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428 Comments

Are you a retard?

Published February 3rd, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

I saw your retarded website and asked myself "why?" but then, there are a lot of crackheads in the world, and you seem to be one of the more insane ones. That is a joke website, right? Can you honestly tell yourself that you truly believe in this load of shit? Pasta is an inanimate food object. It cannot fly. It does not have eyes. It never was and never will be alive and breathing. For your own health, I ask you to stop whatever the hell you’re smoking.

-spf



428 Responses to “Are you a retard?”

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  1. Big Guy says:

    an atheist is like a noodle without sauce…

    lonely wet and uncomfortable with no purpose

    • Big Guy says:

      Which is why I troll the web. I am an atheist because I disbelieve in the only true god, the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

    • Cap'n Flint says:

      So you have SAND, but do you have any gravel? You are obviously mentally disturbed Big Guy. Get professional help.

  2. Big Guy says:

    @ Big Guy impostor on June 12, 2011 at 6:06 PM

    You & Cap’n Flint start the name calling the first sign of someone loosing an argument

    GOD Bless you both & may HE in his infinite wisdom find it in HIS heart to forgive you for your awful transgressions.

    • Big Guy says:

      FSM nless you both & may His Noodliness in his infinite wisdom find it in his heart to forgive you for your awful transgressions.

    • TiltedHorizon says:

      Name calling is the first sign of someone loosing an argument? How many times have you called someone a “noodle head”, “Christian Hater”, “Jihadist”, and “limp noodles” in the last few months? Hypocrite.

    • TASM10 says:

      Hi guys,

      Big Guy, “someone losing an argument” implies that there was an argument in the first place, and let me assure you there has been no such thing since you came on. Nay, your case drowned itself in the tide of repetitious drivel you have since spouted out continuously. We respond to your pathetic, bigotted, ignorant jibes in kind with name calling as you deserve nothing else. Don’t you dare try to patronize me with your “God bless you” crap either. I beg you, just stop with the pointless and empty threats, inane and useless comments and leave this site! By staying and pleading your case you only highlight what an ill-educated, racist, sexist, homophobic, pious moron you are. I don’t care if your God is offended by this, he can bite me for all I care. Here are two other things you can do to help this site…

      1. Get your head out of your arse before the FSM in HIS infinite wisdom finds it is HIS heart to crush you with your patheic moral high road.

      2.I feel that I am repeating myself (this must be how you feel all the time), GET BACK UNDER YOUR BRIDGE VILE TROLL!!!!!!

      R’Amen all,
      Tasm10

      • The Enough of Big Guy Committee says:

        TASM,

        We completely agree with your sentiments.

        TEOBGC

  3. Anonymous the Pastafarian says:

    Pasta being inanimate is a test of your faith of the flying spaghetti monster.

    • TASM10 says:

      The pasta only appears to be inanimate, showing it’s true form only to pure Pastafarians.Unfortunately no non-pastafarian scientist can measure this animation, as the pasta loses it’s power in the prescence of non-believers. Some religious scholars think that with every bowl of pasta, noodles etc. the FSM imparts a tiny bit of His holy sauce to make the dish one with him. So, whenever we eat these dishes he imparts some of his divineness. It is even said that those who consume enough of Him will become forever part of Him. (Whatever that means!). May his rich meaty sauce surround you in lean times, may his noodly appendage guide you through dark times, and may his continued warmth draw the pasta lovers across all of His creation to Him.

      R’Amen
      TASM10

  4. '67Mustang says:

    For your own health I ask you to get a medical marijuana liscense and start toking. Seriously that much uptightness can give you heart problems. Stress ya know.

  5. djv says:

    If we’re “crack-heads” for believing in our FSM then what are Christians for believing in a virgin birth? How about Noah’s arc? A snake talking to a woman and getting her to eat an apple of wisdom?

    You’re just as crazy as us; and that’s the whole point of Pastafarianism.

    • mike says:

      Eve was set up!!!

  6. Max says:

    no u r retard man, it’s INVISIBLE you stupid, INVISIBLE (like your god is btw)

  7. Taylor says:

    You are all ridiculous. End of.

    • Vodkawithpenne says:

      End of what?

  8. Greg H says:

    Can you prove that “God” can fly? Can you prove “He” have eyes. Can you prove “He” has at one point been alive, or that “He” has at one point inhaled/exhaled?

    Unless you call “seeing him in your dreams,” or “the holy Bible said He did” proof, then no, I’m pretty sure you cannot.

    You have no general proof of your God existing. And with all honesty, Pastafarianism has no proof either. Very much like you, Pastafarians everywhere rely on faith. You can’t simply dismiss the FSM from existence just because he’s a floating Italian dish. If that’s the case, we can easily dismiss your “White-bearded holiness that lives in the clouds” because nobody can live and breathe in such high altitudes.

    Point being, you have no right to dismiss Pastafarianism as a religion.
    If otherwise, I’m going to pick up my metaphorical guns and start firing away at your hocus-pocus beliefs, ’cause that’s evidently what you are doing to us.

    • TheDevil says:

      there is one slight difference…and I really hate to be the one to point out the obvious here.

      in an attempt to mock and ridicule others, you’re lying about your own “beliefs”.

      -the devil

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