to look at it.  We think it’s a dangerous situation for institutions and ideas to be above scrutiny.  

At the risk of spoiling the “Save Your Heathen Soul” joke, I’ll explain it.  You see, Christians often threaten nonbelievers with THEIR hell-place for various sins or sinful lifestyles – either explicitly, or indirectly, or in a judging veiled-friendliness sort of way.  But nonbelievers DON’T BELIEVE IN YOUR HELL.  Aside from the fact that we find it offensive the idea that we need a rulebook to define our morality, it is a strange proposition to be invited to believe in scripture in order to be saved from a consequence of it.  The “Save Your Heathen Soul” joke is a nod to other nonbelievers who have experienced this phenomenon. 

But, DJN, I honestly like Christians, the majority of those I know – and my experience in running the Church of the FSM has only increased my opinion of Christians (really).  I believe that the majority of Christians are thoughtful and open-minded, and that most are members of churches partly because of a belief in God, and partly because of the social benefits and community that being part of a church allows.  I get a ton of emails from thoughtful Christians who understand what we’re doing here at the Church of FSM – people like you who don’t approve of the abuses perpetrated in the Name of God. 

So, understand that around here there is an effort not to offend people, but at the same take a hard look at the strange business of religion. And in this way we give Glory to The Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster, the one and only True God, who someday I hope Touches you with His Noodly Appendage so that you may know His Loving Embrace. 

-bobby



350 Responses to “I can appreciate a good joke”

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  1. Peter says:

    You should all be ashamed of yourselves for consuming this half-baked stuff: await the coming of the Great Mess, sire. Cheeses saves!

    • Drained and Washed Clean says:

      Our pasta may be a little al dente, but it is in no way only half baked. I am sure our Noodlyness is whatever texture that you prefer. He probably doesn’t mind a little cheese (or a lot in my case) sprinkled on to enhance the experience, but you can in no way prove that cheese saves anyone.

      • MathWiz says:

        Al Dente is the best way to enjoy most forms of pasta.

  2. Kru2 says:

    I am a devoted Christian. I am going to try my hardest not to offend anybody in this passage. I will not question my faith over a sort of pathetic idea such as a flying spagetti monster. The first time somebody else told me about it, I laughed my butt off. It wasn’t until I googled, I thought he was joking. Are you seriously asking me to ponder over which sounds more practical; fsm or Christianity? The bible was written thousands of years ago about a phenomenon that actually happened. Why else would anybody take generations to peice together a book so great? How long has fsm been around? Because I highly doubt that a middle eastern prophet, 2000 years ago, woke up and told disciples of the fsm. If this is true, tell me, but I think people took life a little bit more seriously back then. Most people then had probably never eaten spagetti. Much less watched it fly and talk to prophets. I’m really starting to think that this “religion” was made up by a kintergardener high on acid. This is religion for poor confused atheists that don’t know what religion to choose. Yes, I love kidding around, but when your being serious about an absurd concept such as this? It bothers me. Let me just clarify this to all fsm followers reading this: this is not religion, this is BS! Lastly, I wont question my faith for any plausible religion, give me one good reason that I should believe any of this. I hope I didn’t offend anybody in this statment. Thankyou for taking the time to read this.

    • Mal says:

      And once again the point is completely lost on someone who is incapable of independent thought.

      Kru2, judge not lest ye be judged. Take a look around and see if you can figure out what the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is actually trying to accomplish before assuming we’ve all lost our minds.

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      Yes, “people took life a little bit more seriously back then”. That’s why they had witches, dragons, sea serpents, burning bushes, world-wide floods and a flat earth. They were seriously ignorant and superstitious. And it’s taking people a lot longer than it should to shed these ridiculous beliefs.

      One telling thing you wrote was “I wont question my faith for any plausible religion”. Oh, I believe that! Your mind is closed. Do yourself a favor and questions EVERYTHING.

    • Thomas L. Nielsen says:

      “I am going to try my hardest not to offend anybody in this passage”

      Followed by:

      “I’m really starting to think that this “religion” was made up by a kintergardener high on acid”

      “This is religion for poor confused atheists….”

      “….this is BS”

      Honestly now: How do you yourself feel you did with regards to the “not offending anybody” part?

      Oh, and I also spy, with my little eye, that tired old hobby horse:

      “The bible was written thousands of years ago about a phenomenon that actually happened”

      How do you know that the bible describes events that actually happened?

      Regards & all, rAmen, and Aarrrr,

      Thomas L. Nielsen
      Pastafarian Science Monitor
      Luxembourg Office

    • Drained and Washed Clean says:

