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I can appreciate a good joke

Published February 15th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

I can appreciate a good joke as much as any other guy.  But there’s a difference between making a joke and insulting other people.  When you begin to bring in specific religious practice or condemnations for not doing as the religion "requires," that becomes an insult.  Think of it this way: your website is good, but what’s the point of your occasional advertisement on the bottom with a picture of the religious book of FSM saying "Save Your Heathen Soul"?  It directly says to others that if you don’t believe what we tell you, you’re wrong and going to hell.  Yes, I’m a Christian, no I don’t believe most of the things in the church’s past were okay.  I simply choose to believe that there is a God, and if anybody has any questions about my faith, I’ll be happy to answer and guide them if that’s what they want.  If they believe otherwise, I’ll allow them to stay that way, because there’s nothing I can do to force their belief.  All I’m really saying is, think about what purpose each thing you say serves, and whether it’s taking it a step too far.
~DJN

The point of our church is not to offend, but understand it is bound to happen.  Most of us in the Church of FSM are not anti-religion, and we have many Pastafarians who are active members of mainstream religions.  Part of what we’re doing here is questioning ideas considered rude to question.  Or, knocking down religion a peg – however you want to look at it.  We think it’s a dangerous situation for institutions and ideas to be above scrutiny.  

At the risk of spoiling the “Save Your Heathen Soul” joke, I’ll explain it.  You see, Christians often threaten nonbelievers with THEIR hell-place for various sins or sinful lifestyles – either explicitly, or indirectly, or in a judging veiled-friendliness sort of way.  But nonbelievers DON’T BELIEVE IN YOUR HELL.  Aside from the fact that we find it offensive the idea that we need a rulebook to define our morality, it is a strange proposition to be invited to believe in scripture in order to be saved from a consequence of it.  The “Save Your Heathen Soul” joke is a nod to other nonbelievers who have experienced this phenomenon. 

But, DJN, I honestly like Christians, the majority of those I know – and my experience in running the Church of the FSM has only increased my opinion of Christians (really).  I believe that the majority of Christians are thoughtful and open-minded, and that most are members of churches partly because of a belief in God, and partly because of the social benefits and community that being part of a church allows.  I get a ton of emails from thoughtful Christians who understand what we’re doing here at the Church of FSM – people like you who don’t approve of the abuses perpetrated in the Name of God. 

So, understand that around here there is an effort not to offend people, but at the same take a hard look at the strange business of religion. And in this way we give Glory to The Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster, the one and only True God, who someday I hope Touches you with His Noodly Appendage so that you may know His Loving Embrace. 

-bobby



343 Responses to “I can appreciate a good joke”

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  1. FlurpleDood says:

    Why the hate? Ddddddooooodddddddd!!!!!!!! Why are you on this website if you don’t like it?

    • Quantum Mechanics Religion says:

      The Quantum Mechanics Religion worships science as religion. The dogma even accept scientifically proven changes in the theories and follows the evolution of quantum mechanics. It does not accept metaphysical phenomena or alien-ufo data that are not complete and able to be confirmed by the greatest Univesities. It still is a religion even if it does not accept magical thinking because it teaches humanistic and philosophical values to it’s members. Also even if QMR does not accept souls and metaphisics it still communicates science not only as a frontal cortex pure logical resoning only, but also emotional-limbic system and temporal lobe cult that cultivates awe and respect to the scientific method in a very warm way.

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        QMR, some people are able to make a religion out of anything; however, while one may condition any emotional experience to any activity one should refer to the dictionary definition of religion, which has several distinct qualifiers.

        Within all empirical disciplines are people whose job it is to detect and eliminate worthless rituals, such as complex surgical procedures that achieve nothing but the placebo effect. The peer-review process does the same.

        Anyone practicing a religion with a science produces results which are worthless, self-serving and bring that discipline into disrepute, such as Creation so-called science.

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        QMR, please provide precise definitions for what is: ‘quantum mechanics; soul; metaphysical phenomena; pure logical reasoning and; cult’.

  2. VV says:

    One more sighting: http://www.kurir-info.rs/lici-na-vanzemaljca-pomozite-ne-znam-sta-sam-uslikao-clanak-1165887
    A man is asking what he just shot.

  3. Austin Grandstaff says:

    Hello my name is Austin and i have to say that what you are doing is very intelligent. i would also like to say in many ways its not quite right. i cant honestly sit here and say that i believe in everything religions have said. i can honestly say that a world without religion… is a dangerous world. People need something to believe in. When religion is thrown out morals will go as well. Many people do good things for the simple fact that it may make ‘god’ happy and that by doing these things good things will come to them. People will no longer have the conscience of a stable minded person. Most of the world will do an think bad things, reaping no mental consequences.

    I understand the motives behind what you are doing. I would just like you to know i am very openminded and have no hateful things to say unto you about the subject. Just understand that what you are performing WILL grow. i have no doubts of this. One day this organization you have formed will change the face of this planet. I must add that it may not be in a good way.

    i do not criticize you for your beliefs no matter what that is.
    i understand that there are many religious people that do criticize you.
    i would like you to understand
    -god being real or not, changes lives. people dedicate themselves to leading happy and virtuous lives in his name
    -and also that there are many good people, whose lives need something to believe in.

    When humanity fails to see these facts, that is the day god truly vanishes

    • Rev. Wulff says:

      -god being real or not, changes lives. people dedicate themselves to leading happy and virtuous lives in his name

      People also do terrible things in the name of their god.

