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Official church stance of homosexual marriage

Published January 19th, 2011 by Katie

Fellow Pastafarians,

I am writing about the official church stance of homosexual marriage (i.e. none). I am concerned that this stance is in direct contradiction with the will of the FSM. You see, I received a vision from the FSM this evening while (as is often the case) I was cooking a grilled cheese sandwich.

During his appearance he told me that homosexuals are gay because He has touched them with his noodley appendage. This is the reason that “experts” have had so much difficulty pinpointing what makes someone gay. And since gays and lesbians have been chosen by Him, to deny them the right to get married is an abomination in His eyes (meatballs). Of course many have argued that no major religion has ever accepted homosexuality. It should obvious to any FSM follower that the real reason homosexuals are shunned from mainstream religion is because of blatant prejudice towards those who have been touched by Him. A bigotry that I know many of my fellow Pastafarians have experienced first hand.

I am especially concerned because of the state of gay rights movement today. Too often gay activists argue that should be given the right to marry because of court precedent that says marriage is their “right as a human being” or essential to the “dignity ” of a relationship. Then they rely on the 14th amendment to say that they deserve “equal protection under the laws” and that under constitution gay people are “equal to” straight people.

Well I think to time to put these arguments to rest. Gay Pastafarians should sue because not allowing gay marriage is a violation of their first amendment rights since it is commanded by the FSM as relayed to me in my vision. Of course He works in mysterious ways and we may never why He commands that gays get married. But there is no question that He does.

Now if I know my fellow Pastafarians, you want proof. Attached is a photo of the grilled sandwich I was cooking when He appeared to me. I think it speaks for itself. I hope that it is satisfactory proof to convince everyone that we should amend the CotFSM’s stance on gay marriage to supporting it. Only then can gay Pastafarians demand true religious freedom and marry as the FSM intended.

May you all be touched by his noodley appendage,

Katie



290 Responses to “Official church stance of homosexual marriage”

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  1. Prophet Devin de Todd says:

    I thought having a penis like a limp noodle was insulting, but I’m confused in the context of the Holy Cot FSM. Is it good to have a penis shaped like his holy appendage? Maybe I should do a pasta fast and see what if I can get a vision. Pasta be unto you until we meet again in that great pasta bowl in the sky!

    • Prophet Devin de Todd says:

      “…and see if I can get a vision.” There’s not edit :-/

  2. Saucious says:

    R’amen sister

  3. Ted Feuerbach says:

    I think that we must study this further. It appears that FSM *hates* Gays if he would subject them to the torture and misery that we Straights have to suffer in marriage. FSM, oh great one who art in my refrigerator, please save the Gays from this marital scourge of the Straights. Instead FSM, save the rest of us all from this scourge, without us losing the car, the house and the pasta pot.

    R’amen

    • Fred says:

      R’amen Brother Ted.

  4. Sarah says:

    At first I was very surprised that his Noodlyness would appear on toast, typically a non paster food, for such an important message.
    However after speaking with a fellow believer we have concluded it makes perfect sense because bread is dough produced from a grain and thus of the same holy materials of the sacred pasta.
    It is really wonderful and life affirming to see his Holy Noodles of love touching us in all our food, including our breakfast fare!
    Ramen!

  5. Megan says:

    Ok I am officially converted to being a Pastafarian. I’ve never liked a religion until now! Oh and Ramen!

  6. Bradley Jefferson says:

    Thank you Flying Spaghetti Monster for getting me through my alcohol addiction. I have finally found my Higher Power.

  7. Michael says:

    Thank you, I was feeling very unhappy about the catholic and muslim stances on gay marriage, and reading this made me feel so much better, so all I can really say is just thank you.

  8. MadMax says:

    You should be ashamed of yourself for presuming to know whatever the FSM (ramen) has taught us and that is non compliance so be gay but dont think our pasta will give you free reign to use him for he may be stringy but he could be al dente and stiff, noodly punishment sucks, we are all here for our FSM (ramen) lord but dont think you can speak for himj that is presumptuous and shame on you for misleading his pastafarian followers

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