      I am a devoted Christian.
      - Oi. So now I am going to assume that you failed to read the about page.
      I am going to try my hardest not to offend anybody in this passage.
      - Doubtful. One who starts with this statement normally intends to offend. Just have the balls to do so.
      I will not question my faith over a sort of pathetic idea such as a flying spagetti monster.
      - The same as I will not question mine over a zombie sky jew on a stick.
      The first time somebody else told me about it, I laughed my butt off.
      - I did as well.
      It wasn’t until I googled, I thought he was joking. Are you seriously asking me to ponder over which sounds more practical; fsm or Christianity?
      - Apparently my first assumption was correct. What I would like you to ponder is what a jackass your god is in comparison to ours. Yours advocates to subjugation of women, the rape and murder of women and children, the destruction of entire civilizations based on jealous insecurity, while ours just has the 8 I’d Rather You Didn’ts. Our much kinder and accepting god should make you at least take a look at the hate filled book that you all spout to try to scare the rest of the world into believing like you.
      The bible was written thousands of years ago about a phenomenon that actually happened.
      - Prove it. Any of it. You cannot make such grandiose claims without also showing us the grandiose evidence.
      Why else would anybody take generations to piece together a book so great?
      - Because they don’t know any differently and they refuse to do their own thinking or research.
      How long has fsm been around?
      - What does that matter? Egyptian gods preceded your god by a good 3,000 years. Greek gods are older, Roman gods are older. If age determines truth, then you have nothing on the generations of gods that came before yours.
      Because I highly doubt that a middle eastern prophet, 2000 years ago, woke up and told disciples of the fsm.
      - You can’t even prove that a middle eastern prophet, 2000 years ago, woke up and told anyone about your god.
      If this is true, tell me, but I think people took life a little bit more seriously back then.
      - You know nothing of Roman life…
      Most people then had probably never eaten spagetti.
      - Point? According to you all, consuming the “flesh and blood” of your god is necessary to show devotion.
      Much less watched it fly and talk to prophets.
      - But yours levitated out of the atmosphere… Somehow this is more improbable?
      I’m really starting to think that this “religion” was made up by a kintergardener high on acid.
      - And John was on some sort of hallucinogen when he wrote Revelations. Also, spell check.
      This is religion for poor confused atheists that don’t know what religion to choose.
      - I am in no way confused. I do not need to chose a religion to be happy or have a purpose. You, apparently, lack the internal where with all to make good choices without consulting an invisible man in the sky. What does that say about you?
      Yes, I love kidding around, but when your being serious about an absurd concept such as this?
      - Yet you take the imaginary delusions of men who lived well after the time of your christ as fact…? So, obviously you are not in the least bit concerned with absurdity.
      It bothers me.
      - And your attitude and existence bother me. What are you going to do about it?
      Let me just clarify this to all fsm followers reading this: this is not religion, this is BS!
      - Prove it. We have just as much proof as you do.
      Lastly, I wont question my faith for any plausible religion,
      - Therein lies your problem. There is no such thing as a plausible religion.
      give me one good reason that I should believe any of this.
      - You don’t even have a good reason to believe in what you currently believe in other than someone told you so.
      I hope I didn’t offend anybody in this statment.
      - Bullshit. But I can tell you that your spelling offends me.
      Thankyou for taking the time to read this.
      - If only you would take the time to read and respond to all of us who have taken the time for you. But it is unlikely given your failure to see the obvious problems with your own beliefs (well, fantasies… Hope I didn’t offend you with that…)

      • Kru2 says:

        “To outsiders it makes us hard to define, but here are some general things that can be said about our beliefs:

        We believe pirates, the original Pastafarians, were peaceful explorers and it was due to Christian misinformation that they have an image of outcast criminals today
        We are fond of beer
        Every Friday is a Religious Holiday
        We do not take ourselves too seriously
        We embrace contradictions (though in that we are hardly unique)”

        Ok “drained and waged clean” I have checked you page out, and here it is right here for you. All I could figure or from it was that This “religion” is followed by a bunch ovary ms that that take life as a game, and the biggest moron is the winner. I shouldn’t have put that I didnt mean to offend you. Because I did. I really want to know your beliefs however, so please reply and tell me exactly what exactly you believe / do because the website has just insulted yall the way I see it

        • Kru2 says:

          Sorry about the typo in the middle. Its supposed to say you are a bunch of drunks

        • bruceo says:

          Actually, I believe there ARE quite a few “ovary ms”s who are Pastafarians.

        • Drained and Washed Clean says:

          Ok “drained and waged clean” I have checked you page out,
          – Oh good. I’m so glad.
          and here it is right here for you.
          – If you have the ability to actually make sense. Or a point…
          All I could figure or from it was that This “religion” is followed by a bunch ovary ms that that take life as a game,
          – Then you obviously haven’t looked hard enough, or do not have the ability to comprehend. Religion taking over the minds of young children and trying to teach our children their faux science is unacceptable and dangerous.
          and the biggest moron is the winner.
          – Right now they are. They are holding public office and telling everyone in this country how they should live their lives based on a Bronze Age book written by a bunch of people who are not why they say they are (and wrote it a century or more after the supposed existence of Christ, which you cannot prove either).
          I shouldn’t have put that I didnt mean to offend you. Because I did.
          – So now you have lied. Why would you even risk your eternal soul to do something so bad?!?
          I really want to know your beliefs however, so please reply and tell me exactly what exactly you believe
          – I asked you to answer a lot of questions. I picked everything you said apart and you have nothing to say to refute or back up anything you claimed above. You are the one who came here, made assumptions, and went off at the keyboard. At least make an attempt to back up what you said. You have no desire to understand what this is about because you obviously have not even clicked on the About tab. But I will sum it up for you. We are about keeping people, like you, who are serving in the government and trying to turn this country into an actual “christ
          / do because the website has just insulted yall the way I see it
          – And your blind faith and lack of understanding of history and the English language is an insult to us all.

