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Old painting sighting

Published January 29th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

FSM Jesus

I stumbled across this old painting in an ancient text on the internet.

It looks like a powerful Pastarfarian. Check out those lovely spaghetti locks and luscious meatball eyes. I wonder, is there more to the story than we yet realize? Could The mighty Spaghetti Monster have sent a messenger to this world in times gone by to preach of His noodly love?

Tom



67 Responses to “Old painting sighting”

  1. Saint Gnocchi says:

    Oh my FSM! The picture submitted by Tom is priceless. Ah, lordy, it is superb. Eat your heart out David Beckham. The beauty spot alongside the Holy Pasta’s sexy nose just slays me. He can park his sea boots under my bed anytime.

  2. I HATE THE FSM says:

    That is FAKE. You just colored a picture of Jesus.

    Plus, the flying food monster does not exist. Therefore, I hate it.

    • SillyKiwiMan says:

      If something doesn’t exist, what’s the point in hating it? I don’t hate your god, because there’s simply nothing to hate.

      I just think that people who believe in it, like yourself, are stupid.

      • Rasputin says:

        Dear SillyKiwiMan, excellent response. Why does “I HATE” hate something which doesn’t exist? By hating the FSM, he admits it exists! He’s knocked the ball into the back of his own net (equivalent to a slam-dunk for folks in the USA).

        • I HATE THE FSM says:

          I’m a GIRL

      • I HATE THE FSM says:

        I am NOT STUPID!

        • SillyKiwiMan says:

          In this church, we follow evidence, not doctrine, or what we would like to believe is true.

          All evidence suggests that you are, in fact, stupid. Due to an utter lack of evidence to the contrary, I therefore hold the opinion that you are stupid, and I’ll continue to hold this opinion until presented with evidence to alter my opinion.

          I’m not going to hold my breath.

    • Keith says:

      Still waiting for you to answer my request from February 20, 2016 at 7:56 PM

      I HATE THE FSM: Could you please give me your very best reason for saying that Jesus and God aren’t false. In other words, please demonstrate to me why they are true. Here is a good opportunity to convert me to your faith. Don’t try turning the tables and saying “Well, you’ve got to prove that the FSM exists.” Don’t try the old “Well, you wouldn’t believe anyway because y’all wanna sin.” Just come straight out with a first Peter 3:15.

      • I HATE THE FSM says:

        Sillykiwiman: Call me stupid ONE MORE TIME. I know for a fact that you have accomplished no more than I, and whereas you believe that my favorite food created the world… God forbid you call me names.

        • SillyKiwiMan says:

          I’m never one to refuse a lady:

          You’re stupid.

        • Keith says:

          Why should you get upset if anyone calls you names? Your first posting to this site called us liars. (Refer Feb 17th). Would you also say that we are fools?

        • Master Bates says:

          Keith….. I’m waiting…. the one-way ticket should cause her fuse should blow.

        • Master Bates says:

          HATE…. your ‘facts’ are as worthless as your threats.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          St. Gnocchi, as a devout woman, may I assume that HATE would comply, if her father, pointing at the Bible, sold her on eBay?

  3. Rasputin says:

    Go on Keith, Bukkake all over his face. Shout “Yaarrgghhh” whilst you spray your sauce.

    • I HATE THE FSM says:

      No, I’m not

      • SillyKiwiMan says:

        I think the fact that you can’t even post a reply to the correct thread is more evidence in my favour.

        You’re welcome.

    • Rasputin says:

      Sorry, HER face. Even better.

      • Master Bates says:

        Keith, would you ‘baptise’ a deserving girl?

        • Keith says:

          I am not licenced to do that sort of thing.

        • The Sauceror says:

          Parish the thought!

  4. Saint Gnocchi says:

    Dear I HATE. I presume that no-one knows you better than you know yourself. We’ve complied when you ASKED to be called stupid, so don’t cry foul – you are being a rather silly person. May our loving FSM, whom you reject now, noodle his delightful way into your impoverished heart, and bless you big time you silly bugger. :>)

  5. Rasputin says:

    Dear “I HATE”, your blog said (and I quote), “Call me stupid one more time” so he did.
    And so will I: You’re stupid.
    Abuse apart, you’re welcome to discuss theology with us. We might all learn something. Please don’t come here with hate in your heart. It’s negative.

