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Official church stance of homosexual marriage

Published January 19th, 2011 by Katie

Fellow Pastafarians,

I am writing about the official church stance of homosexual marriage (i.e. none). I am concerned that this stance is in direct contradiction with the will of the FSM. You see, I received a vision from the FSM this evening while (as is often the case) I was cooking a grilled cheese sandwich.

During his appearance he told me that homosexuals are gay because He has touched them with his noodley appendage. This is the reason that “experts” have had so much difficulty pinpointing what makes someone gay. And since gays and lesbians have been chosen by Him, to deny them the right to get married is an abomination in His eyes (meatballs). Of course many have argued that no major religion has ever accepted homosexuality. It should obvious to any FSM follower that the real reason homosexuals are shunned from mainstream religion is because of blatant prejudice towards those who have been touched by Him. A bigotry that I know many of my fellow Pastafarians have experienced first hand.

I am especially concerned because of the state of gay rights movement today. Too often gay activists argue that should be given the right to marry because of court precedent that says marriage is their “right as a human being” or essential to the “dignity ” of a relationship. Then they rely on the 14th amendment to say that they deserve “equal protection under the laws” and that under constitution gay people are “equal to” straight people.

Well I think to time to put these arguments to rest. Gay Pastafarians should sue because not allowing gay marriage is a violation of their first amendment rights since it is commanded by the FSM as relayed to me in my vision. Of course He works in mysterious ways and we may never why He commands that gays get married. But there is no question that He does.

Now if I know my fellow Pastafarians, you want proof. Attached is a photo of the grilled sandwich I was cooking when He appeared to me. I think it speaks for itself. I hope that it is satisfactory proof to convince everyone that we should amend the CotFSM’s stance on gay marriage to supporting it. Only then can gay Pastafarians demand true religious freedom and marry as the FSM intended.

May you all be touched by his noodley appendage,

Katie



321 Responses to “Official church stance of homosexual marriage”

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  1. Reverend Captain Psmitty says:

    Also, what does it say about His Noodliness that he goes around rubbing gay people with his noodly appendage? Maybe its the straights that ought to be discriminated against.

  2. nun s equator says:

    k says: i did not eat it, i still have it in my freezer :)!

    right next 2 the snowball & roadkill collections…

    • Katie says:

      What does that mean?

  3. Pastar Ragathony says:

    I too have been touched by his noodly appendage, but so far – I’m still straight. Are you sure you’ve got this absolutely right?

    • Katie says:

      Being touch by his noodly appendage can lead to many different outcomes. Being gay is just one of them. But of course, they must all be celebrated!

      • Katie says:

        And for do I have it absolutely right… I believe my vision/miracle/post is at least as credible as any other holy text. Whether it’s a 100% right is a question of faith.

  4. baldypaul says:

    does it not say the heart wants what the heart wants some where maybe he just put that in my head but its true never the less oh maybe it was jehovah no doesnt sound like some thing he would say maybe allah yeah that sounds right, no allah says burn them, well if you love someone set them free deffinatley sting

  5. mofflyinspaghettimonster says:

    As pastafarians we should all wear pasta strainers on our heads.

    • pastarasta says:

      The FSM isnt predjudiced to poor people. what if i cant afford a pasta strainer.

      • mofflyinspaghettimonster says:

        Wear paper hats

      • pastarasta says:

        anyway what’s this got to do with gay marriage?

        • mofflyinspaghettimonster says:

          Everything

  6. pastarasta says:

    ill think about it

    • pastarasta says:

      wearing peper hats i mean

      • mofflyinspaghettimonster says:

        Pfffffffffft!

  7. Fred says:

    “As pastafarians we should all wear pasta strainers on our heads.”
    mofflyinspaghettimonster says:
    February 23, 2012 at 6:27 AM

    But of course. All the major religious leaders in the world wear big hats.
    Hole-y Strainer. It is written in the sacred scriptures of The Holy Recipe Book.

  8. SillyKiwiMan says:

    Anyone in Sydney planning of doing anything for Mardi Gras this year? I’m tempted to attend something, in full pirate regalia of course, with a sign pointing out that everyone has the right to be happy. If anyone fancies worshipping his noodliness at a pub in Newtown, Erskineville or the city, then let’s see what can be organised.

    • Keith says:

      A pity I can’t go the Mardis Gras. Last time my O/H and I planned and organised our trip our cat developed a severe limp the day prior to our going so we had to cancel. He recovered immediately after the vet said he could find nothing wrong. Damn clever these cats.

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