      • Suckmyballs Russell says:

        Alright let me just start out by telling you that I am dearly sorry for the fact that you are to fucking stupid to get a real religion. Maybe if you’d move out of your sorry ass parents basement, you could. It’s not my fault you don’t have a life. I really pity you. Your god can take his fat noodle and shove it up his ass, because my god eats yours for dinner and shits him out on your fucking pirate ship. R!!! Me matees, I think I smell the shit of a superior intelligence! I don’t let drunk pasta tell me what to do, and I suggest you do the same. O, and by the way, the next time you pray to your abomination, tell him to suck his balls that are apparently bigger than my gods.
        O, and p.s. FUCK YOU

        • The Reverend Toni Rigatoni says:

          Russell, please don’t feel sorry for any of us, we don’t need it nor do we welcome it. Tell me, when you say ‘you’, are you referring to an individual or to the community as a whole? If your reference is to an individual then it would be polite to identify said individual so as to enable him or her to respond. If however you are referring to the group, on what basis do you verify the ‘fact’ that we are all stupid? We are indeed far from stupid although I’m sure I recall reading in the Gospel that there was once – a long long time ago – a stupid Pastafarian. I personally don’t believe it, it was probably just a parable; a warning to beware of stupid people in our midst. The Noodly Master is truly the all seeing, all knowing creator because, as predicted, here you are! Why do you suggest our religion isn’t real, it’s as real as yours and why do you feel the need to descend into profanity and ad homin……OH, SO MANY QUESTIONS, SO MANY QUESTIONS… I have been polite in my reply, refraining from filth and profanity but I can’t resist one last question; is Russell your name or the sound the sheets make as you crawl into bed with your mother, you ignorant fucking hick!

          The Reverend

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          When you misspell two words in the first line, you’ve lost the intelligence argument, ass.

        • Drained and Washed Clean says:

          I would like you to define real religion. Are we speaking of one where a father is his own son, there are talking serpents, a god who is so angry and jealous that it kills entire civilizations and floods the entire world that now wages war on anyone who doesn’t believe as they do? Or are we talking about rapist and violent man who put together the words of an invisible sky man and now wage war on anyone who doesn’t believe as they do? Or are we talking about the same invisible sky man that has not sent himself back as his son, but has still killed entire civilizations due to anger and jealousy?

          Any proof of your god that you can offer would be greatly appreciated. We function on facts and evidence. Not on random word garbage. You should pity yourself.

        • TiltedHorizon says:

          You can tell the strength of a god by the warrior sent to defend him. So when is your god’s warrior scheduled to show up?

    • Apprentice Frederic says:

      Actually, Kru2, you certainly did NOT offend me in the slightest by your post. I was embarrassed for you, however, in the way that you exposed the shallowness of your understanding of your own religion and for the margin by which the point of the CoFSM’s theology has escaped you. Questioning your own faith by comparing it to the *real* tenets of Christianity (and precious few who claim to be Christian cling to those tenets) might move you away from preening and closer to justifiable pride in your faith.

    • TiltedHorizon says:

      “The first time somebody else told me about it, I laughed my butt off.”

      That is the point.

      “I will not question my faith…”

      And the is the problem. If one does not question faith then any assertion, including a Flying Spaghetti Monster, is true. (Which is also the point if FSM)

      “The bible was written thousands of years ago about a phenomenon that actually happened.”

      The bible contains talking donkeys, four legged insects, dragons, basilisks, burning bushes, talking snakes, angels, demons, and sentient mists. Which of these are “phenomenon” are you talking about?

      “Why else would anybody take generations to peice together a book so great?”

      God is power, he who asserts himself as a Prophet can turn a godly profit. What? You think the marble they use in church is free?

      • Keith says:

        The buybull also contains a middle aged man who can carry inscribed tombstones down a 7,500 foot mountain and a 600 year old geezer who singlehandedly builds a bronze age container of impossible dimensions.

        • Olio says:

          “bronze age container of impossible dimensions“

          Well, the pyramids still have not been adequately accounted for, have they?

          That and select crop circles. Some of those have been found to have explainable origins however. Apparently not all.

        • Keith says:

          I am simply pointing out that the so-called ark could not possibly have been built by a 600 year old man using bronze age technology. I am aware that some people argue it was possible using internal butressing but a vessel that size could not hold together without enough internal structural support to negate its supposed purpose.
          Regarding the pyramids, you could start by watching this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCvx5gSnfW4. I know this is about Stonehenge but the techniques used to move enormous blocks are physically demonstrable.
          When someone builds an ark of the size it was supposed to be using bronze age techniques, stuffs it full of animals and keeps it afloat in violent seas for 40 days and 40 nights I will reconsider my objections.

        • Olio says:

          NOAA makes storm predictions in todays world. I do not know if animal cruelty concerns would permit such a re enactment. I would not condone such an attempt.

        • Drained and Washed Clean says:

          How convenient for you.

        • Olio says:

          An experiment such as this would not require live animals, just as crash test models are used in accident re enactments for a reason.

        • Keith says:

          I checked through my last post three times. My post said “animals”. I could not find any reference to them being live ones. They could be stuffed toys for all I care, as long as they are the correct size and weight. Considering the amount of money religions in general steal from the public every year I am certain they could spend a modicum of it on “proving” the story of Noah. Of course, it is much easier and cheaper to ram fairy stories down the throats of children every Sunday. As Goebbels is reputed to have said in various forms: “If you tell a lie often enough , it becomes the truth”

        • Drained and Washed Clean says:

          I propose that live animals would be necessary to confirm that the “ark” could store enough food to keep them alive, and see if they could actually survive the entire length of the journey. Did entire species become extinct? I also propose that live humans should be used as well for the same reasons.

        • Keith says:

          That would include throwing a few dinosaurs in as well. Lets see: a couple (or seven) of each type of the supersized Diplodocids measuring 100+ feet and weighing over 100 tons each… oh, wait, the Dinosaurs all died out because they were too large to fit into the ark! So god stuffed up on his calculations, eh?: OK we’ll throw some of the many chicken, cow and dog sized Dinosaurs in instead. That’s odd, I don’t see them around today and it’s only been 4 and a half thousand years. Did they suddenly die of some Dinosaur specific disease that didn’t affect anything else? Did god just say “OK, Dinosaurs are unclean and evil like human beings. Don’t let them on.” The supreme being of the universe and he keeps changing his mind. Not very omnipotent is he?