      -and also that there are many good people, whose lives need something to believe in.

      Good people do not need the belief in or existence of a god to do good things. Some bad people may be held back from doing bad by such a belief, but that does not make them good people.

    • DickVanstone says:

      Hey Austin. You have been misinformed about morals being thrown out with god. There are bad apples among believers as well as nonbelievers.

      Pastafarians are not telling people to not believe in your god. They can do as they please and we shall do as we please.

      I don’t believe your god is vanishing but rather the clouds of obfuscation are clearing and in their stead a glorious FSM appears. I just hope His noodly appendage touches you one day.

      RAMen

    • Pete Byrdie says:

      Welcome, Austin

      People will always believe in something, regardless of whether it’s a religion. The notion that religion is the origin of morality is as ridiculous as the notion touted by some that it’s the source of human evil. Some of those morals you talk of include killing heretics and restricting the rights of those who are different. We will still have morals without religion, but perhaps we can formulate those morals based on how we’d like the world to progress, not according to cultural views from thousands of years ago that have been fossilised by blind faith.

      I appreciate the moderate tone and spirit of open discussion in which you came here. Those are qualities we rarely see in our critics.

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      Austin, to say that without religion or just belief in a higher power there would be no morality is to say that a psychopath is cured because he’s wearing a straight-jacket. If you need a cosmic boogey-man to keep you in line, you just don’t get it.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Austin, I would be very pleased to sit under the stars with you, share a few barrels of beer and marvel at the Universe. My scurvy crew would demonstrate the highest moral standards; perhaps, leaving you puzzled as to how that could possibly be.
      Ever heard of the Fuzzy Wuzzy Angels? ‘Heathens’ who acted with the utmost humanity. How?

  4. Austin Grandstaff says:

    So, realistically your goal is to show people how stupid they sound? ive noticed nearly all of your sayings (besides the one about pirates) can be replaced with a god(any) and closely connect to the multiple realigions around the world. The carbon dating, god says the world is young. FSM made the world, so did god. The real thing that makes it hard for people to get their head around it is the fact that FSM is a Flying Speghetti Monster.

    • Pastafarian says:

      DUH!

      • Austin Grandstaff says:

        So i legitly came to learn about what it is your doing. Thank you for the courtesy

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Austin, God keeps changing: in the Old Testament He was a genocidal psychopath; then, He became a benevolent old man sitting on the clouds; then, He became a spirit in our hearts. Etc. Yet I don’t think He changed at all; I believe these changing perceptions are all man-made, which is forbidden on several levels in the Bible. I see FSM as a comment on that.
      I claim to be a Zen Pastafarian, which means I need no dogma, rituals or even language to ‘know’. Indeed, giving up such practices is the path to enlightenment. Also, if I ever met FSM on the road, I would eat Him and He’s far tastier than other deities. Aaaarghhhhh…..

      PS. I would also be pleased to be a Zen Christian, it would make no difference. Ever seen Westboro Baptists in action? That’s my idea of Hell.

  5. Austin Grandstaff says:

    yes i understand that but what i want to know is why? What will we gain? If the world wants to be blind why try to stop them? More and more people are becoming atheistic, why try to speedin it up? wiould the world be a better place?

    • Apprentice Frederic says:

      Yes.

    • Rev. Wulff says:

      To the people who are being harmed by fundamentalist religious dogma, yes the world would be a much better place. Ask the LGBTQ community in Uganda if religion is harming them. Or the millions of women in the Middle East who live in oppressive Islamic theocracies. Ireland is still torn apart by Catholics fighting Protestants, and they believe in the *same* god. These are not exceptions to the rule; these are the rule. For centuries, the bible was used to justify slavery, and even after slavery was abolished it is still used to promote racial segregation, sexism, and violence.

    • Pete Byrdie says:

      I think that secularism is increasing, atheism along with it. I also think some modern approaches to atheism simply create new dogma for people with such a mind towards prejudice and discrimination. The only dogma we observe is the rejection of dogma. The Pastafarian way is to show the world a mirror of themselves, merely to allow it a better understanding of itself. The world doesn’t want to be blind. It’s merely shortsighted. We’re merely offering it spectacles.

      • Apprentice Frederic says:

        Well said. One might add a cautionary note, though, that “atheism” (staying a nautical mile away from the IS!/IS NOT! a belief argument…) is overused by the devout to describe anyone who disagrees with their version of the creator. Austin – the FSM splash him with Sauce – might use the word that way above, however courteously.

    • Jo Switten says:

      Yes…

  6. Austin Grandstaff says:

    thank you for your hospitality. i think i my join

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Congratulations, Austin! Your dual beliefs are completely compatible. Why not be ordained as well? You have completed the rigorous training and appear to have the high moral standards required. Indeed, if your standards have been achieved by reasoning, I submit they are more genuine than compliance through fear. Both God and FSM know that and work in mysterious ways. Aaaarghhhh…..

  7. Rev. Wulff says:

    We have the easiest application process. Show up when you feel like it. Contribute if you wish. Eat pasta from time to time. Respect your fellows.

    • Rev. Wulff says:

      I’m not sure why this posted here. It was supposed to be a reply to Austin above.

  8. Austin Grandstaff says:

    Yes! one day we will change minds. the moment i am able i will surley be ordained. im glad that i am being enlightened by the cause. im happy to be a part o something bigger than myself moving toward a common goal. You will see more of me brethren. may his noodelyness guide you towards eternal pasta.

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