I can appreciate a good joke

Published February 15th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

I can appreciate a good joke as much as any other guy.  But there’s a difference between making a joke and insulting other people.  When you begin to bring in specific religious practice or condemnations for not doing as the religion "requires," that becomes an insult.  Think of it this way: your website is good, but what’s the point of your occasional advertisement on the bottom with a picture of the religious book of FSM saying "Save Your Heathen Soul"?  It directly says to others that if you don’t believe what we tell you, you’re wrong and going to hell.  Yes, I’m a Christian, no I don’t believe most of the things in the church’s past were okay.  I simply choose to believe that there is a God, and if anybody has any questions about my faith, I’ll be happy to answer and guide them if that’s what they want.  If they believe otherwise, I’ll allow them to stay that way, because there’s nothing I can do to force their belief.  All I’m really saying is, think about what purpose each thing you say serves, and whether it’s taking it a step too far.

The point of our church is not to offend, but understand it is bound to happen.  Most of us in the Church of FSM are not anti-religion, and we have many Pastafarians who are active members of mainstream religions.  Part of what we’re doing here is questioning ideas considered rude to question.  Or, knocking down religion a peg – however you want to look at it.  We think it’s a dangerous situation for institutions and ideas to be above scrutiny.  

At the risk of spoiling the “Save Your Heathen Soul” joke, I’ll explain it.  You see, Christians often threaten nonbelievers with THEIR hell-place for various sins or sinful lifestyles – either explicitly, or indirectly, or in a judging veiled-friendliness sort of way.  But nonbelievers DON’T BELIEVE IN YOUR HELL.  Aside from the fact that we find it offensive the idea that we need a rulebook to define our morality, it is a strange proposition to be invited to believe in scripture in order to be saved from a consequence of it.  The “Save Your Heathen Soul” joke is a nod to other nonbelievers who have experienced this phenomenon. 

But, DJN, I honestly like Christians, the majority of those I know – and my experience in running the Church of the FSM has only increased my opinion of Christians (really).  I believe that the majority of Christians are thoughtful and open-minded, and that most are members of churches partly because of a belief in God, and partly because of the social benefits and community that being part of a church allows.  I get a ton of emails from thoughtful Christians who understand what we’re doing here at the Church of FSM – people like you who don’t approve of the abuses perpetrated in the Name of God. 

So, understand that around here there is an effort not to offend people, but at the same take a hard look at the strange business of religion. And in this way we give Glory to The Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster, the one and only True God, who someday I hope Touches you with His Noodly Appendage so that you may know His Loving Embrace. 


385 Responses to “I can appreciate a good joke”

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  1. Mark Black says:

    Even if it was a joke (I highly doubt it), it grew bigger. Most social networks (e.g. Facebook or Vkontakte) included pastafarianism as an official religion and accepted FSM.

    • Rasputin says:

      Are there any Christian blogs where Pastafarians can preach our message? We’ve had plenty of kind gentle Christians coming onto our blogs and telling us we’re gonna burn in f**king hell you unbelivinG sak of sh*t FsM is food youstupd morron iddiots seek salvition in Jesus. I just think we should return the favour but PLEASE be kind and gentle and sweet. Anybody who goes onto a Christian blog and is deliberately offensive is a douchebag and definitely not one of us. We’re nicer than Christians, Jews and Muslims, right? Please tell us if you know any links.

      • Rasputin says:

        So has anyone found any Christian blogs yet? I’d like to spread the word of the FSM in a kind, gentle and funny way.

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          Try answersingenesis.com

        • The Sauceror says:

          Dear Rasputin, I have tried to look, but I find that the cheap spices that the parody religions use in their sauces lead to nothing but severe indigestion. Please understand that while I am desparately trying to pasta-tize to followers of faux religions, it is quite difficult to speak common pasta-sense to someone whose lasagna has been laced with the opiate of the masses. Excalibur elucidates this dilemma as well as anyone I have ever met. Please understand that it is quite difficult for a critical and rational thinker to ram his noodly head through a block wall. We pastafarians have more noodle sense than that. If you have any revelations from the FSM that will assist in this delicious endevor, I am willing to listen– while drinking beer, of course.