        • TiltedHorizon says:

          “Well, the pyramids still have not been adequately accounted for, have they?”

          So the logic is, the arc exists because the pyramids still have not been “adequately accounted for”? That is called ‘confirmation bias’, you will have to do better than that to be taken seriously. I tell you what…. show me a human who can live to be 600 OR any ONE of the following, a burning bush that talks, an insect with only 4 legs (pulling off legs won’t count), a living talking donkey, a dragon, a basilisk, a talking snake, a biblical angel, an actual demon, or simply produce a mist that can read lambs blood. Any one of these will do to convince me the arc is possible.

        • Olio says:

          Sorry, this thread has gone above my head. Reproducing events or being unable to reproduce in a controlled experiment events, does not negate that something had occurred, but doesnt prove that it did, either. Attacking texts becomes the same as attempting to defend these same texts, in certain ways. I do not know what these concepts are called.

        • Atsap Revol says:

          Olio, the concept we are promoting here is logic. The failed experimental construction of a replica ark is not necessary to prove its impossibility. Use your brain to visualize how ridiculous the Biblical account of the ark is. This story has to be pure mythology, and not a new myth either. There were mythical floods before the Bible version.

          If you read the OT carefully, you will note that before the deluge men and animals were vegetarians. The fearful teeth of T. rex were used for cracking coconuts I guess. Also the laws of diffraction of light were different after the flood because there were no rainbows until God had them appear in the sky as His covenant that He wouldn’t repeat His watery vengeance.

          It’s amazing what people can believe.

          Atsap Revol

        • Olio says:

          “covenant that He wouldn’t repeat His watery vengeance”

          Maybe it was a specific area the flooding covenant referred to. I have seen rainbows around our place, no flooding here so far, but am not in a flood zone.

          Someone mentioned a six hundred year old earlier. Would probably be able to find six one hundred year olds. Perhaps that was a type-o. Six hundred year olds.

        • Keith says:

          The whole book abounds with errors, contradictions, and misinterpretations. That is why apologists can always find new and exciting ways to bolster their beliefs.

        • Atsap Revol says:

          Olio, you are typical of the mindless fundies that come here to argue the correctness of the Bible. As is usual, you haven’t read the passages you attempted to defend. Here, in unambiguous language is what the Bible says:

          Genesis 7:6– Noah was six hundred years old when the floodwaters came down on the earth.

          Genesis:9:14-16–Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant…

          Now, reconsider your latest comments in relation to these citations. Sometimes I think we waste our time tryng to discuss religion intelligently with those who have no intelligence.

          Atsap Revol, COF

        • Olio says:

          No Atsap Revol (Pasta Lover),

          I am not typical. No comment on the rest.

        • Atsap Revol says:

          Okay, Olio, you are not typical, because you must have an IQ of at least 60 or 70 to figure out that Atsap Revol = Pasta Lover. Why no comment on the Bible passages I cited? Did you find them confusing and at odds with what you thought you knew? If you actually read the Bible, you will find that it contains much that wasn’t covered in your simple Sunday school lessons.

          I think you probably are about 12 or 13 years old and thrilled to be participating in an adult conversation. Am I wrong?

          Atsap Revol, Pasta Lover

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          I’d be mighty pissed off if I were Noah:
          “Lord, you used your mighty magic to:
          1. Bring a mating pair of every kind of animal here to this spot at the right time
          2. Prevented them from eating each other (and me!)
          3. Allowed my family and I to live for hundreds of years beyond our normal span (Hey, why aren’t my Great(x7) grandkids on the boat?
          4. Gathered up enough food for all these animals, even though most of it doesn’t grow around here
          5. Kept them all healthy during this ordeal
          6. Instructed them how to get back to their habitats, even though many of them supposedly would have changed, and become inaccessible. Hey, Kangaroos – think you can swim to Australia?

          All this magic was done, and you made me work on this ^$@& boat for 800 years? You couldn’t have just blinked it into existence??”

        • Olio says:

          ”couldnt have just blinked it into existence? ”

          Perhaps He has an IQ estimated to be in range of the one cited by Atsap Revol of me. This may have contributed.

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          More questions about Noah and the Ark:

          If god was so pissed off at (almost) everyone, why would he wait hundreds of years until Noah built the ark? He’d wouldn’t be killing the current evil-doers, but their progeny 40 or 50 generations downstream.

          Where did all the water come from, and where did it go?

          Wouldn’t being under turbulent salt water for 40 (or 150, depends on which biblical version you believe) kill just about every plant on earth?

          Wouldn’t it have been more humane to just change everyone’s attitude?

          Wouldn’t it have been easier to just kill all the evil-doers via heart attacks or a plague?

          Why kill off 99.99% of the world’s animals? Were they “evil”, too? Who would be the real evil one here? My vote is for Yahweh.

        • Olio says:

          I meant that if some propose to be that much more intelligent than others, kindness does not need to be an absent consideration.

        • puppygoogoo says:

          Guys,

          Can anyone answer how the water based animals (fish, dewgongs, etc) fared during this time? Wouldnt they have flourished? Also i was wondering why more of these style of boats werent created by future generations, or the original used, for exploration, etc? Lastly this is all very TIC we do know the answer…..

          cheers

          puppygoogoo

        • Keith says:

          The dewgong population, as with many other sea animals, were eaten by the Arthrodires, the Mosasaurs, the Basilosaurs and anything else the young Earthers would insist lived together at the same time. The seas must have been teeming with super predators, all from different eras and all occupying the same ecological niche. It must have been absolute hell.