    • I HATE THE FSM says:

      Look, you people are into promoting blasphemy and attack on religion. I don’t insult people for disagreeing with my belief, but when someone actually PUTS DOWN religions, that’s something else! No one in their right mind would worship spaghetti! And your rituals are MADE to insult other people’s religions. It’s one thing to not believe, but when your satire starts to turn evil that’s too far. Satire is okay but you have just gone TOO FAR! You guys just want to pick a fight by posting provocative images and saying blasphemous things! I’m not going to give you a fight, but maybe someday I’ll come back as I REALLY HATE THE FSM!!

      • Keith says:

        May I point out that you visited our site, seemingly with the sole intent of insulting us by calling us liars. If you are so easily offended then don’t come to our site. I gather by your childish rage that you have a lot of growing up to do. Perhaps your parents should exercise more control over your access to the internet.

        • SillyKiwiMan says:

          Agreed. While my intent isn’t to offend, it’s to force someone to actually think, if they’re offended by my questions, then I see it as a bonus. If the questions are offensive, then the premise I’m questioning is usually more so.

      • SillyKiwiMan says:

        Of course we’re into promoting blasphemy! Which part gave it away?

        Frankly, no one in their right mind would worship any god of any description.

        At every turn you’ve sought a fight, it’s telling that you came to it unarmed. Perhaps the magazine of your mind is empty?

      • Captain Birdseye says:

        HATE…. do you think that Jesus was black? Some people do. What about God is an alien? What about Buddhists (there is not god)? What about Krishna? Or Animism? Or Islam? Or WBC? Are any of these a parody of Christianity? Do you hate all of them?
        Is Christianity a parody of Saturn, Zeus or Thor? Early Christians were persecuted because they were parodying REAL religions!
        Has anything changed? Guessing your answer as: “But, they are all false gods”, leads to only more questions, such as: how do you know? And, did God exist before the Bible? And, if God ‘moves in mysterious ways’, why not as The FSM? And, would Jesus hate The FSM? And, would you attend a KKK service? Why not?
        Long before Christians, there was a religion called Chrestian. Are these the same thing, or, did Christians parody Chrestians? Do you hate Chrestians? Why not?
        Why do you hate anything, or, is that an insight into your heart?

        • Rasputin says:

          Dear “I HATE”, the FSM loves you anyway. Or He would, except He’s busy having His noodles sucked by the strippers.

    • I HATE THE FSM says:

      I don’t have hate in my heart, I just hate blasphemy and people mocking religion with an absurd food idol.

      • Keith says:

        Are you still here?

        Remember this?

        I HATE THE FSM says:
        February 21, 2016 at 3:41 PM

        GOODBYE SATANIC WEBSITE

        Another piece of hypocrisy on your part. You refuse to debate the reality of your god when asked to (in direct contradiction to Peter 1 3:15) . Note, posting a link to a you tube video of a bunch of people gibbering away with a tornado in the background does not prove anything.
        You keep dancing around to different subjects posting your childish admonitions. It is possible that you are a troll, and a not very inventive one at that. It seems more likely that you are what you appear to be: a kid who has not even left primary school and who is violently reacting to having her faith questioned and in return questioning her own faith. In response you blame others for your own failings and are intellectually dishonest about your belief system.
        I do not expect a coherent reply to this: just more accusations.

        • The Sauceror says:

          I always question the logic of arguing logic with a 12 year-old. The argument is fun to watch, but a 12 year-old is still a 12 year-old. A 12 year-old is ALWAYS right, no matter how illogical her logic is.

        • Master Bates says:

          Like the Holy Ghost, The Sauceror, did you learn this the hard way?

  6. Rasputin says:

    Dear “I HATE”, we’re not blasphemers. We just recognise that God can’t be the megalomaniac mass murderer of the Bible. The bronze age nomads who wrote the Bible infused it with their own myths and bigotries. The Bible has no more authority than other belief systems which failed to survive to the present day. The FSM is a rebooting of God for modern humankind.

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