        • Rasputin says:

          Dear TheFewTheProudTheMarinara, Thankyou for your good advice. I can’t find any Christian blogs worth using. Can anyone out there suggest one? Perhaps we pirates could choose a single site and gatecrash it, like drunken pirates entering a respectable high-class wine reception. I tried a website for LBGT Christians. I wanted to say, “Aaarrggh, you’re worshippin’ the wrong god, Jebus hates fags, scrub our decks and play with our salty seamen”, but the site wasn’t responding. Any suggestions?

  2. bob says:

    Flying Spaghetti Monster is food, you PASTAFARIANS need to stop dreaming and it really need to wake up of that hilarious, not real dream! It will make everybody happier! Flying Spaghetti Monster is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard of in my entire life. You “pastafarians” need to go get a life. You need Jesus in your life, I’m just saying. God bless you!
    Fyi: flying spaghetti monster is a myth…and it will always be! God bless. And go find GOD!

    • SillyKiwiMan says:

      Why do we need to find jeebus? How do you idiots keep losing him? I thought the whole point of nailing him to a plus-sign was to stop him wandering off?

      I also like the fact that our delicious deity is food, where at the alleged last supper, jeebus was supposed to have referred to himself as a comestible also. While I love wine, spaghetti beats the shit out of bread.


      • Keith says:

        Agreed. I enjoy black pudding but I don’t want it to come from a 2000 year old zombie in a dress.

      • Rasputin says:

        Thanks, SillyKiwiMan, your comments are laugh-out-loud funny.

    • The Sauceror says:

      Dear bob, please tell us that you are only pretending to be dumb.

      • Rasputin says:

        Dear Bob, we’ve already found God and he’s noodle-shaped. One definition of God is that He is “that than which nothing greater can be conceived” but the Christian/Jewish/Muslim god lacks a sense of humour. You state in your message that the FSM is the funniest thing you’ve ever heard of in your entire life. Thererore the FSM must be the true representation of God whereas Allah/Yahweh/Jehova is a dimwit without any funny bones. If we agree that there is only one god, the FSM is the genuine article whereas the god of Christians, Jews and Muslims is false.

        • Excelsior says:

          Dear Rasputin
          . Don’t forget that “All Gods are real!” 1000 of them can be found at the website below:
          You can’t find the FSM there because he is very special and can’t be lumped together with the other hoi-poloi Gods! He is the most important God there is! He is more real than the other Gods! Ramen!

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      Great news, Bob! I found Jesus. Seems he’s playing second base for a minor league baseball team in California.

      • Alphy says:

        That’s wonderful. Is geezus going to rapture you too? I’ve heard that Geezus is one of the best all American Quarter backs there is. He can really kick ass! He’s no sissy. You libruls betta watch out for him. He’ll kick your azzus!

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          If I get to choose, how about Jessica Alba rapture me?

      • Rasputin says:

        Thaks for the info, Excelsior. I looked at the site last time you told us. Fascinating.

    • Methisbest says:

      legit is it that hard for people to understand. If Jesus is real and no one has ever seen him then why cant the FSM be real!!!!! All of these people who are saying that he’s just an “Italian cuisine” have no right, all there doing is proving there own religion false. In truth isn’t the FSM just a depiction of god? The heaven is just what many people would depict as the perfect world and the outfits are just our way of showing our commitment. Is it that hard to understand?

  3. Saint Gnocchi says:

    Dear methisbest, Heaven: What puzzles me about it is how, in heaven, dead people sit around on clouds, making music. You can’t bring your own music with you though – but standard issue is that everyone gets a harp. (If you don’t dig harp music, tough s*ts, I’m afraid!) Heaven, however, IS Sit-Friendly! Standard issue, too, when dead bodies arrive, is a chair per body. Chairs, though – with dead bodies on ’em busy making music, get heavy so the chair legs sink and poke holes in the clouds. This is why clouds leak and we, down below, get wet. Otherwise known to us as Holy Water- aka “Rain.” I believe this is elementary science stuff taught in Sunday Schools here on earth. Religious people, unlike us pagans, are highly eddikated.

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