        • Atsap Revol says:

          Careful reading of the Ark myth in Genesis will reveal that neither man nor animals ate flesh before the great flood. So, all those sea critters must have subsisted on seaweed before God said it was OK to eat each other after the Ark was on dry land again. All the teeth of dinosaurs and saber-toothed tigers were just for cracking cocconuts, I guess. It was a vegan world, but the temptation to scarf a cheeseburger must have been great.

          At least Noah had the sense to plant a vinyard, make wine, and get drunk post-deluge. Drinking while nude was foolish, though. Noah might have got arrested by the Google Police for indecent exposure. (Which, by the way, it’s a welcome sign to see the brief re-entry of the Google Cops after a long absence. Haven’t seen you here to keep order since Gib Yug departed.)

          Atsap Revol, The Littoral Interpreter (pun intended)

  3. TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

    “The bible was written thousands of years ago about a phenomenon that actually happened”

    OK, Kru2 – here is an assignment for you. Get your head out of the BuyBull and try to find any historical evidence for or against:

    The Cruxifiction
    The Ressurection
    The actual birth and birthplace (hint: it wasn’t Bethlehem) of Jesus
    The Slaughter of the Innocents
    The Great Flood
    The Exodus (and the mass slavery of Jews in Egypt, and even the existence of Moses)

  4. That Guy says:

    OK. Everybody on this site are being total douchebags. The people who send hatemail are bagging on pastafanarianism, while the defendants bag other religions as well. C’mon guys! Why can’t people stop fighting over who’s right. No I don’t agree with the whole fsm concept, but I can accept it. Let’s be honest, a spagetti god does sound a little bit Out there But if it’s what you believe, don’t let haters tell you any different.
    Yours truly, that guy

    • Drained and Washed Clean says:

      A dude, who is also his son, sitting on a cloud, and sent himself to be killed and turned into a zombie, from a book full of talking snakes, men levitating into outer space, and imaginary light and dark creatures doesn’t sound a bit out there?

      About tab.

    • TiltedHorizon says:

      Hey That Guy, don’t be “that guy”, the one who starts jumping to conclusions without knowing the facts. Read the ‘About’ page.

    • The Reverend Toni Rigatoni says:

      That Guy, ALL religions are ‘out there’ that’s the whole point of the FSM concept (capitals please) – OK, a major point anyway. You say you accept it but the fact is you can’t accept it can you? That’s why you felt compelled to write isn’t it? You don’t agree with the concept – why? Are you a creationist/Christian right winger or, as I suspect, just too bloody lazy to find out what it is you’re commenting on? So, until you learn more about us and our causes you are not qualified to judge whether or not we are douche-bags. Learn more about us and you will discover that we DON’T let the haters tell us otherwise, and that includes you. Learn more about us and you will also discover that we don’t actually believe in a Flying Spaghetti Monster but we DO believe in the concept; you will discover that we are not arguing about who is right – we know who is right – we are arguing for a secular society and freedom FROM religion. The religious demand the freedom to follow their religion but would have anyone who doesn’t follow their particular brand of dogma ostracized. They insist upon a disproportionate degree of influence in government and education and demonstrate a powerful desire to brainwash our children and impose their flawed moral code on society. THAT is what we are arguing about.

      Go away and read the about page; read through past posts and then when you have a better idea of what you are talking about come back and we will discuss this some more. Finally, when you start a post by calling people douche-bags all the phony platitudes and faux friendliness that follows doesn’t fool anyone, just say what you mean and then we will all know where we stand.

      May the Sauce be with you

      The Reverend

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      Is it “bagging on” a belief to ask for the most basic proof of its validity? If you were to tell me that tiny aliens were living on your dog, would I be “bagging on” you to ask what lead you to believe that?

  5. That Guy says:

    Look at suck my balls russell’s post. Was that not totally offensive and rude?( if it’s not, you need to raise your standards, just saying). However you can’t tell me you meant to offend nobody. Because this whole hate wall kind of does offend me. I’m not ” that guy ” who jumps to conclusions, I’ve read the about page many times. I didn’t post to offend and certainly didn’t ask for hatful responses. What I’m trying to say is… Just because this is yalls site doesn’t mean your responses aren’t any better.
    With all due respect,
    That guy

    • The Reverend Toni Rigatoni says:

      You say you are not be ‘that guy’ who jumps to conclusions, but you are ‘that guy’ that called us douche-bags and if that’s not posting to offend then perhaps it is you who needs to raise your standards, just saying. None of the above responses to your post are hateful so I don’t understand where that came from. In the entire exchange so far there is but one ad hominem attack and that was from you; I don’t care how you cut it – calling someone or a group of someones douche-bags is not polite to say the least, yet no one here has responded with a personal attack upon you. How then do you justify your statement that our responses are not any better; the evidence suggests strongly that our responses are ‘better’ than YOURS let alone SMBRussell’s! Further to your last post, if as you say you have read the about tab several times, how can you still think that we believe it; how can you not see that the whole purpose of the FSM is put it ‘out there’ so as to reflect the ‘out-thereness’ of all the other religions. If I accept that you don’t jump to conclusions then I have to say that your conclusions, no matter how carefully considered, are seriously flawed.

      With all due respect

      The Reverend.

    • Drained and Washed Clean says:

      We looked at it. Of course it is offensive and rude. But you coming here and calling us all douche bags is rude as well. What I say is fact, and if someone finds it offensive then too bad. Since we use fact and evidence, of course our posts are “better”. If you can come back with something concrete that shows that we were not posting factual information, then please be my guest. When facts are offensive there is something wrong with the reader, not with the facts.

      You may have read the about tab, but you obviously have not comprehended it…

  6. That Guy says:

    Any skeptics of my god, go to this website and actually read some of it.
    http://www.godandscience.org/apologetics/answers.html

    I will gladly take feedback

    • Olio says:

      Hm. Don’t Noah bout this. I don’t like leaving here to visit other websites. Why don’t you tell more here?

    • The Reverend Toni Rigatoni says:

      Any skeptics of MY god, go to this website and actually read some of it.

      http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/Science.html

      I will gladly take feedback.

      • That Guy says:

        I love science. It’s my favorite subject. I believe in evolution. I do not believe that I have monkey ancestors.
        Did you look at my site? I looked at yours.
        Yours truly
        That guy

        • Drained and Washed Clean says:

          Evolution is not something that you believe in. Belief implies that you can personally accept this as true, and you can dismiss it if you want. This is not the case with evolution. It is fact. And if you don’t think that other primates were your ancestors then you do not accept the Theory of Evolution. Do you also dismiss gravity?

        • Keith says:

          The idea that “man is descended from ape” (or monkey if you prefer) is often used by evolution’s detractors. I am not necessarily including you in that category, That Guy. The argument usually ends with the inevitable “well why are monkeys/ apes still around? they should have evolved by now”. Apart from the fact that animals don’t spontaneously evolve at the same time and into the same thing around the world, the theory of Evolution does not propose that man evolved from apes but that apes and man have a common ancestor: apelike perhaps, but not apes. The question of when humans became what we would consider human is a vexing one: as far as I know noone has been able to point to a fossil and say “that is the first human: the one that came before it isn’t.” I have a friend who is thankfully a bit more broad minded than he used to be. He used to say (despite my correcting him) that man could not have evolved from apes, his only reason being that it sounded insulting.

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      More circular logic, where the believers will not keep an open mind, but will force the facts to fit their conclusions. Also, the old circular logic of “this is true because the Bible says so, and the Blble is the word of god, therefore the Bible is correct”.

      I read the section on the topic at hand – the Great Flood, and although the Jewish account is obviously a rehash of the Sumerian fable, the author can not accept that. Beyond that, it’s ludicrous to think that a boat of the dimensions given on that site for the ark – about half the size of a modern cruise ship – could hold all of the world’s animals for months. Then go over my posts contesting both the scientific impossibilities AND the ethical problems of the great flood.

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      I read the first section “General Introduction for Non-Believers: Part 1, Are Your Beliefs Consistent with Your Worldview?”, and it was infuriating. So many statements that are just not true, like:

      a. Most skeptics take pride in their intellectual ability and like to think that they have no “beliefs.”
      b. skeptics must rely completely upon physical evidence.
      c. Before the 20th century, atheists assumed that the universe was eternal.

      just to name 3. Then the author makes the common mistake of claiming “Since you skeptics can’t DISprove god, he exists, and by golly, it’s MY god, Jesus”!

      • Olio says:

        ” take pride in their intellectual ability ”

        No risk of that with me in any event. I never had any pride in my intellect and as for ability, these are probably inextricably linked.

        “Where was Jesus born?”

        Wherever his mother gave birth.

        “Why can every Egyptian plague be explained by science? ”

        Same as every other answer you will get if assuming a steadfast belief in God is adhered to. Depending whom is asked, will be told god created science also. Then the question boils down to what is meant by God? Then are questioning God, which is a huge no no, if expressed out loud especially. Will be considered spiritually bereft and accordingly assigned by Gods more faithful followers and punishment meted out too.

        I can not fathom that god could find skepticism of this nature that offensive.Why not just say you have your doubts I know, but it is so. Instead, such doubts get equated with terrible fates.
        In today’s environ this would probably include tracking over the internet to pinpoint location. Not by God, whom would already know and not have occasion to rely on these methods.

      • puppygoogoo says:

        The Few,

        My favourite part of their rules is:

        “Nevermind wrote:
        Are non-believers allowed to express their arguements against Christianity in a civilized fashion?
        That’s a loaded question. For a non-believer who has made up their mind that Christianity is not for them, and who would also like to try and persuade others that Christianity is wrong, another board would be better suited. A non-believer who is wanting to listen to Christian responses rather then go on the attack against Christian beliefs, is quite welcome to participate.”

        In other words dont come here if you dont agree with our logic and if you try and disprove xtianity, go somewhere else.

        cheers

        puppygoogoo

    • Drained and Washed Clean says:

      That site is crap. Do you not think we have already gotten the answers to these questions, and many like them, without having to go to an apologists website? Please answer the following questions for me:
      How many of each animal were taken on the ark? 2 or 7?
      How did creation occur? Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 conflict.
      Who were Jesus’s apostles? Not really quite clear there.
      Where was Jesus born? 2 different cities in your bible.
      What happened at the tomb? Varying accounts of this as well.
      How did the world stop turning for 24 hours without the atmosphere flying off into outer space?
      Why can every Egyptian plague be explained by science?
      How is an invisible man who is also his own son, sitting on a cloud surrounded by light and dark creatures, judging the world and ordering the destruction of entire civilizations and the mass rape and murder of women and children, in a book full of talking donkeys and snakes, men levitating into space, and talkinb burning bushes any less plausible then this?

  7. That Guy says:

    I can see that I cannot prove myself right, but you cannot prove me wrong. That’s why we call religion faith. Because it’s not based on science, its based on what you believe in. ***plus that webpage was mostly for atheists. Not people already having somthing to believe. Lastly, I couldn’t help but notice that you (by that I mean all pastafanariasts) are throwing up things to disprove christianity, but not backing up why I should believe in your religion. I really don’t want any hate mail about this post so don’t waste my time.
    Yours truly
    That guy

    • Omnipotent Zombie says:

      So having read the “About” tab and listened to all the arguments presented to you from the best minds of our website, you think that we are pressing you to abandon your faith and worship the FSM? There is no hate on my end, just immense disapointment over how grossly you missed the point of the CoFSM and the website.

    • Olio says:

      There are sciences dedicated to pursuing unexplained phenomenon generally categorized as spiritual or religious experiences. In the past and depending whom experiences this, still.

    • The Reverend Toni Rigatoni says:

      You still don’t get it do you? Then let me spell it out in as simple a way as I can; we DO NOT believe in the FSM in the literal sense and we are NOT asking you to believe either, we are simply pointing out the ridiculousness (?) of all religions by using the FSM as a mirror; is that clear now?
      We are not trying to disprove Christianity, it would be a thankless task as it is quite obvious that Christianity exists; what we are trying to do is demonstrate that all religious belief, not just Christianity, is based on nothing more real or solid than fantasy and wishful thinking (although I do hesitate to use the word ‘thinking’) and by your own admission, it having no basis in fact. Before you argue that last point remember, personal revelation does not in any sense establish your beliefs as fact nor confer any authenticity on them. Facts can only be established by testing and the application of sound evidence, neither of which is applicable to religion as no evidence exists outside of the Bible or indeed any holy book you care to mention, and any test you care to apply to your faith is bound to fail.
      If you are still here That Guy, then it is you, not us that is wasting your time, furthermore none of the responses you have had from us can be even loosely interpreted as hate mail as I have said before; still just one hateful comment That Guy, yep – yours! Still you go on about hateful posts. You need to be clear my friend, taking up an opposing view and entering into discourse with someone is not hateful per se – calling people douche-bags is.
      You can’t post something like the post above and then ask that no-one replies, assuming that is what you mean when you say you don’t want hate mail. After all, what makes you think you can come to our website and disrespect us and then expect to have the last word; I’ll tell ya now buddy, it ain’t gonna happen!

      May the Sauce be with you,

      The Reverend

      Incidentally, I, as did theFewtheProud, checked out the website you suggested. I too read the first chapter and I have to agree with theFewtheProud’s conclusions, lots of untruths and assumptions about what atheists believe and the old chestnut, albeit unspoken; ‘science doesn’t have all the answers therefore god did it’. Bullshit! Further, Drained and Washed Clean should in my opinion, get a job as a book reviewer, her critique of the piece was both accurate and concise; ‘That site is crap’, absolute gold Drained!

      Rev

      • puppygoogoo says:

        Rev,

        RAmen to that. I checked the website out and had a look at their forum rules to see if i could have a ‘discussion’ with some of its members. Short answer is No. I tried to read the first chapter but became annoyed at the disrespect and misinformation that they were purpotrating towards ALL atheists, just like us categorising all xtians as LDS members. What you and theFewtheProud have said is entirely correct and i doubt that, That Guy will respond to your posts. Finally is it me or do most xtians struggle to understand that as Atheists we understand that we dont have all the answers to who, what, why, when and how, but we are trying to answer them and hopefully one day we will. Also that we dont need the approval of a deity to make our lives anymore meaningful, just being a good Human is all we need. Happy for criticism, correction, etc.

        cheers

        puppygoogoo

      • That Guy says:

        Where I’m from, douchebag isn’t a hate word. Its common language. I really didn’t mean to offend anybody, but if I did, let it go already please! Im also sorry for wasting your time, and/or doing anything else to anger you in any way. Your right, this is your site and I should’ve known I couldn’t win 1v100. Like the southern gentleman I am, I’m willing to accept the fact that I cannot change you, but I do advise you to keep an open mind as well. May the sauce be with you :)
        Yours truly,
        That Guy

        • Mal says:

          Of course you would post something like this while I am writing the book I posted below. That Guy, you are, of course, welcome and encouraged to stick around. A healthy faith is one that is challenged. A belief that cannot stand up to criticism is one that is not worth believing.

          I hope you’ll stay. Good debate would make us all stronger, and regardless of on what side of the argument one resides, stronger is always better.

      • That guy says:

        I must admit, this post (while it did bother me) actually taught me what this is actually about. I can now realize that this isn’t a load of crap and silly beliefs. I hope you will not judge me based on what I argued with improper knowledge.
        R’amen
        That guy

      • Drained and Washed Clean says:

        I should start sending my resume out… :)

    • Mal says:

      Weary as I am of what happened the last time a so-called christian graced our beloved home with his presence, I have attempted to remain respectfully mute in regards to That Guy’s posts. However, as I’m feeling a little randy tonight, I can hold my tongue no longer.

      That Guy, forgiving the “douche-bag” comment outright, I appreciate your attempt at civil, intelligent debate. At this point though, it would appear that debate has failed, and while I normally endeavor to hold responsible parties at task for their folly, I feel in this case it is not necessary to determine who is at fault for the failure. Simply put, something went wrong, and we must now attempt to fix it.

      I have read as much of the website you posted as my sensitive intellect will allow. As others here have said, it is filled with misinformation, misunderstanding and outright fallacy (specifically circular logic). I will acknowledge, however, that on certain subjects, the author does attempt to present actual evidence, even if it is incomplete or, in some cases, total fiction. As always, the best course of action is to conduct one’s own research and come to one’s own conclusions, as I’m sure you are aware.

      Ultimately though, this all comes back to why this site exists and consequently why you are visiting it. The over-arching principle of the CotFSM is to encourage the followers of ALL religions to approach their faith with the same logic and reasoning they would use when considering any other important life decisions. If you can sit and think critically and logically (in the philosophical sense) of your own beliefs and the evidence either for or against them and come to the same conclusions about the existence of your god and his or her worthiness of your worship, then so be it. But do yourself a favor. Just because you come to that conclusion once doesn’t mean that it can never change. The Bible DOES encourage you challenge your faith, and you should do so constantly.

      Believe it or not, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and Christianity can live together in harmony. As always, civil attempts at intelligent discourse are welcome and encouraged, but you must be willing to give us the same respect and decency you expect from us. If EVERYONE (you too, Pastafarians) can agree to those terms, then I would be happy to discuss as much as you like.

      R’Amen,

      Mal

      • The Reverend Toni Rigatoni says:

        Point taken Mal, I can, on re-reading my last post here, see how the phrase ‘If you are still here it is you who are wasting your time’ could be interpreted as saying that That Guy wasn’t welcome or that he was wasting his time trying to interact with us. If that was the case i apologize unreservedly as that was not my intention. I was responding to his statement ‘I don’t want any hate-mail from this so don’t waste my time’. The point I was trying to make was that he would be wasting his time remaining here if he wasn’t looking for responses. I read hate-mail as responses as he had previously referred to perfectly civil responses as hate-mail.

        Sorry for any misunderstanding; I love a good debate as much as any one and would not knowingly tell an otherwise intelligent and civil poster to go away. Although this post is a response to Mal, I hope it goes without saying that my apology extends to That Guy also.

        May the Sauce be with you

        The Reverend

        • Mal says:

          Oh, I wasn’t thinking of anything specifically when I said that. It was just a general statement to help us all remember to be civil, including me.

        • The Reverend Toni Rigatoni says:

          Fair comment Mal, but it did make me think about how my posts come across and realised that I can be a little argumentative, so thank you for being my Jimminy Cricket.

          May the Sauce be with you

          The Reverend

    • Drained and Washed Clean says:

      It is not our job to prove you wrong. You are making the claim. You must provide the proof. You have none. Therefore, until you can provide plausible evidence or explanations for all the questions that have already been asked of you then this is not a debate, and there is nothing more to say.

      And I don’t have anything to back up my religion because I don’t have a religion. I am an atheist.

  8. Vinny says:

    Doesnt any pastafanarian think that the deliberate mocking of other religions by comparing them to flying spagetti might get on people’s bad side. Your right. You have as much proof as we do. That’s why they call it faith, because you Have to believe. But as The Reverend Toni Rigatoni said, this isn’t about flying spagetti, it’s about proving a point. So what exactly do you, rv rigatoni, believe in?

    • Atsap Revol says:

      Vinny, missionary zealots have been on my bad side for decades; they rub me the wrong way with their constant preaching that they have the ONE, TRUE ANSWER, and they tell me that if I don’t fall in line with their beliefs I will spend eternity in hell.

      I can’t answer for the highly erudite Reverend Toni, but I’ll tell you that “belief” is a tricky business for me. I try to avoid “belief” and instead “think” that something may be such-and-so after researching the subject and weighing the pro and con evidence. For me, that approach eliminates beliefs about ghosts, witches, Santa Claus, and mythical gods.

      Try thinking, you may grow to like it.

      Atsap Revol

    • darkstar says:

      “Some believers accuse skeptics of having nothing left but a dull, cold scientific world. I am left with only art, music, literature, theater, the magnificence of nature, mathematics, the human spirit, sex, the cosmos, friendship, history, science, imagination, dreams, oceans, mountains, love and the wonder of birth. That’ll do me.”
      -Lynne Kelly

    • The Reverend Toni Rigatoni says:

      Hello Vinny, let me try to answer your question if I can, first of all though I need to make clear how I define the word ‘believe’. In my opinion Atsap is correct when he says that belief is a tricky business; belief is a difficult word to use when discussing religion as the word is frequently used as an acronym for faith by many theists, and that leaves me, and many others also, in the sometimes awkward position of having to try and tease out the subtle differences in meaning that can be applied to the two words that has in the past resulted in me being called a number of names, pedant being the nicer of them. In normal everyday conversation the word belief can safely be used, as in ‘I believe the sun will rise tomorrow morning’; in fact I know the sun will rise tomorrow morning as past evidence supports that knowledge incontrovertibly. Saying ‘I believe the sun will rise’ is gentler, less arrogant than saying ‘I know the sun will rise’ but it means the same thing in that context. In a religious context however, saying ‘I believe the sun will rise’ will frequently have the religious shouting gleefully ‘ See, you too have beliefs’ as if that somehow justifies or qualifies their belief or to use the correct word, their faith.

      That stated, let’s get to answering your question. So, what do I believe? I believe in love, try saying ‘I know love’ instead; ‘I know love makes sense but it doesn’t mean the same thing. I am therefore compelled to say ‘I believe in love’ despite not having to take it on faith, I don’t need faith as I also know love. In that context Vinny, I believe in many things but if the actual meaning of your question was ‘In what do you have faith?’ the honest answer is ‘nothing’, I have no need for faith; I believe the sun will rise tomorrow – no faith required, I believe in love, again no faith required, and so on. I’m sure you don’t require a full list but I hope you get the point I am attempting to make.

      On a final note – Vinny, take a look at darkstar’s post above, she has it right for me and almost certainly for the majority of atheists. It is a fallacy that atheist’s lives are bleak, they are not. It is also a fallacy that we have no beliefs, it’s just that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, gods and unsupported claims of supernatural intervention are not among them.

      May the Sauce be with you.

      The Reverend

      p.s Lynne, will you marry me? :-)

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      Vinny stated “Doesnt any pastafanarian think that the deliberate mocking of other religions by comparing them to flying spagetti might get on people’s bad side. Your right.”

      Yes, it IS my right to deliberately mock other religions, so consider yourselves mocked, pasta unbelievers!

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